I just received feedback from my screenwriting teacher. She said my outline was "good", and suggested a few changes.
She didn't like the beginning, which is fine. I could cut three scenes from the beginning, and start where she suggested. Then I'd have three extra scenes to fill in, which I can do since the screenplay as it is now is really tight. I had a question for her about my first two opening scenes, which I'd like to keep. My only other question was if I cut those three scenes at the beginning, then two scenes which I put in at the end to wrap up what happened in the beginning are no longer necessary. At least, that's what my gut instinct is telling me. I have a thing about wrapping all the story lines up. Many writers don't do this, and some writers feel that you shouldn't neatly wrap up all the loose ends in a story because then your story becomes too neat and organized. But too bad. I like my story lines wrapped up. Besides, I think I can wrap a story line up and still make the ending of the story line ambiguous and not neat, so it's not too contrived.
Five new scenes to add in. Interesting. My screenwriting teacher also said that "every man needs a cave", and that my main character should have one. He sort of already does, but it's not straightforward. I could use the extra scenes to give my main guy more time in his cave.
I was dreading my screenwriting teacher's feedback, but it wasn't too bad. Of course, this is the time when a writer realizes that certain things about their work are sacred and can't be touched. I think I'm attached to my opening two scenes. I've managed to let go of having a voice over in the beginning, which I totally love in a movie. My screenwriting teacher convinced me that my voiceover wasn't justified. And now my opening scenes with the baseball team must go too. My screenwriting teacher said from the very beginning, back in February, that she thought the baseball team scenes were unnecessary, and now they're almost all gone. Sad!
But perhaps she's right. Baseball is just the background to the story, and it really doesn't have to be shown. But gosh darn it!!! I loved my baseball team scenes! A friend at one of my jobs convinced me of the wisdom of picking your battles wisely, and that not every battle has to be fought. Maybe I need to heed my work friend's wisdom now. At least now, I don't have to worry about getting permission from the owners of Pac Bell park to use their baseball stadium and facilities in my story. I can just say "Outside of the baseball park", and not say it's Pac Bell park. Using famous places is such a hassle. You first have to get permssion to the use the place in your story, and then if your movie does get sold, the cost of filming at the famous play has to be added to the movie budget. And what's worse, the famous place people might not even give you permission to mention their location in your story or let a movie be filmed there. It's so not worth the bother really.
By taking the baseball scenes completely out, I also won't get the severe scrutiny from the die hard baseball fan community either. Those people are so persnickety about getting the baseball stuff right.
Still, I hate losing my baseball team scenes. Never mind that they weren't very accurate, they were sort of my favorites. Sigh!
Friday, October 11, 2002
Writing feels like I'm being crucified somehow. It's incredibly lonely and painful to bare your soul on paper, and I have constant thoughts which go something like "Oh god, why have you forsaken me? Why can't I just be like everyone else, and watch TV and have no inclination to express my creativing in such a revealing way. God, why did you abandon me? You know I'm a sissy, a wuss, and I hate pain and I hate being criticized. You know my ego is more fragile than glass sliver." Then I start wondering if an experience I had in my childhood is to blame for these feelings. Let me explain.
When I was 12 and going through that hormonal raging period, my aunt and uncle and their family had moved into our house. My uncle had just finished his residency to be a doctor, and they needed a place to live until he could pass the state medical bar exam and get a job. My uncle is a deeply religious catholic, and he went to mass constantly. I started going with him and my cousins, and became for a brief time like a born again catholic.
We went to Novena mass on Wednesday, some other service on Friday and of course church on Sunday. I even sang in my catholic church choir that year. When Easter came around that year, we went to Stations of the Cross mass and I became really caught up in the whole thing, so caught up that I used sob uncontrollably during the whole mass. I remember getting this idea in my silly 12 year old head that to really one with Jesus Christ, I needed a sign. So catholic huh, to want a sign. I remember going to the library, and looking up catholic signs and miracles. In this one book, I read about people who received stigmata in their hands and/or feet. Since it was easter, I decided that I wanted a stigmata to appear in my hands or feet so I could experience crucifixion with Jesus. Then I could go into the nunnery and be a bride of christ forever. Don't all young catholic girls fantasize about being chosen to be a nun, a bride of christ, a servant of the lord, pure, chaste and celibate for the rest of your life?
I remember praying every night and at each mass I went to, for god to give me stigmata. I remember wantng to really know what it was like to be crucified like Jesus. Of course, I never got my stigmata and well, then I discovered boys. It then occurred to me that maybe being a nun wasn't such a good idea. I was supremely disappointed I wasn't chosen to be a bride of christ and have stigmata, but then maybe feeling the pain of crucifixion wouldn't have been such a good idea either.
Is God now granting my wish and making me feel the pain of crucifixion in my writing? Had I known at age 12 it was going to be this painful, I wouldn't have prayed for it Does this mean be careful of what you might wish for, because you might get it some time before you die? What a scary thought!
When I was 12 and going through that hormonal raging period, my aunt and uncle and their family had moved into our house. My uncle had just finished his residency to be a doctor, and they needed a place to live until he could pass the state medical bar exam and get a job. My uncle is a deeply religious catholic, and he went to mass constantly. I started going with him and my cousins, and became for a brief time like a born again catholic.
We went to Novena mass on Wednesday, some other service on Friday and of course church on Sunday. I even sang in my catholic church choir that year. When Easter came around that year, we went to Stations of the Cross mass and I became really caught up in the whole thing, so caught up that I used sob uncontrollably during the whole mass. I remember getting this idea in my silly 12 year old head that to really one with Jesus Christ, I needed a sign. So catholic huh, to want a sign. I remember going to the library, and looking up catholic signs and miracles. In this one book, I read about people who received stigmata in their hands and/or feet. Since it was easter, I decided that I wanted a stigmata to appear in my hands or feet so I could experience crucifixion with Jesus. Then I could go into the nunnery and be a bride of christ forever. Don't all young catholic girls fantasize about being chosen to be a nun, a bride of christ, a servant of the lord, pure, chaste and celibate for the rest of your life?
I remember praying every night and at each mass I went to, for god to give me stigmata. I remember wantng to really know what it was like to be crucified like Jesus. Of course, I never got my stigmata and well, then I discovered boys. It then occurred to me that maybe being a nun wasn't such a good idea. I was supremely disappointed I wasn't chosen to be a bride of christ and have stigmata, but then maybe feeling the pain of crucifixion wouldn't have been such a good idea either.
Is God now granting my wish and making me feel the pain of crucifixion in my writing? Had I known at age 12 it was going to be this painful, I wouldn't have prayed for it Does this mean be careful of what you might wish for, because you might get it some time before you die? What a scary thought!
I finished my screenplay outline and sent it to my screenwriting teacher today. I'm not sure if I'm happy with it, but at least it's done. What a labour of love writing is!!!
This has definitely been a hard week for me. I've been feeling very alone and isolated all week, except for yesterday when I went to see my optometrist for my annual eye exam. We started talking about the war on Iraq, and he compared it to Vietnam. He then told me he was a Vietnam war veteran, so we talked about his experiences for awhile. He enlisted early in 1965, and he said in 1965 there were less than 50,000 soldiers there, and that number grew in a few months to half a million. I had no idea. We started talking about boot camp, and I asked him if it was like that Stanley Kubrick movie "Full Metal Jacket". He said it was worse, and he was like the fat guy in the movie and was endlessly tortured by the other recruits. He dropped 25 pounds in 10 weeks, and at the end he stopped being afraid of getting into a fight. He said in boot camp, the recruits only get bullits when they go to the shooting range, so that part of Kubrick movie was probably unrealistic. He said the military knows better than to give recruits bullits, because if they did, the recruits would shoot the instructors.
It was nice of my optometrist to share a part of his life with me like that. I like when people open up and tell me their life story.
I think I may have been feeling so isolated, because I've been focused on getting my screenplay outline written. Writing is such a concentrated activity. It drains all my energy sometimes. I felt so isolated in bible class, which was strange, but I think I was so preoccupied with my screenplay that it was hard for me to relate to people in class.
I'm thinking of going out with friends tomorrow to see the author of "Trainspotting" read in some pub. I know I need to get out and socialize for a bit, before I start getting caught up in writing my screenplay. Tomorrow, I'm going to a Tibetan Energy Yoga class, which should be fun. I learned some tibetan yoga techniques in a seminar I took in May, and it's a different way of doing yoga than the normal indian style of yoga. Tibetan yoga is more like Tai Chi, in that it's very slow, deliberate and concentrated.
On Sunday, I'll start writing my screenplay. I'm kind of excitd about starting, and at the same time, I'm dreading it. It's that writer's fear coming up, I guess, big time, way big time.
This has definitely been a hard week for me. I've been feeling very alone and isolated all week, except for yesterday when I went to see my optometrist for my annual eye exam. We started talking about the war on Iraq, and he compared it to Vietnam. He then told me he was a Vietnam war veteran, so we talked about his experiences for awhile. He enlisted early in 1965, and he said in 1965 there were less than 50,000 soldiers there, and that number grew in a few months to half a million. I had no idea. We started talking about boot camp, and I asked him if it was like that Stanley Kubrick movie "Full Metal Jacket". He said it was worse, and he was like the fat guy in the movie and was endlessly tortured by the other recruits. He dropped 25 pounds in 10 weeks, and at the end he stopped being afraid of getting into a fight. He said in boot camp, the recruits only get bullits when they go to the shooting range, so that part of Kubrick movie was probably unrealistic. He said the military knows better than to give recruits bullits, because if they did, the recruits would shoot the instructors.
It was nice of my optometrist to share a part of his life with me like that. I like when people open up and tell me their life story.
I think I may have been feeling so isolated, because I've been focused on getting my screenplay outline written. Writing is such a concentrated activity. It drains all my energy sometimes. I felt so isolated in bible class, which was strange, but I think I was so preoccupied with my screenplay that it was hard for me to relate to people in class.
I'm thinking of going out with friends tomorrow to see the author of "Trainspotting" read in some pub. I know I need to get out and socialize for a bit, before I start getting caught up in writing my screenplay. Tomorrow, I'm going to a Tibetan Energy Yoga class, which should be fun. I learned some tibetan yoga techniques in a seminar I took in May, and it's a different way of doing yoga than the normal indian style of yoga. Tibetan yoga is more like Tai Chi, in that it's very slow, deliberate and concentrated.
On Sunday, I'll start writing my screenplay. I'm kind of excitd about starting, and at the same time, I'm dreading it. It's that writer's fear coming up, I guess, big time, way big time.
Thursday, October 10, 2002
I am so lazy and bad. I'm supposed to be working on my outline for my screenplay, so I can send it to my screenwriting teacher tomorrow for approval. I can't write my screenplay till she approves the revised outline. And I'm just stalling.
I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't enter this contest. I'll never finish the thing in time to send on October 31. I'm thinking I'm so not ready for anyone, let alone a panel of judges, to see my screenplay yet. I'm like, I don't have to write so other people can read my stories. I can just write for my own personal pleasure, and to hell with everyone else. I'm like, I'm stalling because working on the second draft is going to be so much harder than the inspirational first draft, and I'm so no ready to work that hard on my writing yet. I'm like, what if I fail at writing too, then what? What the hell else am I going to do to torture and amuse myself?
I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't enter this contest. I'll never finish the thing in time to send on October 31. I'm thinking I'm so not ready for anyone, let alone a panel of judges, to see my screenplay yet. I'm like, I don't have to write so other people can read my stories. I can just write for my own personal pleasure, and to hell with everyone else. I'm like, I'm stalling because working on the second draft is going to be so much harder than the inspirational first draft, and I'm so no ready to work that hard on my writing yet. I'm like, what if I fail at writing too, then what? What the hell else am I going to do to torture and amuse myself?
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)