Is it like totally weird that one of my ex-boyfriends has his own entry in Wikipedia? I knew there was a reason I named him "the one that got away".

I had a dream about him last night where I was kissing his neck and it tasted very salty!

Men are like so dang emotional! I can't stand it! There's this guy at work, the one I took a two-hour coffee break with a couple of weeks ago, and he is like so mad at me. I don't want to work for him, and I have been avoiding not telling him because I hate conflict. So tonight there was like an Octoberfest outing for his group that I got invited to, and I went thinking I could talk to him. Big Mistake! It was not the right time and place and there were way too many people, and I got so triggered so I like flirted with whoever was sitting next to me and this guy like gave me the evil eye the whole time. God I hate that!

Okay, I know the guy is mad at me because I haven't fessed up to him that I don't want to interview for a position in his department, but does he like have to give me the evil eye at a company outing. I was only going to stay for one beer and instead ended up drinking three beers, and finally I couldn't stand it and had to tell him on the way out that I needed to talk to him.

How dang awkward! Oh my god! I'm not his fiance and I don't need him being all mad at me because I'm too chicken to talk to him and tell him that I don't want to work for him. He wants to talk to me in person and so I'm going to have to take him to lunch next week and break the news to him, like he doesn't already know that I don't want to work for him. What a bother!

But I totally like this guy and he's like a soul mate and everything, and if maybe things were really different and he wasn't like that much younger than me and not spiritual, I might go for it somehow. But god! The guy has got a fiance whom he totally loves, but for whatever reason the guy totally loves talking to me and we can talk to each forever and feel like there's no one else in the world but the two of us. It's a weird situation and I can't deal with weird right now.

But I guess he has a right to be mad at me because I'm like such a wuss, so I'll take him to lunch next week and face the music and hopefully salvage our friendship.

So like I am wondering if I should torture myself again and do the National Novel Writing Month. I was so good in 2001, 2002, and 2003. I failed in 2004, and completely skipped it in 2005.

It's such a great exercise for a writer to see what your capacities are for novel production. Lessons I've learned:

I can write every day, but it is very challenging with a full-time job.

I can only write for 2-hours at a time and then I burn out.

I can do three writing segments with each segment lasting 2 hours, if I have a 1-2 hour break in between each segment.

Four writing segments is way too much for me. I tried but I couldn't do it.

I need to write with an outline with the story loosely plotted out, otherwise I will get lost and take detours and spend hours writing about one thing.

What a busy weekend! Missy L and I and her mom drove down to Pacific Grove to a seminar on Soulmates, and then we went to my favorite restaurnat "Fishwife". After lunch we walked to Asilomar Beach and hung out It was a beautiful day and there was a ton of people at the beach. The weather was so gorgeous!

Then we took a drive around 17 mile drive. The waves were so picture post card perfect, breaking at around 2-4 ft which is great for those beaches. The light was hitting everything at an incredible angle and everything just looked so beautiful.

We drove back on 1 and stopped at a veggie stand. Missy L bought a cinderella pumpkin and brussel sprouts. I bought 5 just picked artichokes for 50 cents.

Then we stopped at this new restaurant in Half Moon Bay called Red Ginger. a new pan asian fusion restaurant that just opened six months ago. The food was delicately flavored and pretty amazing. We were pretty darn impressed and definitely want to go back. They had fun japanese vodka maritinis. I had something called a "rose petal martinini, which we think was vodka and rose water. I loved it. Missy L had tangretini, which was like a tangerine flavored martini and her mom had something called a "geisha girl martini". The restaurants also served flights, which are three small glasses of either red or white wine. Flights are great if you're into a little mini wine tasting.

All in all it was fun day. And I can't believe the Red Ginger restaurant had a whole menu of vodka martinis, and not gin martinis which I abhor. The smell of gin makes me woof my cookies, which is kind of sad since I used to drink gin straight out of the bottle like any proper flapper girl. It's what always happens when you abuse something for too long. I totally abused my gin drinking in college and now cannot absolutely stand the smell of it.

I've been drinking vodka martinis since my first love introduced them to me in a bar in Washington DC the semester I was interning there. God I remeber that night like it was yesterday, which is shocking since I think I drank about 7 VMs. I hadn't seen MN since he transferred to Oberlin the year before and it was just so cool that he was still in town when I landed in DC. Had I known he was going to be home in Bethesda Maryland, I wouldn't have stopped in New York for a few days before flying down to DC.

Wow, talk about regrets. I used to think I had very few regrets but I so regret not going to DC right away. If I had gone early maybe MN and I would have gotten to know each other intimately, instead of my roommate walking in on us just was were getting really comfortable. Talk about a spoilt moment and a wasted opportunity. He was leaving to go back to Oberlin the next day. We would never have a moment like that again.

Oh well, probably just as well we didn't. MN was such a soulmate, but I think he was only supposed to be a non-romantic soul mate and not a romantic one. He was my best friend in college my freshman year. We did just about everything together but that. I still remember MN telling me once "if you can't trust me, who can you trust?"

Okay, I know it was probably all for the better but it's making me cry all the same. I'm also listening to the song "Too little, too late" by JoJo that I just bought from iTunes, so maybe that has something to do with the tears.

I did have a weird dream about my first love a couple of weeks ago. I haven't had a dream about him in years. God, I hope he's safe and sound and alright. He's like some president of some organization right now in New Jersey.

MN was the standard I used to measure all my boyfriends in my 20's. MN was so cool! He was the I think, the number one singles player in Maryland in high school tennis, was first violin chair in his school orchestra, he had his pilot's license, he was smart and so darned cute, and he played a damned good bass on his Rickenbacker. I still remember the time he played one of Rachmaninoff's piano concerto for me. I mean how bizarrely romantic is that!

I know it's way too late for us, but he's my first love, my soulmate, and we finished our karma together in this lifetime, which makes him so special for me. I would have converted for him back then if we had gone in that direction. But it's way too late for all that.

Today was supposed to be a day to wish for what you want. I read several articles about the "cosmic trigger event".

So I thought about what kind of guy I would want and came up with the following:

red-hair, spiritual, surfs, played college football, earring, lives in the SF Bay area, connection to Hawaii, lots of light, no addictions, my universal soul partner and soul mate.

And then I'm like thinking, in my wildest fbombing dreams!

Took a weekend trip with two girlfriends to attend a seminar in Sacramento, so now today at work I'm exhausted. We rented a huge suite and shared a room, so it was like a slumber party except we were all adults.

One of my friends love to gamble, so we went to Thunder Valley Casino every night and gambled and drank. Our hotel had happy hour every night and we each got two free drink tickets, so we started partying right after the seminar. It was cool though because then we got to socialize with people from the seminar outside of class.

I even got a Thunder Valley Casino travel mug and card. Gambling is entertaining if you can make your money last. It's a fun way to kill a couple of hours if you're with friends because we sit around and watch one person play and laugh and cheer if the person is winning.

We even had to go to Thunder Valley for lunch on Monday, because they had a sign that sais "Best buffet in a casino in California".

But I am so tired now. I had to come in to work early for an 8 am meeting, and I was planning to leave early but there's a division meeting this afternoon and I guess I have to attend.

And my week is not over yet. I'm going to meet my writing group for drinks tonight. Wednesday is my writing get together day. Thursday I have a massage appointment, and on Friday I have to get ready to go to Monterey to go to another seminar on Saturday.

Missy L and I are thinking we might stay at Esalen on Saturday night, but it's still all up in the air.

I love being busy but I am looking forward to quiet weekend alone!

This has been a good year for meeting new girl friends. I am becoming very good friends with this project manager that I was assigned to work with, in fact we are going away next weekend to Monterey to take a seminar on soulmates.

Missy L is so fun! She's a USC grad and has direct TV so she can watch USC football games. She's so lucky because her dad bought her this huge flat screen TV for her house. Nice dad huh? He also bought her this cute Rolex watch that I love.

She had an amazing spiritual experience when she went to Argentina over the summer, and when she was telling me about it as we were driving to a meeting I told her "now I know why we get along so well, you are spiritual. I only get along really well with spiritual people."

She has the cutest house in San Francisco in my old neighborhood. I am so jealous that she is a homeowner in San Francisco, and in a damn fine neighborhood too. She said she only got it because she bought a house in Menlo Park years ago and sold it when market was hot.

She's like from Long Beach and very tall, and she reminds me of what they used to call the "LA Poodle" stereotype. She's going a mile a minute, has kind of big hair, is very bouncy and laughs and laughs. She loves to wear fur and high heels, even though she probably is over 6 ft when she wears her heels.

We drove to a meeting in Sacramento together last month and then went shopping at Costco, Ross' and some carpet place that she wanted to check out afterwards. We just had so much fun, but I think she got bummed because she wanted to stop at a wine place and grab a couple glasses of wine but I had to go home to meet friends.

We were at a vendor conference together about a couple of months ago, and we drank way too many glasses of wine which was so much fun. We had way too many glasses the night before as well because there was a cocktail party before the conference. She is a hoot when she drinks too much.

She's got the cutest pomeranian dog who is quite friendly, and made me want a rat dog for a first time my life. Pomeranians are so fluffy and loving.

I want my own house in San Francisco and a dog!

I have this guy friend at work Mr. CE and we've been chatting off and on since March, and he is so cool! He is one of those rare guys who I can talk to for ages and ages and never realize how much time is actually passing. The conversation is just so amazing and you're so engrossed in each other that it's like no one else is around.

Like take Monday for example. We went out to get coffee together to talk about some work stuff and we were only supposed to be gone for 30 minutes. It was so weird because it didn't even seen like that much time had gone by, but we were gone from the office for 2 hours. Talk about a heck of a long coffee break.

Mr. CE is soooo cool! He has an MBA from U of Michigan and is so smart. Okay, the boy is much younger than me but is just the bomb! A friend at work thinks he is too intense, kind of nerdy and talks way too much, but I don't think so.

I think we were soulmates in another life, and it's so cool that we met at work. I am so impressed with Mr. CE's intelligence. He's the smartest guy I've met since my friend Brian from Texas in 1999. He's got tons of integrity too, which is so rare in guys these days.

But can Mr. CE eat! We went out for lunch last Friday and it was my turn to pay, so I took him to this great dim-sum place and I almost died when I got the bill for lunch which was about $70 something. He offered to pay for some of lunch, but I told him not to worry.

It's just weird how we can gab and gab and never run out of things to say or talk about, and time flies by so fast and I never notice anyone else in the room. I think there could a gun battle going on and we wouldn't even know it.

I don't know about you, but there is something very amusing about researchers giving mice California cabernet sauvignon. The questions I have are: 1) what was the brand? 2) how many points from wine spectator? 3) cost?


A glass a day: Cabernet Sauvignon may help ward off Alzheimer's disease (from The Advisory Board - News for Healthcare Executives, Sept 26, 2006)

A first-of-its-kind study by New York City-based Mount Sinai School of Medicine researchers appears to support the suspicion that a glass or two of red wine daily lowers the risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease, WebMD reports. For the study—to be presented at next month’s Society for Neuroscience meeting in Atlanta—researchers investigated the impact of California-grown Cabernet Sauvignon on 11-month-old transgenic mice that possessed genes that govern amyloid-beta protein production, which has been linked to brain plaque in Alzheimer’s patients. The mice were given water “spiked with red wine,” water mixed with ethanol, or plain water and allowed to consume as much as they liked for seven months, at which point they were placed in a maze and left to find their way out. Researchers found that mice in the red wine cohort fared the best and also had the lowest levels of amyloid-beta. The researchers say that although the findings offer no “direct experimental evidence” of red wine’s protective effect, the study may help guide future disease prevention efforts. —WebMD/CBS News, 9/20

I miss going to football games. It's been years since I've gone and I really, really miss it. I've been to Sunday games, Thursday night games and Monday night games. They are so much fun. It's just such a slog to get home.

There is nothing like the excitement of a close football game!

There is really no privacy on the internet, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

I know what my ex's are doing, at least the ones who are posting their lives on the internet. I found an ex on myspace. How bizarre is that? And being the natural investigator that I am, I looked read through the comments on his profile and the comments he made on his friend's myspace profiles and found out what the guy's been doing for the past year.

Of course, my ex's could read about my life if they about my blog but I try to keep that part of my life private. And if they did stumble across my blog accidentally, at least it's impersonal enough I think for someone to not know it's me.

In other more happy news, the Oakland A's have beat their first round curse and have made it to the American League Championship Series. Go A's!

And the 49ers beat the Raiders in today's Battle of the Bay. Go Niners!

So North Korea had a nuclear test tonight, and a news commentator remarked "our world has changed overnight." Do you think it's true? Is this another 9/11?

My prediction about the automakers unloading their retirees to Medicare is sadly coming true.

From Kaiser's Daily Health Policy Report:
Ford Motor, as part of an effort to reduce costs, will offer 75,000 hourly workers buyout packages, some of which will include the loss of health and pension benefits, the Washington Post reports. According to United Auto Workers summary, Ford will offer eight early retirement and buyout packages to workers that range from $35,000 to $140,000, based on seniority and age. Workers have from Oct. 16 through Nov. 27 to consider the buyout packages, and those who accept the highest buyout packages will lose health and pension benefits. Ford also will offer as much as $15,000 annually in tuition assistance for workers who decide to attend two- or four-year college programs. Workers who accept the assistance will retain health and other benefits during their time in the college programs. Ford declined to comment on details of buyout packages. According to the Post, Ford and other U.S. automakers, "reeling from global competition and high gasoline prices, have initiated massive programs to slash costs." Last year, Ford entered an agreement with UAW that for the first time will require union retirees to pay monthly premiums and annual deductibles for health benefits (Freeman, Washington Post, 9/15).

Yes, I am still around but work has been crazy these last few weeks and I've been tired to write anything in my blog. I've been however busily taking notes on my next novel, and I think I am almost ready to start writing it.

This will be Book 1 of my elfgirl series, which I've renamed to "The Elf Chronicles". Oh well, no elf girl because my new writing partner said I was alienating boys from reading the story.

The title of Book 1 will be "The Price of the Future". I've got so many notes, and I think I have the plot almost all fleshed out.

I write with my new writing partner every Wednesday. We eat, and then go to her place and seriously write for an hour. We've been doing it all September, although now we're thinking of changing the day to maybe Tuesday and adding another day.

On the weekends, I've been going to the coffee house to write or type up my notes. And now this week I've gone back to working out.

What else? Oh yeah, I am job hunting again. I applied to six jobs last Tuesday, and have gotten two call backs this week. I had one phone screening interview today only to find out the job doesn't pay what I make. Oh well.

I had another screening interview right afterwards, and again found out they don't pay what I make but the woman said she was going to try and see what she could do. I'm not hopeful because it's a small place, but I told them I'd like to interview anyway. I need to start practicing my interviewing skills.

This job that I may interview at is going to administer the health plan that Mayor Gavin Newsom is proposing for residents of San Francisco. It's an exciting opportunity I think, and I would take a lateral to work for this place. I am still a firm believer in socialized medicine and would love to work for a company that is involved in bringing it to San Francisco residents.

OH NO! My liberal streak is showing! Yikes ....