I've got this thought in my head that I think I'm supposed to marry a guy name Chris. It's weird as heck, I know, but I met two guys named Chris in the last two years and instantly had crushes on them.

First, there was Chris, the marina hottie boy from screenwriting class who I was like so hot for as soon as he walked into class. Me and every other woman in screenwriting class thought the same thing. This Chris is tall at 6 ft 4 in, has brown hair, pretty blue eyes, does yoga, used to play college football, and has a masters in psychology. Charming too, the guy is fraternity jock boy charming. Snappy dresser as well.

He was so darn cute, I was afraid to talk to him. But then I decided I didn't need him as a distraction in my life, and tried to ignore him. But we ended up becoming very casual friends for awhile, and I had wild fantasies about the two of us getting hitched, us having a previous incarnation together, him being the one - my krishna, etc. But well that fizzled out when I figured out that he wasn't a JC boy, and that his maturity level was right out of fraternity boy jock hell.

Now there's this guy at the new job and his name is Chris, and I'm working with him on a project and I'm so in crush with him. I hardly know the guy, and already I'm in serious crush mode. This Chris is a blondie with blue eyes, and about 5 ft 8 or 9.

The two Chris's couldn't more opposite. Chris # 1 was cute, and while smart wasn't that swift on the uptake. Chris # 2 is an analytical nerd whose intelligence blows me away; the guy is really, really smart. Chris # 1 is quite a fashionable dresserm while Chris # 2 has the totally WASPy preppy wardrobe.

And I'm like in love with both of them. I think they're both so cute! For some reason Chris # 2 is more attractive to me, but I think that is partly due to the fact that he reminds me of Steve. Part of my attraction to Chris # 2 is because of the curse of Steve, the one that got away.

For whatever reason I also feel more comfortable with Chris # 2, but that could be because I met him at work and we're working together on a project and Chris # 2 seems like a very, very nice person. With Chris # 1 I was practically tongue tied with him, but with Chris # 2 I have to talk to him because he's on my project team. I mean I should be more tongue tied with Chris # 2 because he's as cute to me as Chris # 1, but I'm at work and I can't. I have to work with him and be in meetings with him every week.

And I feel bad that I have a crush on Chris # 2 because I work with him. Work relationships are so messy, and because of sexual harrassment I'm afraid of throwing myself at him. And it's awkward because it's not like he's made any indication to me that he's at all interested. He's nice and all when I have to meet with him one on one for the project we're both working on, but it's not like he's been overyly friendly either. I hate having crushes on a guy who might not even be remotely interested. I mean it's San Francisco. Chris # 2 might not even do women. I can't tell anymore, and my gay-dar is definitely not working well.

I hate the whole just because a guy's name is Chris I have to fall in love with him thing. It's bad, bad for my nerves, bad for my self esteem and ego especially when the Chris person doesn't seem that interested.

It's just so weird that these two guys are so different yet I find them both amazingly attractive, and all they have in common is they're both named Chris. Chris # 2 kinda sorta looks like, reminds me of a preppy Christopher Robin from Winnie the Pooh. And Chris # 1 kinda sort looks like a brown haired, blue eyed Charlie Sheen.

I mean there's no other explanation for my attraction to both men, other than to say it's because some part of my being is looking for the Chris that I'm supposd to spend the rest of my life with and live happily ever after.