From Carol's Collection of Curiosities (these are great):

NEW WORDS FOR 2003, and God converts to Microsoft Windows, experiences salvation failure; disraught Christians lament not having Saved themselves more often.

Some Keanu Reeves movie is on TV. I totally adore Keanu Reeves. He looks like guys I grew up with, he's the ultimate cutie, and he sounds like guys I grew up with too, a combination of valley boy and surfer dude speak, plus he sounds like he could be in the Jetsons cartoon (like oh my god, he's like so tubular, so dealer's high, so heavenly scrummy and sometimes he can even act!)

I can't wait for the Matrix sequel. Bring that Neo boy back!!!

I'd take Keanu Reeves over Tom Cruise, Nicholas Cage, Legolas from LOTR (have to think about this one -he's an elf boy afterall), Matthew McConaughey, Colin Farrell, Russell Crowe (the man can act), The Fiennes Boys (Ralph and Joseph), Ewan McGregor, and perhaps even Mr. Darcy - Colin Firth (maybe not).

Boy, do I just love conspiracy theorists. Here's one I found on the coincidence of having SARS break out at the same time we go to war with Iraq, SENDERBERL NOW SEES AND EXPLAINS CHINA’S MOTIVE BEHIND SARS.

I had a fun day today. I went to check out the Cherry Blossom festival in Japantown, and ended up watching 1) taiko drumming 2) japanese court dances 3) a demonstration in Ikebana the art of japanese floral arrangement and 4) a martial arts demonstrations from two dojos.

We had many japanese neighbours on our block, so I grew up with japanese culture. Our next door neighbour always gave up japanese sweets (they're not very sweet) on New Years day, and other japanese holidays. On Boy's Day May 5, they call it Children's Day in Japan now, our japanese neighbours flew carp/koi fish streamers from bamboo poles. I always thought if I had a son, I would celebrate Boy's Day and fly carp/koi fish for him. As a child, I always loved the carp fish flying on May 5.

Girl's Day is March 3, and on that day our japanese neighbor always gave me a handmade japanse doll.

We also had a japanese television station in Hawaii with subtitles, and I sometimes watched the shows. I still remember some of their tv movies I saw growing up, which were mostly about the effects of the nuclear bomb on the families of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. One show that I remember was about how all the children of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were sent into the mountains before the nuclear bomb attack, and came home afterwards to find out they had only one parent or were orphans.

In the movie, one of the children now grown up remembered vividly what her life was like before the bomb attack and how happy and rich it was, and how depressing and impoverished her life was afterwards. Her dad was so shell shocked, he never talked about what happened or her mother's death either. He just worked very hard to take care of the both of them. It was such a sad, sad show.

You don't see shows on American TV, where they dwell so much years later on the effects of war on our country. Maybe with 9/11 they will, but I wonder if they will show it on TV all the time like they used to in Japan.

I'm too young to remember, but I wonder if they has tv shows about what life was like after World War 2 and the Vietnam War in America. But then America was not attacked in those wars.

I love japanese food as well, even more so than chinese food, only because I grew up eating japanese food more than I ate chinese food.

The japanese culture is so full of contradictions. On the hand, much of japanese culture is so refined, ordered and delicate like Ikebana, the tea ceremony, japanese court dances and bonsai. But then there's the wild and tribal stuff, like sumo wrestling, which is so fun to watch, and taiko drumming. On the one hand, you have the big noisy cities like Tokyo, and on the other hand, you have the buddhist temples and giant peaceful buddha statue at Kamakura.

I've never been to Japan, and I'd love to go. Everybody I know that's gone says it's just an amazing place. Perhaps my next vacation will be to Japan. I wonder how much this trip will set me back.

I signed the lease today on my new one bedroom apartment with the ocean viws.

Lions and tigers and bears, OH MY! I'm scared.

Experts say moving is one of life's biggest traumatic events. I've been in my place for almost 8 years. I've been happy here for the most part, except for probably the last two years. Things just became progressively worse over the two years, and then circumstances lined up which made living here intolerable as well as impractical. I probably wouldn't have moved had it not been for the noisy neighbour upstairs and my needing to work at home.

I can see myself at the end of my life musing that the path and journey I took to get to my new apartment was fated to be. I was ready to make the change, but change is hard so life got in the way and forced me.

I know I am moving to a roomier and quieter place. I have parking, which is just unbelievable. Most apartments in SF don't come with parking, or landlords charge you extra for it. My parking was included as part of the rent. I am on the top floor of a two-story, four apartment building, so there are no apartments on either side of me and no need to worry about noisy neighbors except for the person below me. The place is carpeted, but I'm putting my own carpet in anway just to block noises coming from below my apartment.

I met my new neighbour who lives across the hall from me. He seemed a nice older man. He was wearing a puka shell necklace, which he told me he got as a present from a friend in Hawaii. Just seeing the puka shell necklace and hearing Hawaii mentioned made me think maybe this was a good sign that I had found a good place to live. I hope so.

I added a new link under Sites to See. I found The Moonlit Road site a long time ago by chance. Here's what the first page says, "Ghost stories and strange folktales of the American South, told by the region's most celebrated storytellers."

You can either read the stories or listen to them with Real Audio. If you like ghost stories and oral storytelling, you'll love this site. On the site right now is a story called "A Mother's Love" from North Georgia. It's a good story and very eerie!

It's probably sick jokesters, but still this is so not funny - Envelopes containing a white powder were opened Tuesday at three Alameda County law enforcement agencies, prompting hazardous material teams to respond in each instance.

This is daily devotional from the Upper Room - www. upperroom.org.

KEPT IN LOVE

Quite dramatically it dawns upon you: There is a God. There's more to life than what I have been seeing. There is a God. And God makes a claim on my life.

Perhaps at the very same moment, you get a whole different view of yourself. Scales fall off. It is horrible. "I've been living for me. I've been curved in on myself all these years. ... All the love lost!
And the betrayals -- by neglect as much as anything! The blindness! Woe is me. I'm a mess that can't be fixed. I've got to close all these thoughts up and get out of here." The boat is sinking.

But then, if you are blessed, just as soon as the horror of self-knowledge is embraced, there comes another feeling of presence. A gentle voice which speaks from the depths of the soul, even from the depths of the universe. "It's all right. Do not be afraid. I know who you are. Forgiveness is mine to grant. I'm not here to destroy your life. I'm here to remake it." It feels like death at first, but then there is new life. "See, this coal upon your lips makes them clean. I
remove your sins."

The sudden apprehension of God's reality creates a sudden knowledge of self. And you perceive a horrible gap between yourself and God. But immediately into the breach God pours love and forgiveness. There is an intuition that God knows full well who you are and loves you
anyway. Beneath the crisis of the meaning of life, whatever form it takes, God gives a sense that all is well and you are kept in love. God lifts you out of the sinking boat.

-- Gerrit Scott Dawson
HEARTFELT

Here's what The Upper Room is about:

From its beginning, The Upper Room® magazine has been interdenominational. We seek to build on what draws us together in Christian belief. The intent of the founders of the magazine was that it be non-sectarian and non-doctrinaire, and we work to include many perspectives in what we publish. The magazine was created in response to a call from a Sunday-school-class prayer group in Texas, who asked the church to provide for families a devotional resource to use for home worship each day. It was the time of the Great Depression, and these people felt that prayer and Bible study could help people face the difficult times with faith.

The magazine was begun by the Home Missions Board of the Methodist Episcopal Church South in 1935. This is a predecessor denomination of the United Methodist Church, which still owns the magazine. Though the magazine is owned by the United Methodist Church, it is financially separate from it. We receive no grants or subsidy from the United Methodist Church or from any other denomination. Our income comes completely from sale of our magazines and books.
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I always see copies of the magazine at church, and sometime pick it up to read. Many members of my church write meditations for the magazine which have been published. Now I get a daily devotion by email.

The Upper Room website also takes online prayers. I totally believe in the power of prayer, and there's nothing like a group of people praying for you for your hard times to turn around. After I submitted my prayer request, within a couple of days I swear I could feel people praying for me. It's an intense feeling that is just amazing!

For the Teddy Roosevelt fans:

To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. -Theodore Roosevelt, 26th US President (1858-1919).

I found this in my email. It's very funny. From MIT, Triolet Challenge.

In the continual effort of MIT to promote artistic abilities, students in Steve Ward's sections were invited to submit, as a weekly writing assignment, a triolet (in lieu of the 1-page writeup). The triolet did not have to address the specific question of the assignment directly, but had to relate (at least marginally) to the topic.

Poetry about computers ... something about this makes me giggle. Some of it is actually very funny.

Enjoy!

Here's one for the conspiracy theorists. I was listening to a radio program last night and they were talking about the incident where the marine hung the American flag on the Saddam Hussein statue. Apparently, the Marine hung the flag upside down (blue stars section down) which mean "distress". The Marine was later interviewed on CNN by Larry King, and he said he was told by his superiors to hang the flag that way.

The person on the radio was speculating about the Marine's actions, since Marines are taught from the get go how the treat the American flag. The person on the radio also said that no one in the news media commented about it.

I remember hearing about this incident, and I thought the buzz on was that it was a mistake for the Marine to even put the American flag on the Hussein statue because it was like a symbol of America conquering Iraq. The coalition forces didn't want to send that message, so they quickly took the flag off. But why was it hung upside down in the first place? Wer the Marines sending a silent message about the "real state of the war in Iraq"? That maybe what those 600 embedded journalists, and all the other international media are reporting are not true, and it's a sham war and that particular Marine's boss wanted the whole world to know it. That, and this is what the radio person said last night, Saddam Hussein and those missing Iraqi leaders whose pictures are now on playing cards (Pokemon watch out) were cut a deal and are now living somewhere and enjoying themselves on a tropical island.

Conspiracy theorists, discuss amongst yourselves.

You need to sign up to read the NY Times online, but there's a great op/ed piece written by Eason Jordan, a CNN news executive, which was published today (4/11/2003). The piece is titled The News We Kept to Ourselves, and in it Jordan talks about the atrocities of the Iraqi regime that CNN never reported.

Some choice bits.
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I came to know several Iraqi officials well enough that they confided in me that Saddam Hussein was a maniac who had to be removed. One Foreign Ministry officer told me of a colleague who, finding out his brother had been executed by the regime, was forced, as a test of loyalty, to write a letter of congratulations on the act to Saddam Hussein. An aide to Uday once told me why he had no front teeth: henchmen had ripped them out with pliers and told him never to wear dentures, so he would always remember the price to be paid for upsetting his boss. Again, we could not broadcast anything these men said to us.

We also had to worry that our reporting might endanger Iraqis not on our payroll. I knew that CNN could not report that Saddam Hussein's eldest son, Uday, told me in 1995 that he intended to assassinate two of his brothers-in-law who had defected and also the man giving them asylum, King Hussein of Jordan. If we had gone with the story, I was sure he would have responded by killing the Iraqi translator who was the only other participant in the meeting. After all, secret police thugs brutalized even senior officials of the Information Ministry, just to keep them in line (one such official has long been missing all his fingernails).

Then there were the events that were not unreported but that nonetheless still haunt me. A 31-year-old Kuwaiti woman, Asrar Qabandi, was captured by Iraqi secret police occupying her country in 1990 for "crimes," one of which included speaking with CNN on the phone. They beat her daily for two months, forcing her father to watch. In January 1991, on the eve of the American-led offensive, they smashed her skull and tore her body apart limb by limb. A plastic bag containing her body parts was left on the doorstep of her family's home.
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Such lovely people the Iraqi regime, something I'm sure the sign painter from Berkeley who wrote "We love you Saddam" would say. Well at least the Berkeley sign painter won't have to worry about finding a loved one's body parts in a plastic bag on their doorstep, since the person had no beef with Saddam.

When some of the anti-war protestors talk about how horrible America is, I think they need to remember that in places like Iraq things were much worse. Had these anti-war people protested against Saddam, I'm sure they would be missing what? fingernails, teeth, their children, their lives?

A strange match. John Cusak and Meg Ryan. I don't know. It sounds odd.

Wow, I'm on Blogshares whatever that is. I found it in my sitemeter report.

I've been spending the last two days playing with my company laptop. The Company finally gave me an IBM Thinkpad R31. What a pain in the butt the machine has been. I only got it because a salesman quit, so they had an extra one around. At least it's new. My coworkers got older ones.

I think I would preferred an older one, because mine didn't come with a docking station or port replication. Now we're trying to figure out how to connect a keyboard and a mouse, and it's a pain. The USB to PS2 connectors don't work, so now the solution is to buy a USB keyboard and mouse. Stupid IBM! They don't have a keyboard and mouse port on the back of the laptop. IBM is known for manufacturing their machines so you can only use IBM products. I hope this isn't the case, but I wouldn't surprised.

Then I spent the whole morning trying to figure out how to connect to the company VPN. That was another picnic. After two hours, I think we finally fixed it but I won't know till I take it home this weekend and test it out. I should have tested it here again, but I didn't. I've just about had enough of my laptop.

I asked my boss if I should just stick with a desktop, and he said to no. He had a hard time with the company IT department when he got his laptop, and he said just to stick it out and make the IT people fix it. I just have no patience for this kind of stuff, and I used to have to work at an IT Helpdesk. It's just so frustrating for me. I don't understand why things can't just work, or why the IT people don't test the machines they hand out.

The last two days at work have been so horrid for me that I haven't been able to work. I'm sure my bosses love that. I emailed our VP about all the laptop problems I was having, thinking maybe he would say something to the IT department. I doubt it though. He's probably thinking "didn't I tell her she could only have a desktop?" He works from a laptop, so maybe he knew the process would be this painful.

I woke up this morning, turned on the TV to get the traffic and weather report and watched in amazement as the Iraqis were trying to bring a statue of Hussein down. Very surreal!

I agree with the prez. I think it's too early to declare a victory yet, but it was nice to see the Iraqi people happy with us being there for once. On CNN, even Al Jazeera was being apologetic. Funny, how the appearance of a victory changes one's attitudes suddenly.

What's frightening is the stories of the Iraqi regime put children in jail because they wouldn't join the youth party. What about those scary torture chambers and torture tools. Some man on the radio said there were earlier videos of the Iraqi resistance shooting people especially women in the back for running up to the Coalition soldiers. He was so angry.

I wonder if there will still be anti-war demonstrations now. I don't think the war will be over until most of our troops come home, and they find the missing ones.

Someone should document all the media spin about the war. Didn't some journalist say early on that the coalition forces were in a "quagmire"? It's a reflection of our society that the journalist wanted an instant war with instant results. War used to take years not weeks, so how can can you call state of the war on just a few days of battles. Don't journalists take history courses where they talk about all the wars that have gone through the years?

It was fun for me being a "pro-war" person to be on the cruise. I thought for sure the cruise would be full of anti-war people because it was mostly full of California people. Suprisingly, most people were "pro-war".

As soon as I told people I was from San Francisco, I think they expected me to go on sam anti-war rant. When I told them my views, people seemed to open and up and relax and we could talk about how worried we were for our soldiers, how biased and anti-american the media was, and how bad Hussein is.

We did run into a few anti-war people from the Bay Area, but they had the same opinion of the anti-war protests that I did. The anti-war protests were mostly being run by anti-american socialists groups, they were violent, and they were focused on a city that's mostly anti-war. These people refused to attend the anti-war protests and they were very anti-war.

One woman was a former Vietnam war protestor who found out through her father, who used to work for the government, that the FBI kept files on all the Vietnam war protestors. Her father found out she was protesting the Vietnam war because the FBI told him about it, and showed him her file. Her father had no idea what she was doing. The woman laughed when she said this and told us her father was a "big time republican".

She told me that the FBI were probably doing the same with the anti-war protestors. This piece of information was scary. When I was taking russian language courses in college, my professors used to joke that just by taking the class we the students were now under FBI scrutiny and we had "files". I'm sure with the Patriot Act, all this kind of stuff is now in hyperdrive mode.

Like I said, it's been a very surreal day. I've got lots more to write about, but I'm tired now. I feel like a witness to history and it's a very strange feeling. It's like a 9/11 feeling only weirder. Events in the world seem to be happening at a dizzying rate.

And SARS is scaring the heck out of me, only because it looks like China is covering up how many death and illnesses they have. Once the war is over, it will SARS, SARS, SARS all day and all night long. If you think the war news was worse, wait till the media gets a hold of SARS. We'll have pictures and videos of sick people, quarantined people and people walking around with masks on their faces, not to mention interviews with grieving relatives, tired doctors and other healthcare people, plus probably a SARS death counter. I'm hoping SARS doesn't turn into a media circus, but I have my doubts.

A week out of my routine daily blogging has made me not want to blog for some reason.

On Monday, I started apartment hunting. I want to move out of my apartment by May 1. I have to start working from home by May 5, and I need a bigger place.

Day 1 of apartment hunting was so depressing. I went to look at a place two blocks from where I live, and it was so small and dirty. The price was great and it came with parking, but it had no view and I think it was even smaller than my place.

Afterwards, I came home, freaked out and then cried myself to sleep. I woke up aorund midnight and read some of my inspirational books. One book said to not get stopped by what looks like negative events. There are no negative events. Every event has a message.

For me the message of that depressing small apartment with parking was I need to spend more money to get a nicer place with parking, and I need to find a place that makes me happy.

Today, I looked at an apartment that was the amount I thought I would have to spend but didn't want to spend. It wasn't in a neighborhood I was interested in, but the ad said the apartment was huge and it came with parking.

The apartment wasn't the greatest, but it did have two things going for it. The bedroom and living room have ocean views and I get my own storage closet. I put a bid in right away, but there were many people looking at the place so I'll have to wait and see if I get accepted.

I think I have another place to look at tomorrow in a neighborhood I wanted to live in, so hopefully I can do that tomorrow. The guy showing the ocean view place said he was going to be out of town tomorrow, so it's not like he's going to make a decision right away.

The place I'm looking at tomorrow is a neighborhood I want to live in and I'm familiar with. The ocean view place is not in a bad neighborhood, but I'm not that familiar with it. I looked around a bit, and it's got a nice little shopping district with coffee places, restaurants and stores.

Of course, now I'm freaking out and looking at my place and thinking about packing all this stuff up and moving it. I've been in my place for about 8 years, so I've accumulated a ton of stuff. I've been trying to throw stuff out, but I still have more to do. No wonder people hate to move. It's a nightmare to pack up all of your stuff.

At least if I get the ocean view place, I'll have a storage closet to store stuff but I don't want to move anything that I'm going to throw out later. Moving is so traumatic. I want to make three passes through my stuff. I've already made one pass through my stuff, and need to make two more passes.

The only good thing about moving is I get to simplify my possessions. I'm a pack rat and it's hard to throw stuff out. The last time I moved, I threw a ton of stuff out and I still felt I had too many things. I don't want that same feeling when I move this time.

Got back from my cruise yesterday. I was so tired. I napped all day and night. I had gotten so used to the motions of the ship, that it's taking awhile for me to find my land legs.

I gained about 5-6 pounds from my vacation, but that's to be expected since I didn't monitor my food. When I go back to eating the way I normally eat, the weight will come off.

I drank way too much on my vacation. I'm so not used to drinking like that anymore. I hated the way drinking made me feel. I felt so tired all the time and sluggish. Drinking alcohol so saps my energy. I don't mind maybe a half a glass of wine at dinner and a cocktail or two, and a night of drinking at parties, but not every day. Being tired from drinking was eye-opening. Maybe I'm turning into an old lady before my time.

It always amazes me how much people drink. More amazing because I used to drink like that. But now that level of alcohol consumption doesn't interest me. I always feel like I'm self-medicating, and it bothers me to think about what I'm self-medicating myself from. I think I use food as self-medication too, and shopping as well.

Why do shopping, food and alcohol make people feel good, when in reality they aren't good for you. Alcohol is a depressant, shopping empties your wallet of cash, and food makes you gain weight and causes health problems down the road.

I'm still tired, and I think a little depressed from the alcohol, so more napping today and watching the war go by on CNN.

Things I've been doing on my cruise.

Getting all the drink specials at all the various bars on the ship. I am on a pleasant buzz from 3 pm on.
Eating 5 full meals a day. Food is plentiful and somehow sailing makes you very hungry. Today I had two breakfast meals. I'm not sure why other than the fact than I can.
I played Name that Movie Tune today in a team of three other passengers, and we took first place. What's scary is we all knew the words to some of the songs. They should have named it themes from movies before 1980. Our prize was keychains with the name of the cruise line. Yippee.
Reading "Phantoms" by Dean Koontz. Great vacation reading.
Sitting on the deck chair and reading for half and hour, then falling asleep for an hour, then reading again, and falling asleep. Repeat cycle all day.
Thinking about playing "Bingo" on board, but I keep stopping myself.
Watching people line dance after dinner. Some people really know how to do this stuff.
On formal night, sitting with my friend and doing a better than Joan and Melissa Rivers running commentary on the way people are dressed, and what mistakes they're making. We're thinking of starting our own cable access channel show and calling it "Badly Dressed People on a Cruise".
Deciding that after a certain age, a woman should never wear a sleeveless dress unless you're willing to spend 10-12 arms working on your arms and have less than 15% body fat.
Deciding that no matter how great your legs are, there comes a certain time where you should stop wearing skirt at mid thigh level.

First night on board the ship, and already I'm at a computer and surfing the Net. I'm in a computer room right next to the casino on deck 7. It was glorious sailing underneat the Golden Gate Bridge. How often do you get to do that in a luxury liner. The best part is that people were waving at us from the bridge. That was cool.

When I walk around, I can feel the boat move. I keep thinking I'm in an earthquake, because that's the only time the ground has shaken for me in the past. But no, I'm on a huge boat sailing down the California coast to Monterey.

This cruise reminds me so such of being in Las Vegas. It's like a slice of America, full of people that I never get to see. The people on the boat are from everywhere, although there are many Californians. Sadly the boat is not at capacity, and my friend and I wonder how long this cruise line will sail out of San Francisco.

The cruise director made a joke tonight about how Ft. Lauderdale, his hometown, is like San Francisco. My friend and I looked at each other, and said "like so not". I grew up in a very small town, and this cruise has a small town feel. We keep running into the same people all the time. I thought I moved to San Francisco so I wouldn't have to live in a fishbowl, but here I am in a fishbowl of a cruise.

So far so good, I suppose. As we set sail out of San Francisco, we popped open a bottle of Bollie's that my friend had smuggled on board. Sipping champagne as you set sail is not a bad way to start your vacation.

It's a hot and sunny day in San Francisco, even here in the fog belt part of the city where I live.

I had a manicure and pedicure this morning, so my nails look pretty and painted. I can't believe manicures and pedicures were a regular part of my life a few years ago, when I used to wear suits to work every day. Now painted nails are a nice and luxurious treat for me.

I got my eyebrows and upper lip waxed as well. I usually do my brows and waxing myself, but the salon does such a better job. There is nothing like waxing the hair off your body, but take it from me, don't wax your underarms. It's so not worth the money. The underarm hair grows back in two days. What's the point of that?

I shaved my legs very thoroughly as well, shaving once, then buffpuffing the legs, then shaving once again for good measure, and then buffpuffing again to finish. I love the feel of my own shaved legs. They feel so smooth and silky.

It was nice to see that the salon I usually go to was full of women and men having beauty treatments. There is something comforting in seeing that in the midst of a bad economy and war, people still have enough money to beautify themselves.

I'm not sure if I'll post when I'm on the cruise. Supposedly I'll be able to log on from the boat, at a rate of 50 cents a minute, so I may post although it will be very short pieces.

I wonder if there will be TV on the boat. I was vacation in Bali when the Gulf War 1started, so I guess it's fitting I'll be on vacation on the high seas on a luxury liner sailing down the california coast to Mexico during Gulf War 2.

My parents taught me never to discuss religion and politics in polite company, and my father said even then, only with people you know very, very well. It will be interesting to see if the war comes up as a topic. I don't usually say anything with vehement anti-war people, especially when they're emotional and attacking Bush ad hominem. I mean, what's the point. I'm not going to have a critical discussion on the pros and cons of war, and I'll be accused as a Bush supporter, which I am so not. I'll probably just smile and nod, and walk away.

I was thinking about my pro-war stance on the way home last night. Having been an anti-government protestor since the age of 16, and having always felt apart from american society in general, it's kind of cool to think that I finally feel somewhat normal and a part of american society. Maybe I'm not such a freaky geek nerd girl after all.