Am I an opera junkie or what? I have "The Three Tenors Christmas" and "Christmas with Kiri Te Kanawa".

But I also have "Celtic Christmas", "Have Yourself a Jazzy Little Christmas", "Yule Strutting' A Blue Note Christmas", "Shenandoah Christmas", "Christmas Carols sung by The Choir of Westminster Abbey", and "Jazz for Joy". Plus many more. And one of these days, I'll get around to getting "The Boys 2 Men Christmas Album", which I heard once and fell in love with.

I just love Christmas music, don't you?

On my news site searches, I came across articles on the Norwalk virus. As I was reading the symptoms, I realized that I may have it. I ate at an indian food buffet on Saturday. Since Monday night, I've had the worse runs. It's horrible. Every time I eat something, it just goes right through me. My stomach has been all crampy, and I've been passing gas like anything. GROSS! It's a good thing I don't live with anyone. How embarrassing to be passing gas all night long.

The virus is supposed to only last from 24-60 hours, so by tomorrow it should be gone. At work today, I got all hot and fevery as well, and I think I had a low grade temperature.

Now I'm like freaking out and never eating at a buffet again. You just can't trust the cleanliness of your fellow diners, and although my symptoms were mild, I definitely don't want to go through this again.

I'm looking at three apartments starting on Friday. One in the neighborhood, which isn't ideal, but I'm very curious about, and two on Saturday. None of them are really ideal actually, at least not on paper, but doesn't hurt to see what's out there. It's like job hunting. When I was job hunting, I interviewed a lot at jobs I didn't want, just for interview practice. My last three jobs were places I'd gone to just to practice interviewing, so I know I should be open and look at all vacant apartments out there.

I told my rock star drummer friend K I wanted to move, and he warned me not too. He said that because the economy is so bad right, and so many people are being laid off, there'll be a glut of apartments on the market cheaper than the ones I'm seeing now. Then on the radio today I heard the head of a San Francisco church that gives grocery bags out to poor people say, that he's never seen lines of people needing free food like this in 40 years, and most of the people are young too.

My rock star drummer friend says that if I get laid off suddenly and I move, I'll be stuck paying higher rent, which would be a dumb idea. He's probably right, but I just can't stand my place anymore. The people upstairs were deliberately stomping above after 10 pm at night. God, they are so rude. And I'm evil as well, and just turn up my stereo since sound travels up. That's how bad it's gotten. And what's laughable is that the whole sound problem could be solved if the people upstairs just bought an area rug. Maybe they like the hardwood floors, maybe they're just plain rude and stupid and unaware that someone lives below them and I can hear every footstep they make especially when they wear their shoes late at night. Who konws what their problem is. I just want out of there as soon as possible.

I know rents are coming down because I've seen apartments that are bigger than mine for rent costing as much as my building was charging in 2000, and my building always prices themselves below the market. I saw two bedrooms apartments for the price of a one bedroom, in nice neighborhoods, with prices from 2000.

I've only been apartment hunting since last week, and I've already seen people having to lower their prices on their rentals. There is no one out there who can afford these prices anymore. I'm looking at a place on Friday, where the landlord had to lower the price by $50. I've never seen that happen in San Francisco ever. I've seen For Rent signs on some buildings for months, probably because and landlord is too greedy and doesn't want to lower the price. Some landlords are offering the first month free and other perks. The apartment above me sat empty for three months, which is extraordinary, since my landlord charges rents below the market rates.

Now I bet you're thinking, why didn't I move upstairs? Well, because the last two families who lived up above me had carpet and I never heard them. There wasn't a reason to move. Now I've got totally rude chick from hell living upstairs from me without carpet, and believe me, it's shocking and eye opening to hear how thin walls are between our apartments. There was a family of four who used to live above me, and I didn't even know they were up there, and that there were so many of them. I didn't find out until they moved out, and I was amazed that I never heard the two kids or the parents. I wish the family were still there. There were good neighbours. But from all the websites on housing and insulation I've been reading, there are a ton of rude people out there who don't care they they disturb their neighbours. I've just been spoiled I guess, by caring and polite upstairs neighbours over the years, and I miss them.

My drummer friend guy called me last night and had this totally wild story to tell. My rock star drummer friend is a gas. His claim to fame is he was the one time drummer for the group Kansas, when they went on tour to Europe. My friend K did the the total rock star thing with Kansas and, according to him, slept with tons of groupies and was a total dog with them. Who knows if his stories are true, but we've been friends for a long time and he's the sweetest guy. When we go to the movies, dinner, anywhere, he always pays and if I was in trouble, I know I could call him and he would come running.

Anyway, so K calls me last night and says he just got done dating this woman who used to be married to some executive at that huge computer company in San Jose, the one that starts with a C, the company whose tag line is "the worldwide leader in networking for the internet". I don't want to mention the company name, so I can't get in trouble.

Anyway, K meets this woman on Craig's List personals, and the woman is totally wealthy, lives on the Peninsula and knows all the 49ers. She's in sales and makes about $400K a year. The woman tells him that the exec at C Systems, whom she was married to for 24 years, was totally abusive to her.

Then K says that she spent about $10K on the party he was throwing, which I totally forgot about and didn't attend. She also bought all this stuff for his house. They dated for about 4 months, but she was a mess and bipolar because she was in that totally abusive marriage with the exec from C Systems.

And I'm like thinking, some rich executive ex-wife trolling on Craig's List Personals for dates? That's wild, if it's true. But then it's K, and you can never tell with him whether he could be exagerrating or just making stuff up. I'm so tempted to go to the C Systems website to find out the name of the executive, since K said he was up at the site in the executive bios. I mean, is this juicy gossip or what? The woman was apparently some kind of frustrated sexual maniac as well, although sweet and generous and totally bipolar. K said he even went with her to pick her kid up at some ex 49er football player house.

Part of me thinks no way would a woman like this go out with my friend K, because he's not that cute. Then I feel bad for thinking that, because K is just not that attractive to me but he probably is to a ton of women. He's an ex rock star drummer for god's sake. That has so much pull with women, including with me. And like I said, the guy is a total sweetie, he's very engaging and charming, smart, and totally generous. He's way too skinny for my taste, but some women like that. He kind of looks like Jerry Seinfeld, only he's not jewish.

I wonder if his story is true. I wish I'd gone to this party now so I could have seen her, but I totally forgot about it. K was kind of mad at me for not showing up, and not calling to excuse myself, but he said he's over it now.

K is a good friend, but who knows if I can believe his dating stories. The stories are highly entertaining and if he is making them up, I am so jealous of his great imagination.

This is scary. I received a letter from the Republican National Committee. Isn't that funny? The RNC sending a letter to someone, who lives in the most left wing whacko city in the world. What are these guys thinking? Okay, I'll confess my neighbourhood is about 30% republican, and yes during the 2000 presidential election there were a number of houses with Bush/Cheney signs up.

But I'm so not republican. I'm a registered democrat, and have been since I was old enough to vote. What are these people thinking? I was born and grew up in the only state that voted for McGovern in 1972. Come on. Okay, Hawaii does have a republican governor, but she's a woman, she used to work for the Teamster's Union, and she supports a woman's right to an abortion. Since the state has been in the economic toilet since 1997, I can see the voters wanting a change. Nothing moves voters to switch sides more than a bad economic climate.

Of course, she won every island except mine Kauai, but the island has always bucked the state trends.

Now I'm like thinking, how the hell did the RNC get my address? What republican mailing list am I on? And it's not like this is the first time either. They sent me a similar letter during the 1992 presidential election, and I was living in a different apartment back then.

I hate that my name and address are out there in some database, which could say what? Swing voter? Fits the demographic for people who might want to give money to the RNC, even though lives in the most democratic city in the country? Fits republican party income levels? Fits republican voting patterns, spending patterns, reading patterns, theatre going patterns, movie viewing patterns? What? What does the RNC have on me, that makes them even remotely think I would ever give money to them? What?

Either the RNC has something legitimate on me, or they better hire some temps to clear out their bad databases, or hire a DBA to fix their databases, or stop buying those worthless mailing lists that has the names of people who would never ever give money to them.

I've been checking apartment listings for the last two days. It's kind of fun to see what's out there, since I haven't apartment hunted in 7 years. I'm probably going to end up paying more than I want to for a bigger place, but I'm okay with that. It's not like I can't afford it, because I can, I just won't be able to save as much money as I want to. Once I pay off the car, which is in a couple of years, I'll have more financial breathing room. I an always move again if I want. I really don't see San Francisco rental prices going up anytime soon.

The experts are predicting that the housing market is going to come down. From the wordings of rental ads, and all the bargains that are being offered, landlords are starting to get desperate. I think in a month or two, they'll get even more desperate and rental prices will come down. I've already seen rentals for 2000/2001 prices. The real estate market is always two years behind the financial markets, so rents should really be coming down by the first quarter of 2003. I don't think the economy is going to improve anytime soon, at least not in the SF Bay Area. Sad for ssome people, but great for apartment hunters like me.

I had a writing group meeting tonight. I love the people in my writing group. We've known each other for three years now, and have been a group for two years. It's really amazing to be friends with other people who are trying to write and trying to create. I know my friends and loved ones mean well and support me, but none of them write. None of them relate to what I'm going through as a writer like my writing group.

We are a diverse group, each with our own ideas of what we want to write and how we want our creative expression to be in this world, but at the same time we're all artists with a common goal, a common struggle, and as I discovered tonight, on the Myer Briggs scale, we're NF's, intuitive feelers. That's so cool. I'm close on the F/T scale to a T, but my F wins out. I can logically analyze a situation, and I do that first, but then I step back and I let the feeling of the situation decide my final action.

Writers, artistis are a strange breed. Someone in the group said that NF's make up only 10% of the population, something I didn't know. 10%. Well in my writing group NF's are 100%. So what does that mean?

For statistical purposes, I'm an ENFJ sometimes and an INFJ other times, depending on my mood. I've tested both either way. For the Enneagram, I'm a four with an five wing; the artist, romantic with an intellectual bent. I love personality tests, don't you?

The wind is howling outside, and it's still raining. It's been raining here since Friday, and it's not supposed to stop till Tuesday. The commute tomorrow morning is going to be bad.

At church today, the pastor mentioned that there was tension going on between him and some of the church members. I had no idea this was going on. You can't escape politics, even at the church level. I was skeptical about the new pastor myself, but now that I've gotten to know him, I really like him. The guy is really smart, he's grounded and practical, and I think his heart is definitely in the right place.

He said tension between members and a new minister always come up, so it's not unusual. I have no idea what the tension is all about. The new pastor is granted a little more conservative than our last one, but I think his conservatism is in keeping with the times. I might have to do a little investigating to find out who's he feuding with in the congregation, because I'm so curious to find out who he's have disagreements with.

The new pastor totally emphasizes the Holy Trinity of the father, son and Holy Spirit. He said in Kerygma class, that some of the staff are resistant to emphasizing the Holy Spirit. I don't know why. Christianity is based on the Holy Trinity, and all three parts of it need to addressed. I mean, why wouldn't you want to invite the God the Father, Jesus Christ the son, and Holy Spirit into your church meetings. The Holy Trinity is like the three sides of a triangle; take one point away and the whole thing falls apart.

I think that the new minister is having tensions with the more radical left of our congregation. We don't have very many, as my church tends to be mainstream to conservative in view, but hey it's San Francisco, and there's a always few left wing whackos in any group.

It's bad when people leave the church to join other congregations, but it's a free country and there are a ton of churches in San Francisco. If there are disgruntled members, they should leave. No one is putting a gun to their head so they stay. I'm a hard one, when it comes to stuff like this. There are left wing oriented type churches in the City, and if a churchgoer wants that type of environment, they should seek them out instead of trying to turn a mainstream/conservative more to the left.

I saw Harry Potter, and I really loved it. Some kids and their parents walked out, I think becausefor very young children the movie is pretty spooky. Harry Potter is definitely for mature 8-year olds and up.

The actors are going up really fast. The Ron Weasley actor had a crackly voice, probably because he's entering puberty. The other actors are growing up as well, and I don't know how much longer they'll be able to play their parts without looking too old for them.

It was sad to see Richard Harris on screen, and knowing that he was sick during the filming of the moive and would die later. He didn't look like the same Professor Dumbledore from the first movie.

The movie makes the confrontation that Harry has with his muggle guardians more vivid, and sad. His guardians treat him so badly. What the muggle guardians do to Harry Potter amount to child abuse in my eyes.

I think it's going to storm all night, and I'm praying that the electricity stays one. I hate having to take a shower in the dark, especially in the morning.

I just measured myself again, and since October 25, I've lost 5.25 inches. I thought I was getting smaller, so I wanted to measure myself to make sure. It's nice to know that even though my weight loss is going ever so slowly, I'm at least losing inches even though I'm only four pounds lighter.

Here's the scariest part. Since May 29, 2001, I've lost 34.25 inches. That's almost 3 feet of me of me gone. 3 feet! It's hard to imagine I was almost 3 feet bigger than I am now, except I've dropped at least two to three sizes. I'm 1.5 inches away from my hip size in high school, which is wild to me. I wonder what my measurements will be when I hit my weight goal of 130 lbs. I can't wait to find out.

That screenwriting seminar I took today from the UCLA professor was fantastic! It was definitely worth every penny. The guy is a tenured professor and has taught at UCLA for over 25 years. He knows George Lucas and helped write "American Graffiti". The Wall Street Journal calls him one of Hollywood's powerbrokers in the world of screenwriting. The works of his students include recent movies like Spiderman, Panic Room, The Road to Perdition, Repo Man, Real Women Have Curves and Highlander.

I loved the guy. He is so spiritual. In fact, he's the most spiritual writing teacher I've ever come across, which is so shocking and ironic since Hollywood is considered by some one of the most unspiritual industries on earth. Here's some things that he said, and I'm using my own words.

Don't afraid to put God in your work. I recently discovered God myself in the last few years. Why should God only belong to the right wing conservatives?

I was in Washington DC and heard Martin Luther King Jr. give his famous "I have a dream speech."

A movie is a romanticization and idealization of the human experience.

Writers get paid to daydream, and the writer's job is to get the daydream into the head of your reader/audience.

The beautiful thing about being a writer is you can be anybody. (He didn't spout the political correctness drivel that you can only write personal experiences that you've had, like if you're white you can't write about the african american experience, or if you're a woman you can't write about the male experience.)

Art is the lie that tells the bigger truth. Writers get in trouble when they try to be too truthful to the data. Play fast and loose with the experience. Lie about the data, but be completely truthful about the feeling. (This is why you don't have to always base your writing on personal experience. Writing fiction like a screenplay is a lie. The "real" truth only applies if you're writing a documentary."

Art is about reaching as many people as possible. Film is a populist art. The great works like the Greek dramas and Shakespeare were all popular in their day in the lifetime of the writer, and were commercially successful. A successful screenwriter reaches as many people as possible. Your script has to raise enough money to support the enterprise. (He debunked the whole myth of art having to be obscure and commercially unsuccessful to be good.)

Kramer vs Kramer is about how commitment to love can make your career soar. Love and commitment is not a trap, lt will not limit you; it will expand you.

To be a successful writer, you need a litte bit of talent, a lot of discipline and a ton of courage.

I loved it when he said "Don't be afraid to put God in your work." Wow, what he said is so refreshing. My screenwriting teacher in SF told me my screenplay is my take on the Prodigal son story from the bible. She even reads the book of Proverbs to get story ideas.

But in a recent screenwriting group meeting, someone said that a film was "too christian" for them, and said it was such disdain and disgust. That person totally freaked me out. I started to get discouraged about the way I write, because I can't help be influenced by my christian upbringing and christian beliefs. I was afraid to be part of that group, and have my screenplay critiqued by that person. I let her remark make me feel ashamed of my work, which I know is bad and wrong, but that's what happened.

And now here comes this guy, who is intimately connected with the Hollywood film industry, saying that "it's okay to put God in your work." That person from the screenwriting group has never sold a script to Hollywood, but did write and produce a self financed independent film. This guy from UCLA has influenced Hollywood screenwriters with successful films for over 25 years, and has helped write successful commercial films himself. I think I believe the UCLA guy more than I believe the person from my screenwriting group. The UCLA professor totally validated me and my way of writing, and that validation was so worth the money I paid for the seminar and them some. In fact, what he said was "priceless" to me.

I finished watching the last episode of the SciFi Channel series "Taken". I loved the story structure, and how everything was strung together. The story takes places over 50 years, and it was a good lesson in making sure elements that were in the beginning of the story are carried through the years. The writer of "Taken" did it with phrases, and a simple thing like earrings made into the shape of the Texas lone star.

I wonder what all the UFO people are thinking about "Taken". What about the reaction of the people who are actual alien abductees? I really enjoyed the story, and the ending leaves it open for the SciFi channel to do sequels or even a series.

Do aliens exist? I don't know. Whenever I think about this question, I think of that line from the movie "Contact" where Jodie Foster says I think, "If it's empty up there, it's a hell of a waste of space."

Here's some news on a republican pundit whom I actually kind of like, Mary Matalin Leaves White House Post. I don't why I like Mary Matalin, but I just do. Maybe it's because I love the fact that she's married to Democrat consultant, James Carville. I don't agree with any of Matalin's views, but I like watching her argue, especially when she's arguing with her husband. It's great how those two can fiercely argue like that, and still be married and raise a family of two daughters.

I just spoke to a friend of mine, whose faith is much stronger than mine. He told me the following, which makes so much sense:

1) maybe I'm having problems with my apartment because God wants me to move out my apartment and into a better place;
2) maybe I'll get laid off from my job because God wants me to work on the two novels that I started and never finished;
3) I don't know what God's plan is for my life, but I'm not helping myself any if I fight and fear the changes in my life, which in the end may be better than what I've got in my life right now;
4) personal growth techniques can only take you so far, but so much of it depends on your own inner strength. But what if sometimes your strength gives out? That's where faith comes in. God is so much stronger than we are. It's like when you're watching a scary movie, and you get so caught up in the movie and you get all scared because you forget you're watching a movie. God can help you step back, and remind you that it's only a movie. Your faith in God can help you step back and see options that you hadn't thought of before, or see roads that you thought were closed to you.

Thank god for my friend whose faith is way stronger than mine. I also went to the Wednesday night prayer service, and it was a healing service. I don't usually ask for healing, but I went up last night and asked that my living situation be prayed for. The prayer thing totally works! I only do it when I'm totally desperate which isn't very often, but the few times I've done it, my situation either radically improved or my outlook completely changed. Prayer definitely works!

Another great article from the LA Times, Searching for a happiness strategy. I definitely need a "happiness strategy" right now.

Hear's a great story from the LA Times on Nancy Pelosi and San Franicisco Politics.

If you believe the republicans when they say that San Francisco is out of step with the rest of the country, then why does San Francisco always win as the place most people want to move to? If the rest of the country hates San Francisco politics so much, then why do people want to move here? Every day on my commute I see license plates from all over the country, which tells me that people keep moving here, even though the economy is not doing that great right now and the everything here is so very, very expensive.

It's a conundrum.

More on Guam from the FEMA webisite, Federal Agencies Mobilize To Assist Guam After Devastation By Super Typhoon.

The remnants on the storm are on its way to California. They're forecasting a serious storm on Saturday and on Monday. I'll be in a screenwriting seminar all day Saturday, and I'll probably have to deal with the storm coming home. My life is getting better every day, isn't it?

I just heard on the radio that there was typhoon that hit the island of Guam, and 2,000 homes were destroyed. The radio reporter said they were flying in a hospital to the island, because the Guam Memorial Hospital is not functioning. This sounds bad.

The noisy upstairs neighbours are driving me crazy. Last night they came and stomped about in their shoes. I ended up hitting my ceiling with the broomstick to tell them to quiet down, but of course they didn't. I hate my apartment, and it's freaking me out. I need the place where I live to feel safe and secure, and they've completely destroyed it for me.

For the first time ever, I don't even feel like buying a tree for Christmas. I usually buy a tree, decorate it, and even put up colourful Christmas lights. But I'm so upset about hating my life and apartment right now, that I can't do it.

I remember visiting a friend's apartment, and it was undecorated. My friend said the apartment didn't feel like home to her, so she didn't feel like putting up pictures or investing money to make it look better. At the time, I didn't understand her feelings. Now I do. Why should I spend the money to buy a tree, and put up Christmas lights, which are a big in the wazoo to hang anyway, when I don't feel like happy in my apartment, and it's not the sanctuary from the world I thought it was.

I won't pull a total Scrooge for Christmas. I always buy a couple of poinsettias anyway, and they're festive enough. I decided not to even give gifts to my building manager and building owners, which I've done every year since I moved in. I complained about the people upstairs being noisy, and nothing has changed. They probably wouldn't even notice or care that they don't get a present from me or not.

God, I'm in such a bad mood. I need the place where I live to feel safe, secure and like a sanctuary, and now it's turned into one humongous hell hole. I'd love to move, but things are still unstable at work. Rumors are going around that they might close the office. I'll be okay financially, but only if I can keep paying the same amount for rent.

I used to be afraid of getting laid off, but with unemployment and at least three months of severance and my vacation pay, if I got laid off in March 2003 (which is the month the rumor mongers are saying the office will close) I could afford to stay home and not work till 2004. The last time the company laid people off, they gave everyone three months severance. I hope they do the same if they close my office. The economy in the SF Bay Area is so bad right now, I might not have a choice but to stay home and be unemployed. At least I'll be able to afford it. I mean, I'll have to lead this incredibly frugal, cheap and budget driven life, but at least I'll be to do it. It's my one and only bright spot in these uncertain times.

I've never not worked. The most I've ever gone without working is six weeks, at least since I've been on my own, and I spent those six weeks on vacation. I was in Hawaii for two weeks, and then I flew to Bali for a month. I'm glad of glad I made my Bali trip when I did. I would be afraid to travel there now, because of the recent terrorist bombing and all of their civil unrest. Bali was such peaceful country when I was there; there was no violence whatsoever. Now that's all changed, just like my living situation.

I guess it's not going to be that much of merry Christmas for me.

I found this on a site I visit every day. It's very funny.

A few observations on newspapers:

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave LA to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are Democrats.

10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

Let's see. I read the SF Chronicle, it's the local paper, the New York Times, The LA Times and sometimes The Washington Post. So what does that make me?

I'm debating whether to buy those Lands' End size 10 pants. I hate the way my pants look. The butt part does not fit at all, and they look so baggy. If they don't fit in four or five months, then I'll just have to buy more pants.

I'm trying to hold off buying clothes until I decide to stop losing weight, but it's hard with everything I own starting to look too big and baggy on me. The extra large clothes I own are just hanging on me.

I may go through my closet and get rid of everything that's too big, too old, and I don't totally love. I could donate the clothes to charity for the tax deduction.

Part of me wants to hold on to my big clothes, just in case the weight come back, but I'm determined that the weight will never come back. I just don't know what size I'll eventually end up being, but it will definitely never be an extra large.

Size 10 or 8 wouldn't be too bad. I could live with either size.

A rabbi from an adult jewish learning programs website down the Peninsula came across my blog rants about Rainbow Grocery on Google. He thanked me, and then asked if he could pass it on for others to read. I'm not sure what rant of mine he was referring to, but I told him feel free to pass it along. I'm flattered that he found one of my posts worthy of passing on to someone, and of course, so touched that he thanked me for what I wrote. A rabbi too, how flattering is that!

Of course now I'm like panicing, because I'm like such a bad editor of my own posts. I hope if he finds grammatical errors, he fixes them before he passes my posts on.