I'm on the last chapter of my Texas novel and I'm having the hardest time finishing it. I know how it's going to end because I wrote a four page outline of what the chapter is about, but it's feeling so anticlimactic to be writing this last chapter. I'm like, this is the first novel that I am finishing and it's like the freakiest feeling. I didn't think I would feel this way.

I thought I would feel elated and ecstatic to be writing the last chapter of my novel. Although it's not exactly the last chapter because I have two more chapters to write, but those last two chapters are epilogues. Chapter 12 is the final ending. Chapter 12 is the end of the story.

My intuition is telling me to take this week slow and to not push my writing. I want to finish the chapter this week, but I'm not going to rush it.

I think my problem is I'm going to have to end the relationship for my characters and it's sad. I'm not writing a happy ending, I'm writing a bittersweet ending. I wanted to write a fun love story with a sappy happy ending, and instead I'm writing a love story where the characters breakup.

I feel like I'm reliving the ending of the relationship I had with the person I based my male character on, and I don't want to go through the pain again. Silly isn't it? When I originally conceived of the story, I wanted to experience a fairytale happy ending with my male character. In real life the guy and I broke up, so I thought wouldn't it be fun to write a story with a similar male character except that we end up together.

But my ending didn't work out that way, my characters didn't want a happy ending. Yes I think they fell in love, but they were never meant to be just like me and that guy were never went to be. Just writing that line makes me feel like crying.

It's not like I didn't try my damndest to end my story happily, because I did. But my storyline couldn't justify a happy ending. I hate this! I write to experience things that I didn't experience in real life, and I end up writing a story that's closer to reality. This is supposed to be fiction and not my real life.

I know I'm being silly because these characters aren't me and they had situations happen to them that never happened to me. I just wish I could give them a better ending to their relationship than the one I had.

Sometimes my intuition kicks in and send me warnings about people that they're untrustworhty. I never know what to think when I get these feelings especially when I have no factual evidence to base my intuition on. But I think I need to start paying attention to those warnings.

There's this guy at work. I've never liked him, and I couldn't figure out why and I just had the feeling that he couldn't be trusted. The feelings I received were confusing because everyone else in the department really liked him.

Today my boss told me to watch out for him because he's the biggest gossip, and he's already tried to get several people in trouble. I told her I thought he was bad news when I first met him, but I didn't want to say anything. My boss said she got the same feeling too. My boss told me to watch what I say around him and to watch my back. She wouldn't elaborate on the people the guy has tried to mess up, but there's been quite a few.

What a freak! I know the guy thinks I'm snobby because I never talk to him but now I don't care. If I don't instinctively trust someone, I can't talk to them, I just can't, especially at work. I'm not rude or anything. I'm very civil, but I don't go out of my way to talk to an untrustworthy person at work. People of that ilk are just too dangerous, and who needs another person you have to be careful with in your work life; there are enough of those already.

So my intuition was right ... it usually is but it's kind of scary when it's confirmed the way my boss confirmed my intuition today.

I went to see "Kung Fu Hustle" tonight, and it was an "excellent, excellent" movie! I've got to kick a movie out of my top 10 list, so I can add Kung Fu Hustle. It's a fantastic spoof of the hong kong kung fu movie genre and steals from The Matrix, Gangs of New York, and as one review noticed Fred Astaire movies as well. There were some sequences that reminded me of my fave Bollywood movie "Lagaan" as well.

The movie is funny, fast paced, really really cute and sweet, and it has some of the best body parts hacked off nd flying all over the screen that I've seen in a long time. Gotta love a movie that has awesome violence in it! Plus of course, the kung fu is spectacular and puts the Matrix series to shame. And it doesn't take itself so seriously like "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", a movie where the fighting special effects were just a little too over the top and laughable really.

The movie was written and directd by Stephen Chow, who also wrote and directed "Shaolin Soccer" a movie I wanted to see but never got around to. Now I definitely have to see it and everything else he's written and directed.

"Kung Fu Hustle" is so fun I think I'm going to have to buy the DVD.

On iTunes there are celebrity playlists, and I can buy the Cure's playlist of 21 songs for about $21. I love all of their song picks, but then I adore the band so that makes sense doesn't it?