Preface to a Novel tentatively titled "Escape from Azatlan"

I've been working a novel since 2022 which is tentatively titled "Escape from Azatlan". I wrote it in 3rd person limited, and even finished it. I was trying to edit it, but the editing wasn't going well. I recently got the inspiration to rewrite the whole novel in 1st person. Here's the preface I wrote tonight.

"When I look back at all the decisions I made in my life, there was only one that truly and irreversibly changed my life. I didn’t know it at the time though. The decision I made seemed natural, fated, inevitable, simple, and beautiful. Some who know me will say I had no choice because I was too young and naive. I don’t agree. 

When love finds you, you have to embrace it no matter what your age is. Love is the most precious thing in this world, and the hardest thing to hold onto no matter how hard you try. Love takes on many forms and it changes with time, with age, with growing up, and with the world around you. 

But mostly importantly, love forces you to make choices that goes against everything you know, everything you thought was important, everything you held dear in your life, and every future you could have imagined for yourself. Love rips you into so many pieces and then helps you to stitch yourself back together, with time, patience, and tears that never seem to end.

And the question I always end up asking myself, was it worth it? And the answer that always comes out before I can think about it, is Yes."

Day 66 Bible Readings – Psalm 39: 7-8 (ESV)

Leviticus 15 & 16, Mark 13: 32-37, Mark 14: 1-16, Psalm 39

Psalm 39: 7-8 (ESV)

“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you. Deliver me from all my transgressions. Do not make me the scorn of the fool!”

In verses 7 and 8 from Psalm 39, we read about David putting his hope and expectation in God and not on himself. David has hope in God and looks to God to deliver him from his transgressions, and not himself. David understands that only God can deliver us from our sins. Many Biblical scholars believe that this psalm was written by David in the last years of his life when he was feeling the frailty of his life. I love the faith of David in this psalm. Even during the ending years of his life, David’s faith in God was unshakeable. David always relied on God for everything. He knew that God was the only person who could save him from the bad things he had done in his life. David’s ego never got the best of him, and he always seemed to know that only God could deliver him. I love these verses because they remind me that God is the only one who can deliver me from sins, and my hope needs to only be in God and not on myself.

Day 65 Bible Readings – Psalm 38: 21-22 (ESV)

Leviticus 14, Mark 13: 1-31, Psalm 38: 12-22

Psalm 38: 21-22 (ESV)

“Do not forsake me, O Lord! O my God, be not far from me! Make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation!”

In verses 21 through 22, we read of David’s anguish as he talks to God. David was suffering pain from a sin he committee against God. Biblical scholars cannot agree on what event in David’s life made him write this psalm, only that in Psalm 38 we know that David was feeling God’s displeasure with him. I remember reading these verses when I was in perhaps similar circumstances to David, and I was wondering if God had forsaken me because of my sinful life. I know the feeling of wanting to feel God’s presence when I pray, and how important it was to me especially when I was in pain. I just wanted God to comfort me and by feeling his presence, I felt that God was telling me “don’t worry, everything will be okay.” Not feeling God’s presence is the depths of my misery was horrible and I let myself feel so abandoned by God. I didn’t have David’s faith to feel faithful to God even when I felt no sense of his presence in my life. Readings the psalms can be a good reminder to be faithful to God because we need only read about the trials that David went through in his life, and wonder at his continued faithfulness to God. David was always faithful to God, no matter what happened in life.

Day 64 Bible Readings – Mark 12: 29-31 (ESV)

Leviticus 13, Mark 12:28-44, Psalm 38: 1-11

Mark 12: 29-31 (ESV)

“Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

In verses 29 through 31 from Mark 12, Jesus answers the scribe who asked me which commandment is the most important of all. The authors of the Bible commentaries I read all noted that the scribe was trying to test Jesus to see if he would show disrespect for one of the Law of Moses. But Jesus was smarter than the scribe and pointed out the essence of the laws of Moses. Jesus said that the most important commandment is to love the God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Then Jesus said if you love God this way, you will naturally want to obey all this commandment which in essence tells us to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Jesus teaches us that God wants us to love him first. Without this love, any obedience to the laws of Moses would be empty. If the image of God is in every person as well as in us, then we need to love our neighbor because God is in them. And what is rarely mentioned is that we need to love ourselves as well because God’s image is in us. God loves us and wants us to love ourselves as much as he loves us and our neighbors.