Rest in peace, Shelby Foote. You were the best civil war/war of northern agression historian and storyteller ever!

So I decided I am in sore need of a fun summer flirtation, and emailed the customer service rep in Laguna Beach. I gave him all my phone numbers, told him I really enjoyed talking to him, to give me a call sometime, and hinted about the King Tut exhibit in LA.

I think it would be so much fun to fly down to LA on a Saturday, have the guy meet me and take me to see the King Tut exhibit. What are friends in LA for anyway, right? Besides, now I am dying to know if this guy is cute or not. He's probably way too young and has tatoos, but I've never had a tatooed young-un before and I am willing to give it a try.

So the guy emailed me back today and this is what he wrote:

Brenda,
I really enjoyed talking with you last Friday. The time just flew by! Have you ever got off the phone and wondered, “What did I just say?” I was that comfortable.

No nightmares as yet, just a strange buzzing sensation, source unidentified. Kinda weird, kinda cool.

We do seem to have a lot in common. You’re easy to talk to. I would like to give you a follow-up call if I may. In the name of research of course.

Peace, M

And I was like so excited! It's so fun to be mentally infatuated with someone. And I'm like thinking if the guy has red hair, and I so moving to LA.

So I wrote back and said "Please do call!" and then said "Maybe if we get to know each other a little better, we could see the King Tut exhibit together. Egyptian stuff is very, very cool!". I also mentioned that I was "in awe" at how comfortable we were together on the phone.

That "Grease" song is going through my head ... summer lovin' had be a blast, summer lovin' happened so fast.

So one day you’re on the phone talking to the customer service rep who’s been emailing you because your just purchased very expensive product that is supposed to improve your health is actually making you nauseous. And you’re talking to him and trying to find out why you’re having adverse reactions, and in the midst of friendly chit chat you realize you have so much in common with the stranger on the phone. That your bodies react the same way to drugs and that he’s done several of the things you’ve done, plus to boot the guy played college football at home state school and as an 18-year old you always fantasized about dating football players from the home state university. But you’re at work and you’re in a cube farm where everyone can hear you, and he’s at work and answering the phones, and after twenty minutes you hang up because you’re both got a ton of work to do. And it’s not until you’ve hung up and go back to the spreadsheet you’re working on, that you realize that the guy was echoing back qualities you’d written down in your wish list of a perfect man when he was innocently telling you about himself. And at that exact moment of realization you feel your heart skipping a beat because you start to think that maybe Mr. Perfect does exist. And it isn’t until you’ve come out of a meeting later in the afternoon that you realize that the guy reminds you so much of your ex-husband, and that you haven’t met men like than in years. And then later on in the night as you’re having dinner in Macy’s Cellar before your 8 pm theater show, you realize that the guy who you had a twenty minute conversation on the phone made you feel safe, comfortable and normal and all other men that you thought you loved including the red-haired guy who you pledged undying devotion to months ago pale in comparison to this guy. And as you’re lying in bed in the wee hours of the morning unable to sleep you start to cry because you realize that the twenty minute conversation with the guy was like talking to your twin and you never thought you’d ever meet your twin nor did you ever believe in the twin concept until now. That talking to the customer service rep was like glimpsing a piece of heaven, heaven on earth that every girl dreams about when you meet the right guy. And you spill more tears because you realize how your ex-husband shattered the Mr. Perfect dream when you divorced and you’ve stayed away from guys like him ever since, even though guys like him are the ones you really, really like. And still more tears leave your eyes because you realize that once you’ve experienced a bit of heaven you can never go back and that maybe you never really loved the dozen or so men you thought you loved. And your last waking thought as you are finally falling asleep and the one that really breaks your heart is the right relationship is like having a piece of heaven on earth and the wrong relationship isn’t bad but it so pales compares in comparison to the real thing but you didn’t know it because your ex-husband spoiled it all for you and that it took a twenty minute conversation with a customer service rep who lives in Laguna Beach to set you straight.

And just to set the record straight, I did make myself go and see "Revenge of the Sith" again last Friday. And yes, I did cry at some point when "Ani" descends. I think the saddest part was when Padme tries to tell Obewon that "Ani still has good left in him" but dies before finishing the sentence. And then when Darth Vader asks about Padme, that was sad in a way because it showed he really did still care for her even though he tried to kill her before.

Oh yeah, and younglings about to die, that was sad. After the movie I started to think that maybe love was bad and a path to the dark side, because I'm still depressed, but then I realized that it's not love that's bad, its attachment that's bad. Ani was too attached to Padme, and attachment is a path to the dark side and not love. When you're too attached to an outcome, you end up not doing good things sometimes. Attachment is tied into emotions, and intense emotions like fear and anger are direct paths to the dark side. But not love, at least not love without attachment to results. But who is divine enough to have that kind of love 24/7. I think that's the tragedy of Anakin Skywalker. He was all too human and couldn't rise above the level of emotional attachmnents. Plus having intuitions about a bad future coming to pass probably doesn't help.

I love that my intuitions are coming true, but at the same time, it's kind of a pain because there are things that I sense that I don't want to come true. And with my schizophrenic intuitions I don't know which ones are true and which ones aren't, so half the time I'm like thinking "what is the point of having intuition if it's not completely reliable?"