S. Brenda Elfgirl - I was told I am an elf in a parallel life, and I live in the Arizona desert exploring what this means. I've had this blog for a while and I write about the things that interest me. My spiritual teacher told me that my journey in life is about balancing "the perfect oneness of a sweetness heart and the effulgent soul". My inner and outer lives are like parallel lines that will one day meet, but only when there is a new way of thinking. Read on as I try to find the balance.
Thank you for viewing / reading my blog posts! I appreciate it!
Friday, January 03, 2003
Wednesday, January 01, 2003
Some New Years's Resolutions.
1. Finish my two novels. Following in the Dark - a story about religion and s&m sex and finding yourself, and The Crow Priestess - a scifi fantasy story of power games by women.
2. Finish my screenplay - Going Home Again, and send to Richard Walter at the UCLA Screenwriting program for review.
3. Start and finish - Missy Dreams of Ducks - the story of a 12-year old who dreams she's become a duck.
4. Finish my very long short story Crazy Eddie - the story of a woman who goes to the desert after she discovers her boyfriend lying in a pool of blood in her hallway.
5. Get my weight down to 130 pounds and maintain.
6. Read my bible every day, and study Luke/Acts and the Pauline letters.
7. Write a gratitude list every day, only because I know I'm not very grateful for how great my life really is.
1. Finish my two novels. Following in the Dark - a story about religion and s&m sex and finding yourself, and The Crow Priestess - a scifi fantasy story of power games by women.
2. Finish my screenplay - Going Home Again, and send to Richard Walter at the UCLA Screenwriting program for review.
3. Start and finish - Missy Dreams of Ducks - the story of a 12-year old who dreams she's become a duck.
4. Finish my very long short story Crazy Eddie - the story of a woman who goes to the desert after she discovers her boyfriend lying in a pool of blood in her hallway.
5. Get my weight down to 130 pounds and maintain.
6. Read my bible every day, and study Luke/Acts and the Pauline letters.
7. Write a gratitude list every day, only because I know I'm not very grateful for how great my life really is.
So it's New Year's Day and I'm playing with my dowsers, which I got in the Sean David Morton seminar I went to in November. I'm asking my pendulum and copper rods all these questions about 2003, and it's fun and mindless and who knows if what they're saying is true, but it's like an entertainment thing, so who cares right?
This morning I dreamt of my first love from college, MN (a nickname only he and I know the origins of). I haven't dreamt of him in years, but I did this morning. I dreamt we were getting together, like dating and getting married, which is so weird since I haven't heard from since I left college.
I mean, it would be my ultimate romantic fantasy to end up being married to first love, but the chances of that happening is like so zero. I think he probably lives somewhere in DC or Maryland, because he always said he was going to live on the banks of the Potomac, and he's the kind of guy who always does what he says. And I'm here in the city and county of San Francisco.
So I'm asking the pendulum and the dowsers about my first love MN, and they're like confirming my dream and I'm like, yeah right, in a million years, I'll believe when I see it. I mean, it would have to take a phone call from my first love telling me he's living here in the Gemini city of San Francisco, and like wouldn't it be nice if we got together. Still, it's kind of fun in a sad way to think of us getting together again. Sad only because I know it's just a fantasy. But I'm an Aquarian, and every Aquarian girl has a thing for their first love guys, so maybe it's not that surprising that I still cling to the fantasy of marrying my first love.
It's so weird to think of my first love on this first day of the New Year. I mean what was my subconscious mind up to when it made me have that dream? I suppose I should sit around and try to analyze my dream, but I'm not going to. What's the point? I think I should just look at my first love dream as a reminder that I'll find someone to fall in love with this year, and it will be as cool, as hot, and as special as that first time. Now that's my ultimate love fantasy!
This morning I dreamt of my first love from college, MN (a nickname only he and I know the origins of). I haven't dreamt of him in years, but I did this morning. I dreamt we were getting together, like dating and getting married, which is so weird since I haven't heard from since I left college.
I mean, it would be my ultimate romantic fantasy to end up being married to first love, but the chances of that happening is like so zero. I think he probably lives somewhere in DC or Maryland, because he always said he was going to live on the banks of the Potomac, and he's the kind of guy who always does what he says. And I'm here in the city and county of San Francisco.
So I'm asking the pendulum and the dowsers about my first love MN, and they're like confirming my dream and I'm like, yeah right, in a million years, I'll believe when I see it. I mean, it would have to take a phone call from my first love telling me he's living here in the Gemini city of San Francisco, and like wouldn't it be nice if we got together. Still, it's kind of fun in a sad way to think of us getting together again. Sad only because I know it's just a fantasy. But I'm an Aquarian, and every Aquarian girl has a thing for their first love guys, so maybe it's not that surprising that I still cling to the fantasy of marrying my first love.
It's so weird to think of my first love on this first day of the New Year. I mean what was my subconscious mind up to when it made me have that dream? I suppose I should sit around and try to analyze my dream, but I'm not going to. What's the point? I think I should just look at my first love dream as a reminder that I'll find someone to fall in love with this year, and it will be as cool, as hot, and as special as that first time. Now that's my ultimate love fantasy!
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