Last night in bible studies class, we learned how to do an exegsis on Matthew 9:27-31 - The Healing of the Two Blind Men. What a ton of work! The new pastor says our church has one of the best pastor's library that he's ever seen, and it's open to the whole congregation.

And now I have homework. I think I'm going to be spending all day Saturday in the public library, reading bible commentaries on this passage.

Write 4 or 5 things you realized about this passage.
One sentence what it says about JC.
One sentence how the passage applies to your life or how would your preach on this passage.

I didn't have much time to do anything else last night, as I wanted to watch "The Tailor of Panama" before it was due back. Strange movie! Great acting by Geoffrey Rush. The movie is based on a novel by John Le Carre, and I think I'd like to read the novel because the movie ended so strangely. I had so many unanswered questions about the plot. It was a great story though and very interesting.

After the movie, my mood became very melancholy. The tailor character in the movie said that people make up stories and end up believing them, because it makes them feel better about their wretched lives. I wondered if in some way, I was like the The Tailor of Panama. It's not that my life is that wretched either, but I wonder if I sometimes make up stories about my life and fool myself into believing them. I don't know. You can either have a positive or negative spin about your life.

As a practical person, I've always thought that it was impractical to spin a negative story about yourself. I mean, what's the point? You'd end up in therapy and depressed for the rest of your life. It was far more practical to spin the most positive story you can about your life, and in this way you can be happy and productive no matter what your life circumstances. I guess I got melancholy because I started to question the wisdom of the positive spin on life. Is it realistic? Isn't it better to look reality squarely in the face and get on with life? Why even put any kind of spin on your life? Or can you never get away from forming a judgment about your life? Maybe to spin is part of being a human being?

To spin or not to spin, is that the question?

Blogspot is slow again. I can't read anyone's blog. Not sure what is going on, other than there was a blogspot server maintenance on Monday. They've been slow since they started offering more space if you pay. Maybe the paid blogs have priority on the server.

I wish I knew what was wrong!

It's true, I am anal. I've calculated that if my blog limit is 100 kb month, I can post about 3,200 kb a day. The post below was worth about 1,600 or 2% of my limit. I will now have to check regularly to make sure I don't go over limit.

Musical selection tonight: Miles Davis 4 cd box set - Blue Note and Capitol Recordings

I was thinking of the screenwriting cutie, whom I had crush on earlier this year, again. He was a big jazz fan.

I heard Gun~n~Roses' version of "Knocking on Heaven's Door" on the way home today, and thinking being in crush with the screenwriting hottie was kind of like knocking on heaven's door in a odd sort of way. Not that screenwriting hottie boy was the most perfect match for me, but he reminded me that my idea of heaven on earth is being married to my soul partner, whoever he may be.

I had a good night last night. I started a new fictional short story tentatively titled "Spooning with My Mother". This story will be about a divorced mother with a 13 year old daugher, who spooned with her own mother at that age. Some of my friends from divorced families have gone through this experience with their mom, and it has always fascinated and at the same time repulsed me. I've never spooned with my mom, and I can't imagine ever doing so either. That sounds bad I know, because all human beings need comfort I guess, but it just sounds so odd to me. My family is also not demonstrative physically, so my mother hugging me is a strange thing. I guess one day I'll write a story about finding it strange to be hugged by your own mom. It's not like my mom never hugged me, because she did when I was little, but when I entered school all that physical type of affection stopped.

I wrote 1,100 words of my story, which is so cool. I'd like to write 1,000 words a day, so last night was definitely a good beginning.

Then I worked out for 40 minutes or the equivalent of about two miles, something I stopped doing for about three weeks. I'm starting again only because it helps me to sleep at night if I work out before I go to bed, and I kind of missed doing it. I walk four miles a day, you'd think that would be enough to tucker me out, but obviously not.

Then I started on my new book, "Things Fall Apart" by Chinua Achebe.

I'm also gave myself half an hour of spiritual/religious time, where I pray or meditate or read spiritual/religious type books. It's a practice I got into when I was 23, and it really helps me to stay calm and be in a good mood. I used to be regular with this habit for years, then I got out of it, and now I do it off and on. I'd like to get back into doing it every night. It seems a good habit to start up again in these uncertain times.

And then I went to bed, and that's my way too boring life.