I am sitting in Union Square waiting for an appointment, and a high school band is playing latin jazz music. The weather is warm for San Francisco. I wish I had a camera on my blackberry so I could upload a pic for everyone to see.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
I was checking the email for this blog and found a fanmail from a casual reader. It's fun for me to know that random people are reading my blog and enjoying what they read, even if it is my bizarro personal life.
The fanmail referred to my relationship with M-Square, whom I haven't spoken to since February 2006 but whom I occassionaly spy on only because he has a profile on myspace. I'm quite pathetic huh! The more I read the comments he gets, the more I realize that us breaking up was probably the best thing that could have happened, and I totally am grateful to him that he decided to leave my life. I think he kind of wanted to beat me to the punc, because I think I probably would have broken up with him sooner rather than later.
For those of you who know the M-Square saga, the dialogue I wrote a couple of days was inspired by him and some of the issues we went through as a couple. 99% of it is totally made up but I tried to write the guy part like M-Square was talking to me, although I know that he would totally protest that I wasn't feeling him and got his way of talking totally wrong.
Memo to guys - if you've been any kind of schmuck to the girl you are dating, for god's sake, don't use that phrase "you're not feeling me" in the middle of an argument. When M-Square said it to me I just wanted to yell back. "No, I don't know what it's like to feel like a lying good-for-nothing freak and I don't ever want to experience those kinds of feelings." The "you're not feeling me" line only works if you're someone the person you're speaking to wants or cares to know what you're feeling, and most people do not want to know what it feels like to be a jerk. People have enough problems about feeling their own jerkiness, so they certainly don't need to feel any of yours.
The fanmail referred to my relationship with M-Square, whom I haven't spoken to since February 2006 but whom I occassionaly spy on only because he has a profile on myspace. I'm quite pathetic huh! The more I read the comments he gets, the more I realize that us breaking up was probably the best thing that could have happened, and I totally am grateful to him that he decided to leave my life. I think he kind of wanted to beat me to the punc, because I think I probably would have broken up with him sooner rather than later.
For those of you who know the M-Square saga, the dialogue I wrote a couple of days was inspired by him and some of the issues we went through as a couple. 99% of it is totally made up but I tried to write the guy part like M-Square was talking to me, although I know that he would totally protest that I wasn't feeling him and got his way of talking totally wrong.
Memo to guys - if you've been any kind of schmuck to the girl you are dating, for god's sake, don't use that phrase "you're not feeling me" in the middle of an argument. When M-Square said it to me I just wanted to yell back. "No, I don't know what it's like to feel like a lying good-for-nothing freak and I don't ever want to experience those kinds of feelings." The "you're not feeling me" line only works if you're someone the person you're speaking to wants or cares to know what you're feeling, and most people do not want to know what it feels like to be a jerk. People have enough problems about feeling their own jerkiness, so they certainly don't need to feel any of yours.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
I've spent the whole night listening to different ring tones, but couldn't decide which one to buy. The ones I really want would be really too loud for the office. I'm sure my cube mates would freak out if they heard a song by Disturbed coming out of my phone. But I love Disturbed songs and they are loud enough so I could hear them.
If I was going for my favorite band I guess I would have to pick The Cure, but then they have these funny ones like this guy saying "is this a booty call?" or some other guy saying don't answer the phone because it's a wrong number. There's also Darth Vader and Yoda telling you to answer your phone. How funny is that.
Actually, the ones that sounded pretty good were:
- intro to Sweet Child of Mine by Guns N Roses
- Synth intro to Baby O'Reilly by The Who
- All allong the Watchtower intro by Jimi Hendrix
- Wish you were here by Pink Floyd - such a funny ring for a phone
But then I keep thinking it would be kind of fun to have a classical music phone ring, but would I be able to hear the phone ring when it's in my bag? I don't think so.
If I was going for my favorite band I guess I would have to pick The Cure, but then they have these funny ones like this guy saying "is this a booty call?" or some other guy saying don't answer the phone because it's a wrong number. There's also Darth Vader and Yoda telling you to answer your phone. How funny is that.
Actually, the ones that sounded pretty good were:
- intro to Sweet Child of Mine by Guns N Roses
- Synth intro to Baby O'Reilly by The Who
- All allong the Watchtower intro by Jimi Hendrix
- Wish you were here by Pink Floyd - such a funny ring for a phone
But then I keep thinking it would be kind of fun to have a classical music phone ring, but would I be able to hear the phone ring when it's in my bag? I don't think so.
I'm in a playwriting mood these days. I'm even thinking of resurrecting that play I wrote years ago and finishing it. I had some great ideas for the rest of the scenes yesterday.
This fictional conversation between a male and a female flowed out of me this afternoon. I think it will make for an interesting scene in a future play.
**********************************
Female: You know I used to really think you were something some back in the day. God, you were amazing … but l mean, look at you now.
Male: People change, priorities change, life makes you change.
Female: NO! Not like this, not like you.
Male: I’m still the same person underneath.
Female: No, you’re not. You were strong, you were invincible, you were like Russell Crowe in that gladiatior movie, you could unleash hell.
Male: I still can if I want to.
Female: Unleash what? you can barely pay your rent, you don’t even have health insurance. OH MY GOD, you’re like a, like a BUM.
Male: That’s harsh.
Female: But it’s truth isn’t it? Reality is harsh.
Male: I’ll make a comeback. I always do. I’m in school now at USC, getting a different degree, learning different things. Opportunities will open up for me, you’ll see.
Female: What I see is someone who has, god what is that odd little phrase my mother used to always use, “fallen from grace”. Only you didn’t just fall from grace, you devolved backwards into something very unrecognizable.
Male: Life is a learning experience. We are all here to learn different things, new things. Give me a chance. Look, you loved me once before. Okay, maybe that was a long time ago, but you did love me once. And it was real, very real.
Female: I know it was real, I was there remember. And our souls talked to each other again last night, and it was like coming home after a very long journey. But it’s different. I’ve changed, you’ve changed. I’ve gone forward by leaps and bounds, and you. I don’t know where you’ve gone, I don’t where you’ve been, and I definitely don’t want to be where you are now.
Male: But we can make it work, I know we can. You're not feeling me. You're not feeling me at all.
Female: You're right. I don't feel you and I don't want to feel you. How long before the demons come? How long before you’re hanging out at the bar more than you’re at home with me? How long before you find redemption and forgetfulness at the Temple of Glenlivet.
Male: I told you that part of my life is all over. I’m on the wagon now. For good.
Female: Every alcoholic falls off the wagon, now and again. They’ve done studies.
Male: Not me. I told you I’m committed to changing my life. Besides, I did my time at Harbor Justice. I went to AA meetings. I was even an AA meeting leader for chrissakes. Doesn’t that tell you I’ve changed?
Female: And when was the last time you had a forty?
Male: Last night as a matter of fact. I can drink beer. I just can’t drink the hard stuff.
Female: Did you announce that in your AA meeting? Hi! I’m an alcoholic and I can still chug a 40.
Male: I don’t need those meetings anymore. I told you I’m sober and I’m going to stay that way.
Female: You know what, you’re right. You haven’t changed. You’re still the same stupid jerk I fell in love with, what centuries ago, only this time I’ve changed and I’m not about to fall for your Mr. Genius BS logic. You know what your problem is. You were always just a little too smart for you own good. But if you were so smart, how the hell did you get a double DUI in the first place? You know what, forget it. I’m out of here. It was fun, it was real, and I still love you. You were definitely right about that. But I’m not going to do this anymore. I’m not going to listen to you and your messed up mind twist me and my life around again. You had your chance with me, and you know what, you blew it, yet again.
Male: You can’t just walk out on me.
Female: Oh yeah, watch me.
Male: You’ll be back. You’re like a boomerang, you always come back.
Female: Not this time, babe, not this time.
Male: Fine. Then leave. You know what, I’m going to do you one better. I don’t want you to ever call me again. I’m going to break up with you first.
Female: Whatever.
(Female picks up bag and leaves the room slamming the door behind her. Male sits there with a stunned expression on his face. Male gets up walks to the kitchen, opens the refrigerator door, pops open a 40 oz of beer and starting chugging.)
This fictional conversation between a male and a female flowed out of me this afternoon. I think it will make for an interesting scene in a future play.
**********************************
Female: You know I used to really think you were something some back in the day. God, you were amazing … but l mean, look at you now.
Male: People change, priorities change, life makes you change.
Female: NO! Not like this, not like you.
Male: I’m still the same person underneath.
Female: No, you’re not. You were strong, you were invincible, you were like Russell Crowe in that gladiatior movie, you could unleash hell.
Male: I still can if I want to.
Female: Unleash what? you can barely pay your rent, you don’t even have health insurance. OH MY GOD, you’re like a, like a BUM.
Male: That’s harsh.
Female: But it’s truth isn’t it? Reality is harsh.
Male: I’ll make a comeback. I always do. I’m in school now at USC, getting a different degree, learning different things. Opportunities will open up for me, you’ll see.
Female: What I see is someone who has, god what is that odd little phrase my mother used to always use, “fallen from grace”. Only you didn’t just fall from grace, you devolved backwards into something very unrecognizable.
Male: Life is a learning experience. We are all here to learn different things, new things. Give me a chance. Look, you loved me once before. Okay, maybe that was a long time ago, but you did love me once. And it was real, very real.
Female: I know it was real, I was there remember. And our souls talked to each other again last night, and it was like coming home after a very long journey. But it’s different. I’ve changed, you’ve changed. I’ve gone forward by leaps and bounds, and you. I don’t know where you’ve gone, I don’t where you’ve been, and I definitely don’t want to be where you are now.
Male: But we can make it work, I know we can. You're not feeling me. You're not feeling me at all.
Female: You're right. I don't feel you and I don't want to feel you. How long before the demons come? How long before you’re hanging out at the bar more than you’re at home with me? How long before you find redemption and forgetfulness at the Temple of Glenlivet.
Male: I told you that part of my life is all over. I’m on the wagon now. For good.
Female: Every alcoholic falls off the wagon, now and again. They’ve done studies.
Male: Not me. I told you I’m committed to changing my life. Besides, I did my time at Harbor Justice. I went to AA meetings. I was even an AA meeting leader for chrissakes. Doesn’t that tell you I’ve changed?
Female: And when was the last time you had a forty?
Male: Last night as a matter of fact. I can drink beer. I just can’t drink the hard stuff.
Female: Did you announce that in your AA meeting? Hi! I’m an alcoholic and I can still chug a 40.
Male: I don’t need those meetings anymore. I told you I’m sober and I’m going to stay that way.
Female: You know what, you’re right. You haven’t changed. You’re still the same stupid jerk I fell in love with, what centuries ago, only this time I’ve changed and I’m not about to fall for your Mr. Genius BS logic. You know what your problem is. You were always just a little too smart for you own good. But if you were so smart, how the hell did you get a double DUI in the first place? You know what, forget it. I’m out of here. It was fun, it was real, and I still love you. You were definitely right about that. But I’m not going to do this anymore. I’m not going to listen to you and your messed up mind twist me and my life around again. You had your chance with me, and you know what, you blew it, yet again.
Male: You can’t just walk out on me.
Female: Oh yeah, watch me.
Male: You’ll be back. You’re like a boomerang, you always come back.
Female: Not this time, babe, not this time.
Male: Fine. Then leave. You know what, I’m going to do you one better. I don’t want you to ever call me again. I’m going to break up with you first.
Female: Whatever.
(Female picks up bag and leaves the room slamming the door behind her. Male sits there with a stunned expression on his face. Male gets up walks to the kitchen, opens the refrigerator door, pops open a 40 oz of beer and starting chugging.)
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