HE is blinded by ego and power. HE always did like being worshipped as a god, loved being looked up to by lesser creatures. I always saw it as a burden. Perhaps that was my guilt as I had failed as mother to the four sets of twins we bore when we were Crystal people living in Sirius.

I do not know even know if I have a memory of him that was not marred by sadness. HE says we were happy in Atlantis. I do not remember much of that life, other than the fact that HE was a great ruler there. I do not know if I was his wife, his concubine or his slave girl servant that he used whenever he needed to have his needs met. All I know is that we were together.

To stay away from him these many months has been difficult, not because I love him, but because I know HE misses me and since we are one in the same, I always feel his pain.

Somehow he always know what I am doing, and he says that I have judged him harshly. He says that reads my blog posts and it hurts him that all I remember of him and all of our lives together are all the times he has hurt me. Even now he cannot admit the truth. HE not only hurt me emotionally, but HE literally murdered me not once but twice. HE may have even murdered me many more times, but I have no memories of those times.

How can I miss someone who has murdered me and hurt for billions of years?