Is this a sign from the universe. Someone else who just started two months ago in my group just resigned last Tuesday. The excuse was they got a job with more money, but I think it's because my group is so disorganized and finding a job with more money isn't a bad inducement either. I think it's time to put my resume together and send it out. Two people from my group have left and gotten jobs that paid more money. That's a lot! It's four people actually if I count the two guys that left last year.

I know where I want to work. I had a chat with a friend in the industry a couple of weeks ago, and she encouraged me to apply because she thought the company was great as well. It will probably mean a longer and more expensive commute, but what the hell.

I am hating coming to work every morning as it is, and I know my attitude is taking a toll on my writing and my emotional life. It's time to leave and see where fate and my resume take.

I felt it was 9/11 all over again only this time I had my tv on and I was walking out of my kitchen with coffee and breakfast in hand to check the traffic and listen to the weather, when I realize I'm watching a news conference about a terrorist attack in London. Immediately tears sprang into my eyes and it was like I was in my car on 9/11 driving to work and listening to the public radio station guy freaking about the terrorist attack on the world trade towers.

My heart and prayers go out the Londoners who lost loves ones or whose loved ones were injured in the attacks. This is what the Israelis go through every day of their lives with the Palestinians. I don't people get that sometimes.

At least the new crush/love sent me $60 worth of books that I received this morning. That's more than the red-haired guy ever did. I mean, he always paid for meals and stuff like that, but he never gave me a present. And these books will come in handy because they're like serious science books, and I think I'll be able to use them as research material for my Elfgirl novels.

Did I mention he's an editor as well? I so want to date or become very good friends with a guy who edits books for a living.

Wow, I am so in crush/love it's sad. I called this guy twice over the weekend, and then like any old needy girl I make a comment saying "did you did think about me over the weekend." Of course I thought the guy didn't give me a second thought and I'm like whatever.

But then I get this message this morning.

**************
Miss Brenda,

I thought of you often over the weekend. I did receive your message but couldn’t reply as I spent most of this weekend underwater! I got way too much sun and I can barley keep my eyes open.
***************

Okay, maybe it's like one big lie that he thought of me, but it's nice that he said he did.

Maybe it's a good idea he doesn't live near me because I'm sure I would have tried to invite myself over to his place by now and then tried to seduce him. Maybe I was a girl lion in my animal incarnation because I so prefer to do my own hunting, especially when it comes to men. I hate being chased although it is nice when a guy does that. I much prefer to be the one to do the chasing for the most part. I feel like I'm reverting back to my 18 year old self when I think like this, because at that age when I saw a guy I liked I went after him.