Following in the Dark is a story I wrote back in 2001. I think I wanted to make this story into a novel, but then I lost interest in finishing it. It looks like I was trying to write one of those soft porn novels for women, but those are really hard to write. I took all the rated X parts out, but here's a piece of it.
Pain is an odd thing. I like pain, physical pain. Emotional pain I can do without. Emotional pain tortures you 24/7. You can’t drink yourself out of it, you can’t watch TV yourself out of it, you can’t play music loud enough and long enough to drown it out. It’s an endless voice that drones on and on. That scene that keeps replaying over and over and over in your head. You know, like at Friday evening Easter mass when you do Stations of the Cross. But it’s like Stations of the Cross every day in my head. That’s emotional pain. But physical pain … ah the beauty and ecstasy of physical pain is that it has a beginning and an end. You know when it stops and you can pretty much tell when it ends. Finite pain. All those philosophers I read in school were wrong about infinity. Finite is definitely better at least for pain. And physical pain is really the only thing that stops emotional pain. It’s a displacement thing, one pain replacing another. But physical pain has its price like everything else in this world. Was it worth the price? After everything that happened, I don’t know. You be the judge.
“My boss hates it. He says I sound like a valley girl on the phone. He keeps telling me to change the week I speak so I sound I don’t know, more professional, I guess.”
“Okay, what about after our first conversation and after our second conversation.
“I’m very serious. Name the place and I’ll be there.” I looked at my watch, it was after 8:30 pm.
“It’s upper Clement isn’t it? Before sixth avenue?”
“Perfect. I”ll see you then.”
“I barely know you, you know. We’ve only just met. A girl has got be careful these days living in a big city like San Francisco.”
“And what do you want now?”
“Oh yeah, lots of fun, you didn’t want to stop.”
“No, thanks for the offer. This is a safe neighborhood.”