I've gained weight. Not all of the weight I lost last year, but a good 15 pounds of it. My skirts are tight and my shirts are snug. The jeans that used to be huge on me, not fit again. It's so depressing.

Last week I decided I needed to start exercising again, so I went to the gym three times and ran. I ran for two miles during my first visit to the gym, and then did two miles on the eliptical machine. Then the next time I went to the gym I decided to just walk two miles and do another two miles on the eliptical machine, because my knees were starting to hurt. Then during my third visit I ran again for two miles, and then did two miles on the eliptical machine.

On Saturday afternoon, I started getting the sniffles. I was thinking I had worn my body out and I was paying for it by coming down with a cold. I vitamined myself out Saturday night, and woke up on Sunday feeling better and able to go the baseball game without having to take cold medicine. On Monday, I stayed at home and lounged around in my jammies and watched TV all day.

I woke up this morning feeling like I never had a cold. So I went back to the gym and ran two miles and then did another two miles on the eliptical trainer. I'm like clocking four miles a day, which is a lot for me.

My weight hasn't changed, but on Friday I wore my Tommy Hilfiger size 8 jeans and they were loose. My size 8 Ralph Laurens are still snug, but not uncomfortably so. Maybe the running is taking the weight off my hips and legs at least. Now if I can just unstress myself and stop the chocolate binge eating I've been going through.

I only crave chocolate when I'm stressed out, and I have no idea what I'm so stressed out about. Chocolate calories go straight to my waist. Maybe I have that cortisol problem that they keep talking about on infomercial tv.

I have problems digesting food so I'm going to try some herbal formulas to improve my digestion. Supposedly I have a hard time absorbing nutrients from my food, so no matter how much I eat my body thinks I'm starving it to death. I have to test whether this diagnosis is true, because something has to explain my chocolate binging.

Chocolate is like a drug to me. No matter how much I eat of it, I can never get enough. I jsut love the taste of it, and if I had my way, I wish I could it constantly and not gain weight or have bad skin because of it.

Yes, I'm very happy that John Kerry picked John Edwards to run. I really liked the guy, but I feel so sorry for Dick Gephardt. I think he would have made a great VP, and he's been in public service for so long. Can you imagine how Dick Gephardt must feel, to have been passed over for the VP spot by some guy who is so young and hasn't even been a senator for that long?

I can so relate, because I'm reminded of the time this guy I really liked decided my just out of high school roommate was infinitely more pleasing to him than I was. The chick was cute but so ditzy. The whole thing riled me a little and I felt so passed over and old. So Dick Gephardt I so feel for you guy!

So the really cute guy at work that I had a major crush on called me today and asked when we were going to work on our project together. This is the second time he's mentioned it.

Back in May, I saw him in the elevator and he said he was going on vacation in June and that he wouldn't be able to work on the project. I told him it was fine because the project was delayed.

Now I get a call from him today and I want to tell my boss that I really want to work on the project with the cutie from the 21st floor, but of course I can't say that. I'll mention it, and my boss will say the same thing; that the project is delayed till later in the fall.

I am so bummed. Maybe this guy likes me? Why would he mention to me twice in three months that he wants to work on the project? I mean, who the hell wants extra work? And he's not even in my department. If he likes me why doesn't he just say so and like ask me out for coffee or something. He is just such a hottie!

I did kind of forget about the guy for awhile, only because I saw a cuter guy in the US Airways line in Charlotte. And then for whatever stupid dumb dumb reason, I'm fantasizing about screenwriting marina hottie boy again. God only knows why because he was so immature and spacey, and dated like three girls at one time and no way would I ever want to be one of Chris' angels or the harem. I still have visions of him and that blonde bimbo with the plastique rack, the cow udder woman. I could never date a guy who had that kind of bad taste in women, that's like so rude!

Why can't I meet a cute guy at church? We could go to church together and not have to deal with the different religion thing, and I'd feel good because he'd be a JC guy. Such a simple thing thing to do one would think, but not for me, never for me.

I woke up on the Fourth of July out of the weirdest dream. I was with some guy, I think he was a boyfriend or a husband, some guy, whose face I couldn't see. We were going to a baseball park, and it was Fenway Park. Fenway Park? I don't even know where Fenway Park is and had to ask a friend of mine. I thought it was in Chicago, but my friend corrected me and said Fenway Park was in Boston, and that Chicago's baseball park is called Wrigley Field. And I'm like whatever. The point is I'm dreaming about going to a baseball park that I know nothing about.

So in the dream, we get to the park and I find out that I left the tickets back in San Francisco. The scene fades and I'm back in my apartment and staring at the tickets to Fenway Park that are stuck to the fridge, because that's where I stick all my tickets. And then I wake up.

What a weird dream! But maybe not so weird as it turns out. I had tickets to go with a friend of mine to SBC Park to see the Giants play the A's. She'd never been to new baseball park, so I thought it might be fun for us to go. Plus, it was around her birthday so it was like part of her birthday present.

I tell my friend the dream and she says that SBC park was modelled after Fenway Park. And then she tells me that she has some kind of karma with baseball parks. She grew up in the Bronx near Yankee Stadium, so her whole childhood was spent dealing with the effects of people going to the game. And now currently her office is two blocks from SBC park, so now she has to deal with the effects of people going to baseball games and having it affect her commute home.

And the game we went to was a good game. The Giants lost, and that wasn't fun but so many weird things happened. Mark Mulder beaned Barry Bonds. How often do you seen Barry Bonds getting beaned by a pitcher? Then Mulder beaned another guy. Then the Giants brought in a new pitcher who beaned Mulder while he was up at bat, and who was then thrown out by the umpire. Then another pitcher and the manager got ejected from the game. So much drama.

My friend was hoping to see a Giants player hit a home run, and JT Snow who was pinch hitting, made her wish come true. Barry Bonds was walked by Mulder and earned the title of having the most walks in baseball.

Not a bad game for someone's first game at SBC park. Then we decided to go home because the fog was rolling in, and we were predicting that the fireworks were going to be all fogged out and sure enough they were. The fog spoils almost all the July 4th fireworks displays in San Francisco. I watched the sadly fogged out fireworks spectacle on TV. I would have been really bummed to have stood there in the freezing foggy cold to see what I saw on TV.