Alright, I know it's been a long, long time since I've posted but I'm still around. It's been an exhaustive February.

Work was crazy! I had 100 emails to deal with when I got back to work on that first Monday. This last week was the first week at work that I think I finally got all caught up.

M-Square and I are on the rocks. I think we will always be friends but our future is pretty non-existent at this point. He has so many problems, most of them having to do with work I think. It's hard to have a relationship when your work life is so precarious. I've been there and know what he's going through. You can't really think about being in a relationship when you're not sure if you're going to get paid from week to week. Financial issues are the death of most relationships I think. Ah well!

The best part of February is I have been doing a ton of reading, and even wrote a little bit.

House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende - what an amazing book! I loved Clara and the magical realism of the whole book. What an amazing story! She is definitely one of my new writing muses. I will have to read all of her books.

Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon - this was his first novel and I hated it, really hated it! It was so darn boring. I had to force myself to finish it. My guy, from screenwriting class whom I had a serious crush on, recommended the book. Maybe it's a guy book, meaning it's something a guy would enjoy, but I sure did not. I hate when people recommend books that I end up reading and then conclude at the end that the book majorily sucked! A really good friend of mine recommended I read "The English Patient", and was even quoting passages out of the book with her sister. What a sleeper! There's another book I had to force myself to finish. The movie was definitely way better than the book, although I heard in a lecture that Robert McKee thought the movie totally sucked and didn't but the story at all.

Blue Lattitudes by Tony Horowitz - I bought this book to read in Hawaii, but never finished it on my trip. Tony Horowitz is an amazing writer. I loved "Confederates in the Attic" and just knew I would love this book on Captain Cook. There is a Captain Cook monument in the town where my highschool is located on Kauai. Back when I was in highschool at Waimea, there was even some huge celebration on some anniversary of his landing and there were representatives from his birthplace in England there. It was such a big deal on my island that year.

2nd Chances by James Patterson - the man is an amazing storyteller. I couldn't put the book down and thoroughly enjoyed it. I love books that I can't put down. I don't normally like crime fiction, but I can see why his books sell very well.

The House of the Seven Gables by Nathaniel Hawthorne - this was an amazing book. I loved the way it was written and I loved the characters. The storyteller in the book had such a sense of humor. And much to my surprise, it was quite the romance! I was expecting more of a gothic horror novel, and I suppose it was, but it was also such a cute love story.

The Alchemist by Paul Coelho - J and M from my writing group recommended this book and they were so right - this is an amazing book. It is so spiritual and I am so relating to Santiago right now especially with regard to my writing, since I sincerely believe being a paid writer is my "personal legend". In the beginning of my writing journey, writing every day came so easily. It's called "beginner's luck" in the book. But these last two years have been pretty hard and I've had to struggle daily to have any enthusiasm to write. I know I lost my focus on my personal legend, having been consumed with my new job in 2003 and then trying to have a relationship. But I have been at my new job for two years now, and although I still do not have the relationships of my dreams, I found out in these last two years that my heart is still open and that if I balance my life I can still pursue my writing and still have a relationship.

I watched "The Corpse Bride" on my flight back. Talk about a weak story! I started getting so annoyed with Johnny Depp's character, which is a not a good thing for a movie audience. You couldn't root for this character at all. I kept thinking if they only flushed out his character better, then the movie might have been decent. I was very disappointed with this Tim Burton movie, very disappointed.

It's becoming increasingly hard to read the business news. GM and Ford are laying off tens of thousands of people. Kraft is laying off people as well. How many more layoffs can the country take? People keep saying that how well General Motors is doing is an indicator of the rest of the economy. Well, GM is not doing so well are they?

The scuttlebutt is that Ford or GM will merge with a japanese automaker. Boy, that will interesting won't it?

I'm back at Honolulu Airport waiting for my flight to take me back home to San Francisco, and I'm blogging at the airport internet access kiosk where I remembered I had some extra minutes.

The last 2.5 days have been a whirlwind. It's always been that way when I'm in Honolulu. My brother took my sister and I up to Punchbowl Cemetery to put flowers on my mom's grave. My mom is lucky to be buried there. The cemetery is full and they aren't burying people there anymore. There was some kind of official visiting because there was a military colourguard there, along with what looked like navy and marine personnel. But we didn't stay because the rain was pouring.

As much as I've visited Punchbowl, I've never looked at the statue of the woman, which is famous for having been in the opening shots for the old tv show Hawaii Five-O. We went to take a look at it this time, and the statue is huge. There's also mosiacs of the battles in the Pacific during world war II.

Being in Honolulu always reminds me that Pearl Harbor is a huge military outpost, and that sailor boys are roaming the island. You always see them running around in threes in downtown Waikiki. We never quite get the military presence shoved in our face in San Francisco. I think their absence makes you forget that the US' power has always been based in its military power. The televised church ceremonies that happened 9/11 really brought home that fact to me. News about the military make the nightly news here. It did when I was growing up and it still does today.

For Veteran's Day in Hawaii, all elementary school children in Hawaii (at least this what they said to us), make floral leis to put on every military gravestone throughout the islands. My island has a military gravesite. My uncle, whom I was visiting this trip because he was ill, was a major in the Vietnam War serving as s doctor somewhere in Vietnam. You know, he never talked about his time there. God knows what kind of medical horrors he saw, but to this day he still wears his dogtags.

My brother took me out to a really great thai restaurant for lunch. I was surprised because the the thai was as good as what you would get in San Francisco. Then he took me to some famous cafe called Onjin Cafe. The chef who runs the place is considered on of the finest chefs in the islands. I thought the food was good, but my brother said it was an off night. We had some kind of fish, that I think I remember eating growing up. It's called olua, but my brother doesn't know the american name for the fish so who knows what I was eating.

My time is running out. It was a good trip, but packed full of stuff to do. I never spend enough time here in Honolulu. It's always been a trip to run around and do things and shop and not relax. I really wanted to visit the Arizona Memorial. I haven't visited since I was a kid, and one of the guys in my screenwriting gorup is writing a screenplay that takes place at the Arizona Memorial. I think I just need to spend a week in Honolulu and be a tourist again one day as an adult, and see all the sites I visited as a kid.