I wonder if publishing my stories or selling a screenplay will feel or making any kind of money from my writing will feel as good as my corporate sucesses, four of which are listed below. And all of this achieved in a short 8 years of full time employment. I can't imagine what other successes I would have had if only I had started working fulltime earlier in my life.

1. 1992 - 1996 - my job at the insurance company where I got a 15% plus raise every year and a promotion, not to mention year end bonuses, stock options, cash awards, etc. Not bad for my second full time job.

2. 1997 - interviewed at a startup in a company located in Silicon Valley North and was offered a signing bonus in cash to join the company. God, I felt like a professional athlete when this happened. How cool is that when a company offers you cash on top of your salary to sign up with them.

3. Dec 1998 - interviewed at a transportation company in SF and at the end of the interview, my future boss says "name my price for my salary". Shocking! It's the kind of thing you dream of and when it happened I freaked and then low self esteem and integrity kicked and I lowballed myself. Next time I'll know better. Still, it was worth it just to hear that statement. Plus I had a corner cube with a view of downtown SF, Pac Bell Park and my own conference table with chairs.

4. fall 2000 - at my current job, I finally have every corporate drone's dream, my own office with a view of a stream and trees. There is nothing like having your own office and being able to shut the door so you can have private phone calls, play your tunes and listen to the radio.

More thoughts on a "Paul Haunting". What is it with men with brown hair and vivid blue eyes? Every time I get to know one, I end up falling in love and sometimes even dating them and once I even married one. Here's the list.

1. The english priest who presided over my first communion. He used to come over to my house and lift me up in the air and walk around. I'm sure the catholic scandalists would have something to says about him.
2. The bisexual priest in high school who had a crush on me. Man, could that guy dance. Sadly though, he died of AIDS a long time ago. He always leaving the priesthood and coming back. I wonder what the catholic church scandalists would think about him?
3. My first love, my freshman year in college. What can I say about him? I thought he was the start of my brown haired/blue eyed men obsession, but he's number 3 on the list. He taught me about classical music and Bootsy Collins and the Ah Shit chorus and how to recognize a great bass line. Every time I hear a song by The Cure I think of him.
4. My poet/writer college boyfriend who went to Country Day School for Boys in St. Louis. I think this guy became a playwright. I still have the poem he wrote for me. I've been meaning to frame it.
5. My exhusband. Still think he's cute after all these years. Surprising, we're still still friends. The guy would take me back in a second if I asked.
6. The man I saw in the Aka Joe outlet near Jackson street. I think he was the soulmate but I was married at the time, so I freaked out and ran. I think I freak out and run from alot of men I find incredibly attractive. Nerdy, aren't I?
7. Paul, exboyfriend who died this year.
8. "I think I've found my Krishna" Screenwriting hottie boy. What can I say ... he's a jock, he does yoga, he looks like Charlie Sheen, he's absolutely beautiful and to die for, every girl in class had a crush on him, and he's read the Bhagavad Gita. How could I not fall in love with someone like him? Too bad I ran from him too, but we're sort of still friends I think.

Another group for the Paul Haunting list - Dada. They had that one hit Diz Knee Land. The whole album was actually quite good.

10 at 10 from 1982, heard last night on KFOG during my workout.

1. Bill Nelson - Flaming Desire
2. Flock of Seagulls - I Ran
3. Alan Parsons Project - Psychobabble
4. Jon Anderson - All in a Matter of Time
5. XTC - Senses Working Overtime
6. Marvin Gaye - Sexual Healing
7. Huey Lewis & the News - Workin' For a Livin'
8. Men at Work - Overkill
9. English Beat - Save it for Later
10. Split Enz - Six Months in a Leaky Boat

So many memories from that year. I forgot how much I loved the song "Senses Working Overtime". I'll have to figure out how to get it. I haven't heard Psychobabble since I was with Paul, my dead exboyfriend. Every time I hear a song I associate with him, I feel like I'm getting a "Paul haunting". Groups associated with Paul: Pink Floyd, Jesus Jones, Guns N Roses, 4 Non Blondes, Joe Walsh, The Grateful Dead, and the Wish album by The Cure. Other groups too but I can't remember them all. Only know I'm having a "Paul haunting" when I hear the song. I think I owned A Flock of Seaguls album. Whenever I hear "I Ran", I think of that summer I spent in San Diego being a nanny to my two nephews. I poddy trained my nephew Brandon and he grew up to be such a sweet young man. I still love The English Beat and wished they were still making hits. You can't find a good ska band or record anywhere. I heard a good ska band once at Miss Pearl's Jam House years ago. My girlfriend and I stood on our chairs and danced and nobody said anything. I guess pretty girls dancing on chairs at a nightclub is always tolerated, no matter how dangerous or how wasted the girls are. The bartender guys just stared at us and smiled as did every other man in the place. I guess we were quite a sight. Dare I admit I used to love Men at Work? My two friends from Australia, Maree who ran her own day care center and Cathy who worked for the government, hated them. They never understood what my attraction to that group was. Maybe it was the singer's voice. I never much cared for Huey Lewis and the News but they did make okay music if you're in that kind of mood. I don't remember who Bill Nelson or Jon Anderson were? I didn't listen to anything except new wave and techno pop and disco. But of course, I totally remembered that Marvin Gaye song. I think I even had sex to that song once. Whatever happend to Split Enz?