The ability to hold light is not dependent upon a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle, but more about how much you are aligned with source and how much karma you can release from this life and from all of your other previous incarnations.

People get this so wrong. They focus on the details like eating, instead of focusing on the really big stuff like clearing karma, being totally obedient to source, and embracing your your positive and negative parts and choosing at every moment to be in and for light.

My favorite memory, or at the least the one that keeping coming up, is when we were standing on Venus on a top of a mountain of red soil. We were standing facing each other and holding hands, and he was telling me without words that he loved me and that everything would be alright when we went to earth.

That he would never leave me, that we would lose each other, that he would love me forever as he always did and that nothing would ever separate us. We were twins, one created from the other, we would always be linked.

And I looked at him and loved him for all he said, but even then doubt had somehow krept into my mind. I was afraid, so afraid he would leave me. He was the stronger one. He was the one that was instrumental in our survival through the countless lives that we had lived.

He would not go to earth if I chose not to go, so I could say no. But I could never deny him anything, even though every atom in my being was screaming to say NO.

HE is blinded by ego and power. HE always did like being worshipped as a god, loved being looked up to by lesser creatures. I always saw it as a burden. Perhaps that was my guilt as I had failed as mother to the four sets of twins we bore when we were Crystal people living in Sirius.

I do not know even know if I have a memory of him that was not marred by sadness. HE says we were happy in Atlantis. I do not remember much of that life, other than the fact that HE was a great ruler there. I do not know if I was his wife, his concubine or his slave girl servant that he used whenever he needed to have his needs met. All I know is that we were together.

To stay away from him these many months has been difficult, not because I love him, but because I know HE misses me and since we are one in the same, I always feel his pain.

Somehow he always know what I am doing, and he says that I have judged him harshly. He says that reads my blog posts and it hurts him that all I remember of him and all of our lives together are all the times he has hurt me. Even now he cannot admit the truth. HE not only hurt me emotionally, but HE literally murdered me not once but twice. HE may have even murdered me many more times, but I have no memories of those times.

How can I miss someone who has murdered me and hurt for billions of years?

The first memories that came of HIM was from our life on Venus. Not the Venus you see now, but millions of years ago when it was inhabitable. We had a house there, in fact, in some other dimension planet Venus that we lived on still exists because I still see our house.

We were happy there, peaceful until the call came for volunteers to go to a new planet called "Earth". Teachers were needed to guide this young planet, but you had to reincarnate and be born there. Someone from the Federation came to personally talk to us about going to earth. We had helped to guide so many planets and cultures, and our expertise was valued by all.

I did not want to go. The Federation Agent warned us that the creatures that inhabited earth were wild and savage. HE saw it as a challenge, another feather to hang in our cap. I was afraid, not of going for I was used to that, but of losing him. The Federation agent said that "love" had not yet been born on Earth, the "love" that we knew as a couple. He said it would be hard, that we could lose each other. But HE did not listen. He told me we would never lose each other, that no matter how blinded by maya and ignorance that we would always love each other. HE was wrong.