Happy New Year's to Everyone! I hope you are safe and happy tonight, and that you have love and success in the new year!

Don't forget those resolutions, and a gratitude list for all the things and people in your life that make you feel your life is great and wonderful!

All this talk of cloning reminds me of this BBC show I saw years ago called, "The Cloning of Joanna May", written by Fay Weldon. Weldon is a brilliant storyteller and writes the most amazing stories. The book as well as the show were very good.

In Joanna May, her ex-husband had her cloned three times and each woman had a part of her Joanna's personality but not the whole thing. It was a very, very interesting story about the consequences of cloning done in Weldon' smart and very cheeky style. Great ending as well, and quite unexpected really.

What is Evil?

My church yahoo group discussion board is having a spirited discussion on evil based on this excerpt from the NY Times.
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Evil is a dangerous word, if you fling it about irresponsibly. But it is an important word to keep in our moral vocabulary, because it sharpens our moral reactions and stiffens our moral resolve. The idea of ruthless malice, the love of death and destruction for its sake, constitutes a real category of human agency, and this is what the word evil is designed to connote.

It is a strong word for an extreme phenomenon. The English language can sometimes seem weak in its resources for the description of extreme wrongdoing, so we find ourselves reaching for alien words: pogrom, holocaust, ethnic cleansing, fascist, sadist, gulag, intifada. The word tragedy is often made to perform duties beyond its scope, with its suggestion of inevitability. (Atrocity is better, implying that someone committed an evil act.) The word terrorism is actually far too weak for what it denotes: not merely creating terror, but doing so by the calculated murder and maiming of innocents because they are innocents. So let's keep the old-fashioned word evil, and let's use it with all the seriousness and caution it requires.

Colin McGinn, professor of philosophy, Rutgers University
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I am guilty. I use the word evil quite a bit, and probably sometimes not for very "evil" things. The upcoming war with Iraq is fueling this discussion, and we are now all pondering "the just war" theory. "Are acts, themselves, good or evil, or do the consequences matter?", asks a member of my church. I think heinous acts have sometimes been committed in the name of good, and I'm sure the "good" people had the best of intentions at the time.

I went to Sears tonight and bought a pair of size 10 Lands' End black corduroy pants. The waist wasn't snug at all tonight, so I think that' s a good sign. I'm sick of my pants with their baggy butts. I tried on a pair of size 10 jeans as well that fit, but decided to wait on buying those.

Then I tried on some Lands' End knit pants in a medium petite, and they were so loose on me. It was shocking to think I coud actually wear a small, but Lands' End clothes must run very large. I want to buy more pants, but I'm afraid in a couple of months I'll have baggy bum syndrome again.

I may buy one more pair of khakis for work. I'm also thinking I should go and try on some Ralph Lauren jeans, since I may find a pair that actually fits now. I just bought a couple of pairs of jeans in the spring, so I'm bummed that they're now too big, even though I'm excited to be buying smaller clothes.

I also tried on some sweaters at Target, but I still need to lose more weight for my tops to look okay. Extra large is too big, but large is still snug. The best thing about being thinner is I can buy cheaper clothes, which still fit. The cheaper stuff isn't generously cut so you really have to be size it says. Actually, it's better if you're even smaller than the size since those cheaper clothes are cut so tiny. My own personal test for weight loss is when I'll be able to wear a medium Target sweater, and it will look great on me.

On a Monday Night football game that ultimately doesn't mean anything, it's still painful to watch the 49ers fall apart in the fourth quarter and to see St. Louis stage one of their usual comebacks.

This is not a good sign for the upcoming Giants game. You want to go into the playoffs with a win, and not a loss, don't you?

Ronn Owens is talking about that new Fox reality show "Joe Millionaire". I'm bad, but I am so looking forward to watching this show. The critics are already going wild. I loved Temptation Island, so I know I would love this show.

It's such a drag to be at work today. I should have taken the next two days off. Maybe next year.

Been watching football games all day, mostly to block the noise of the foot stomping, furniture moving monster that lives above me. The freak moves her furniture around every week, what's up with that? I've been hiding out in my dining room and lying on my fold out futon chair. I moved the chair in there so I wouldn't hear the freak upstairs stomping around, and it's working. I can hear her, but at least I don't feel like it's right over my head. I'm congratulating myself on this brilliant move of mine. My computer is in here too, so I can work in peace if needed.

And, I guess I had too many Maker's Mark Manhattans at my friend's cocktail party last night, because I woke up with a dizzying wicked hangover. Haven't had one of these in years. I think I only had four drinks, but I guess I'm getting old because I think one or two drinks is my limit, although my friend does make her manhattans very strong. Or maybe it's because it was brown liquor and I usually only drink vodka or wine or beer. Who knows? I just know I was severely hung over this morning, and watching football in bed was a delightful idea.

Anyway, watching all these football games makes me marvel at the game of football. The whole playoff scene was a trip. Miami beat New England, but because the NY Jets beat Greenbay, both Miami and New England were eliminated out of the playoffs. But if the NY Jets lost, they'd be in.

How weird is that? To win your game, but then get ousted out of the playoffs because some other team won. And the NY Jets look like they're peaking as well. The NY Giants too.

Is it Oakland's year? It would be interesting to watch Oakland play Tampa Bay, because of the John Gruden connection. Skip Bayless from the Mercury News was right. Oakland didn't need John Gruden, because they've done well without him.

Not sure about the 49ers though. They're a strong team, but other teams looks better. If they play the Falcons, they might get through that game. If they play the red hot NY Giants, well, then maybe next year. The 49ers are still a young team, and I think they need a couple more years before they become superbowl contenders. Maybe if they get a new defensive guy, they'd actually have a chance to win. I've never liked Jim Mora, and don't think he's brought anything to the 49er team.

It's a rainy day in San Francisco, so I'm listening to Mozart's Requiem for the Dead. It's appropriate rainy day music I think.

I had the weirdest dream this morning. I dreamt that the civic center part of downtown San Francisco was all giant condo buildings. It must have been a futuristic dream because there were electric and hover cars everywhere. I was looking for a new place to live, and was contemplating a top floor apartment with one heck of a view. I wish!

I'm supposed to go to a pre-New Year's eve cocktail party tonight, which I should go to just to put in an appearance, since it's being given by a very good friend of mine. I hope the rain stops by then.

I've been listening to futurists talking about the year 2003, and they don't have very good news. Everyone says we will go to war sometime between January and February, and most likely February 1 because it's a new moon. One futurist said the military has always started an attack on a new moon to provide cover for the stealth fighter planes. I wonder if this is true.

One interesting comment from one of them, Sean David Morton, was about the airline industry. Morton said that a group called the Carlyle group, a primarily Republican Billionaire Boys club run by Former Sec. of Defence Frank Carlucci and Former CIA Dir. "Buzzy" Kronengard, was buying up train companies like CSX. Apparently, this same Carlyle group SHORTED MILLIONS of dollars worth of AMERICAN and UNITED AIRLINES stock the DAY BEFORE the 9/11 Twin Towers attacks. Morton said if the Carlyle Group is investing in trains, then they're expecting something to happen to the airline industry, which most likely will be terrorist related.

I think the airlines industry is in serious financial free fall right now, and one more terrorist related incident like 9/11 will clinch it. I think the United Airlines bankruptcy will have far-reaching effects on the SF Bay Area and Chicago economies, and that we've only seen the tip of that financial disaster.

What's weird about all the futurists is they're all predicting doom and gloom. Usually they differ very greatly in their predictions, but not this time, and that's the most frightening part.

I still tend to believe that we should go to war with Iraq, but then you have the law of unintended consequences to deal with. Sean David Morton said the same thing. The terrorists, the Al-Queda network is the X-factor. Who knows how strong their response will be to an attack on Iraq? There are even rumblings in the conservative papers about what's going on politically in Iran, so I wouldn't necessarily rule out the war in Iraq spreading to Iran.

Morton also said that Osama Bin Laden is still alive, but would be caught or killed in early 2004 and that the Al-Queda network will go on without him.

It's grim news I know, but all futurists will tell you that the future is not set in stone, that it can still be changed. But perhaps not this war in Iraq. The only thing that could change our government's plans for war with Iraq, is North Korea detonating a nuclear device in the DMZ. And no one knows what North Korea is capable of at this point.

Check out the Top 10 Word Lists of 2002, from Your Dictionary. The Shrubmeister has contributed many of his own personal mangled words to the list. I like the phrases "for shizzle" and "rank and yank".

I'm finally at home checking email, and reading news from far and wide.

On Christmas eve, I went for a steak dinner with a friend to supposedly the best steak house in SF called Harris. They have their own ranch down south, where they get their beef from. I'm not a big steak eater, so it's kind of fun to go out every five years for special occassions to eat steak. Thank god they had petite steaks without bones, for non meat eaters like me.

We had cocktails to start. I had my usual, been drinking it since I was 21, vodka and tonic, and my friend had her newest drink, a Maker's Mark Manhattan. My drink was like 90% vodka and 10% tonic, the kind of drink that makes you sweat when you drink it.

Then we had crab cakes, because after all it is crab season here. They were made fresh and were very, very good. Then the steaks. I had my boneless tiny steak and my friend had some red blood icky giant prime rib thing, that didn't even look cooked, with creamed spinach and some nose clearing horseradish sauce. We split a bottle of very good merlot, and split a cream cheese cake with huckleberries and blueberries. What the heck are huckleberries?

Then it was off to church service, which was short and sweet, and interesting only because I saw a guy from our sister church there. Like what was a guy from our rival church doing at our service, when he could have been at his service? Very, very interesting.

On Christmas Day, I went over to another friend's house and we drank champagne mimosas, watched figure skating, and ate scrummy munchy things all day. We sat down for a late dinner of ham, sweet and regular potatoes, rolls, very good zinfandel and asparagus. Then for dessert, we had applecrisps and coffee with eggnog, and split open these cheesy english cracker things, which I was told are quite victorian. Then we talked about spending a christmas in London so we could have real english victorian crackers, and going to Fortnum and Mason or Harrods for tea.

And now I'm at home stuffed with food, and exhausted from too much eating and drinking.

Merry Christmas to all! I hope tonight you are happy and well! Check out NORAD tracks Santa. It's so cute!

Wouldn't it be nice if we still believed Santa Claus was real? Those were such innocent days.

DoD News Briefing - Secretary Rumsfeld and Gen. Myers for 12/23/2002. This is where Rumsey talks about the US fighting on two fronts, Iraq and North Korea. Scary!!!

Short posts for awhile. I'm over my posting limit by a couple of days, I should be at 69% and I'm at 79%. That's why linking is better than copying I guess.

I decided after long talks with friends over the weekend, that now is not a good time to move. Too many uncertainties in my life right now including my job, and what's going to happen once we go to war with Iraq. There will no doubt be retalliation from the Iraqis, it's just a matter of when and how many times. Who knows what more 9/11 disasters will do to the US economy, not to mention everyone's peace of mind. A friend is afraid of a nuclear strike, although I doubt that will happen. I'm more afraid of a biological or chemical weapon, or a dirty bomb.

Although SF is a high profile target, all the conspiracy/psychic futurists say it's either going to Colorado, Chicago or DC, or all three. Chicago because of The Chicago Board of Trade, which deals in agricultural and financial futures and options. Colorado because that's where the US government has their underground city in case of a nuclear attack. And DC, well because it's the capital.

Then there's the crisis happening in Korea. That's a major hot spot, and people are saying that right when we're in the middle of the iraqi war, North Korea will explode a nuclear device near the DMZ. China will probably take Taiwan and we'll let it go, and if the US has to fight a ground war against North Korea, it will be messy since our resources will already be stretched too thin from the war in Iraq. I'm not looking forward to watching the body bags come home on TV every night.

It's going to be an interesting 2003, whatever happens, and it seems prudent to stay put for now until the dust settles.

Rainbow Grocery Statement on Israeli Products

Statement from the Board of Directors Regarding Israeli Products. Spin Rainbow Grocery, spin!

So Rainbow grocery ended its partial boycott of Israeli made goods, Rainbow Grocery backs off on boycott of Israeli goods Representatives of two Jewish groups declare victory.

I don't know if I can ever shop there again though. They had the boycott in place for a year, and they only backed down because they got found out. For all their talk of being a progressive grocery, they acted just like any big corporatation that they profess to hate; they engaged in deceptive practices. It's so typical of the progressives. They despise the conservative right and big corporations, but when you examine them and their practices they're exactly the same. At least the big corporations and the conservative right lay their agenda and motives on the table for everyone to see and judge. They're honest about who they are, and what they're willing to do. Not the progressive left. They lie and hide in the name of self righteousness and because they really do think they know better than anyone else. Is it any wonder people are so disgusted with the left and progressive these days?

Who has time for dishonesty and hidden agendas? Please! If I'm dealing with a jerk, I like to know up front. Be proud of your views! Don't skulk around and hide, and only change your views when you're caught. Shame on you, Rainbow Grocery!

People are typing in "elf girl" into all of these search engines (thank god for sitemeter) and visiting my bloggie. Are they looking for The Elf Girl in the City me or is there some other elf girl out there on the Net?

I just got back from another holiday party. God, I'm exhausted. I've been going like gangbusters all day. I'm supposed to go another party tomorrow afternoon, but I'm thinking of not going. I'd like a day to just relax and decompress. I spent the whole day shopping, and waiting in line at the post office trying to mail presents; me and the whole world it seemed.

There's also another party on Christmas eve to attend right before the late night service, that I just got invited to. I told them I have Christmas eve dinner plans, but may show up for dessert. Then I'm going to a Christmas day luncheon party. Just thinking about it all makes me tired.

Still, it's nice to go to parties to catch up with people whom I haven't seen or talked to in awhile. Athough I'm not a big party goer, I go to all the Christmas parties to catch up with friends.

Like take my friend who was in the hospital with a bacterial infection. I've been meaning to send a card or go and visit him, but I kept forgetting. Some friend huh? Anyway, he shows up at this party tonight and it was so good to see him. We spent about 20 minutes talking about what happened to him, and how he's doing now. Then I spoke to another friend who I hadn't talked to in awhile, and she was telling me about her new medication for this recurring medical problem that she's having.

Parties are where I get to hear the nitty gritty details of people's lives, and that's why I go to them. Well that and the gossip. I get to hear the gossip about various friends, and that's always kind of fun in a purely perverse way.

Now I just want to sit down and read my new Caleb Carr novel. I love Cale Carr! He's an amazing writer. He's a historian as well, and he includes all these factoids in his stories. I love him, and want to write like him. His stories make me think deeply about issues.

I haven't been writing since the end of November. I kind of feel guilty about it, but a part of me feels like I deserve a break and a vacation since I spent all of last month furiously writing. The December holidays are the worst time to write. There's just so much to do this month, that it's hard to fit writing in.

It feels strange not to write though, and I'm starting to feel it. I'll have to start writing again after Christmas. Things will have calmed down by then, at least until New Years.

I read a book a few months ago called, "Move your things, Change your life." In a fit of who knows what, I moved my desk to a totally different area of my apartment. I wanted my desk to be near a window, so I moved my desk to where my dining table used to be, and then had to move a bunch of stuff around to accomodate the change.

I've had my desk in the same place since I moved in seven years ago, so it feels a little weird to have my desk in a new place, but ... I kind of like it. Maybe it will change my life. Maybe not.

I went to look at an apartment tonight. I think the guy renting that apartment I looked at, must have been desperate because he listed it last week, and was showing it last Saturday for $50 more. I wanted to check it out, but I had that screenwriting seminar that day. When I emailed the guy if he was showing it another time, I never got a reply back. This Tuesday, the guy relists his apartment only this time with a more detailed description and $50 cheaper. I keep wondering what happened last Saturday that made him relist in more detail for cheaper. I decided to go and check it out, because it did sound so good on paper.

The apartment was in the back of someone's house, which people refer to as an "in-law". I know people who are in great in-law apartments, and they love it, so I decided to check this one out.
The size was good, and it was on a quiet street, and it was perfect except for the fact that it only had two windows.

I think it might have looked better during the day, but Mr. Desperate Landlord decided to show it on a Friday night at 6:30 pm. It makes you wonder what the story is with this landlord. I spoke to his wife earlier on the phone, and she told me the husband inherited the building from his parents who live in the top apartment. An older couple live in the bottom apartment, and then there's the in-law apartment underneath. The wife and husband used to live in the bottom apartment, then they went and bought their own place. Curiouser and curiouser said the cat.

I'm spoiled. I have a corner apartment with seven windows, and I adore them. Six of the windows are bay windows, so they're nice and huge. I just love all the light streaming in, so I bought these horrendously expensive guazy white cotton Pottery Barn curtains with little suns all over them. The light comes in but people can't see in. I never draw my shades, and when it's pretty outside, I open the curtains.

The windows are one of the main reasons I moved in here in the first place. Not having windows in that in-law freaked me out. Sure I would have way more peace and quiet, way more room, and a garden outside, but it would feel like I was living in a cave and I think that would drive me insane after awhile. I need light, windows and lots of lots of sunshine. This love of light and sun must come from island upbringing. We had big windows in my childhome home.

Two more apartments tomorrow. Yikes! My gut keeps telling me to wait for a place that feels really, really good. That I'll know it when I see it, like I how I knew about this place when I first saw it. My gut also keeps saying that rents will still come down, if I just wait another month.

So in the mean time, I'll just move my whole apartment around and disrupt my current way of life. It's already disrupted big time anyway. What's a little more disruption in my life? Besides, maybe my life will change if I just move my stuff. You never know.

Because of the catholic priest sexual scandals, a catholic friend of mine just learned that both her brothers were sexually molested by their childhood catholic parish priest when they were altar boys. Her brothers finally had the courage to tell her after all these years.

My friend is incredibly bitter now, so this is her latest rant. The catholic church protects right of the unborn child, but not the rights of the living child. The catholic church is against abortion so their priests can have more children to sexually abuse. She says that the catholic church's whole pro-life stance is a joke to her now.

These are incredibly nasty comments, but I don't what to to say to her. I don't know how I'd feel if I found out one of my siblings was abused by a member of the clergy. I told her to pray to God for answers, but my friend is so mad at God and the catholic church right now. She's refusing to go to church, and she's a devout catholic. She's thinking of volunteering to work with groups to oust sexually abusive catholic priests from the church, and my friend is not the volunteer type.

It's hard to know what to say to anyone in this situation. I told her to seek professional counseling, perhaps even with her brothers. Maybe there are even support groups for this kind of stuff. She needs to talk to people who understands what she's going through. Just thinking about what that priest did her to her brothers makes me mad. Her brothers are nice guys, but kind of messed up. Now I know why.

Check this site out: Only in America. It's laugh out loud funny!

ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY REDNECK GAVE TO ME ...

12 Pack of Coors
11 Monster truck tickets
10 Copenhagen
9 Years probation
8 Shots of whisky
7 Packs of redman
6 Cans of Spam
5 Flannel shirts
4 Big mud tires
3 Shotgun shells
2 Hunting dogs
& parts in a big Chevy truck!

I don't know about you, but listening to The Three Tenors sing "Feliz Navidad" in their accents makes me chuckle! No one should sing that song except Jose Feliciano!

I have a link to this website called "Bibliography for Classical and Modern Political Theory". I love politics, and one of my dream jobs was to be political consultant. One of these days, I'm going to read all the books on the list. I've read about a quarter of them already.

A friend of mine became a political lobbyist in DC, and worked on getting the federal ballot to be printed in all the different languages. Her work sounds so glamorous, doesn't it? She's a democrat, so she's been at the White House with meetings with Leon Panetta and Bill Clinton. Her husband is also politically connected, and he went down to Florida during the 2000 election debacle to help out the democrats. Doesn't that sound fun?

The only thing about being a political consultant, is you have to choose a party. I'm a democrat, but I'd like to be able to pick and choose what project I work on. Sometimes the other side has great projects to work on, like welfare reform. Besides, I want to be a hired gun and work for the highest bidder. But politics is so partisan that you can't do that. Too bad!

Am I an opera junkie or what? I have "The Three Tenors Christmas" and "Christmas with Kiri Te Kanawa".

But I also have "Celtic Christmas", "Have Yourself a Jazzy Little Christmas", "Yule Strutting' A Blue Note Christmas", "Shenandoah Christmas", "Christmas Carols sung by The Choir of Westminster Abbey", and "Jazz for Joy". Plus many more. And one of these days, I'll get around to getting "The Boys 2 Men Christmas Album", which I heard once and fell in love with.

I just love Christmas music, don't you?

On my news site searches, I came across articles on the Norwalk virus. As I was reading the symptoms, I realized that I may have it. I ate at an indian food buffet on Saturday. Since Monday night, I've had the worse runs. It's horrible. Every time I eat something, it just goes right through me. My stomach has been all crampy, and I've been passing gas like anything. GROSS! It's a good thing I don't live with anyone. How embarrassing to be passing gas all night long.

The virus is supposed to only last from 24-60 hours, so by tomorrow it should be gone. At work today, I got all hot and fevery as well, and I think I had a low grade temperature.

Now I'm like freaking out and never eating at a buffet again. You just can't trust the cleanliness of your fellow diners, and although my symptoms were mild, I definitely don't want to go through this again.

I'm looking at three apartments starting on Friday. One in the neighborhood, which isn't ideal, but I'm very curious about, and two on Saturday. None of them are really ideal actually, at least not on paper, but doesn't hurt to see what's out there. It's like job hunting. When I was job hunting, I interviewed a lot at jobs I didn't want, just for interview practice. My last three jobs were places I'd gone to just to practice interviewing, so I know I should be open and look at all vacant apartments out there.

I told my rock star drummer friend K I wanted to move, and he warned me not too. He said that because the economy is so bad right, and so many people are being laid off, there'll be a glut of apartments on the market cheaper than the ones I'm seeing now. Then on the radio today I heard the head of a San Francisco church that gives grocery bags out to poor people say, that he's never seen lines of people needing free food like this in 40 years, and most of the people are young too.

My rock star drummer friend says that if I get laid off suddenly and I move, I'll be stuck paying higher rent, which would be a dumb idea. He's probably right, but I just can't stand my place anymore. The people upstairs were deliberately stomping above after 10 pm at night. God, they are so rude. And I'm evil as well, and just turn up my stereo since sound travels up. That's how bad it's gotten. And what's laughable is that the whole sound problem could be solved if the people upstairs just bought an area rug. Maybe they like the hardwood floors, maybe they're just plain rude and stupid and unaware that someone lives below them and I can hear every footstep they make especially when they wear their shoes late at night. Who konws what their problem is. I just want out of there as soon as possible.

I know rents are coming down because I've seen apartments that are bigger than mine for rent costing as much as my building was charging in 2000, and my building always prices themselves below the market. I saw two bedrooms apartments for the price of a one bedroom, in nice neighborhoods, with prices from 2000.

I've only been apartment hunting since last week, and I've already seen people having to lower their prices on their rentals. There is no one out there who can afford these prices anymore. I'm looking at a place on Friday, where the landlord had to lower the price by $50. I've never seen that happen in San Francisco ever. I've seen For Rent signs on some buildings for months, probably because and landlord is too greedy and doesn't want to lower the price. Some landlords are offering the first month free and other perks. The apartment above me sat empty for three months, which is extraordinary, since my landlord charges rents below the market rates.

Now I bet you're thinking, why didn't I move upstairs? Well, because the last two families who lived up above me had carpet and I never heard them. There wasn't a reason to move. Now I've got totally rude chick from hell living upstairs from me without carpet, and believe me, it's shocking and eye opening to hear how thin walls are between our apartments. There was a family of four who used to live above me, and I didn't even know they were up there, and that there were so many of them. I didn't find out until they moved out, and I was amazed that I never heard the two kids or the parents. I wish the family were still there. There were good neighbours. But from all the websites on housing and insulation I've been reading, there are a ton of rude people out there who don't care they they disturb their neighbours. I've just been spoiled I guess, by caring and polite upstairs neighbours over the years, and I miss them.

My drummer friend guy called me last night and had this totally wild story to tell. My rock star drummer friend is a gas. His claim to fame is he was the one time drummer for the group Kansas, when they went on tour to Europe. My friend K did the the total rock star thing with Kansas and, according to him, slept with tons of groupies and was a total dog with them. Who knows if his stories are true, but we've been friends for a long time and he's the sweetest guy. When we go to the movies, dinner, anywhere, he always pays and if I was in trouble, I know I could call him and he would come running.

Anyway, so K calls me last night and says he just got done dating this woman who used to be married to some executive at that huge computer company in San Jose, the one that starts with a C, the company whose tag line is "the worldwide leader in networking for the internet". I don't want to mention the company name, so I can't get in trouble.

Anyway, K meets this woman on Craig's List personals, and the woman is totally wealthy, lives on the Peninsula and knows all the 49ers. She's in sales and makes about $400K a year. The woman tells him that the exec at C Systems, whom she was married to for 24 years, was totally abusive to her.

Then K says that she spent about $10K on the party he was throwing, which I totally forgot about and didn't attend. She also bought all this stuff for his house. They dated for about 4 months, but she was a mess and bipolar because she was in that totally abusive marriage with the exec from C Systems.

And I'm like thinking, some rich executive ex-wife trolling on Craig's List Personals for dates? That's wild, if it's true. But then it's K, and you can never tell with him whether he could be exagerrating or just making stuff up. I'm so tempted to go to the C Systems website to find out the name of the executive, since K said he was up at the site in the executive bios. I mean, is this juicy gossip or what? The woman was apparently some kind of frustrated sexual maniac as well, although sweet and generous and totally bipolar. K said he even went with her to pick her kid up at some ex 49er football player house.

Part of me thinks no way would a woman like this go out with my friend K, because he's not that cute. Then I feel bad for thinking that, because K is just not that attractive to me but he probably is to a ton of women. He's an ex rock star drummer for god's sake. That has so much pull with women, including with me. And like I said, the guy is a total sweetie, he's very engaging and charming, smart, and totally generous. He's way too skinny for my taste, but some women like that. He kind of looks like Jerry Seinfeld, only he's not jewish.

I wonder if his story is true. I wish I'd gone to this party now so I could have seen her, but I totally forgot about it. K was kind of mad at me for not showing up, and not calling to excuse myself, but he said he's over it now.

K is a good friend, but who knows if I can believe his dating stories. The stories are highly entertaining and if he is making them up, I am so jealous of his great imagination.

This is scary. I received a letter from the Republican National Committee. Isn't that funny? The RNC sending a letter to someone, who lives in the most left wing whacko city in the world. What are these guys thinking? Okay, I'll confess my neighbourhood is about 30% republican, and yes during the 2000 presidential election there were a number of houses with Bush/Cheney signs up.

But I'm so not republican. I'm a registered democrat, and have been since I was old enough to vote. What are these people thinking? I was born and grew up in the only state that voted for McGovern in 1972. Come on. Okay, Hawaii does have a republican governor, but she's a woman, she used to work for the Teamster's Union, and she supports a woman's right to an abortion. Since the state has been in the economic toilet since 1997, I can see the voters wanting a change. Nothing moves voters to switch sides more than a bad economic climate.

Of course, she won every island except mine Kauai, but the island has always bucked the state trends.

Now I'm like thinking, how the hell did the RNC get my address? What republican mailing list am I on? And it's not like this is the first time either. They sent me a similar letter during the 1992 presidential election, and I was living in a different apartment back then.

I hate that my name and address are out there in some database, which could say what? Swing voter? Fits the demographic for people who might want to give money to the RNC, even though lives in the most democratic city in the country? Fits republican party income levels? Fits republican voting patterns, spending patterns, reading patterns, theatre going patterns, movie viewing patterns? What? What does the RNC have on me, that makes them even remotely think I would ever give money to them? What?

Either the RNC has something legitimate on me, or they better hire some temps to clear out their bad databases, or hire a DBA to fix their databases, or stop buying those worthless mailing lists that has the names of people who would never ever give money to them.

I've been checking apartment listings for the last two days. It's kind of fun to see what's out there, since I haven't apartment hunted in 7 years. I'm probably going to end up paying more than I want to for a bigger place, but I'm okay with that. It's not like I can't afford it, because I can, I just won't be able to save as much money as I want to. Once I pay off the car, which is in a couple of years, I'll have more financial breathing room. I an always move again if I want. I really don't see San Francisco rental prices going up anytime soon.

The experts are predicting that the housing market is going to come down. From the wordings of rental ads, and all the bargains that are being offered, landlords are starting to get desperate. I think in a month or two, they'll get even more desperate and rental prices will come down. I've already seen rentals for 2000/2001 prices. The real estate market is always two years behind the financial markets, so rents should really be coming down by the first quarter of 2003. I don't think the economy is going to improve anytime soon, at least not in the SF Bay Area. Sad for ssome people, but great for apartment hunters like me.

I had a writing group meeting tonight. I love the people in my writing group. We've known each other for three years now, and have been a group for two years. It's really amazing to be friends with other people who are trying to write and trying to create. I know my friends and loved ones mean well and support me, but none of them write. None of them relate to what I'm going through as a writer like my writing group.

We are a diverse group, each with our own ideas of what we want to write and how we want our creative expression to be in this world, but at the same time we're all artists with a common goal, a common struggle, and as I discovered tonight, on the Myer Briggs scale, we're NF's, intuitive feelers. That's so cool. I'm close on the F/T scale to a T, but my F wins out. I can logically analyze a situation, and I do that first, but then I step back and I let the feeling of the situation decide my final action.

Writers, artistis are a strange breed. Someone in the group said that NF's make up only 10% of the population, something I didn't know. 10%. Well in my writing group NF's are 100%. So what does that mean?

For statistical purposes, I'm an ENFJ sometimes and an INFJ other times, depending on my mood. I've tested both either way. For the Enneagram, I'm a four with an five wing; the artist, romantic with an intellectual bent. I love personality tests, don't you?

The wind is howling outside, and it's still raining. It's been raining here since Friday, and it's not supposed to stop till Tuesday. The commute tomorrow morning is going to be bad.

At church today, the pastor mentioned that there was tension going on between him and some of the church members. I had no idea this was going on. You can't escape politics, even at the church level. I was skeptical about the new pastor myself, but now that I've gotten to know him, I really like him. The guy is really smart, he's grounded and practical, and I think his heart is definitely in the right place.

He said tension between members and a new minister always come up, so it's not unusual. I have no idea what the tension is all about. The new pastor is granted a little more conservative than our last one, but I think his conservatism is in keeping with the times. I might have to do a little investigating to find out who's he feuding with in the congregation, because I'm so curious to find out who he's have disagreements with.

The new pastor totally emphasizes the Holy Trinity of the father, son and Holy Spirit. He said in Kerygma class, that some of the staff are resistant to emphasizing the Holy Spirit. I don't know why. Christianity is based on the Holy Trinity, and all three parts of it need to addressed. I mean, why wouldn't you want to invite the God the Father, Jesus Christ the son, and Holy Spirit into your church meetings. The Holy Trinity is like the three sides of a triangle; take one point away and the whole thing falls apart.

I think that the new minister is having tensions with the more radical left of our congregation. We don't have very many, as my church tends to be mainstream to conservative in view, but hey it's San Francisco, and there's a always few left wing whackos in any group.

It's bad when people leave the church to join other congregations, but it's a free country and there are a ton of churches in San Francisco. If there are disgruntled members, they should leave. No one is putting a gun to their head so they stay. I'm a hard one, when it comes to stuff like this. There are left wing oriented type churches in the City, and if a churchgoer wants that type of environment, they should seek them out instead of trying to turn a mainstream/conservative more to the left.

I saw Harry Potter, and I really loved it. Some kids and their parents walked out, I think becausefor very young children the movie is pretty spooky. Harry Potter is definitely for mature 8-year olds and up.

The actors are going up really fast. The Ron Weasley actor had a crackly voice, probably because he's entering puberty. The other actors are growing up as well, and I don't know how much longer they'll be able to play their parts without looking too old for them.

It was sad to see Richard Harris on screen, and knowing that he was sick during the filming of the moive and would die later. He didn't look like the same Professor Dumbledore from the first movie.

The movie makes the confrontation that Harry has with his muggle guardians more vivid, and sad. His guardians treat him so badly. What the muggle guardians do to Harry Potter amount to child abuse in my eyes.

I think it's going to storm all night, and I'm praying that the electricity stays one. I hate having to take a shower in the dark, especially in the morning.

I just measured myself again, and since October 25, I've lost 5.25 inches. I thought I was getting smaller, so I wanted to measure myself to make sure. It's nice to know that even though my weight loss is going ever so slowly, I'm at least losing inches even though I'm only four pounds lighter.

Here's the scariest part. Since May 29, 2001, I've lost 34.25 inches. That's almost 3 feet of me of me gone. 3 feet! It's hard to imagine I was almost 3 feet bigger than I am now, except I've dropped at least two to three sizes. I'm 1.5 inches away from my hip size in high school, which is wild to me. I wonder what my measurements will be when I hit my weight goal of 130 lbs. I can't wait to find out.

That screenwriting seminar I took today from the UCLA professor was fantastic! It was definitely worth every penny. The guy is a tenured professor and has taught at UCLA for over 25 years. He knows George Lucas and helped write "American Graffiti". The Wall Street Journal calls him one of Hollywood's powerbrokers in the world of screenwriting. The works of his students include recent movies like Spiderman, Panic Room, The Road to Perdition, Repo Man, Real Women Have Curves and Highlander.

I loved the guy. He is so spiritual. In fact, he's the most spiritual writing teacher I've ever come across, which is so shocking and ironic since Hollywood is considered by some one of the most unspiritual industries on earth. Here's some things that he said, and I'm using my own words.

Don't afraid to put God in your work. I recently discovered God myself in the last few years. Why should God only belong to the right wing conservatives?

I was in Washington DC and heard Martin Luther King Jr. give his famous "I have a dream speech."

A movie is a romanticization and idealization of the human experience.

Writers get paid to daydream, and the writer's job is to get the daydream into the head of your reader/audience.

The beautiful thing about being a writer is you can be anybody. (He didn't spout the political correctness drivel that you can only write personal experiences that you've had, like if you're white you can't write about the african american experience, or if you're a woman you can't write about the male experience.)

Art is the lie that tells the bigger truth. Writers get in trouble when they try to be too truthful to the data. Play fast and loose with the experience. Lie about the data, but be completely truthful about the feeling. (This is why you don't have to always base your writing on personal experience. Writing fiction like a screenplay is a lie. The "real" truth only applies if you're writing a documentary."

Art is about reaching as many people as possible. Film is a populist art. The great works like the Greek dramas and Shakespeare were all popular in their day in the lifetime of the writer, and were commercially successful. A successful screenwriter reaches as many people as possible. Your script has to raise enough money to support the enterprise. (He debunked the whole myth of art having to be obscure and commercially unsuccessful to be good.)

Kramer vs Kramer is about how commitment to love can make your career soar. Love and commitment is not a trap, lt will not limit you; it will expand you.

To be a successful writer, you need a litte bit of talent, a lot of discipline and a ton of courage.

I loved it when he said "Don't be afraid to put God in your work." Wow, what he said is so refreshing. My screenwriting teacher in SF told me my screenplay is my take on the Prodigal son story from the bible. She even reads the book of Proverbs to get story ideas.

But in a recent screenwriting group meeting, someone said that a film was "too christian" for them, and said it was such disdain and disgust. That person totally freaked me out. I started to get discouraged about the way I write, because I can't help be influenced by my christian upbringing and christian beliefs. I was afraid to be part of that group, and have my screenplay critiqued by that person. I let her remark make me feel ashamed of my work, which I know is bad and wrong, but that's what happened.

And now here comes this guy, who is intimately connected with the Hollywood film industry, saying that "it's okay to put God in your work." That person from the screenwriting group has never sold a script to Hollywood, but did write and produce a self financed independent film. This guy from UCLA has influenced Hollywood screenwriters with successful films for over 25 years, and has helped write successful commercial films himself. I think I believe the UCLA guy more than I believe the person from my screenwriting group. The UCLA professor totally validated me and my way of writing, and that validation was so worth the money I paid for the seminar and them some. In fact, what he said was "priceless" to me.

I finished watching the last episode of the SciFi Channel series "Taken". I loved the story structure, and how everything was strung together. The story takes places over 50 years, and it was a good lesson in making sure elements that were in the beginning of the story are carried through the years. The writer of "Taken" did it with phrases, and a simple thing like earrings made into the shape of the Texas lone star.

I wonder what all the UFO people are thinking about "Taken". What about the reaction of the people who are actual alien abductees? I really enjoyed the story, and the ending leaves it open for the SciFi channel to do sequels or even a series.

Do aliens exist? I don't know. Whenever I think about this question, I think of that line from the movie "Contact" where Jodie Foster says I think, "If it's empty up there, it's a hell of a waste of space."

Here's some news on a republican pundit whom I actually kind of like, Mary Matalin Leaves White House Post. I don't why I like Mary Matalin, but I just do. Maybe it's because I love the fact that she's married to Democrat consultant, James Carville. I don't agree with any of Matalin's views, but I like watching her argue, especially when she's arguing with her husband. It's great how those two can fiercely argue like that, and still be married and raise a family of two daughters.

I just spoke to a friend of mine, whose faith is much stronger than mine. He told me the following, which makes so much sense:

1) maybe I'm having problems with my apartment because God wants me to move out my apartment and into a better place;
2) maybe I'll get laid off from my job because God wants me to work on the two novels that I started and never finished;
3) I don't know what God's plan is for my life, but I'm not helping myself any if I fight and fear the changes in my life, which in the end may be better than what I've got in my life right now;
4) personal growth techniques can only take you so far, but so much of it depends on your own inner strength. But what if sometimes your strength gives out? That's where faith comes in. God is so much stronger than we are. It's like when you're watching a scary movie, and you get so caught up in the movie and you get all scared because you forget you're watching a movie. God can help you step back, and remind you that it's only a movie. Your faith in God can help you step back and see options that you hadn't thought of before, or see roads that you thought were closed to you.

Thank god for my friend whose faith is way stronger than mine. I also went to the Wednesday night prayer service, and it was a healing service. I don't usually ask for healing, but I went up last night and asked that my living situation be prayed for. The prayer thing totally works! I only do it when I'm totally desperate which isn't very often, but the few times I've done it, my situation either radically improved or my outlook completely changed. Prayer definitely works!

Another great article from the LA Times, Searching for a happiness strategy. I definitely need a "happiness strategy" right now.

Hear's a great story from the LA Times on Nancy Pelosi and San Franicisco Politics.

If you believe the republicans when they say that San Francisco is out of step with the rest of the country, then why does San Francisco always win as the place most people want to move to? If the rest of the country hates San Francisco politics so much, then why do people want to move here? Every day on my commute I see license plates from all over the country, which tells me that people keep moving here, even though the economy is not doing that great right now and the everything here is so very, very expensive.

It's a conundrum.

More on Guam from the FEMA webisite, Federal Agencies Mobilize To Assist Guam After Devastation By Super Typhoon.

The remnants on the storm are on its way to California. They're forecasting a serious storm on Saturday and on Monday. I'll be in a screenwriting seminar all day Saturday, and I'll probably have to deal with the storm coming home. My life is getting better every day, isn't it?

I just heard on the radio that there was typhoon that hit the island of Guam, and 2,000 homes were destroyed. The radio reporter said they were flying in a hospital to the island, because the Guam Memorial Hospital is not functioning. This sounds bad.

The noisy upstairs neighbours are driving me crazy. Last night they came and stomped about in their shoes. I ended up hitting my ceiling with the broomstick to tell them to quiet down, but of course they didn't. I hate my apartment, and it's freaking me out. I need the place where I live to feel safe and secure, and they've completely destroyed it for me.

For the first time ever, I don't even feel like buying a tree for Christmas. I usually buy a tree, decorate it, and even put up colourful Christmas lights. But I'm so upset about hating my life and apartment right now, that I can't do it.

I remember visiting a friend's apartment, and it was undecorated. My friend said the apartment didn't feel like home to her, so she didn't feel like putting up pictures or investing money to make it look better. At the time, I didn't understand her feelings. Now I do. Why should I spend the money to buy a tree, and put up Christmas lights, which are a big in the wazoo to hang anyway, when I don't feel like happy in my apartment, and it's not the sanctuary from the world I thought it was.

I won't pull a total Scrooge for Christmas. I always buy a couple of poinsettias anyway, and they're festive enough. I decided not to even give gifts to my building manager and building owners, which I've done every year since I moved in. I complained about the people upstairs being noisy, and nothing has changed. They probably wouldn't even notice or care that they don't get a present from me or not.

God, I'm in such a bad mood. I need the place where I live to feel safe, secure and like a sanctuary, and now it's turned into one humongous hell hole. I'd love to move, but things are still unstable at work. Rumors are going around that they might close the office. I'll be okay financially, but only if I can keep paying the same amount for rent.

I used to be afraid of getting laid off, but with unemployment and at least three months of severance and my vacation pay, if I got laid off in March 2003 (which is the month the rumor mongers are saying the office will close) I could afford to stay home and not work till 2004. The last time the company laid people off, they gave everyone three months severance. I hope they do the same if they close my office. The economy in the SF Bay Area is so bad right now, I might not have a choice but to stay home and be unemployed. At least I'll be able to afford it. I mean, I'll have to lead this incredibly frugal, cheap and budget driven life, but at least I'll be to do it. It's my one and only bright spot in these uncertain times.

I've never not worked. The most I've ever gone without working is six weeks, at least since I've been on my own, and I spent those six weeks on vacation. I was in Hawaii for two weeks, and then I flew to Bali for a month. I'm glad of glad I made my Bali trip when I did. I would be afraid to travel there now, because of the recent terrorist bombing and all of their civil unrest. Bali was such peaceful country when I was there; there was no violence whatsoever. Now that's all changed, just like my living situation.

I guess it's not going to be that much of merry Christmas for me.

I found this on a site I visit every day. It's very funny.

A few observations on newspapers:

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave LA to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are Democrats.

10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

Let's see. I read the SF Chronicle, it's the local paper, the New York Times, The LA Times and sometimes The Washington Post. So what does that make me?

I'm debating whether to buy those Lands' End size 10 pants. I hate the way my pants look. The butt part does not fit at all, and they look so baggy. If they don't fit in four or five months, then I'll just have to buy more pants.

I'm trying to hold off buying clothes until I decide to stop losing weight, but it's hard with everything I own starting to look too big and baggy on me. The extra large clothes I own are just hanging on me.

I may go through my closet and get rid of everything that's too big, too old, and I don't totally love. I could donate the clothes to charity for the tax deduction.

Part of me wants to hold on to my big clothes, just in case the weight come back, but I'm determined that the weight will never come back. I just don't know what size I'll eventually end up being, but it will definitely never be an extra large.

Size 10 or 8 wouldn't be too bad. I could live with either size.

A rabbi from an adult jewish learning programs website down the Peninsula came across my blog rants about Rainbow Grocery on Google. He thanked me, and then asked if he could pass it on for others to read. I'm not sure what rant of mine he was referring to, but I told him feel free to pass it along. I'm flattered that he found one of my posts worthy of passing on to someone, and of course, so touched that he thanked me for what I wrote. A rabbi too, how flattering is that!

Of course now I'm like panicing, because I'm like such a bad editor of my own posts. I hope if he finds grammatical errors, he fixes them before he passes my posts on.

More on Rainbow Grocery's boycott of Israeli made products A definition of anti-semitism from Thomas Friedman, a NY Times columnist, from his 10/16/2002 column on "Campus Hypocrisy."

"How is it that Egypt imprisons the leading democracy advocate in the Arab world, after a phony trial, and not a single student group in America calls for divestiture from Egypt? (I'm not calling for it, but the silence is telling.) How is it that Syria occupies Lebanon for 25 years, chokes the life out of its democracy, and not a single student group calls for divestiture from Syria? How is it that Saudi Arabia denies its women the most basic human rights, and bans any other religion from being practiced publicly on its soil, and not a single student group calls for divestiture from Saudi Arabia?

Criticizing Israel is not anti-Semitic, and saying so is vile. But singling out Israel for opprobrium and international sanction — out of all proportion to any other party in the Middle East — is anti-Semitic, and not saying so is dishonest."

This is exactly what Rainbow Grocery has done.

I need to trust my intuition more about people. I thought the janitor guy at work was really creepy, and I just didn’t feel like even saying hi to him. I felt really guilty about being snobby, then I find out that the guy is truly creepy. At my company party I was told that he made a pass at one of the women in the company. The woman was coming out of the bathroom, and the janitor guy was standing right outside the door and asking where his kiss was.

How creepy! And in front of the bathroom too. Was he expecting to kiss her in the bathroom? All she said she did was talk to him and be friendly to him. So darn creepy that some men think they can behave that sexually inappropriately with you just because you talk to them. Some other person saw the whole thing, and they both reported him to the building management people. The guy is still on the job, but he doesn’t lurk around the lobby like he used to. Now whenever I see him, I can't help but think “CREEP”.

Before my kergyma bible study class on Wednesday nights, I attend a half an hour evening prayer service. The service calms me down, and I find it relaxes me enough so that I can sit in bible study and really ponder what the bible means for my life right now.

The evening prayer service on Wednesday varies from week to week, and last week there was incense burning and we read and sang psalms for half an hour.

This line from Psalm 17 struck me during the service, and it's been bouncing around my head all week and I can't figure out why. This is the line.

"Weigh my heart, summon me by night, melt me down; you will find no impurity in me."

I think I like the "melt me down" part, although it occurs to me that being melted down is probably very painful. Sometimes I feel like I am being melted down, but for what purpose and to what end is a big mystery.

If you've been wondering about the picture on the left, no that's not a picture of me, here's the scoop.

That's a picture of a "Hula Barbie", which was a christmas gift from the all-male finance group I worked for a long time ago. The gift was given to me before sexual harrassment in the office was such a big deal. The guys said they gave it me because 1) the Barbie reminded them of me and 2) I told them I liked Barbies and complained about never having a Barbie growing up that looked like me. When I was growing up, Barbies were all blonde and blue eyed.

At the time I thought how cute and flattering, that the guys thought I looked like a Barbie. Secondly these guys weren't the gift giving types, so for them to get together and buy me a christmas present was unusual.

A couple of girlfriends of mine thought the guys were insulting me by giving me the Barbie, but I thought it was given with good intentions. Besides, I worked with these guys and they were nice to me and I was the only woman in the group.

I don't think I look like a Barbie. One of my acting teachers called me a "giant Barbie" once, but what does he know, he's an acting teacher. A friend from NYC, while we were in Hawaii together, said I looked a "giant doll", and this guy from my jujitsu class called me "doll face". I love that name, "dollie face". I also used to use the Hula Barbie face when I would chat on AIM, with a friend of mine. He used Spider Man.

The Hula Barbie face has grown on me over the years, and it amuses me to no end that people think I look like a doll. I must be plastic looking or something, and have a vapid and shallow expression on my face. Whatever.

I saw "Die Another Day" yesterday. I haven't seen a James Bond movie in the theatre in a long time. I forgot how fun movies like this are. I loved the opening surfing scene! The beach scene looked a little familiar to me, and then I found out during the credits that part of the movie was filmed in Maui. I wonder if that opening scene was filmed in Maui. The last scene with the house may have been filmed in Maui as well.

I loved Halle Berry, and I loved the part where she was fighting with the english chick, and Halle Berry called her "bitch" before she killed her. Everyone in the theatre was clapping and laughing.

James Bond movies are so much fun. You know you're going to great special effects, pretty girls, fun spy gadgets, great cars and car chase scenes, and it always end happily with Bond saving the world. There's something very comforting about the whole Bond movie genre. In our ever increasingly complicated world, it's nice to spend a couple of hours in a world where issues are black and white, where there are bad guy and good guys, and where moral ambiguity is nonexistent. It's escapist entertainment at its best.

I wish I could write a movie script with special effects like a James Bond movie. I love special effects in a movie. I love the violence, the fast car chase scenes, and the daredevil stunts. Special effects makes spending the money to watch a movie totally worth it, because special effects on a big screen look so darn good. Unless you have a killer sound system and huge screen TV at home, you just can't have the same movie watching experience at home that you do at the theatre. You also don't get the audience reaction at home, which most of the time really adds to my movie viewing pleasure. It's fun to laugh out loud at a movie's jokes with people you know and don't know.

Die Another Day was definitely worth my money.

Below is a statement from the Jewish Community Relations Council on Rainbow Grocery's boycott of products made in Israel.

December 4, 2002

RAINBOW GROCERY ISRAEL BOYCOTT

The following statement was issued today by David Steirman, President of the Jewish Community Relations Council, which represents more than 80 synagogues and Jewish organizations in the Bay Area on public affairs issues of concern to the organized Jewish community.

The Jewish Community Relations Council is deeply disappointed and angered that Rainbow Grocery, which has been patronized by a significant number of our community members and has a strong reputation as a progressive institution, has chosen to boycott Israeli-made products.

The explanation on the store's website that only "two departments decided to remove the Israeli products that they carried from the shelf" and that they "allow our departments wide latitude in their purchasing decisions" is disingenuous at best. The store's leadership is permitting a boycott to take place on its premises and bears responsibility for that decision.

This boycott is not only deeply offensive; it is also misguided. Economic warfare against Israel in the form of boycotts is a failed tactic that has been employed by Israel's detractors and enemies since the establishment of the State of Israel. According to Rainbow Grocery's public relations department, the store is not boycotting products from any other country, even though there are dozens of countries whose human rights records are, by any objective standard, abysmal.

The singling out of the democratic state of Israel is nothing short of an antagonistic and discriminatory act. The damage cannot be mitigated simply by stating, as the store has, that it will continue to carry kosher and other Jewish products from other countries or that other departments within the store do not support the boycott.

We call upon Rainbow Grocery to rescind its boycott immediately. We have offered to meet with the management of the store to convey our concerns. Until such time that the store eliminates its double-standard against Israel, we urge members of the community - Jewish and non-Jewish - to contact the store by telephone, email and fax to send a strong message of protest.

Jewish Community Relations Council of San Francisco, the Peninsula, Marin, Sonoma and Alameda Counties
121 Steuart Street, Suite 301 San Francisco, CA 94105
(415) 957-1551 www.jcrc.org

Below is an email I received from Rainbow Grocery about the boycott of Israeli products. Rainbow Grocery says there is no boycott, but what they don't say is that individual departments are independently run and can choose to not sell Israeli products, which they have done by not selling gelt, the gold coins for Hannukah. Why don't they just say this? Why lie or skirt around the truth? They really need to get a better PR person.

Dear Customers and Concerned Neighbors,

We apologize for those of you who may be receiving a second mass mailing. Unfortunately, we are simply unable to respond individually to all who have emailed, called or faxed letters to us. We would like to set the record straight for those of you who have heard conflicting stories about this issue.

There is no boycott at Rainbow Grocery Cooperative against Israeli products. At no time did a boycott of Israeli products come up for a vote by the Membership. Our policy requires 51% of the membership to approve a boycott.

We want to emphasize the following point: in no way do we tolerate any workers at Rainbow Grocery who support hatred, racism or any form of religious oppression in or outside of our workplace.

We feel compassion for all parties in the Middle East, intense pain for the losses suffered and dreams unfulfilled. Our ultimate and paramount hope is and has always been peace in the Middle East.

It is dialogue that ultimately will provide the avenue for resolution of the difficult and complex issues in the Middle East. Your feedback and commentary are important to us. We hope that the outpouring of intense communication in the past week can be a step in the process of peace, not a step towards the escalation of conflict.

Sincerely,
Board of Directors
Rainbow Grocery Cooperative

Berkeley Politics at its best. The mayor of Berkeley has admitted to stealing and throwing away copies of the UC-Berkeley student newspaper that endorsed his opponent, Berkeley Mayor Admits Stealing Newspapers.

Now if the guy was republican there'd be major honking protests on Shattuck Avenue calling for the guy's resignation. But in the messed up way politics works in the SF Bay Area, the Berkeley City Council are trying to play down what the mayor did. It's so ironic to me because Berkeley is the birthplace of the free speech movement, but obviously that's not the case anymore and I don't think has been for a very long time. One Berkeley Council member said he was stressed out, and wasn't responsible for his actions. The guy destroyed property! Come on! He should resign.

Normally I wouldn't care, it's Berkeley after all and they're a political joke around the country as well as in the SF Bay Area, but I can't help but think that if the Mayor of Berkeley was a republican, the Berkeley Council member would impeach him in a serious nanosecond. Now that a republican would ever stand a chance of getting in Berkeley, but it's the hypocrisy of the Berkeley Council that really gets to me. It's really sad too because Berkeley used to be such a relevant politcal force, and now the city has become such joke and they don't even know it. They've protested themselves into irrelevancy, like the rest of the extreme radical left.

Here's the story from the Daily Cal, the Berkeley paper that broke the story, Police Say Mayor Stole Newspapers, Bates Apologizes to Daily Cal for Role in Pre-Election Day Theft.

I popped over to Sears at lunchtime, because I received a flyer in the mail from Lands End saying that they were selling their clothes at Sears. I've been wearing Lands End forever, and I love their clothes.

I tried on a size 12 pairs of pants, and they were comfortable in the waist but way too loose in the seat and thighs. Then I went over the petite section, and on a whim tried on a size 10 petite pair of pants. I have worn size 10 pants, in about 5 years. And OH MY GOD, they fit. The pants was a little snug in the waist, but fit in the seat and thighs. In fact, the seat and thighs were still a little loose. I can't believe it. I'm like WOW! I was tempted to buy the pants, but I'm afraid if I buy the pants now, in a few months they'll be too loose.

The weight loss thing is so working, even though it's going extremely slow. I'm going ot take the weight loss stats off the bloggie, because I decided after Thanksgiving that I'm going to eat 1,400 calories per day and not worry too much about trying to lose a certain amount of weight every week. At 1,400 calories my weight loss is going to be so exceedingly slow, that it's probably not worth tracking my progress on my bloggie right now.

I'm a total wussy! It's really hard for me eat less than 1,400 calories. I can do it, but then I go into major deprivation mode and I start binging. It's a huge problem, and I don't where it's coming from, and until I figure it out I'm sticking to 1,400 calories a day. I can eat 1,400 calories a day with no problem. 1,400 calories a day is probably close to the amount I'd like to eat on daily basis for the rest of my life. Binging is not good for me, because when I binge I end up binging for a few days.

I'm still floored that I fit into a size 10 petite pants. Okay, the waist was snug, but I could still button it. And the thighs. The thighs of the pants on me were so loose, and I am so not used to seeing pants fit on my like this. It's so totally wild!

I know I have to keep going with my eating plan. I'm starting to seriously think that I will fit into a size 8 pants in a couple of months. And if I keep going, maybe I'll go back to my college size which was size 4-6. That would be hot!

On another somewhat sour note for me, I tried on a petite large cardigan sweater and it fit just right. It's my rack! The sweater was loose all over, except for over my chest. I hate that! I know, I know, there are women out there paying big bucks to be the size rack I am, but to me it's kind of depressing in a way. A way too big rack totally spoils your line when it comes to clothes. Don't those women getting plastic racks know this about clothes?

A size 10 petite pants. It's my christmas present to myself.

I've been trying to update the look of my blog for the holiday season, but I can't seem to get colours that I like or that look good.

I just installed Front Page 2000 on my pc at home, and I'm going to try and come up with a new template and new look for my bloggie over the weekend. I should probably just stick with one colour scheme, and decorate my bloggie with seasonal holiday images since I've finally figured out how to have images show up. I'd love to have some holly and candy cane stripped letters on my bloggie for Christmas. I love being festive for the holidays!

The following is from the SFChroicle/SFGATE.com's only "conservative" columinst, Debra J. Saunders, Food fight in tofu-land.

This is the second time I've agreed with her. That's spooky! What's interesting is how it was started by one angry consumer; talk about the power of one person. Who says your one voice doesn't count in our country?

The day after reaction on the Rainbow Grocery Coop's ban on Israeli products,Ban on Israeli goods has shoppers in uproar Some demand Rainbow co-op end boycott .

I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees Rainbow's decision as anti-semitic. These are the same people, who after 9/11, said that the terrorists had a right to crash commercial jets into the World Trade Center because of America's international policies. These are the same people who approve of and justify the use of terrorism to kill innocent civilians to make a political point.

If the guy in the article organizes a protest, I am so there! When I was interning in Washington, DC, I loved going to protests! There hasn't been anything to me worth protesting about since I left college, but this issue is definitely worth it. It will be my way of honoring the people who died on 9/11, and to say that terrorists acts where innocent people are killed to prove a political point, is SO WRONG!

And if you disagree, think about what your reaction would be if you were to read in the paper one day, that a terrorist went into a busy mall or on a commuter bus somewhere in the US and blew themselves up to protest American policies abroad. Or, if a terrorist blew themselves at a church on a Sunday. This is what Israelis have to read about practically every day in their papers, see on their televisions, hear on their radios, talk about in their places of worship, sermonize about at their endless funerals.

Think about it really hard, then tell me if you still support the Palestinian cause. Think about it really hard, beacuse if all the reports are true, then we in the US will one day live just like the people in Israel. And I'm afraid that day is not that far away.

I think I may have fixed the permalink problem, but I'm still checking.

I'm trying to put permalinks in, but they're not working. The link does go to the actual post, and I can't figure out why. Please be patient! I'm researching how to fix this problem.

I'm not sure what to think of all these scandalous catholic church priest sexual abuse stories. I just read in Cleveland, they indicted all these people including a catholic priest on a child pornagraphy ring. So scary! What is is with the attraction to children for sex with some people? It's sick, sick, sick! It's beyond sick. It's pure evil, nothing more and nothing less. And I don't care what kind of psychological crap people are giving for justifying sex with children; it's just pure EVIL.

Then there was that story over the weekend about the Boston Diocese thinking about declaring bankruptcy, because of all the lawsuits being filed against them from people who were sexually abused by priests.

Everyone doing their tell all about catholic priests, so I may have to do my own blog tell all since I have four of my own catholic priest scandal stories.

This first one is benign at least. I put an relationship ad in the Bay Guardian, a SF bay area weekly paper. This was before online dating, and all my friends were doing it and meeting really cute guys to date, so naturally I had to put an ad in too.

One of the guys who answered my ad said he was ex-catholic priest. Of course, I had to go out with him. I was one of those typical catholic young girls who used to have crushes on priests and fantasize about dating one, so this guy was my chance to fulfill my sick teeny girl fantasy. Now who knows if he really was an ex-catholic priest because as I was to find out later, people totally lie about themselves like crazy when they answer personal ads for relationships. But that was his rap.

We met for dinner at a greek restaurant on Polk Street, and we didn't really hit it off which was fine, but I had to just ask him why he left the priesthood. He wasn't embarrassed at all, and told me that he found some things about how the catholic church put together bible which freaked him out enough to leave the church. He was like some kind of biblical scholar type priest, and he was doing research on the bible. He said he found out things, which so rocked his faith, he had to leave. He wouldn't say what he found, only saying that the Catholic Church withheld information in the bible that was supposed to be there.

At the end of dinner, I wished him luck in his new profession of therapist and we said goodbye. But what he said has always intrigued me. I mean what did the guy find that he wouldn't even talk to me about and was so serious that he would leave his chosen profession, a profession and faith that he said he loved, still loved very much?

More Catholic Church priest scandal stories later.

I'm boycotting one of my favorite health food stores in San Francisco, Rainbow Grocery Coop, because some of their departments have stopped selling products made in Israel. Here's the article, Middle East unrest hits grocery store.

I've been shopping at Rainbow for years. They're one of the best stores for vegetarians in San Francisco, and since I've been an off and on vegetarian for most of my adult life, I spend at least $300-$500 there a year. Now I know that's not a lot of money, but in this competitive tight economy, every dollar accounts.

As soon as I read the article, I sent an email to Rainbow telling them their politics disturb me and that I will no longer be shopping at their store. The destruction of the Jews at the hands of Hitler's Nazi party, started with the boycott of jewish products. What's next? Yellow Stars of David on stores that sell jewish products? Anti-semitism scare me, and what Rainbow is doing freaks me out.

The best thing about capitalism is you can vote with your economic dollars. If you don't like something, you don't buy it. Now my $300-500 might seem like teeny weeny sum, but it's a large sum of money to me. I'm also telling all my friends to boycott Rainbow Grocery, and if they do it, then that's more voting economic dollars. And since the San Francisco Bay Area is in a recession, maybe me and people who think like me will have an effect. It's not like Rainbow Grocery is the only health food store in San Francisco.

Now I'm not the kind of person who boycotts stores, but this whole anti-semitism thing so disturbs me. They make me think of Nazis and the Holocaust. They make me think of friends' relatives who were in the Nazi death camps during World War II, and had unbelievably horrifying stories to tell. They make me think of how the world just watched as six million jews were systematically killed. They make me pay attention to all the articles I read about the rise of anti-semitism. They make me think that if I don't individually act to stop it now, then I am as guilty of anti-semtism as the Nazis were.

The "Taken" series on the SciFi channel by Steven Spielberg was hyped so much in the paper here, that I decided to watch it. I'm hooked. The sets are wonderful and so is the acting. Plus, it's all about alien abductions, government black ops, conspiracy theory, psychic powers, reversed engineered alien technology, etc. These subjects are so fascinating to me only because if it's not real, you've got to hand it to the fantastic imaginations of the people coming up with this stuff. I wish I had their imagination, and could write books about it because I could totally make bucko loads of cash.

Twenty hours of a series. That's alot of TV. I was thinking about taping it, but that's alot of TV to tape, so thank god the SciFi channel is repeating all the shows so I can get caught up if I miss a show.

The SciFi channel is also advertising a new movie, Frank Herbert's "Children of Dune". I so love The Dune Series by Frank Herbert, and wish I could create such strange and beautiful worlds the way he does.

I watched Monsters Inc on video last night. I wish I'd seen it on the big screen because it's a great movie. The monsters were so cute. I loved how Sullie, the big blue monster, was so hairy. If I was a little girl, I'd think he was a kitty too. I loved the woman who had the snake hair like Medusa, only her snake hair was so cute.

One of the funniest parts of the movie was when Mike, the one eyed monster, was asking Sullie for cologne and he put on "wet dog." Wet dog is one of the worst smells in the world.

I don't remember if I had any monster out of the closet fears when I was a kid. If I did, those memories are gone now.

It's Christmas and I totally love Christmas music! I have this really old version of Handel's Messiah, that's sung in english and not german by the London Symphony Orchestra, that I'm listening to right now. It came with this 5-cd set I bought of Christmas music a long time ago.

The sound quality is really bad, like I'm listening to some old TV program, but it's kind of cool and so cheesy because maybe you're supposed to pretend it's Christmas eve and you have the TV on and some choir is doing Handel's Messiah. Only who needs to wait till Christmas eve and TV, when I have the CD. And it's not my stereo, because my little baby has great sound.

I definitely need a new version of Handel's Messiah in stereo.

I love these long weekends. They really make me feel like I've gotten away from the office, even though I didn't leave town.

I've got the "I finished my writing project" blues. I always feel so "blah and bleh", after I finish a writing project. That sense of urgency to complete my writing total for the day is gone now, and I've stopped living in that heightened sense of every day is a deadline. It's kind of an emotional let down really. Writing that intensely for me is like being on some kind of weird drug and when I stop, it's like I've crashed down to earth with a big thump and I can't get up again. Maybe the best thing is keep writing, or at least plan to start another writing project as soon as I finish one.

I know I should enjoy my writing time off when I have them, because there's the screenplay to finish before December 14. But it's hard not to feel like I've ground to a halt, because I've stopped writing. I wonder if I'm one of those people who has to be in perpetual motion to feel worthwhile.

I know I used to feel that way sometimes at work, that if I wasn't getting promoted every year there was seriously something wrong with me and I was failing at my job. Because what I'm going through right now, which is a vague sense of dissatisfaction, is sort of how I used to feel after I got my promotions. It's not exactly like I'm dissatisfied, but there's definitely a feeling of some kind of letdown. It's hard to explain.