I think I've been depressed for primarily two reasons:

1) This month is the one-year anniversary of my grandma' death. I forgot about it and just remembered it today. It's not the kind of thing I ever wanted to have an anniversary for, but it's there. I smelled grandma smells in my living room today too. Usually if she's visiting me, my kitchen smells like her but today she was in the living room. How spooky is that!

2) I haven't been sleeping well lately. I fell asleep in an odd position a couple of weeks ago, and my upper back has been hurting. I tried switching pillows, but that didn't help. At my monthly acupuncture appointment on Saturday, I told my chinese doctor and he asked me if I snored and I said yes, it's an inherited bad trait. He said snoring meant that I never get enough sleep every night, so he did a treatment for snoring. I had needles in my throat, so scary! Aferwards he told me that my chi was stuck around my heart area, or my heart chakra, he did a massage on it and then gave massage on my upper back.

When I woke up this morning, I felt like a had my first good night of sleep in weeks, and my upper back stopped hurting. But then I decided I needed to sleep more, so I stayed in bed all day and listened to old shows of this radio program I subscribe to via streamlink.

Then I was thinking that the reason my upper back was hurting was because my chi was stuck in my heart chakra, which meant the chi couldn't escape out of my wing chakras on the back. I had my wing chakras (charkas 11 & 12) opened up at a seminar a couple of years ago. Most people have it but you have it have it opened by someone who knows how. Whatever. I'm just the doctor released me chi, although when I massage my heart center, it stil hurts and he said I needed to keep massaging that spot so the chi keeps flowing.

But as much I have physical problems, other people have it worse. While I was writing out my check at the acupuncture clinic, a woman came in and said her husband had so much back pain that he couldn't get out of bed. She asked the acupuncture doctor if he could see her husband. I could tell she had just walked right off the street and into the clinic because my doctor didn't even know her name, and neither did his wife. They were nice though, and gave the woman's husband a 3 pm appointment. Poor guy! He was in so much pain, he couldn't get out of bed. That's bad. My acupuncture guy is very good though and I almost felt like telling the woman that she picked a good clinic, but I didn't want to embarrass my doctor.