Of course the day after I wrote that my job wasn't so bad, I had a really bad day at work. The senior VP of my division gets all freaked out because he thought I was going to program manage this vendor, yells at my director who then overreacts to the situation, and the next thing I know I am in someone's office trying to explain myself.

I was trying to fly under the radar at this crazy place, and I keep getting pulled in to weird stuff and vps throw my name about like it was garbage. I actually thought the senior vp didn't even know who the hell I was, but I guess not because he was talking about me.

I swear, people project onto me and ascribe more ambition to me than I've ever had. I just want to do my analytical work and be left one. I don't like being in the spotlight. I'd rather support people and have them take the heat and be on the front line. I like working behind the scenes. I don't need to manage or be known or get recoginition at his job.

It's not that I don't want recognition, sure I want that, but for my novels so a publisher will want to publish my books or make my script into a movie. I don't want "work recognition"! It's a huge bother and really not worth all that much effort unless you're going to use it to become a VP or something, or a director. I want to get paid and I want to leave my job at 5 pm and I don't want to deal with stupid political intrigue at work.

I feel like the universe is testing me and saying, "are you sure you want to stay at this pretty awful job, because it will get worse?" And I'm saying back, "I don't care about recognition, I want my free time, I want to be able to leave at 5 pm and not take work home, I want time to write my novels and screenplays and still be able to workout and lose weight on a daily basis. I want this job because I can do it with my eyes closed and I get paid enough to pay my bills and have a little bit left over. STOP TRYING TO TEST ME!"

Okay, it's been ages since I've been blogging and so much has happened. On January 9 I received a call from a company that I'd sent my resume to in 2005. What a hoot! They had kept it for what, two years, and now they were finally calling for an interview. Talk about flattering, and awkward too because the woman who tipped me off about the job no longer worked at the company. T worked directly for the CEO and they had a huge falling out and she quit in a huff, claiming that the CEO was trying to cheat her out of her commissions.

The CEO knew T and I were friends and even asked about her. How very weird and awkward because I'm sure he thought that T told me all kinds of horrible things about him, which was totally true. But I didn't want to let him know that. When he asked if I had talked to T in a long time, I truthfully told me I hadn't talk to her in a long tim which was actually true.

I went to a pre-interview on January 16 and decided that I did not want to work for another startup. I don't want to work 1o-12 hours a day and not having any energy and time for my novel writing. This was a big decision for me because 1) the job would have probably paid $5-10K more a year 2) I would have learned a tremendous amount and 3) I am so over my job right now. But ... it's hard to give up a job that I can do with my eyes closed, pays well and where I can leave at 5 pm and not take any work home. I am choosing my free time over a higher income, and this is something I would never have done three years ago.

It was a very tough decision because I had to give up so much of what I considered to an integral part of my work personna. Now I'm even thinking about trying to see if I can swing it with a part time job so I can have more time to write.

I was supposed to do a three-hour interview on January 24 and I told me today that due to personal reasons I did not want to continue the interview procees. Talk about strange because I know that I could have had this job if I wanted, Oh well. I suppose there is something to be said about having a job that allows me to live a more balanced life.

Then a firiend of mine saw a job advert for a job that would also sounded alright, until I realized that the job entailed sitting in 6 hour meetings every two weeks. I hate, absolutely hate meetings that go mor than two hours, so I told her thanks but no thanks.

I felt so flattered that this company was totally hot to hire me, and that has been a good feeling. But things have gotten better at work so I'm not as unhappy as I used to be.

I tried to post last night becauase it's been ages since I've written, but Blogger was not working quite right. What is up with that? But I saved what I wrote, and I will post it separately.

Happy New Years 2007! I'm at home watching the Rose Bowl. One of these days I'm going to see the Rose Bowl Parade in person so I can those beautiful floats made from flowers.

I went to a New Years Eve party which was nice and peaceful, until midnight when people were screaming "Happy New Years" all over Portrero Hills. At least there weren't any gunshots. I even drank a little champagne.

I am so bummed about going to work tomorrow. It was so relaxing to have the whole week off.

I am glad to see 2006 end, and am looking forward to a better 2007.