I've been meditating every day for an hour this week, and have had the most incredible experiences which have been enhanced by these new supplements I've been taking. David Hudson discovered something called monotomic gold, and my new writing friend S from work loves it and recommended I take some.

The company is called Harmonic Innerprize and they make these amazing products. Their orignal product, Chamae Rose, is made from a plant that grows in this white soil which was created by a meteor that landed on earth 11,000 years ago. From the white soil, they came up with Etherium Gold, Etherium Black, Etherium Red, Etherium Pink, and Shamir. They also have another product called Aulterra.

I had the most powerful experience with Alterra. Lab studies have shown:
1. Aulterra increases the utilization and effectiveness to the body of any substance; including pharmaceuticals, nutriceuticals and herbs, and foodstuff by 30% to 60%.
2. Aulterra activates DNA. When DNA is oscillating at optimal efficiency it opens the potential for a constant state of health.
3. Aulterra neutralizes the harmful effects of toxic substances, including toxins in the body. This is accomplished through electromagnetic dynamics that reverses the negative spin of any toxic substance to positive.

The first night I took Aulterra I felt all these negative vibrations leave my body. The formulation seemed to draw all my sadness away from me, sadness I didn't know I had. Etherium black if taken during a meditation makes you go really, really deep. I'm not sure what the effects of the other formulations are yet.

Etherium gold makes me feel balanced. Here's what the website says:

Etherium Gold has an electromagnetic pattern similar, if not identical to the same pattern that energy flows when it is transmuted into matter.

Physicists believe when energy forms matter, it begins by moving in a clockwise motion. As its speed increases, a vortex begins to form. Centrifugal force causes the energy to rise and the circumference of the spin becomes tighter and tighter. The energy in the vortex eventually reaches an apex where it cannot go any further and it implodes within itself. From the implosion, another vortex is formed and it moves counterclockwise and as it descends it slows. Eventually it slows to a point where matter forms. At first single atomic (monatomic) states appear, and eventually more complex atomic states.

Biofeedback research indicates that individuals become more balanced and calm after administration of Etherium Gold. Test shows a clear decrease in emotional reactivity and greater relaxation.

The most obvious and consistent results occurred in the EEG measurements after taking Etherium Gold. In 90% of the volunteers brainwave frequencies tended to balance out and all frequency bands showed greater activation.

We could casually say that people with high theta activity (as compared to beta) are considered to be "right brained," (creative, meditative, artistic, spatially oriented). People with high beta activity (as compared to theta) are considered to be "left brained," (logical, mathematically inclined, linearly oriented). Etherium Gold balances the differences in the strength of these frequency ranges between the right and left hemispheres of the brain. It is therefore a very accurate statement to say that Etherium Gold tends toward helping people become more "whole brained."

In conclusion, this preliminary study shows clear evidence that there is a positive neurological impact, at least temporarily, through the administration of Etherium Gold. The indication is that it somehow provides an environment whereby the brain moves toward a state of homeostasis.

I did my usual Brenda thing and started taking all the supplements at once and got so spacey. S from work said I looked so out of it. She said she saw that my etheric body wasn't attached to my physical body. I was irritated and my synapses weren't firing right, and I was waking up every two hours and having the wildest dreams.

S said it was too dangerous for me and made me promise to take a break. So I stopped taking the stuff, and ate a ton of protein to ground me to the earth and back into my body. I was better within a couple of days and now try to take only a couple of formulations a day.

I miss my wild dreams though. The supplements were stirring up stuff in my subconscious and I really missed my mom and grandma during this time. It made me feel like Iwas holding all this sadness inside of me that now needed to be released.

I had the weirdest dream about ex-husband. I dreamt he was in my apartment and had unloaded all these bags and boxes into my living room. I think the dream was about how much emotional baggage I was still carrying from that relationship. In the dream, my ex-hubbie asked me if I wanted my baggage back and I said NO WAY. In the next part of the dream, the bags and boxes were gone from my place. Weird huh?

My first bible reading wasn’t too bad. In this other new thing I’m doing to put more structure in my life, part of the daily-to-do is to reflect upon the word of God. This is the passage that really spoke to me.

The Fiery Cloud
Numbers 8 (NLT) :
15The Tabernacle was set up, and on that day the cloud covered it.[f] Then from evening until morning the cloud over the Tabernacle appeared to be a pillar of fire. 16This was the regular pattern--at night the cloud changed to the appearance of fire. 17When the cloud lifted from over the sacred tent, the people of Israel followed it. And wherever the cloud settled, the people of Israel camped. 18In this way, they traveled at the LORD's command and stopped wherever he told them to. Then they remained where they were as long as the cloud stayed over the Tabernacle. 19If the cloud remained over the Tabernacle for a long time, the Israelites stayed for a long time, just as the LORD commanded. 20Sometimes the cloud would stay over the Tabernacle for only a few days, so the people would stay for only a few days. Then at the LORD's command they would break camp. 21Sometimes the cloud stayed only overnight and moved on the next morning. But day or night, when the cloud lifted, the people broke camp and followed. 22Whether the cloud stayed above the Tabernacle for two days, a month, or a year, the people of Israel stayed in camp and did not move on. But as soon as it lifted, they broke camp and moved on. 23So they camped or traveled at the LORD's command, and they did whatever the LORD told them through Moses.

I feel like I’m other some kind of cloud, waiting for the signs to know what to do. I think this is part of the grieving process when you lose a relationship. I have to grieve, I have to be sad, I have to learn the lessons so I can move one.

One big lesson I learned it is I neglected my writing. I never ever want to do this in a love relationship again. Writing is good for me; it takes the stress out of my mind and body. I already have an overly active imagination, and when I’m not writing my imagination tends to spill over into my real life. I need to keep my imaginative mind active by making up stories about my fictional characters, instead of making up stories about my relationship. My imagination does not know the difference, honestly. My imagination will make up a story about anything and everything, and it doesn’t take much to get it going. Making up stories comes fairly easy for me because of my imagination, which is great for writing but not great for having a love relationship. When I don’t write I also get depressed, which makes me focus on what’s wrong with my life instead of what’s good and great about it.

So I must learn to make myself write every day, even if I don’t want to, even if I don’t feel like it, which is how I feel most of the time. Even if I only do 15 minute timed freewrites, at least I will still be writing. I am reading my Natalie Goldberg books; she wrote “Writing down to the bones”. Natalie talks about writing like a spiritual practice that you must do every day, so that one day you will be able to write short stories and novels. And not journal writing either, which is what I do, but timed freewrites.

This is my plan and on Monday I restructured my current screenplay in a freewrite. I’m not sure if this is a good thing, but I think it will be fun to see if could restructure my screenplay to fit my new plot. I like problem-solving. I do it naturally, and I get paid to do it in real life. Maybe if I can transfer my natural problem solving skills to my writing, I will be able to put out a story that I really like instead of something that I sort of like.

So I finally gave in and bought a one-year bible. It’s been a dream of mine since college to read the bible in its entirety, and not just the passages they dole out ritualistically in church readings or the ones that get attention on the History channel with those fanatical doom and gloom evangelical and conspiracy theory pundits. The theatre lit professor who was teaching my class on Samuel Beckett, the playwright, lambasted the whole class for our humongous bible illiteracy. Beckett, like most scholars of his time, knew the bible inside and out and used biblical references throughout his work. I can still hear Ellen Mease screaming “And you all missed 90% of them,” and then going into a tirade of the inadequacy of the American educational system. “How are you supposed to read great literature and understand what the authors were trying to say if you don’t get the biblical references?” We all rolled our eyes secretly, eyes that said “yeah, yeah Ellen, whatever.”

But I never forgot her remark. I hate when I don’t get the references; it like so bugs me. I feel stupid and out-of-it when I don’t get things because I’m a smart girl and should get these seemingly simple things. But I never got around to actually wanting to fulfill this dream until a few years ago.

I started on my one-year bible plan three years ago, and that unfortunately only lasted through the middle of February before I gave up. It was too hard. The bible study plan I was using started off in The Old Testament and I don’t know about you but there are parts of the five books of the Torah that are just, I don’t know, unreadable. The people who put together the one-year bible must have first hand knowledge of the bible’s put you sleep state because each day has a reading from the Old Testament, the New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs. Leviticus and its endless dietary restrictions should only be taken in small doses.

I also found the one-year bible online after I bought the book, so dummy me didn’t even have to spend the money. Oh well. My only issue with these bibles is the translations. Although I’m used to reading the New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) translation, personally I like the New Standard Version (NSV). The NRSV takes the wonderful and violent language of the NSV and waters it down, makes it politically correct and I think infinitely more boring. But the one-year bibles that I saw at the bookstore in the Embarcadero only came in the New Living Translation (NLT) and the New International Version (NIV). The NIV is the most popular translation but it only came in the compact version, so I ended up buying the NLT not only because the book was bigger but I wasn’t sure what to make up the NIV introduction when I read that evangelicals endorsed it. That statement, I am embarrassed to say, was enough to scare me off that translation.

The online one-year bible gives you more options to translations, which I wish they would do for the book version. I guess it makes sense for the publisher to print translations of bible that they know will be bought.

So okay, I know it’s March 7 and I have January and February to get caught up with in my reading plan, but I’m hoping that I will be able to fulfill my dream to read the whole bible.

So I talked to my boss this morning and she told what my raise would be. I got the highest amount you could get for the review I received, which wasn't much, really, but considering last year was not a financially stellar year for the company I'm happy I received a raise at all. I've been at companies where they've held back raises because the finances were so bad or haven't given them at all.

I don't think I've done that badly at this company. Since I left my other job in 2004, my salary has gone up 12%. The yearly bonus will be small as well, but I'm just happy becauseI haven't worked for a company that gave out yearly bonuses in a long time. My thinking is, whatever money the company can give you is a good thing.