I am in a oddly silent mood today. I didn't feel like posting last night either, but here's a recap. Tom Stoppard was great. He sat on stage with Carey Perloff, the ACT head chick, for about an hour and talked about his play. The last 15 minutes was devoted to questions from the audience. Tom Stoppard has delicious english accent. I think my dialect acting teacher would have called it a "regimental accent". He rolled his r's, he said "um" and paused before every sentence, as if every word and thought mattered to him. He used big words, which is rare in celebrity type interviews.

Other things of note. He spend three years researching before he writes a play on a subject that he knows nothing about. He said that "narrative structure or the architecture" of his plays, is the most important thing to him and allows him to create stories. Perloff said he was the one of the few writers, who neatly and seemlessly ties up all the details and loose ends in his plays.

I ran into two people I know, but decided not to speak to them. On the way to the theatre, I saw this guy whom I met in acting class. I had to do a scene with him, and he flaked out on me. He's a nice, and has even been in a few plays, but he's very strange, and I didn't want to deal with him.

At the Tom Stoppard event, I saw this woman who I used to work with at my last job. She used to always put on airs about how rich she was, and how she and her husband went to symphony and just did all these great things. No one in my group could stand her. She was also a serious food nazi, as she seemed to be allergic to every food on the planet, so eating out with her was so unpleasant to say the least. I spent to many lunch hours hearing her torture waiters, and then complain endlessly about the food when she got it. A friend in the office told me that she was spreading vicious rumors about me in the office. I didn't want to speak to her either, even though she was sitting two rows from me. She's the type of person I don't feel guilty about ignoring. She kept looking at me, but I just looked the other way. It's mean I know, but I don't see why I should be civil to someone who was spreading a vicious rumors about me in our former place of employment.

The Tom Stoppard event was kind of like a who's who in SF Bay Area theatre. There were many actors there I recognized from plays, who were part of the audeince. I think that the man who played King Lear in a production last year, was sitting in my row. This man is a great actor, and always gets cast in a major role every year.

Then I watched the Civil War series. The Battle of Gettsburg was so interesting. If Robert E. Lee hadn't miscalculated the strength of the confederate army, I wonder if the civil war would have gone on longer. Gettysburg was such a turning point in the war. I sat watching the events unfold on the third day of the Battle of Gettysburg, and said "God, the Union army was so lucky!"

Shelby Foote mentioned that Willaim Faulkner wrote in his novel "Intruder in the Dust", that every southern boy could envision himself at Gettyburg on the morning of the third day feeling that the South still had a chance to win. Pickett's Charge was a tragic disaster, and I cannot imagine what the common confederate soldier must have thought as he marched into what he knew was his certain death. The confederate army was slaughtered, literally and emotionally. The narrator said that whole regiments were wiped out during Pickett's Charge.

I would like to watch that movie "Gettysburg", but the Blockbuster I rent movies from has the box for it but not the videos. I should probably ask one of the clerks where the movie is.

I saw a blue bird on the way to the work. Whenver I see a blue bird, I always say to myself "it's the blue bird of happiness and it's a good sign". Blue birds are so rare here.

From a NY Times online article on Dr. Phil McGraw, the "life strategist" who has his own show on TV.

"Dr. Phil McGraw argues that the key to anyone's authentic self can be reduced to "10 defining moments, 7 critical choices, 5 pivotal people."

I've been thinking about what I would put on these lists.

Off the top of my head for 7 critical choices:
1) going to college where I did;
2) moving to San Francisco instead of New York City;
3) leaving my long term five year job, where I was comfortable and well paid, but unbelievably miserable;
4) pursuing creativity which I'm now exploring with writing;
5) decided to divorce, because I was so incredibly unhappy.

Off the top of my head for 5 pivotal people:
1) my acting teacher who told me I would be great writer one day;
2) my junior high english teacher who told me smile and be proud of where I came from, my background and what I would accomplish in the future;
3) the priest who served our church throughout most of my youth, whose sermon on the The Lord's Prayer, shaped much of my spiritual thinking and leanings.

Off the top of my head for 10 defining moments:
1) my public relations failure - when the peace rally that I was organizing took place on the same day as the Tianemen Square incident and we got zero publicity and I took a ton of heat for it - my most memorable professional failure;
2) deciding to walk out on my alcoholic boyfriend, whom I loved very much, because being with him was killing me;
3) looking down a cliff into the ocean one night at Big Sur, when the vastness and beauty of the world hit me for the first time;
4) noticing the mountains in the back of the mall back home on Kauai, and watching a white bird fly across, reminding me that I was born and grew up in one of the most beautiful places in the world.

I'll have to think about these lists some more. Perhaps my off the top of my head lists will change, once I really sit down and think about what defines my "authentic self".

Blogger and Blogspot were acting so wonky yesterday. It was so slow and freaking me ever so incredibly out. Today it's much better.

I can't get enough of that Daniel Beddingfield song "Gotta Get Through This". It's my theme song for this very unstable period of my work life. I try not to worry about work too much, but it's hard. I've stayed in this job longer than I did in my previous two jobs. It's just been so nice to be stable just for a little while.

I've made the dance station a preset on my radio, and when NPR is doing something boring in the morning like pimping music or books, I put on the dance channel. NPR was pimping a blue grass artist this morning, and I was almost tempted to listen to their report, but when I switched to the dance station and the Daniel Beddingfield song came on. I felt like I was in a musical, singing along and driving along 19th Avenue in the very heavy fog. I love fog, but not when I have to drive through it in rush hour traffic in the morning.