Day 29 Bible Reading

Job 11-14, Matthew 20: 1-19, Psalm 17: 6-12

Matthew 20: 14-16 (ESV)

“Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?’ So the last will be first, and the first last.””

These Bible verses of Matthew 20: 14-16 made me reflect on how hard it is to sometimes to watch how God blesses people. Some people seem to get all the breaks, whether they deserve it or not. But I am reminded in these verses that God’s grace is according to his will and plan and not what it seems like each of us deserve. God’s grace is full of surprises, according to one commentator. We also cannot really see the other person’s life. We only see what they want us to see. We don’t know what they went through to get to the point where they are now. I know I have the grace and protection of God, and have been aware of it most of my life. That awareness is in itself a gift of God’s grace. When my mother died and I felt held and safe and protected in the palm of Christ’s hand during my saddest moments, I wondered what it would be like not feel that sense of protection. I remember thinking to myself, I don’t know how people face the death of a parent without knowing Christ in their life. When I read about someone struggling to understand what is going on in today’s world and how confused and fearful they feel, I wonder if they have Christ in their lives. It’s not that I don’t experience fear and confusion, because I do, but I also have my faith in Christ to pull me back from the edge, to remind me that whatever is going on is a part of God’s plan for humanity. I might not understand it all right now, but I know that at some point in the future it will all make sense and I will have that “Aha!” feeling. That’s what God was intending, that’s what he wanted to happen so it all works out for the best for all of us.

Day 28 Bible Reading

Job 8-10, Matthew 19: 16-30, Proverbs 3: 11-20

Proverbs 3: 13-16

“Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold. She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.”

Verses 13 through 16 from Proverbs 3 made me think about what exactly is Wisdom. From the Christian point of view, Wisdom can be found in the Bible and teachings of God and Jesus Christ. Most of what we read in Proverbs seem like common sense that people figured out over years and years of experience. But in Verse 3, we read that you can find Wisdom but you might not always understand it at first. But once you do understand Wisdom, it seems to open so many doors. When you find Wisdom, you will come to see that it is better than the profits from silver and gold which was the money at the time Proverbs was written. From an understanding of Wisdom, you will receive a long life and riches and honor. If we follow the teachings of the Bible and Christ, God has a plan for us. And if we follow God’s laws, then we have to believe God will give us a long life and the money needed to fulfill his plan. For me, the Wisdom part makes so much sense. It’s the applying of the Wisdom to my life and the understanding of it that is so hard. I consider myself a smart person, and I think what I do is compare God’s Wisdom to what I know. When I do that, God’s Wisdom sometimes doesn’t make sense. Which is crazy I know because God sees and knows everything, and I can only see a little bit. These verses stood out for me as a reminder to once again trust God in all things. He has Wisdom, he has the 360 degree view of my life that I don’t have.

Day 26 Bible Reading

Job 4-7, Matthew 19: 1-15, Psalm 17: 1-6

Psalm 17: 3 (ESV)

“You have tried my heart, you have visited me by night, you have tested me, and you will find nothing; I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress.”

Verse 3 from Psalm 17 made me pause in thought when I read the commentary on Psalm 17 by Pastor David Guzik (enduringword.com).  Pastor David wrote that David was referring to the test in previous psalms which he said he passed. Pastor David also said that there are three (3) questions that every Christian must ask themselves: 1) Do I allow God to test my heart; 2) Can I be corrected; and 3) Will I listen to others when they tell me I may be wrong?” I believe God has tested my heart and I did allow myself to be corrected, but I don’t think I was very joyful about it. When I experienced God’s testing, it was hard. I knew I was being tested by God, and it pained me because I didn’t know why at the time. And I think testing for my happened when God didn’t answer my prayers right away. It felt like God was ignoring me and it hurt. It was hard to keep my faith in the middle of the test. But God always answered me at what seemed like the very last minute of the very last hour, when I had all but given up hope that I would receive an answer. And when I was in this state of holding on to the slimmest of hope, a sense of peace would always come over me. I knew that whatever happened was always going to be for the best, that it might take a long time, maybe even years to feel that way, but I would eventually come to know that it was all for the best. And when my prayers were answered, most of the time I felt like it happened at the exactly right time and place. It felt like God waited for me to come to a sense of peace so no matter what happened, my faith would still be intact and strong and I would be in a state of total surrender to his will and his plan. It’s a paradoxical state of being to be in surrender to God’s will, because you have to be okay that you might not get what you want but what God does give you will be in your best interest always.

Day 26 Bible Readings - Job 1: 21-22 (ESV)

Job 1-3, Matthew 18: 10-35, Psalm 16

Job 1: 21-22 (ESV)

“And he said, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.”

Verses 21 and 22 from Job 1 touched me today. Job’s first test from Satan was to have his wealth and his children taken away from him. Job was upset, but he did not blame God. I haven’t had the level of tragedy that Job experienced in my life, but I know I have blamed God in the past for all the bad things that did occur in my life. What I have uncovered this week is I don’t blame God for what happened to me, but I have anger at God for not stopping what happened. How could he allow me to have suffered so much from two significant events in my life? I didn’t even know I had anger at God for these events, because I had done some much work on them. But the anger is there, and I was holding on to it and resenting God for allowing the events to happen in the first place. I wish I had responded as Job had to this first test. If I find myself blaming God again for an event in my life, I’m going to read Job’s response to his first test to remind myself the correct way to respond. I can be sad and upset, but I cannot blame God. God will use whatever happens to us, good and bad, for our own good. And I have to trust that God always has my good in mind.