Yes, I'm still around but I haven't felt much like posting or writing for that matter. I took a seminar in Monterey on Saturday June 11 called "Creating the Love of your Life", and I'm like so depressed now. I took it with a friend of mine and she's depressed as well.
It's kind of like I feel so let down. Like, I created this huge list of what I want in a relationship and I think I'm depressed because I don't think I'll ever find this guy. Never mind that the womwan who created the seminar has an 85% success rate and that the woman who recommended the seminar to me is now married to a guy who she says fulfills 95% of the things she wanted in a guy and in a relationship, I'm like so what. Maybe that can happen to them but not to me. I think I'm just detoxing from all my issues about love and relationships.
Of course, silly me decided after Monterey to go and see "Revenge of the Sith" on Sunday. That was a mistake. I couldn't get my butt in gear so I ended up on Muni at the last possible second thinking I have half an hour to get downtown. But as luck would have it, stupid Muni train breaks down so I miss the first 10 minutes of the movie.
And I was so not in the mood to watch "Ani" descend into the dark side, that I just walked out of the theatre in a daze. Then I decided I needed to a friend's housewarming party in the Haight, which of course was happening during the middle of the Haight Street Fair.
What a zoo that fair is! There were no good bands, and just a bunch of wannabee hippie types milling around. My last experiene of the Haight Street Fair was years ago when I happened upon it and there was this fantastic blues band playing at 10 am. I was my usual dancing self and dancing right in front of the band, and was ignoring the band guy who kept gesturing for me to get up on the stage and dance. The music was great and I wasn't about the join the rest of the flower chicks trying to dance on stage.
But it was great to see my friend since I hadn't seen in her in weeks and wouldn't be seeing her all summer since she's off to Costa Rica and then New Jersey for the summer. But after about 1.5 hours I was dead. I just wanted to go home and process my seminar and lie in bed and wait for depression to come.
S. Brenda Elfgirl - I was told I am an elf in a parallel life, and I live in the Arizona desert exploring what this means. I've had this blog for a while and I write about the things that interest me. My spiritual teacher told me that my journey in life is about balancing "the perfect oneness of a sweetness heart and the effulgent soul". My inner and outer lives are like parallel lines that will one day meet, but only when there is a new way of thinking. Read on as I try to find the balance.
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