I saw the opera "La damnation de Faust" by Berlioz on Thursday. I read the review afterwards, 'Faust' triumphs with or without orgy, and agreed with the reviewer that I couldn't hear the singing of the lead playing Faust.
I was up in the cheap seats, in the balcony and thinking, isn't this guy miked up? I've never had that experience before, and it was very annoying. I could hear the choir fine, and the other singers, but not Faust.
Then I felt bad because the last opera I'd seen was Laz Buhrmann's "La Boheme", and a big deal was made about the singers being miked in that production.
Oh well. When I saw "Turandot", I could hear the the prince perfectly, so it was definitely the fault of the opera singer playing Faust.
And yes, there was an S&M San Francisco style orgy going on, and one point a woman in the choir took off her her blouse revealing her black bra. Some guy in the choir also took off his tux shirt, but the choir chick in the black bra got the most attention, especially when she started kissing the woman next to her.
Now there's a way to pack people in to see the opera, especially the men of both persuasions not to mention the young ones, lesbian sex scenes, S&M threesomes, lots of black leather S&M get ups, and men in black leather jock straps with their hairy butts hanging out.
Plus there was that one scene in that men only tavern where two nuns and two priests come out, and then strip their clothes off to reveal themselves as men wearing fake breasts and jock straps (and yes more hairy butts) who then are groped by the men in the tavern.
But the singing was divine, except for that darned lead tenor! And the opera was short; two hours with no break.
There were many references to easter, and at the end children came out with the girls dressed like they were at their first communion and the boys were carrying crosses. It added a nice counter balance to all the sex scenes, I think.
Oh, and did I mention that the girl singer had short hair, which kind of made her look like a young boy, if you know what I mean. Or maybe she was supposed to have that Julie Andrews nun look from "The Sound of Music".
It was all very questionable, I think. But then this is San Francisco and you're going to have to play to all types of desires I think. A young boy, a young girl, what does it matter, because in the end Faust goes to hell and the young boy/girl, led astray by desire, is redeemed.
Saturday, July 05, 2003
Thursday, July 03, 2003
This is probably really old and I know I've seen it before, but I found it on a site about Kauai and I still think it's very funny.
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other
system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this program.
Can you help me, please!!!
Thanks, Joe
=================================
Dear Joe:
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that life 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0,
so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.
Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause.
The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.
Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 4.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.6. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck.
Tech Support.
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other
system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this program.
Can you help me, please!!!
Thanks, Joe
=================================
Dear Joe:
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that life 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0,
so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.
Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause.
The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.
Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 4.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.6. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck.
Tech Support.
One of the things I do miss about home is the hourly "Surf Report". How can you live without knowing what the waves are doing?
Here's a fun surfing site I check out when I feel homesick and need to see some wave action; Surfline.
I love the cam shots of waves all over the world! Note to self: check out all the surfing stores to buy 1) surfing dvds and videos and 2) long sleeve surfing brand t-shirts with writing on the sleeves. I love long sleeve t-shirts with designs and/or writing on the sleeves.
Here's a fun surfing site I check out when I feel homesick and need to see some wave action; Surfline.
I love the cam shots of waves all over the world! Note to self: check out all the surfing stores to buy 1) surfing dvds and videos and 2) long sleeve surfing brand t-shirts with writing on the sleeves. I love long sleeve t-shirts with designs and/or writing on the sleeves.
Anti-americanism may be popular in Europe and the rest of the world, but it's not stopping fashion designers for men's clothes in Paris from using american-style clothes in their current collections; Macho America Storms Europe's Runways.
This article sounds like it comes right out out of a science fiction story, and will probably have ramifications for the future of genetic research, Scientists Produce Human Embryos of Mixed Gender.
From the LA Times, a very interesting article on a play; The comedy "US and Them" probes the special but fraying relationship between Britons and Americans.
Two interesting points which I find very true.
"I talked with Tamsin about what it must be like to grow up thinking that you live in the greatest nation on Earth," Darnell says, "For the American character to say, 'Every day I thank God for my country' — in certain parts of America, it would be seen as, 'Of course you do,' whereas from an English perspective, it's seen as something to laugh at. "
I think I do wake up and think I lived in the greatest country in the world.
" "I can't pretend it hasn't been difficult," she says with a sigh. "Anti-Americanism has become the only acceptable prejudice in the world, but I'm not in favor of anti-anythingism. We criticize American policies, but we all buy American things and watch American films and drool over American celebrities. We have to examine what it is about America that we don't like and how much of it is actually reflecting us.
The playwright concludes: "At the same time as we criticize America, we're all becoming more American. If we are victims of American cultural imperialism, then we have to look at what part we play in going along with it." "
Two interesting points which I find very true.
"I talked with Tamsin about what it must be like to grow up thinking that you live in the greatest nation on Earth," Darnell says, "For the American character to say, 'Every day I thank God for my country' — in certain parts of America, it would be seen as, 'Of course you do,' whereas from an English perspective, it's seen as something to laugh at. "
I think I do wake up and think I lived in the greatest country in the world.
" "I can't pretend it hasn't been difficult," she says with a sigh. "Anti-Americanism has become the only acceptable prejudice in the world, but I'm not in favor of anti-anythingism. We criticize American policies, but we all buy American things and watch American films and drool over American celebrities. We have to examine what it is about America that we don't like and how much of it is actually reflecting us.
The playwright concludes: "At the same time as we criticize America, we're all becoming more American. If we are victims of American cultural imperialism, then we have to look at what part we play in going along with it." "
Wednesday, July 02, 2003
The ex-catholic brother and I were talking last Sunday about being catholic. I told him that the priests serving at my childhood church were from the Marist order. He said "that explains everything".
I asked him what he meant, and he said that the Marists were originally from the Benedictine order, or something like that, and that the Marists were the liberal catholics.
He told me that most of the catholics churches in San Francisco were conservative, which he said was so strange since San Francisco has the reputation for being a liberal city.
I've been researching the Marists, the Benedictine order, and the history of catholicism in France. The Marists priesthood was born in the aftermath of the French Revolution.
There was an article on the Net about liberal catholicism coming out of France, after the French revolution. There's just too much to take in and to synthesize for me to make sense of it tonight. But I kind of the gist of what he's saying.
The ex-catholic brother also said that he thought the presbyterian church was a strain from the Benedicitine order. I have no idea what he meant when he said this, but I'm dying to find out.
I asked him what he meant, and he said that the Marists were originally from the Benedictine order, or something like that, and that the Marists were the liberal catholics.
He told me that most of the catholics churches in San Francisco were conservative, which he said was so strange since San Francisco has the reputation for being a liberal city.
I've been researching the Marists, the Benedictine order, and the history of catholicism in France. The Marists priesthood was born in the aftermath of the French Revolution.
There was an article on the Net about liberal catholicism coming out of France, after the French revolution. There's just too much to take in and to synthesize for me to make sense of it tonight. But I kind of the gist of what he's saying.
The ex-catholic brother also said that he thought the presbyterian church was a strain from the Benedicitine order. I have no idea what he meant when he said this, but I'm dying to find out.
Here's a site with some great touristy type pictures of Kauai: Kauai Image Galleries.
There's even a picture of Salt Pond, which is one of my favorite beaches near where I grew up. It's an enclosed pond, so you dont' have to worry about riptides when you swim. It was a favorite party beach when I was high school. One night my friends and I had a drunken moonlight swim, and then afterwards we laid on the beach in hopes of getting a "moon tan".
There's even a picture of Salt Pond, which is one of my favorite beaches near where I grew up. It's an enclosed pond, so you dont' have to worry about riptides when you swim. It was a favorite party beach when I was high school. One night my friends and I had a drunken moonlight swim, and then afterwards we laid on the beach in hopes of getting a "moon tan".
What To Expect On Kauai (from some internet site)
Location
Kauai is an island, part of the State of Hawaii and the United States. It is about 100 miles (160 kilometers) northwest of Honolulu, which is on the island of Oahu.
Air Transportation
Unless you have your own boat, or are on a cruise, the only way to reach Kauai is by air. United Airlines, American Airlines, Hawaiian Airlines and Aloha Airlines fly to the airport in Lihue on Kauai from Honolulu and various airports on the Mainland USA. There is also a small commuter plane that flies once a day from Honolulu to Princeville on the North Shore of Kauai. Flights from California directly to Honolulu or Lihue take about five hours. Please note that the Lihue Airport does not have any currency exchange services.
The Social Environment
Kauai is rural. The population is about 55,000 scattered mostly around the coast and concentrated in a few small towns. Overall, sidewalks and wheelchair ramps are very limited. It is the custom of most residents to remove their footgear when they enter a home, but not a store. There is not a great deal of evening entertainment. (no kidding! you are in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the pacific ocean and you can't drive off.)
The Physical Environment
Kauai is a tropical island, with all its implications.
Weather - at its best, a balmy 77F (25C), with blue skies, puffy white clouds, soft breezes and gentle waves. At its worst, either stormy and rainy with high waves, or very hot and humid with waves doing whatever they feel like. The weather is very changeable, and there is no guarantee of any kind for any season.
Swimming - you must always use caution, because the waves and currents are unpredictable, even on a calm day. The rules are "If in doubt, don't go out" and "If you do go out, look about." People are lost every year, either by large waves they weren't looking at or by riptides. If you should get caught in a riptide (a strong current that pulls you out to sea for up to a hundred yards or so) just go with it until it weakens and swim along the shore until you can get back in.
Wildlife - no snakes and nothing larger than wild boar, which you are unlikely to see unless you go hunting for it in the mountains. Lots of birds, and lots of insects. You are most likely to encounter mosquitoes, geckos (small lizards that often live indoors), cockroaches, spiders of various sizes, and, possibly, a centipede or two.
Location
Kauai is an island, part of the State of Hawaii and the United States. It is about 100 miles (160 kilometers) northwest of Honolulu, which is on the island of Oahu.
Air Transportation
Unless you have your own boat, or are on a cruise, the only way to reach Kauai is by air. United Airlines, American Airlines, Hawaiian Airlines and Aloha Airlines fly to the airport in Lihue on Kauai from Honolulu and various airports on the Mainland USA. There is also a small commuter plane that flies once a day from Honolulu to Princeville on the North Shore of Kauai. Flights from California directly to Honolulu or Lihue take about five hours. Please note that the Lihue Airport does not have any currency exchange services.
The Social Environment
Kauai is rural. The population is about 55,000 scattered mostly around the coast and concentrated in a few small towns. Overall, sidewalks and wheelchair ramps are very limited. It is the custom of most residents to remove their footgear when they enter a home, but not a store. There is not a great deal of evening entertainment. (no kidding! you are in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the pacific ocean and you can't drive off.)
The Physical Environment
Kauai is a tropical island, with all its implications.
Weather - at its best, a balmy 77F (25C), with blue skies, puffy white clouds, soft breezes and gentle waves. At its worst, either stormy and rainy with high waves, or very hot and humid with waves doing whatever they feel like. The weather is very changeable, and there is no guarantee of any kind for any season.
Swimming - you must always use caution, because the waves and currents are unpredictable, even on a calm day. The rules are "If in doubt, don't go out" and "If you do go out, look about." People are lost every year, either by large waves they weren't looking at or by riptides. If you should get caught in a riptide (a strong current that pulls you out to sea for up to a hundred yards or so) just go with it until it weakens and swim along the shore until you can get back in.
Wildlife - no snakes and nothing larger than wild boar, which you are unlikely to see unless you go hunting for it in the mountains. Lots of birds, and lots of insects. You are most likely to encounter mosquitoes, geckos (small lizards that often live indoors), cockroaches, spiders of various sizes, and, possibly, a centipede or two.
Information about my home island.
The tropical paradise of Kaua'i basks amidst the sparkling blue waters of the Pacific Ocean, about 20 minutes by air from Honolulu. Formed some six million years ago, the island encompasses roughly 550 miles and is the oldest and northernmost of the main Hawaiian Islands.
Here's one of the official sites: Discover Kaua'i.
The tropical paradise of Kaua'i basks amidst the sparkling blue waters of the Pacific Ocean, about 20 minutes by air from Honolulu. Formed some six million years ago, the island encompasses roughly 550 miles and is the oldest and northernmost of the main Hawaiian Islands.
Here's one of the official sites: Discover Kaua'i.
Comments from the anti-semitic professor at Oxford on the Oxford University site; Comments by Professor Andrew Wilkie.
I spoke to my eldest aunt, who lives on Kauai, and she said my grandma will be home by the time I get to Hawaii. I think my aunt was happy to know I was coming, because she's the one who's going to be taking care of grandma since she lives nearby.
The rest of the family will see grandma at the hospital, but it's my aunt who will be the major caretaker until my uncle arrives in August to move in and take care of her. My aunt said it will be nice for her to have help and relief.
My grandma will probably freak out though because that means I'll be making her meals. She's an excellent cook, and she knows I'm not up to her skill in the kitchen. Oh well. My aunt can't really cook either, so I don't feel that bad.
I went through a Jack Benny fit trying to decide how to get home. I decided in the end to fly on Aloha, because they're partnered with United Airlines. With my airline mileage flying to Hawaii and back, I'll have enough for a free trip on United.
It would have been cheaper to go with Suntrips, and I've booked with them before and they're not that bad. But for an extra $200, I'll earn a free trip on United within the continental United Staes. Got to use up my United Airlines miles before anything else happens with them.
I'm spending 8 days on Kauai, then I'll fly to Honolulu to visit with my brother, shop and be a tourist. I have a hankering to see the Honolulu Zoo. I haven't been there since I was a kid.
This is the first time I won't be staying in a hotel on some part of my trip home. My brother told me I could stay at his house, and I said yes. He doesn't live that far from downtown Waikiki, the bus system in Honolulu is decent for a city its size, and it's only for a few nights.
I love staying in hotels, and I think I'm going to miss that part of the trip the most.
My screenwriting teacher is spending the summer surfing on the North Shore of Oahu, and I may send her an email to see if she wants to get together.
I'm relieved to have the logistics part of my trip taken care of. I bought a ticket, reserved my rental car, and even made airport shuttle reservations.
Now I have to get ready for the emotional part of my trip. I have a feeling grandma won't live past September, and this will probably be the last time I'll see her.
It makes me happy to think that I may be returning the physical love and care that she gave me growing up.
The rest of the family will see grandma at the hospital, but it's my aunt who will be the major caretaker until my uncle arrives in August to move in and take care of her. My aunt said it will be nice for her to have help and relief.
My grandma will probably freak out though because that means I'll be making her meals. She's an excellent cook, and she knows I'm not up to her skill in the kitchen. Oh well. My aunt can't really cook either, so I don't feel that bad.
I went through a Jack Benny fit trying to decide how to get home. I decided in the end to fly on Aloha, because they're partnered with United Airlines. With my airline mileage flying to Hawaii and back, I'll have enough for a free trip on United.
It would have been cheaper to go with Suntrips, and I've booked with them before and they're not that bad. But for an extra $200, I'll earn a free trip on United within the continental United Staes. Got to use up my United Airlines miles before anything else happens with them.
I'm spending 8 days on Kauai, then I'll fly to Honolulu to visit with my brother, shop and be a tourist. I have a hankering to see the Honolulu Zoo. I haven't been there since I was a kid.
This is the first time I won't be staying in a hotel on some part of my trip home. My brother told me I could stay at his house, and I said yes. He doesn't live that far from downtown Waikiki, the bus system in Honolulu is decent for a city its size, and it's only for a few nights.
I love staying in hotels, and I think I'm going to miss that part of the trip the most.
My screenwriting teacher is spending the summer surfing on the North Shore of Oahu, and I may send her an email to see if she wants to get together.
I'm relieved to have the logistics part of my trip taken care of. I bought a ticket, reserved my rental car, and even made airport shuttle reservations.
Now I have to get ready for the emotional part of my trip. I have a feeling grandma won't live past September, and this will probably be the last time I'll see her.
It makes me happy to think that I may be returning the physical love and care that she gave me growing up.
I wasn't planning to do anything on July 4th, because I'm really too emotionally raw to be with people, but a friend just called and I may end up going with her to a bull fight.
Bull fights in California? What a trip! I'm sure the PETA people are up in the arms. Here's the schedule, California Bull Fights.
There's a bull fight on July 4th somewhere in the Central Valley. My friend has been to real ones in Spain, but I've never seen one.
This is the friend I went to West Virginia with last summer, and we were reminiscing about spending last July 4th on the golf course at The Greenbrier Resort in West Virginia, and watching the guards trying the keep the riff raff trash like us from getting close to the clubhouse.
I don't know though. I don't know if I'll be good company even for my friend, and we're playing it by ear since her boyfriend may want to go instead.
Part of me just wants to spend the holiday lying in bed and being by myself. Depression makes me tired and sleepy, and not very good company for anyone but myself.
Bull fights in California? What a trip! I'm sure the PETA people are up in the arms. Here's the schedule, California Bull Fights.
There's a bull fight on July 4th somewhere in the Central Valley. My friend has been to real ones in Spain, but I've never seen one.
This is the friend I went to West Virginia with last summer, and we were reminiscing about spending last July 4th on the golf course at The Greenbrier Resort in West Virginia, and watching the guards trying the keep the riff raff trash like us from getting close to the clubhouse.
I don't know though. I don't know if I'll be good company even for my friend, and we're playing it by ear since her boyfriend may want to go instead.
Part of me just wants to spend the holiday lying in bed and being by myself. Depression makes me tired and sleepy, and not very good company for anyone but myself.
I'm depressed. No doubt about it. I feel like I'm living in the land of limbo.
I can't make my flight reservations to fly home because I don't know if grandma is going to be in Honolulu or on Kauai. My family just doesn't know. And I feel bad for betting on my corporate and financial instincts, which says her healthplan will boot her out as soon as possible to save money.
I work in the business, that's how it goes. I even designed a report for my healthcare organization which listed which of our patients were in the hospitals. Every morning the nurses used the report to make sure that patients didn't stay in the hospitals any longer than they had to. The financial model was always shorter hospital stays, because hospital stays are the number one expense driver.
Still I can't be sure, so I have to wait and waiting is depressing. So I watch TV, and lie on my bed thinking about life. Or I iron clothes just to keep busy.
I can't write. Writing feels stupid in a life and death situation. Who the hell cares if I have anything to say or any stories to tell. Life is ending for god's sake.
Or I think how my biggest fear was I would lead an ordinary boring life, and maybe I'm living my greatest fear. A friend from Santa Barbara had a word for this kind of life, but I can't think about it right now because thinking takes too much effort.
I wonder where my Santa Barbara friend is now. I'm sure she's living in New York City somewhere with her PR business, living the kind of life I thought I wanted but gave up. But if I was living like my Santa Barbara friend, I would have been living in NYC when 9/11 happened, and that wouldn't have been fun either.
But TV is fun, and watching old taped TV shows are fun.
I watched Witchblade last night. The creators of that show did such an incredible job of tying everything in the show together. They have to, it's part of the plot. Now that's a cool writing trick, making tying everything together part of the story.
The story of the Witchblade is it's an object of power which endows the wearer with special powers. When someone wears the witchblade everything in their life becomes connected, there are no accidents, everything in life becomes a lesson for the witchblade wearer to learn.
I wish I had something in my life that connected everything together. Maybe then I would understand what is going on in my life right now.
My thoughts are rambling like my life. All over the place, all at once, randomly going from one incident to the next, with no purpose. Sorry about that.
I can't make my flight reservations to fly home because I don't know if grandma is going to be in Honolulu or on Kauai. My family just doesn't know. And I feel bad for betting on my corporate and financial instincts, which says her healthplan will boot her out as soon as possible to save money.
I work in the business, that's how it goes. I even designed a report for my healthcare organization which listed which of our patients were in the hospitals. Every morning the nurses used the report to make sure that patients didn't stay in the hospitals any longer than they had to. The financial model was always shorter hospital stays, because hospital stays are the number one expense driver.
Still I can't be sure, so I have to wait and waiting is depressing. So I watch TV, and lie on my bed thinking about life. Or I iron clothes just to keep busy.
I can't write. Writing feels stupid in a life and death situation. Who the hell cares if I have anything to say or any stories to tell. Life is ending for god's sake.
Or I think how my biggest fear was I would lead an ordinary boring life, and maybe I'm living my greatest fear. A friend from Santa Barbara had a word for this kind of life, but I can't think about it right now because thinking takes too much effort.
I wonder where my Santa Barbara friend is now. I'm sure she's living in New York City somewhere with her PR business, living the kind of life I thought I wanted but gave up. But if I was living like my Santa Barbara friend, I would have been living in NYC when 9/11 happened, and that wouldn't have been fun either.
But TV is fun, and watching old taped TV shows are fun.
I watched Witchblade last night. The creators of that show did such an incredible job of tying everything in the show together. They have to, it's part of the plot. Now that's a cool writing trick, making tying everything together part of the story.
The story of the Witchblade is it's an object of power which endows the wearer with special powers. When someone wears the witchblade everything in their life becomes connected, there are no accidents, everything in life becomes a lesson for the witchblade wearer to learn.
I wish I had something in my life that connected everything together. Maybe then I would understand what is going on in my life right now.
My thoughts are rambling like my life. All over the place, all at once, randomly going from one incident to the next, with no purpose. Sorry about that.
Monday, June 30, 2003
Does this mean you're on the verge of an emotional nervous breakdown when this song gives you crying jags?
Malibu by Hole
Crash and burn
All the stars explode tonight
How'd you get so desperate
How'd you stay alive
Help me please
Burn the sorrow from your eyes
Oh, come on be alive again
Don't lay down and die
Hey, hey
You know what to do
Oh, baby, drive away to Malibu
Get well soon
Please don't go any higher
How are you so burnt when
You're barely on fire
Cry to the angels
I'm gonna rescue you
I'm gonna set you free tonight, baby
Pour over me
Hey, hey
We're all watching you
Oh, baby, fly away to Malibu
Cry to the angels
And let them swallow you
Go and part the sea,
yeah, in Malibu
And the sun goes down
I watch you slip away
And the sun goes down
I walk into the waves
And I knew
Love would tear you apart
Oh and I knew
The darkest secret of your heart
I'm gonna follow you
Oh baby, fly away,
yeah, to Malibu
Oceans of angels
Oceans of stars
Down by the sea is where you
Drown your scars
I can't be near you
The light just radiates
I can't be near you
The light just radiates
Malibu by Hole
Crash and burn
All the stars explode tonight
How'd you get so desperate
How'd you stay alive
Help me please
Burn the sorrow from your eyes
Oh, come on be alive again
Don't lay down and die
Hey, hey
You know what to do
Oh, baby, drive away to Malibu
Get well soon
Please don't go any higher
How are you so burnt when
You're barely on fire
Cry to the angels
I'm gonna rescue you
I'm gonna set you free tonight, baby
Pour over me
Hey, hey
We're all watching you
Oh, baby, fly away to Malibu
Cry to the angels
And let them swallow you
Go and part the sea,
yeah, in Malibu
And the sun goes down
I watch you slip away
And the sun goes down
I walk into the waves
And I knew
Love would tear you apart
Oh and I knew
The darkest secret of your heart
I'm gonna follow you
Oh baby, fly away,
yeah, to Malibu
Oceans of angels
Oceans of stars
Down by the sea is where you
Drown your scars
I can't be near you
The light just radiates
I can't be near you
The light just radiates
Sunday, June 29, 2003
The cute strawberry blondie boy was in my bible class this morning, and I was so shocked and freaked out. I was thinking I should've plunked my fat arse right next to him and start up a conversation but I'm way too stressed about my grandma dying to be thinking about getting to know some guy.
At least I was dressed okay, with my thigh high silk short skirt, two inch heels and hose, and semi-fitted sweater. I would've been felt worse if I was dressed like a slob, and at least I looked good I think.
Then after class he was right there in the social hall before the service started, and I was willing myself to go over to him and say something, but I just can't deal with the stress of having to meet someone new right now.
That old bible phrase kept going through my head, "knock and it shall be opened unto, seek and you shall find, etc". I had a perfect opportunity to introduce myself to the cutest single man I've seen walk into that church in years, and I blew it because I'm stressed out.
I'm bad, I'm so bad. So what do I do instead? I start talking to the ex-catholic brother guy who attends church, and I start telling him about the bad catholic sermon I heard on Thursday.
It was a total missed opportunity on my part, and another example of how my timing is so bad when it comes to men most of the time.
My only hope is he comes to bible class next couple of Sundays, and hopefully I'll get used to him being there and I'll calm myself down enough to introduce myself.
Too bad ex-catholic brother man isn't that attractive because I really like him. He's so spiritual, and really, really smart and really, really sweet guy to boot. Who knows if he even has thoughts in that direction anyway, since he was a catholic brother for 25 years.
This is all a moot discussion for me anyway. I'm like way to stressed out to even be thinking about starting a relationship.
I know when I go see my grandmother, I think I am leaving in two weeks, that emotionally I'm going to be a mess. I'm already an emotional mess as it is, and it can only get worse because even though I know I'll still see my grandma while she's still alive, it's only a matter of time before she dies.
And when she dies, I know I'm going to turn into a basket case and need time to mourn and reassess my life, and do all the things you need to do when someone you've loved all your life dies.
The next three months are definitely going to be an emotionally trying time for me, just when I thought my life was starting to calm down a little bit. The last thing I need is to get involved with some guy right now.
At least I was dressed okay, with my thigh high silk short skirt, two inch heels and hose, and semi-fitted sweater. I would've been felt worse if I was dressed like a slob, and at least I looked good I think.
Then after class he was right there in the social hall before the service started, and I was willing myself to go over to him and say something, but I just can't deal with the stress of having to meet someone new right now.
That old bible phrase kept going through my head, "knock and it shall be opened unto, seek and you shall find, etc". I had a perfect opportunity to introduce myself to the cutest single man I've seen walk into that church in years, and I blew it because I'm stressed out.
I'm bad, I'm so bad. So what do I do instead? I start talking to the ex-catholic brother guy who attends church, and I start telling him about the bad catholic sermon I heard on Thursday.
It was a total missed opportunity on my part, and another example of how my timing is so bad when it comes to men most of the time.
My only hope is he comes to bible class next couple of Sundays, and hopefully I'll get used to him being there and I'll calm myself down enough to introduce myself.
Too bad ex-catholic brother man isn't that attractive because I really like him. He's so spiritual, and really, really smart and really, really sweet guy to boot. Who knows if he even has thoughts in that direction anyway, since he was a catholic brother for 25 years.
This is all a moot discussion for me anyway. I'm like way to stressed out to even be thinking about starting a relationship.
I know when I go see my grandmother, I think I am leaving in two weeks, that emotionally I'm going to be a mess. I'm already an emotional mess as it is, and it can only get worse because even though I know I'll still see my grandma while she's still alive, it's only a matter of time before she dies.
And when she dies, I know I'm going to turn into a basket case and need time to mourn and reassess my life, and do all the things you need to do when someone you've loved all your life dies.
The next three months are definitely going to be an emotionally trying time for me, just when I thought my life was starting to calm down a little bit. The last thing I need is to get involved with some guy right now.
Friday, June 27, 2003
Grandma Update
They took her off the respirator yesterday, and she seems to breathing fine. Angioplasty was successful, and now they just need to watch her. Still it's touch and go I guess, until the doctors say she can fly home.
I'm planning a trip home in the next month or two, depending on what happens next with her care.
After 9/11, the media reported that people were feeling the urge to merge and were merging like there was no tomorrow, I guess because that's how some people felt.
I had the opposite reaction. If things had gone from bad to worse after 9/11, I knew I would survive better on my own than with someone I barely knew.
Now with this family tragedy, I'm feeling this overwhelming urge to merge. But I've had crisis boyfriends before, and although they've provided wonderful soft landings, the question becomes what do you with them after the crisis is over.
Because after every crisis, I started to not like every crisis boyfriend I was dating. It's not like I did it on purpose, it just happened that way. Crises tends to impair my judgement in a serious way, and I'm not sure I want to go through a stress of a lapse of judgement.
They took her off the respirator yesterday, and she seems to breathing fine. Angioplasty was successful, and now they just need to watch her. Still it's touch and go I guess, until the doctors say she can fly home.
I'm planning a trip home in the next month or two, depending on what happens next with her care.
After 9/11, the media reported that people were feeling the urge to merge and were merging like there was no tomorrow, I guess because that's how some people felt.
I had the opposite reaction. If things had gone from bad to worse after 9/11, I knew I would survive better on my own than with someone I barely knew.
Now with this family tragedy, I'm feeling this overwhelming urge to merge. But I've had crisis boyfriends before, and although they've provided wonderful soft landings, the question becomes what do you with them after the crisis is over.
Because after every crisis, I started to not like every crisis boyfriend I was dating. It's not like I did it on purpose, it just happened that way. Crises tends to impair my judgement in a serious way, and I'm not sure I want to go through a stress of a lapse of judgement.
I just saw the movie "2 Fast 2 Furious", and I totally loved it. I think I'm going to have get both "The Fast and the Furious" and it sequel "2 Fast 2 Furious" on DVD.
They're probably the kind of movies I should be embarrassed to own, but I love them like I love the movies "Predator 1 & 2". I don't know why, and I don't really care either.
"2 Fast 2 Furious" definitely makes it to my top chick flick list, along with "Black Hawk Down". "Top Gun", "Matrix", "Matrix Reloaded", "The Fast and the Furious", "The Crow", "Triple X", and both "Lords of the Rings" movies.
Wow, the blondie boy was so cute, and Tyrese had this unbelievable body. And all those great racing scenes, car chases, and car crashes, and a killer soundtrack with bump and grind rhythm and groove. What's a girl not to love?
They're probably the kind of movies I should be embarrassed to own, but I love them like I love the movies "Predator 1 & 2". I don't know why, and I don't really care either.
"2 Fast 2 Furious" definitely makes it to my top chick flick list, along with "Black Hawk Down". "Top Gun", "Matrix", "Matrix Reloaded", "The Fast and the Furious", "The Crow", "Triple X", and both "Lords of the Rings" movies.
Wow, the blondie boy was so cute, and Tyrese had this unbelievable body. And all those great racing scenes, car chases, and car crashes, and a killer soundtrack with bump and grind rhythm and groove. What's a girl not to love?
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