An unexpected economic effect of the war on terrorism -
No terrorism insurance bill risks property bonds. I wonder how the economy will be affected if Moody's, Fitch and Standard and Poor's downgrades these bonds.
S. Brenda Elfgirl - I was told I am an elf in a parallel life, and I live in the Arizona desert exploring what this means. I've had this blog for a while and I write about the things that interest me. My spiritual teacher told me that my journey in life is about balancing "the perfect oneness of a sweetness heart and the effulgent soul". My inner and outer lives are like parallel lines that will one day meet, but only when there is a new way of thinking. Read on as I try to find the balance.
Thank you for viewing / reading my blog posts! I appreciate it!
Saturday, September 28, 2002
This one is quite funny! Where's the one for San Francisco?
Subject: NEW CALIFORNIA DMV TEST
For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California,
here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who
do, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and
culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that the
California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special
application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan
Area.
GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:
Name:___________________ Stage name: ____________________
Agent:___________________
Attorney:______________________
Therapist name:_________________
Sex: ___male ___female* ___formerly male ___formerly female ____both *If
female, indicate breast implant size: _______
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a
motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___
Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
*If you don't own a cell phone, please explain:________________________
Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead
Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that
apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[ ] Snorting cocaine (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / Reloading
Please indicate how many times
a) you expect to shoot at other drivers _____
b) how many times you expect to be shot at while driving _____
If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
a) Call the police to report the crime.
b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the
news in a high-speed chase.
c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company
for 911 call not going through.
d) Call your therapist.
In the event of an earthquake, you should :
a) stop your car
b) keep driving and hope for the best.
c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.
In the instance of rain, you should:
a) never drive over 5 MPH.
b) drive twice as fast as usual.
c) you're not sure what "rain" is.
Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ______.
Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
a) Prozac
b) Zovirax
c) Lithium
d) Zanax
e) Valium
f) Zoloft
g) All of the above
h) None of the above
*If none, please explain: __________________.
Length of daily commute:
a) Less than 1 hour
b) 1 hour
c) 2 hours
d) 3 hours
e) 4 hours or more
* If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.
When stopped by police, you should:
a) pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready. b)
try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 Freeway. c) have
your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring
yourself of a hefty lawsuit.
When turning, you should always signal your intentions by: a) using your
directional signals.
b) what is a "directional signal"?
Which part of your car will wear out most often?
a) the wiper blades
b) the belts
c) the horn
The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
a) dark, poorly lit roads
b) flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
c) revenge!
Your rear view mirror is for:
a) watching for approaching cars
b) watching for approaching police cars
c) checking your hair
Subject: NEW CALIFORNIA DMV TEST
For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California,
here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who
do, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and
culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that the
California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special
application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan
Area.
GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:
Name:___________________ Stage name: ____________________
Agent:___________________
Attorney:______________________
Therapist name:_________________
Sex: ___male ___female* ___formerly male ___formerly female ____both *If
female, indicate breast implant size: _______
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a
motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___
Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
*If you don't own a cell phone, please explain:________________________
Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead
Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that
apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[ ] Snorting cocaine (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / Reloading
Please indicate how many times
a) you expect to shoot at other drivers _____
b) how many times you expect to be shot at while driving _____
If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
a) Call the police to report the crime.
b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the
news in a high-speed chase.
c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company
for 911 call not going through.
d) Call your therapist.
In the event of an earthquake, you should :
a) stop your car
b) keep driving and hope for the best.
c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.
In the instance of rain, you should:
a) never drive over 5 MPH.
b) drive twice as fast as usual.
c) you're not sure what "rain" is.
Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ______.
Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
a) Prozac
b) Zovirax
c) Lithium
d) Zanax
e) Valium
f) Zoloft
g) All of the above
h) None of the above
*If none, please explain: __________________.
Length of daily commute:
a) Less than 1 hour
b) 1 hour
c) 2 hours
d) 3 hours
e) 4 hours or more
* If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.
When stopped by police, you should:
a) pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready. b)
try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 Freeway. c) have
your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring
yourself of a hefty lawsuit.
When turning, you should always signal your intentions by: a) using your
directional signals.
b) what is a "directional signal"?
Which part of your car will wear out most often?
a) the wiper blades
b) the belts
c) the horn
The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
a) dark, poorly lit roads
b) flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
c) revenge!
Your rear view mirror is for:
a) watching for approaching cars
b) watching for approaching police cars
c) checking your hair
Another related effect of the drought - Drought has U.S. ranchers facing a harsh winter. I wonder if this will mean an increase in prices for meat and meat related products. Maybe I should be glad that I'm a semi-vegeterian and hardly ever eat meat. I never buy meat to cook. When I do eat it, it's usually at a restaurant, in take-out food, or in a packaged prepared frozen food.
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