So I turned down the Deacon nomination for church. I came to the conclusion that my opinions are just too different from many of the members on the Deacon Board, and I didn't want to be stressed out having to either defend my opinions or keeping silent about them.

It's only going to get worse in the next three years as well. My church is going through the same thing as the Anglican/Episcopalian church, although we are not quite up to their level yet.

I know I will not support any actions that will split my church from the greater national body. My church did it once for slavery and split the denomination in two, but slavery was a different issue than the ones the mainstream protestant churches are facing right now.

I think I am going to catch a ton of flak for what I did, because I felt the need to explain myself to the person who called for the nomination. I think I will test the old adage of "honesty is the best policy".

I feel fatalistic about this whole issue right now. If I have to leave my church I will. Our sister church has been trying to recruit me for years, and they have a huge membership. It's terrible to think like this, but I don't care.

I hate that my church is becoming like the rest of the country, partisan, intolerant and politically correct. They never used to be that way. My church used to welcome everyone, and tried to stay on the middle ground on issues. But like the rest of the country and I think the world, lines are being drawn in the sand which makes it hell for anyone who likes the middle path.

My life is stressful enough without having the added burden of an ideological political fight happening in my church, and me being in the middle of it.

I ran across a article by a published author, Alex Keegan on writing and rewriting, and here's his take on writing:

"Becoming a writer is harder! I think it was Ray Bradbury who said we need to write at least a million words just to make it to the foothills. Seems like a lot? Not really. 3,000 words a day for a year or 1,000 words a day for three years and you're home free. What d'you mean it sounds tough? It IS tough!

Presume that one million words is a real goal. Write 300 words a day, every day, never miss, and nine years from now, you'll be able to write. That is WRITE, that is, as someone once wrote, you will have eaten your technique, absorbed it until it's in your blood, so that HOW to express your thoughts will be semi-automatic.

And now an old piece of OK advice -- write at least fifty short stories before you embark on a novel, do exercises, snippets, try rewriting great short stories or novel openings, experiment with poetry, flash-fiction, writing to tough word-limits. Burn off the obvious, the commonplace, the too-closely autobiographical stuff early on. (Writing shorts does this). You will learn so much and still be creating pieces worth submitting. "

50 stories! I was so bummed out when I read this. To see where I was on the 50 story scale, I went through my writing filebox which contains a gloriously unsorted morass of writing class notes and assignments since Spring 1998. That's about 5 years worth of paper mind you, for 6 writing classes and a number of one day writing seminars.

Here's my list in no particular order:

1. Playing Catch with Dad – screenplay
2. Spooning with my mother – short story
3. The Crow Priestess – unfinished novel
4. The Taste of Ice Cream – short story
5. Crazy Eddie – short story
6. Following in the Dark – unfinished novel
7. Art is Scary – short story written for performance
8. Bare Trees in Winter – unfinished play
9. Going Home Again – unfinished screenplay
10. Time and Distance – short story
11. Rodeo Spurs on My Heart – short story
12. Mother’s Heart Shaped Diamond Pendant – short story
13. Holding Hands in the Desert – short story
14. Past Connections Lost – flash fiction
15. Are you mad for it? – short story
16. The Princess who lost her voice – fairy tale
17. Princess Sushmita – fairy tale
18. The Forest of Forgetfulness – fairy tale
19. Kim and the Boys on the Beach – short story
20. Maggie and the Crying Freeman – flash fiction
21. A Hot Day in Dallas – short story
22. Theatre Audition: Five Minutes to Strut Your Stuff – essay
23. Dating Your Best’s Friend Ex – short story
24. Rules of Dating – monologue written for performance
25. Baseball was my Life – short story
26. The Secret Playboy Subscription – short story
27. Clasped Hands in the Desert – short story
28. 9/11 Remembrance - published on SFGate.com

Shock of shocks! I was so surprised that I managed to crank out 28 pieces. I think there might be more, but that's all I could find in the box.

I feel a little better now. So what, 12 more short stories and maybe I'll be able to finish a novel.

I heard a bunch of girls saying on the train today, on the way to the dentist for yet another crown adjustment, that they were going to watch the Yankees/Redsox game tonight because of "the fight".

The girls loved the drama of the fight. They so got into watching Don Zimmer cry in some press conference. They loved the melodrama of the whole baseball game, and now they want to see it through to the end.

I guess there's nothing like real life controversy and melodrama to get people to watch TV, and for women to watch a sporting event, huh?

JC is calling me to service. I just received a call from my church's nominating committee telling me I was nominated to be a deacon.

I was a deacon before, and it was tough. I took it so seriously, too seriously, humorlessly actually, that after awhile I hated doing it.

I never felt like I was doing a great job, although my parishioners said I was doing a great job.

My screenwriting teacher told me I have very high standards for myself, and some of them were very unreasonable. She's right, I do. But I know myself and I've seen myself when I've been very productive.

But maybe I need to change those high standards a little bit, because I also suffer from burnout constantly. I'm productive and then I burn out, and lately the burn out periods are lasting longer than the productive periods.

Maybe it's better that I work constantly, do a little bit every day, and for longer periods of time. Maybe I won't get burn out and feel consumed, and out of balance with my life. I could still have my high standards, but they'll be adjusted for the long haul.

I haven't decided about the deacon thing; it's a three-year commitment. I do feel called to serve, and my church needs more people to be involved right now.

In the past when I've had a lot on my plate, I became very good at scheduling my time. I was forced to because of the activities I was involved in. I'm thinking if I'm forced to become more efficient with my time usage, maybe I'll get better at scheduling time to write.

I have more time now, and I still can't come up with a consistent writing schedule. I'm willing to try anything right now.

I just watched "The Passion" trailer, which is the new Jesus movie by Mel Gibson. It was very graphic and it made me weep. It's like all those years of having to do stations of the cross at easter came back and I was in tears and so upset at JC being whipped, beated and crucified.

I felt like I was an overly hormonal 13 year old again, crying night after night over JC being crucified, and wondering how could people could be so cruel.

I still don't get it, the cruelty, mean thing. I see it all the time in people I know, it's very subtle but it's there. People crucify each other every day, and for no good reason. I don't understand it, even though I know I've done it myself.

My problem is, I know when I'm being intentionally mean and I feel bad about it for a long time. It's like I've crucified Christ when I'm mean to someone, and it freaks me out and makes me think if I was there, what would I have been shouting? Crucify him or have mercy on him? I can't honestly say what I would have said.

My new favorite term, "tush hog". While watching the Pittsburg/Denver football game, Phil Simms started talking to Greg Gumbel about a "tush hog", which is a football player with a huge behind. This wonderful asset apparently comes in handy for certain types of plays in the red zone.

I'm glad the big behind on a guy comes in handy for something because most women I know cannot stand a man with a huge bum, and will so make fun of it all the time. No bubble butts allowed except on the football field.

I went to see the movie Luther on Saturday. Only for Martin Luther would I pay full price for a movie.

I loved the movie! It starred the beautiful Joseph Fiennes, who played Shakespeare in "Shakespeare in Love" and Robert Dudlely, Earl of Leicester in Elizabeth.

And for Colin Firth fans, the movie also featured his brother Jonathan Firth. Who knew he had a brother? He looks alot like Colin, but not as cute.

I got so caught up in the movie, when Luther was on trial for heresy at Worms, I wanted to shout "No, don't recant, don't! The fate of modern western civlization depends on you!"

Here's the new 2-cd set I bought today from Virgin Records, Cocktail Hour: Dinah Washington. She's got such a great voice!

I've always had this fantasy of being a cocktail lounge singer, with a fabbie smoky dreamy voice, wearing some slinky figure hugging tight dress, and lying on a piano and singing some bluesy sad jazz song like "I've sold my heart to the junk man and I'll never fall in love again."

I went to the dentist this afternoon so he could put a new crown in. My jaw really hurts now. It doesn't matter how much they numb you up, all that poking of your gums still hurts for a long time afterwards.

Since my dentist's office is near Union Square, I went to the MAC counter at Macy's to buy some lipstick. Those MAC girls at the counter are so scary looking. They wear their makeup like they're trying to mimic a Christian Dior model in the ads I've seen in the high fashion glossy magazines.

What looks great on a model in a Chrstian Dior advert, sadly looks horrid close up in real life, especially on women who don't have model cheekbones or faces.

Those girls are doing MAC cosmetics such a disservice. I'd be afraid to buy makeup or having someone put make up on me who looked like these girls. They are truly frightening.

Someone needs to clue them in that the heroin waif look only looks good on actual heroin addicts from NYC or fashion models, and not on suburb girls who look they appreciate the taste of donuts way too much. That, and the herion addict clown waif look is just darn old.

It's the year 2003 ladies, time to move on to the next fashion trend. It's like seeing women wearing those black leather backpacks. God, that look is so over done, so tired, so old and so K-mart!

Those noisy Blue Angels are back and buzzing around the Bay for Fleet Week San Francisco.

This is one of the few times I wish I had a bay view instead of my beloved ocean view, but it doesn't matter I guess because I just saw two of them do a turn from the bedroom window.

I love the colour of the planes, all bright blue and yellow. The best spot to see them is from a high rise office building in downtown San Francisco. I swear those planes fly through the building just to scare people.

I did some google research, and searched through the US Senate's website and found the following substantiating The Economist's claim about republican senator Orrin Hatch.

Proposing an amendment to the Constitution of the United States to make eligible for the Office of President a person who has been a United States citizen for 20 years. (Introduced in Senate)

The bill was introduced by Senator Hatch on July 10, 2003. Arnold Schwarznegger became a US citizen in 1983, so if this amendment passes he will be eligible to be elected as president of the country.

The Economist's take on Arnold's victory, Hasta la vista, Davis.

Here's the scary part of The Economist's story:

"Should he succeed in taming the state’s grim finances, some Republicans may begin to dream of Mr Schwarzenegger following in Mr Reagan’s footsteps all the way to the White House. Having been born outside America, Mr Schwarzenegger is constitutionally barred from the presidency. However, that could change if Congress were to pass a constitutional amendment now being proposed by Orrin Hatch, a Republican senator."

I heard a rumor on the Net a couple of days ago about Hatch and this new constitutional amendment, but it looks like the rumor is true.

I finally finished reading Charles Frazier's "Cold Mountain". I really liked it, although the ending of the book disturbed me for awhile.

I have a bad habit of reading the ending of any book I'm reading before I finish it. It's horrible to do, and I tried to stop myself with "Cold Mountain" but I couldn't do it.

When I read the ending first I was so bummed out, but when I finally finished the book the ending made more sense and seemed more logical. Still, I don't much care for the ending of "Cold Mountain".

A movie based on the book starrring Jude Law and Nicole Kidman is supposed to be coming out in December, and Charles Frazier reportedly received millions to write a sequel.

Even Jim Rome of the radio program "The Jungle" and the ESPN's "Rome is Burning" is shocked and disgruntled about Arnold becoming governor of the world's fifth largest economy.

Yeah Jim Rome!

I read somewhere on the Net that in the movie "Demolition Man" with Sylvester Stallone, the characters said that Arnold became governor of California and then president of the USA.

That movie was made about 10 years ago, and I wonder if the Arnie as governor of Cali is really in the movie. I saw the movie, but I don't remember that part.

Well, at least I voted like most of the the voters of the city and county of San Francisco; 80.4% voted No on The Recall.

I am surprised by how high the percentage is, but it makes me feel good about the city that I call my home.

In fact, all the nine counties of the San Francisco Bay Area voted No on The Recall. The city and county of Los Angeles voted No on The Recall as well. Yeah LA!

I think I'm starting on a Hong Kong kung fu action movie kick. Last week I went to the video store and rented Iron Monkey.

What a great flick! "Iron Monkey was directed and choreographed by Yuen Wo Ping, who choreographed the fight scenes for "The Matrix" and "Crounching Tiger, Hidden Dragon".

I grew up watching and loving hong kong kung fu action movies, since my parents were fans and I went to the movie theatre with them. I don't think they were into the "let's shield the kid from violent movies" type of parenting. It's either that or they couldn't get or afford babysitting.

But then again, they also loved "The Three Stooges" and we always watched them when they were on television. A friend of mine just told me that most women don't like The Three Stooges" because they were too violent.

Were they violent? I thought they were a scream! They were always poking and beating up on each other, but in a brotherly and silly way which was very, very comical.

Iron Monkey reminded me so much of movies I watched as a child. It definitely resembled old hong kong kung fu action movies. And there wasn't any of that fake flying stuff like "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", which was a hong kong kung fu action movie dumbed down and made for american audiences.

Iron Monkey delivered great street fighting action scenes, and lots of old style shaolin kung fu with more emphasis on technique instead of acrobatics.

I also rented Bulletproof Monk with Chow Yun-Fat, just to see what that movie is about.

Now I want to rent more kung fu movies! They are so much, and they remind me of my childhood. Maybe I'll see if I can rent a Three Stooges video as well, just to see if I still like them or if I'll think now that I'm older that they were violent.

Do people now think that Laurel and Hardy were violent as well? Hardy was always hitting Laurel. Those guys were so darn funny!

I was getting caught up on reading all my favourite blogs, when I read on Carol's Chaotic Collection on Curiousities that eggplant has more nicotine than any other vegetable.

Is this why I love and crave eggplant? Because it has nicotine? How shocking! I've been trying to figure out for awhile now why I crave eggplant, and I do crave it. I used to smoke ciggies, so maybe I'm just craving nicotine and somehow my body knew that eggplant has nicotine because my mind sure as heck didn't.

Eggplant has nicotine ... I'm still so shocked!

Just filled out my absentee ballot, and will take it down to the polling place in awhile.

I voted No on the Recall, No on 53, and No on 54, and for insurance I voted Yes for Cruz Bustamante. I almost protest voted for Tom McClintock but I could feel my dead dad, a dyed in the wool union democrat freaking out, so I let that feeling pass.

If The Terminator gets in, we wouldn't be the first state to put someone like him in office. Minnesota voted Jesse Ventura, the wrestler, as their governor a few years ago. Ventura turned out to be a lame duck governor.

I think it will be an interesting dilemma for the GOP party in California if Arnold gets in. Are they going to change their social platform because Arnie is a RINO (republican in name only) after all? There are no other republicans in the state with Arnie's moderate social views. If this was a regular election, Arnold wouldn't even had won a statewide GOP primary and everybody knows that.

Cali is a weird state though. It's so huge and hard to poll. In the 2000 election, the pollsters kept saying up until election day that Bush would win the state and they were so wrong. I mean wrong, big time!

If Arnold gets in, then people in Cali have gotten desperate and are willing to give the other party a try. My birth state, who I never thought would ever elect a republican governor, did so. Hawaii is so democrat, it's the only state that voted for McGovern in 1972.

But the demise of the Japanese economy and a few natural disasters wreaked the state's economy, and after many years of recession voters had enough and voted the republicans in.

Cali might be in a similar state. I don't know. We'll find out.

I just read a post on a bulletin board that said the world must be coming to an end because the Cubs and the Red Sox are in the post season?

For their long suffering fans, it's about time they have their teams end up as winners.

Now if the Cubs and the Redsox are in the world series, then what? It's really going to be the end of the world then.