I've been watching movies these last two days. 61* and Wonderboys.

61* was financed by HBO films and probably shown on HBO because it wasn't rated. I liked this movie. I only rented it because someone in my screenwriting class said it would be a good movie to watch as research for my screenplay. I found the characters very engaging and since it's a true story, very engrossing. The guy they got to play Mickey Mantle was very cute, which is an added bonus for any movie I'm watching. But honestly, I really liked the movie.

A great sports movie and still pretty current considering it was supposed to take place in 1961. There was Mickey Mantle, a Hollywood gorgeous bad boy, drinking and whoring around who came from a pool family in Oklahoma. A seeming victim of too much fame too soon since he joined the Yankees as an 18 year old and didn't even go to college. There was Roger Maris, the stoic family man who just wanted to play baseball and didn't know how to handle the press. If you get anything at all from this movie, and there's alot to get, it's if you become famous you had better learn about media/press management. There's the media who hyped both players either up or down, depending on how much either player sucked up to them. After watching this movie, I am convinced more than ever that you can't believe anything you read in the media.

Listening to Jim Rome show again and they're playing the Mark Madsen tape about him thanking his LA supporters in spanish. I've listened to this tape so many times. I think I like it as much as the Jim Mora meltdown after a football game he coached.

Anyway, then there are the owners, who wanted the players to do anything to get the fans to come to the stadium. And you wonder why we have a steroid controversy in major league baseball right now.

61* goes to show you that real life is always so much better than fiction.

Then I watched The Wonderboys, which reviwers really liked in 2000 when it came out. It's also one of the Marina hottie boy's favorite movies, you know, the marina hottie boy I used to have a crush on. I've been meaning to watch this movie, and Marina hottie's comment, made me rent it. I don't know. Maybe because I watched it late at night, but honestly the movie made me sleepy. It was so slow moving. Some of it was really funny, I'll grant you that, but those funny moments seemed far and few between. And then the ending just got so stupid.

Michael Douglas' character reminded me of too many guys I've dated. Middle aged, stoned, angst ridden, white male, bitter and drifting through life, wondering what went wrong when in their youth they were superstars. BORING!!! And probably boring, because I've dated these types before. Hell, the ex husband could have stood in for Michael Douglas' character and I've owned a pair of red cowboy boots since I was 22 years old.

I read the NY Times review of the movie and I agreed with them. It's a great movie idea but somehow it's a dud when watching it. The NY Times reviewer said that the screenwriter, who adapted the movie from Michael Chabon's novel of the same name, lifted dialogue right out of the book. And you could tell too. That part where Michael Douglas and Tobey Maguire are talking are so boring, so stilted, and not how real people talk at all.

I guess I could see how the reviewers liked it, because you hardly see this kind of subject matter made, but still. I don't know. Maybe it's because I watched Wonderboys the night after I watched 61* and the reality of 61* just seemed more real than the fiction of Wonderboys.

61* was so much more engaging about men and how they view and handle life. Wonderboys had too many made up plot devices like the dog dying, Tobey stealing the Marilyn Monroe jacket, etc. to make this movie very believable. I think Wonderboys was supposed to show the poignancy of a middle aged man, who needs to be rescued by some straight talking same age female. Michael Douglas' character came across as such a loser to me. He was a whining baby boomer, probably draft dodging male, who was wallowing in his own self pity.

The LA Times, sometime in the 1980's, had a article about the psychology of men who avoided the draft and went to college instead. The article said that these men suffered from middle class guilt about not going to war and had problems with commitment and avoided conflict and choice at all costs. Michael Douglas' character reminded me of this article.

What's probably true about Wonderboys is that there are many men in that baby boomer generation walking around like him. Like maybe some of the reviwers who liked this movie? Interesting theory huh?

God, do I really want to watch another movie about a seemingly privileged man freaking out about his life, which has all been a result of his bad choices? Rush Limbaugh would call Wonderboys, I think, the Oprahization of male movies. I mean, all the Oprah books were about women who made really bad choices in their life for obviously no good reason, at least the books never gave you really good reasons for why they liked fucked up their life. And Wonderboys is like an Oprah book, only it's a man and not a woman. But where Oprah books don't get a lot of respect, Wonderboys is considered a good movie. What gives?

Maybe I need to write the book, which reviewers said, is a tired old plot rescued by being very well written. Maybe not. I can't forgive a well written book if the plot is stupid. For most people, I know, it's the opposite. They won't put up with a badly written book even if the plot is good. I will.

As a writer of fiction, I am dishearted by what I'm discovering. Real life is so much better, so much more entertaining than a fiction book any day.

I went to the dentist today and I told my dentist that Paul, my ex-b who also goes to see him died. My dentist was so shocked because Paul had an appointment with him on Saturday and never showed up.

So strange to tell my dentist that one of his patients died. My dentist then told me one one of his other patients had a urinary tract infection and then died two days later. The girl was only 18 years old.

I guess you never know when your time is up. Then my dentist told me his sister died from lung cancer and she didn't even smoke.

Missed the whole eclipse thing because of my dentist, but I'll watch it on the news. I think I'm finally out of the Mercury Retrograde. YEAH!!! I can already feel it. I went to Macy's and bought one of those trendy tuquoise bracelets to celebrate. I love wearing oh so hip and up to the minute trendy pieces of cheap jewelry.

Other than my horoscopes freaking me out because it says some friendship with some guy is going to turn serious, which freaks me out because if it's who I'm thinking of, I'm like no way, the guy is way to freaky and creepy, even for me, I'm feeling good. Horoscopes are never right anyway, most of the time, except for stuff like the mercury retrograde. I wouldn't even consider this guy a friend since I've only know him a few months.

All the horoscope said was this:

There comes a point in any relationship when you realise that it has gone beyond mere friendship and become something else. If you are free to take it further, then this is an exciting moment; if you are not, then you have problems, because once this point is reached neither of you can simply walk away. The glue that stuck you together has dried, and it is impossible to pull the pieces apart without damaging them. This week's eclipse marks exactly this point for you; from now on whatever you are involved in will have important consequences, and you will be well aware of that. It's not a bad thing, by any means; but it's not a game any more, either.

God, how scary! That's why I almost hate befriending guys until I know that there's no danger of the friendship turning into something other than friendship. I am so sick and tired of losing male friends because they end up having a crush on me. It totally ruins the friendship and then they get all weird and can't talk to me because they want a physical relationship with me. And I just honestly want a friend and nothing more.

I hope the horoscope is wrong. If this guy is the one, then I'm totally fighting it every step of the way. The guy is nice and a good friend and all, but so not boyfriend material. He creeps me out for some reason and I don't even know why. He's weirder about food than I am, and I'm pretty weird about food. And I really only want this guy as a friend and nothing more. You know, it's always the ones you like whom you can't have and can't get and it's always the ones, that creep and freak you out, that you end up dating. What is up with that!

I went to watch the basketball boys again. It's funny how there's always one white guy who plays. Some guy asked me to play one on one again and this time I said, I was wearing sandals and couldn't play.

I'm thinking to solve the problem, I should take the locker room scenes out, but I think they're integral to showing the the state of my baseball guy's self esteem. I can also showcase his attitude and hot temper in a locker room fight with his team mates.

I rented the movie 61*, Billy Crystal's movie about Roger Merris' record. I bet this movie will have locker room scenes. The only other thing to do now is to spend all summer renting movies about guys playing on sports teams and studying their locker room scenes. What a drag! The locker room scenes are probably the weakest part of my movie, but since they open and close the movie, they have to be stronger.

Oh well, I guess I'll have all summer to work on baseball locker room scenes.

It's funny how you think you've found a solution to your problem and then it turns out the solution doesn't work at all.

I bought my baby laptop thinking it would be great to be outside in a park on a sunny day and write. Or, write at a table outside of a cafe. Write outside anywhere. So today, since I had o go to my optometrist at the Embarcadero and pick an eyeglass case up, I decided to try and write while having lunch at those tables right in front of Justin Herman plaza.

I go, I buy some lunch at the japanese place that's right there and I grab myself a table and eat. Then I open up my laptop and low and behold, I can't see a damned thing because the sun is too bright. I tried to adjust my screen and I still couldn't see anything. I play around with the contrast for 10 minutes and finally I can see the screen, sort of. It's still very dark and I can barely see it.

I try to edit a story and but then I just completely gave up. What a joke! I buy the damned thing to write outside then when I finally write outside, I can't see the stupid screen. There's got to be a better way to do this! So much for my dream of writing outside in parks. I guess if I do this again, I will have have to sit in the shade, but the who the hell wants to sit in the shade when it's sunny outside. I am pissed and bummed! There's got to be solution to the glaring sun problem; I just don't know what it is yet.

In frustration I leave to do some research on how real men really talk. Someone in my screenwriting group suggested I go and check out the basketball games in the panhandle, so I can hear how "real jocks" talk and try to write it in my baseball screenplay. I'm like whatever, but I decide to give it a try anyway.

I get the court and sit down and watch these guys play basketball for an hour. I'm not sure what they all thought with me sitting there watching them. It was loud and I couldn't really hear what anyone was saying other than alot of fmbombs words and alot shot shit words said like it had two syllables. The basketball kept coming my way, which was kind of annoying, but other than that, I didn't hear anything really new about the way guys talk.

It's not like I don't know how guys talk, I do. I just didn't have the guys in my screenplay swear alot and some of my reviewers found that very unrealistic. My male reviewers anyway. I think I'll have to rent some videos to see how other screenwriters have handled it.

They didn't swear at all in the movie The Rookie. I mean I'm sure some guys swear but not all. In fact, I thought the guys at the basketball hardly swore at all. Maybe it was because I was there or maybe guys just don't swear that much, especially the young ones, because it was mostly young guys there, I don't know.

It was an interesting scene to watch. The guys reminded me of little kids at a playground and how you have to all get along. Then watching the guys, I also was reminded of physical a game basketball is, especially on defense. Some of the kids had great moves and they all do a good job of coaching each other and calling fouls. Actually, the funniest part was watching them argue over travelling, double dribbling, fouls and who was out and not out of bounds.

I think I might go again tomorrow and maybe sit in a different spot. I couldn't really hear well where I was sitting. If the guys were arguing and talking, it was on the side of where I was sitting.

Guys are funny though. As I was getting up to leave, one of them asked me if I played and I said no. I lied to him because actually I do play, but it's been years since I've played. And besides, I was wearing sandals anyway and couldn't play. I guess dummy guy didn't see that. I would only play basketball with someone I was dating anyway or wanting to date, because it really is such a physical game and I'd be rubbing up against the guy constantly, which would be fun if I really liked the guy I was playing with, but not so fun with a total stranger.