Wow, I'm like freaking out! Changing jobs is so stressful! I thought moving apartments and grandma dying suddenly last year was stressful, but this is one is right up there.

This is my fifth job in 13 years. When I was changing jobs every two years, the whole process was stressful but I was so used to doing it and it was happening so often that I think I became used to it. I've been at this current job now for four years, and it's kind of frightening to think about leaving.

The current job sucks and has majorly sucked for a long time, but I was used to it. Now I'm going to have to start over, and although I'm not looking forward to it, I am, sort of looking forward being in a new place and making new friends and doing new things.

So I just talked to the medical consultant I've been working with since 2001, another ex-boss, and he was really bummed I was leaving. He said he's going to call my new boss tomorrow and talk to him. That was nice. I don't know what good it will do, but it is sweet that he wants to call. He said he's going to recommend that I continue to consult with the company for as long as possible, because I helped to develop the product.

The medical consultant, he's a gastroenterologist actually, told me he knows someone high up in management at the new company, and that he'll put in a good word for me with his friend. Isn't that sweet?

This doctor is really nice, tough and a little difficult to work with, but really, really fair. He doesn't get along with too many people, so I think he is truly sorry to see me go. I'll miss him too. This guy was really smart, and despite his sometimes gruff manner, very, very easy to work with and for.

So I resigned from my job today. My boss was really nice about it, and I'm not one to burn bridges so I offered them my consulting services until they can hire someone else. I told my boss, "I don't want to leave the company in a lurch, and I want to make my departure a win-win situation for everyone." My boss thought it was a good idea, and we're going to go over more stuff tomorrow morning.

He was so weird too. He said "I was just thinking it was working out fine that you were working at home in San Francisco", and I'm thinking "yeah right". But I said, "You know if the new job doesn't work out, I can always come back right?". And he laughed and said, "Sure." I think he was glad to see me go, but he wasn't going to say that either since they still need to me to get some work done.

It would be so much fun to burn some bridges, but it's not good karma and I may need to come crawling back to them if the new job doesn't work out.

I start my new job on March 17, St. Patrick's Day. It's a 30-day contract to perm arrangement, but I've spent every day since last Wednesday talking to my new boss that it feels like I already know her very well. I really like her, and I think that's a good thing.

But I am freaked out! This job hunt thing has been happening so fast. I just started applying for jobs on February 6, and by February 27 I was offered a job. A friend who's a recruiter in Silicon Valley told me that I should feel so incredibly grateful that I was able to get a job right away. She said it's a very tough job market out there. I even got a 6% raise in pay, and that's a miracle considering the horrible economy right now.

And I am so grateful, but I'm dizzied by the speed of the events. I don't think what just happened will sink in right away, probably not until I'm in my brand new office building in downtown San Francisco.

I really need to write out my metaphorical reading of Mel Gibson's "The Passion" movie. In my own mind, it's kind of like vewing The Passion of Christ from a christian mysticism perspective. Like how would Bernard of Clairvaux or St. John of the Cross view Gibson's movie, if I could be that presumptuous.

I'll have to google the Net to see if somebody has written a christian mysticism interpretation of this movie. That's how I see this movie anyway.