On my afternoon walk I started making a list of the crazy things I've been doing for love since February.

1) I started a collection of pinot noir wine because I found out it's hottie boy's favourite wine. Now that I am seriously out of love and don't drink that much wine anyway because my accupuncturist said I'm allergic to red wine, what am I supposed to do with all this wine. Pinot noir isn't cheap either.

2) I bought books by one of his favorite authors, Michael Chabon. This decision I don't regret.

3) I watched the movie "Wonderboys" because he said it's one of his favorite movies and totally hated it. Maybe the book will be better. This episode reminds of going to a restaurant on a friend's recommendation and hating it and then wondering the whole time while you're eating the bad tasting food, whether you need to contintue your friendship with someone who can't tell good food from bad.

4) I watched "The Legend of Bagger Vance" because we got into an argument about it and actually totally loved this movie and even got a wild thought in my head the hottie marina boy was really my Krishna, my guru in disguise. NOT!

5) I fantasized about all the fights we would have, because he's a bit of a slacker and a flirt, and I got right away that these traits of his would drive me off the deep end. I sympathized with his other aquarian girlfriend, the one who he says "ripped his heart out", thinking that if I were her, I'd probably boot his butt out of my life too.

6) I created a database on my palm pilot to track good wines, especially pinot noirs. Never mind that the only time I drink wine is when I'm at a party or at a restaurant and I never drink wine at home anymore ever. This is okay I think, because now I can refer to my list when I go shopping for wine presents.

7) Thinking I was so in love with someone without really getting to know them, just because well, they're as cute as heck! I mean, movie star cute, not rock star cute like the hottie man in the Witchblade episode, but totally movie star cute. Think Charlie Sheen with beautiful blue eyes. And he does yoga too! But I don't know him and somehow while I was in the mountains of West Virginia where people live simply and do things like falling in love for what seems like more practical reasons, like my hostess who is now dating a guy she's known for 20 years, being in major crush with a guy I barely know, did not seem like a good thing.

Maybe that's what vacations are for; to clear your mind of the junk and nonsense of your life. Anyway, screenwriting marina hottie boy was at the end, what I thought he was, a distraction to my writing. And I don't need his kind of distraction in my life right now. Not if it's not going to contribute to my writing career.

It's not that I don't count him out, and don't secretly fantasize that someday we'll get together, but I'm not worried about it now. Besides if I do really well in my writing and publish and have my Andy Warhol "five minutes of fame", who knows what beautiful men I might meet. I read somewhere that a good question to ask yourself about a guy is "if you could have anything you wanted in life, would you still want the guy?" It's not that I wouldn't want screenwriting marina hottie boy, it's just that I don't him well enough to make an informed choice. I don't think I can be very much in love if I'm not informed. It's a sad but true fact.