Blogspot is slow again. I can't read anyone's blog. Not sure what is going on, other than there was a blogspot server maintenance on Monday. They've been slow since they started offering more space if you pay. Maybe the paid blogs have priority on the server.

I wish I knew what was wrong!

It's true, I am anal. I've calculated that if my blog limit is 100 kb month, I can post about 3,200 kb a day. The post below was worth about 1,600 or 2% of my limit. I will now have to check regularly to make sure I don't go over limit.

Musical selection tonight: Miles Davis 4 cd box set - Blue Note and Capitol Recordings

I was thinking of the screenwriting cutie, whom I had crush on earlier this year, again. He was a big jazz fan.

I heard Gun~n~Roses' version of "Knocking on Heaven's Door" on the way home today, and thinking being in crush with the screenwriting hottie was kind of like knocking on heaven's door in a odd sort of way. Not that screenwriting hottie boy was the most perfect match for me, but he reminded me that my idea of heaven on earth is being married to my soul partner, whoever he may be.

I had a good night last night. I started a new fictional short story tentatively titled "Spooning with My Mother". This story will be about a divorced mother with a 13 year old daugher, who spooned with her own mother at that age. Some of my friends from divorced families have gone through this experience with their mom, and it has always fascinated and at the same time repulsed me. I've never spooned with my mom, and I can't imagine ever doing so either. That sounds bad I know, because all human beings need comfort I guess, but it just sounds so odd to me. My family is also not demonstrative physically, so my mother hugging me is a strange thing. I guess one day I'll write a story about finding it strange to be hugged by your own mom. It's not like my mom never hugged me, because she did when I was little, but when I entered school all that physical type of affection stopped.

I wrote 1,100 words of my story, which is so cool. I'd like to write 1,000 words a day, so last night was definitely a good beginning.

Then I worked out for 40 minutes or the equivalent of about two miles, something I stopped doing for about three weeks. I'm starting again only because it helps me to sleep at night if I work out before I go to bed, and I kind of missed doing it. I walk four miles a day, you'd think that would be enough to tucker me out, but obviously not.

Then I started on my new book, "Things Fall Apart" by Chinua Achebe.

I'm also gave myself half an hour of spiritual/religious time, where I pray or meditate or read spiritual/religious type books. It's a practice I got into when I was 23, and it really helps me to stay calm and be in a good mood. I used to be regular with this habit for years, then I got out of it, and now I do it off and on. I'd like to get back into doing it every night. It seems a good habit to start up again in these uncertain times.

And then I went to bed, and that's my way too boring life.

Just by chance I checked the size limiit for my blog, and in both August and September, my blogs were over 100 mb. That's a lot of posts. I am so over my limit, and if you go over the 100 MB limit, blogger charges you $3.

I've been wondering why these past two months, I didn't have the energy to write. Well, there's my answer. I'm blogging way too much. I hate to think that my creative energy is limited, but I guess it must be. I work a full time job, and I have only so much energy to devote to my writing. The two months of 100 mb blogging led me to my first published piece in a major US newspaper, so it can't be all that bad.

With that said, I will not be posting as much or perhaps just posting shorter entries. If left to my own devices, I could blither and blather on about an any number of topics for pages on end. I really am that opinionated and judgmental about life, I'm afraid.

I'm trying to look at the positive aspect of this whole thing. Keeping my blog to under 100 mb forces me to post only those thoughts which absolutely have to be posted, and not just every single thought that pops into my head. This new stricture will help me to learn to be succinct, to the point and direct. Not an easy task, as I'm sure you've noticed.

I think I can still post every day. I'll just have to make shorter posts. And it's not even the $3 that's upsetting me, because that's a small amount. It's the thought that my creative energy is going into my on line journal, and not my stories, my screenplays or my novels. Although I do so love my blog, it's my creative that I think I really love and therefore should command the majority of time and energy.

So here's to shorter and more succinct, to the point, and direct posts.