My friend S from work came over to visit, and we had dinner at the vegan kosher chinese restaurant near my place called Shangri La. They have probably the best vegan dinner for $22 for 2 people. They serve spring rolls, soup, two dishes with purple/brown rice and fried banana for desert. It is such a deal!

S and I have so much in common. We both love blue and white dishes and London. She used to live in Penzance England, although she grew up in Montreal and all her family is in NYC. She's a long time meditator like me, and I think she was a fairy girl in one of her previous lives.

It's nice to make a new friend that you have so much in common with. Plus she's into this thing called Human Design, which is kind of astrology but totally different. She and I and projectors. She is very sensitive and very psychic.

I've only known here since December, but when we get together it's like we've know each other for years. She is writing a novel that I think will be a bestseller when she gets it published. She told me tonight about an idea for another novel she wants to write based on a woman she met and cared for who was Austrian and survivor of Auschwitz.

It was so weird to meet someone else who is as interested in Holocaust history as I am. We both think we were killed/gased during the Holocaust in a preveious life. She laughed because I say the word "Auschwitz" with a perfect german accent. I wonder if I died there. One of these days, I would like to travel to visit all the Holocaust camps to see if I have any dejavu experience at one of them. I know when I do, it will mean that I died at that particular death camp.

When I told her I thought I was flapper girl in NYC, she giggled and said she had a psychic vision of my previous life. I love music from that era, always have, even though I did not have exposure to it until I read my first F. Scott Fitzgerald short story. I used to really be into F. Scott!

I decided today that I never gave myself permission to not have a career other than a writing career, and until I give myself permission to not do well at the way I make money to pay my rent I will always hate my job. And I've hated my jobs since I decided I wanted to be an author of books and screenplays, but I never knew why.

I didn't hate the job I was between 2000 and 2004. Back then I was just happy to have a job because it was the dot-com bust, and everyone I practically knew was unemployed and looking for work. Now I have another job and every day I hate it and every day think about leaving still. It's not the job, it's me! Even if I were to get another job, I would still hate it because it wouldn't be the dream job of being an author that I long to have.

I have to do alot of inner work this week to have it be okay for me not be in a job that I'm never going to be fulfilled at, that I'll never get more than a Meets on a yearly review, and that I'll never be promoted. I don't want these types of career things anymore, I want different things. But I have to come to terms with my decision and give myself permission to be a mediocre corporate worker, so I can be a good author of books and screenplays. Maybe I've always been a mediocre corporate slave and just never knew it. I don't know.

I'm just blown away by this insight I had about myself this morning. I had no idea I was still holding on to being promoted at my job, being assigned important projects, and getting noticed and seen around the company. These are things I used to crave in my jobs and since I'm not getting them anymore, it's been freaking me out big time.

I'm so incoherent right now, I know. I'm just blown away by what should have been a simple thing to do for myself and I should have done for myself six years ago and I'm mad at myself because I didn't do this six years ago. I can't help asking myself how far would my writing have progressed had I given permission to myself to not do well at my job six years ago.

I haven't been sleeping well and now I am run down and getting sick. Not sure if it's allergies or if it's the rain, but my nose is all runny and I feel crummy. I got at 4:30 am, left home at 6 am to drive to a division meeting two hours away in Sacramento. On the drive back it started raining, and it took me 3 hours to get home. Thank god there weren't any accidents on the freeways, otherwise it would have taken longer.

I am just happy to have gotten home accident free. I know how to drive in rain, but it is still nerve racking to drive in rush hour rainy traffic. I was so proud of myself driving in rush hour traffic. I used to do it regularly, but I haven't had to drive to work in two years and I was beginning to think I was losing my commuting driving skills.

Having learnt to drive on a small island with a two-lane road, I was deathly afraid of driving in San Francisco for a long time. Five lane freeways used to just scare the heck out of me until I had to drive down the Peninsula to work every day for two years at the height of the dot com boom, when the traffic between San Francisco to the South Bay was manic and intense. Now I'm a decent commute driver, and on a rainy day like today I was glad I had that experience.

A friend is picking me up at 6 am tomorrow to drive down to Monterey for an all day seminar, so I have another long day and drive ahead of me tomorrow. Thank god I'm not driving! I am exhausted!

I wear this necklace around my neck called a super receptor. It's a health device that is supposed to help your body function better, but something is happening to it or maybe something is happening to me. It doesn't seem to have the same effect that it had when I first started wearing it in 2003. I let my friend S at work feel it today, and she noted that it wasn't as powerful as it was when she first saw it a few months ago. S said she still feels something, but it isn't as strong as it used to be.

I took it off on Saturday before my kineseology session and I usually feel lost without it, but for some reason I forgot I took it off until later that night. As an avid reader of several new age boards, I've read so many posts and articles in the last two years about how people feel that their frequencies are changing and that there is some kind of shift happening in the world and in their bodies. I've felt the changes in frequences and shifts as well, and I think it's affecting the way my necklace is working. My necklace used to have a such a powerful effect on me, but not anymore.

Everyone says there will be another large frequency shift and change happening during the new moon eclipse on March 29. My intuition tells me that they are right and sadly after that date, I don't think my super receptor will work for me anymore.

S thinks it might because I am taking my etherium supplements and they are having an effect on my energies and frequencies, which are rendering my super receptor ineffective. I mean, this is good news and all because it means it's a sign of growth and change in my body that can only mean my health is getting better. But then I'm thinking, oh great, I'm going to have to look for another device to keep furthering my body's return to good health.

I really like my necklace. It's made me feel safe and protected, and it would be such a bummer to find out after March 29 that it is no longer having the same effect. I wonder if other necklace wearers are feeling the same thing.

I could change the amethyst stone on the necklace, but my intuition tells me that a change in gemstone will not help. The necklace just won't work for me anymore

The new age boards say that the changes and shifts in frequencies are only happening to certain people, and I guess I'm one of them because I'm a sensitive and an intuitive with my four clairs (clairaudient, clairsentience, claircognizance, clairvoyance) intact and going strong and getting stronger every day.