Day 68 Bible Readings – Leviticus 19: 4 (ESV)

Leviticus 19 & 20, Mark 14: 43-72, Psalm 40: 9-17

Leviticus 19: 4 (ESV)

“Do not turn to idols or make for yourselves any gods of cast metal: I am the Lord your God.”

Verse 4 from Leviticus 19 stood out for me today. Verse 4 tells us to not make idols or gods for yourselves of cast metal because God is the Lord of your life. When I think of idols or gods in a more modern sense, I think of how I’ve made an idol or god out of getting a promotion at work, making more money, eating only healthy food, wearing only certain styles of clothing, driving only certain types of cars, etc. I know that I’ve put different things in my life before God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. I remember at one point in my life becoming obsessed with getting a promotion at work. I wanted to get a promotion every year, and I dedicated a huge amount of time and energy to this pursuit. It was fun and so fulfilling until the third promotion. The day after my third promotion I woke up feeling so unfulfilled that I realized it didn’t matter how many promotions I got, it would never be enough. I couldn’t even enjoy one full day of promotion without feeling so empty inside. It has taken me many years, but I now know that abiding with God has never left me feeling empty inside. Christ fills me up and leaves me feeling full for long periods of time. Do I still have idols in my life? Yes, but when I get the feeling that whatever I am pursuing is becoming more important than God I stop and pray. I ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and to help me get my focus back to Christ and make him again primary in my life.

Day 67 Bible Readings – Mark 14: 35-36 (ESV)

Leviticus 17 & 18, Mark 14: 17-42, Psalm 40: 1-8

Mark 14: 35-36 (ESV)

“And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

In verses 35 and 36 from Mark 15, we read about Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsemane before he was arrested. One Biblical scholar wrote that these verses show his Jesus as his most human and most divine. Jesus knew that he was going to be beaten and crucified, and he prayed to his father if there was another way to accomplish his father’s mission. Another biblical scholar noted that when Jesus called his father “Abba”, this meant he was feeling closer to him and not farther away. But instead of taking his mission away, God strengthened Christ’s resolve to fulfill what he came to earth to do. In the end, Jesus said he would do his father’s will, not his will. Jesus knew that he was going to be sacrificed like a lamb to take away all of our sins, but in the garden of Gethsemane he faced it as his human self and accepted it as his divine self. Jesus was fully human, and fully divine. Only someone who was fully divine could accept the sacrifice Jesus was making of his human life. When we think about what Jesus did for us, it’s hard for us to contemplate his sacrifice. But I think we need to do so we can fully understand the gift that Christ gave us so we can enter heaven free of all our sins.

Preface to a Novel tentatively titled "Escape from Azatlan"

I've been working a novel since 2022 which is tentatively titled "Escape from Azatlan". I wrote it in 3rd person limited, and even finished it. I was trying to edit it, but the editing wasn't going well. I recently got the inspiration to rewrite the whole novel in 1st person. Here's the preface I wrote tonight.

"When I look back at all the decisions I made in my life, there was only one that truly and irreversibly changed my life. I didn’t know it at the time though. The decision I made seemed natural, fated, inevitable, simple, and beautiful. Some who know me will say I had no choice because I was too young and naive. I don’t agree. 

When love finds you, you have to embrace it no matter what your age is. Love is the most precious thing in this world, and the hardest thing to hold onto no matter how hard you try. Love takes on many forms and it changes with time, with age, with growing up, and with the world around you. 

But mostly importantly, love forces you to make choices that goes against everything you know, everything you thought was important, everything you held dear in your life, and every future you could have imagined for yourself. Love rips you into so many pieces and then helps you to stitch yourself back together, with time, patience, and tears that never seem to end.

And the question I always end up asking myself, was it worth it? And the answer that always comes out before I can think about it, is Yes."

Day 66 Bible Readings – Psalm 39: 7-8 (ESV)

Leviticus 15 & 16, Mark 13: 32-37, Mark 14: 1-16, Psalm 39

Psalm 39: 7-8 (ESV)

“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you. Deliver me from all my transgressions. Do not make me the scorn of the fool!”

In verses 7 and 8 from Psalm 39, we read about David putting his hope and expectation in God and not on himself. David has hope in God and looks to God to deliver him from his transgressions, and not himself. David understands that only God can deliver us from our sins. Many Biblical scholars believe that this psalm was written by David in the last years of his life when he was feeling the frailty of his life. I love the faith of David in this psalm. Even during the ending years of his life, David’s faith in God was unshakeable. David always relied on God for everything. He knew that God was the only person who could save him from the bad things he had done in his life. David’s ego never got the best of him, and he always seemed to know that only God could deliver him. I love these verses because they remind me that God is the only one who can deliver me from sins, and my hope needs to only be in God and not on myself.