So I have so "instant karma". Like I can't get away with anything bad without instanly getting caught. I wouldn't wish instant karma on my worst enemy, it's that bad.

Anyone who says San Francisco is a big city has obviously never lived here. San Francisco is a city made up of small towns/neighbourhoods linked together. It totally feels like you're living in a small town sometimes instead of a city with a population of over 850,000.

There is no anonymity in San Francisco because you run into people you know all the time. It's horrifying. I stopped going to Whole Foods for awhile, because I kept running into guys I had dated or people I knew but didn't want to have conversations with.

There is nothing more embarrassing than hiding in the back of some store, hoping your ex doesn't see you and praying that he leaves the store right away so you can get your grocery shopping done.

At church today, someone came up to me and said she saw me walking up Fillmore early this morning going to the sister church. I didn't say anything, because I was like so shocked. Then she laughed and said, "it's good to go church shopping." How embarrassing!

The only reason she saw me was because her mother attends our sister church and teaches preschool there, and they live in the neighbourhood.

It's a time like this that I wished I had moved to Manhattan instead of San Fran. I grew up in a small town, where everybody knew who you were and knew your business. One of my biggest youthful dreams was to a move to a big city where I could be anonymous, and not be somebody's daughter or somebody's relative. I wanted to live freely and not have anyone know what I was doing.

But in San Francisco it's practically impossible. I can't even church shop without members of my own church finding out. I so hate this small town living! I hate life in the San Francisco fishbowl.

I bought a three-ballet ticket series with a friend of mine, and instead of me having to pay, my friend paid for my portion and said it was her Christmas present to me.

Ballets tickets for Christmas ... tres cool!

In the NY Times Online edition this morning, there was an article entitled, Judging 2003's Ideas: The Most Overrated and Underrated.

This idea was considered underrated, and I think it's the most exciting political movement I've read about in ages.

"Hip-Hop Politics

Countless local hip-hop activist groups around the country are on the cutting edge of grass-roots activism and politics that matter most to the hip-hop generation. Organizations like the San Francisco-based Ella Baker Center for Human Rights; the 21st Century Leadership Movement, based in Selma, Ala.; and the Hip-Hop Political Action Committee in Chicago have been in the trenches laying the groundwork for organizing the hip-hop generation into a concrete voting bloc. Four signs point to their growing influence: Active Element Foundation's publication of the "Future 500," which documents grass-roots youth activists nationwide; presidential candidates arming themselves with hip-hop to reach out to young voters; the much-discussed National Hip-Hop Political Convention in the works for June 2004; and the often-overnight platinum sales of hip-hop CD's that, once channeled into votes, will mean the end of politics as usual."

I wonder if Howard Dean will suddenly admit he likes rap/hip hop music, like the way he's now saying he's a JC believer.

I just remembered that while I was at that one corporate job during the Clinton years, I had to keep my mouth shut at meetings that I was a Clinton supporter.

I would be at these meetings with corporate directors, vice presidents, executive VPs, and the president/CEO of the company, and they were all republican hating Clinton people. And there I was, a lonely analyst, and probably the only Clinton supporter. Those guys would after awhile would start Clinton bashing, and I would just sit there and say nothing and smile.

Those guys all outranked and outearned me 4 or more times to 1. My boss, my boss' director, and the VP our oof our department were all there, and they Clinton bashed their hearts out. What could I have said? They signed my paycheck.

Not that they cared what I thought anyway. I was a woman and a lonely analyst. What did I know?

My boss knew and he used to tell not to pay attention to any of it. It was all just testerone flying around and the guys were one upping each other, and besides, they all figured I was a Clinton supporter anyway.

This was his way of trying to make me feel better, but it didn't help except I did learn to smile and agree and keep my mouth shut when I didn't agree with someone. A lesson that has served me very well in corporate america, I might add, because I kept getting promoted yearly at that place.