My weekend was amazing! I was expecting somebody who looked like Tommy Lee from Motley Crue, and instead I got a blondie boy Vince Neil type but with blue eyes ... which is like so Southern California surfer boy!

It's hard when you're meeting someone for the first time after chatting away and emailing for two months the way we did. There are so many expectations about what each person should look like, be like, it takes awhile to settle yourself down.

I knew within five minutes, like I always do, that the sex part was going to be really good. My sexdar is almost never wrong. I thought it was going to be really good just from talking to him on the phone, and then seeing him in person just confirmed my feeling. After an hour together while we were walking around King Tut exhibit, I got excited when our hands accidentally brushed, but then M-Square said he was trying to send me signals. I picked the signal up but I don't know, it was confusing to me because I had just met him and I didn't think it would work that fast.

We were so comfortable together, and yet not comfortable together. It's hard to explain. As the day progressed I became more comfortable with him, and by the end of the night I was pretty much lying with my head on his shoulder and caressing him, which was so cool. M-Square is a pretty touch feely king of guy and I really did want to hold his hand as we were going through the King Tut exhibit, but I felt it was just too soon.

King Tut was exhaustive. LACMA did a great job of crowd control by having timed exhibit entrances, but there were three times when the exhibit just got way too crowded. M-Square hates crowds so it was hard for him, but he was good and managed to keep it together until the exhibit ended.

Then he did something really sweet and thoughtful by buying for me scarab green earrings made of limestone with a little amethyst. The sales woman in the exhibit gift shop was so nice. She picked out the really nice ones for me, and M-Square helped me pick one out. I wasn't expecting a present from him this soon, but he said he really wanted to buy me something from the King Tut exhibit so I told him he could buy me earrings. There were a couple of women trying them on, and we were talking and they were going to buy them so I had to have a pair as well.

His place has steps down to a beach in the Laguna Beach area, so we did the Southern California date thing and walked on the beach hand in hand as the sun was setting. But then I spoiled it by somehow stepping in dog doo, which just annoyed me because I felt like Will Smith in the movie "Hitch" and was doing all the wrong things on my first date.

Walking on the beach at sunset was so nostalgic for me, especially when I saw these boys sandsurfing. I sandsurfed as a kid with a wooden round disk, but these young kinds had mini surfboards that were flat and you could throw on the sand as the waves are hitting the shore and surf on the water retreating back to the sea. Those kids were so cute, and they knew we were watching so they put on a good show.

More to come ... but I flew home on the 1 pm flght today very happy and still into M-Square as much as ever if not even more.

It is so hard to watch the news without crying. I didn't anything could be worse than 9/11 but now I wonder. So many lives lost, so many people having to relocate, anarchy abounds, this is what happens when civilizations goes. I've seen it in tv shows and movies but never thought to see in real life played 24/7 on the news.

Someone at work is challenging everyone to donate one day's pay to the people of New Orleans. Gas today for premium was up at $3.19 and regular at $2.99. I feel like people are scared and emotions are high at the consequences for our economy.

And in the midst of this I am so happy with M-Square and so excited to see him tomorrow. I feel ike we are really connecting after two months. It's been building ever so slowly and gradually that we each don't have time to panic yet about what we're doing. He is just the coolest, coolest, smartest guy! He is so quick on the draw and he remembers everything I've told him about myself, which is kind of scary.

He told me he thought my mind would be hardest thing to pin down, and I told him he was right. We are so alike and yet so different ... and we're both in transition which is kind of frightening.

I want it to work with him very, very badly! More than I've ever wanted it to work with any guy in my life. I'm even starting to think love doesn't necessary mean enslavement especially when you really love someone, and that compromise can be a good thing. But above all that kindess for another person's well being is the most important thing and that I have to remember this fact at every moment especially in this relationship with M-Square. We're so connected that I have to stay balanced because he'll feel it when I'm not, and probably more because I sometimes am so in denial about what I'm really feeling.

My prayers go out to the people of New Orleans and my friend at Wall of Sleep, and everyone else who is suffering from the effects of Hurricane Katrina.

Just watching the news is so depressing and frightening. I've never been to New Orleans and now who knows if I'll be able to visit it now and see a real Mardi Gras. I think that there will be serious consequences for the US economy because of the possible damage to the oil refineries and the loss of a major city like New Orleans.

M-Square is so great! He said he wanted to make sure he talked to me tonight because he sensed that I was having such a hard day. He is the perfect sweetie! And at the end of our conversation, he said that he was glad that he got me stop thinking about work for awhile.

I brought work home. That's how busy I am. I still have a proposal to read before I go to sleep because we're having three vendor presentations tomorrow. And in between the three presentations, I'm having a meeting and possibly one more meeting at lunch time. This is the busiest I've been in a long time. And I'm kind of freaking out about it because I'm interviewing to leave.

Plus dummy me scheduled a dentist appointment tomorrow afternoon so I could get my dental checkups out of the way before I changed jobs.

My boss' boss wants me to fly to DC for a conference next week to take the place of a medical director who may not be going. I was kind of interested in going because it's fun to travel for business, but now I don't want to. I think the medical director is going to end up going anyway and I don't want to go to a conference where I'll be the only non-clinician in the room. That's just way to embarrassing for me to not have the depth of knowledge that a clinician might have. It's something I don't think you can BS your way out of either.