It is so hard to watch the news without crying. I didn't anything could be worse than 9/11 but now I wonder. So many lives lost, so many people having to relocate, anarchy abounds, this is what happens when civilizations goes. I've seen it in tv shows and movies but never thought to see in real life played 24/7 on the news.

Someone at work is challenging everyone to donate one day's pay to the people of New Orleans. Gas today for premium was up at $3.19 and regular at $2.99. I feel like people are scared and emotions are high at the consequences for our economy.

And in the midst of this I am so happy with M-Square and so excited to see him tomorrow. I feel ike we are really connecting after two months. It's been building ever so slowly and gradually that we each don't have time to panic yet about what we're doing. He is just the coolest, coolest, smartest guy! He is so quick on the draw and he remembers everything I've told him about myself, which is kind of scary.

He told me he thought my mind would be hardest thing to pin down, and I told him he was right. We are so alike and yet so different ... and we're both in transition which is kind of frightening.

I want it to work with him very, very badly! More than I've ever wanted it to work with any guy in my life. I'm even starting to think love doesn't necessary mean enslavement especially when you really love someone, and that compromise can be a good thing. But above all that kindess for another person's well being is the most important thing and that I have to remember this fact at every moment especially in this relationship with M-Square. We're so connected that I have to stay balanced because he'll feel it when I'm not, and probably more because I sometimes am so in denial about what I'm really feeling.