Other catholic literature I found in my grandmother's house, and kept as family relics.

A booklet for the "Perpetual Novena in honor of Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal". I remember having to go to novena every Wednesday.

A book - "My Communion: Devotions Before and After Communion", copyright 1935, 1942

A book - "The Saint Joseph Daily Missal", copyright 1961.This book is cool because it had the mass in Latin and in English. What an antique! And the pictures look so familiar to me.

A book - "My Sunday Missal Explained by Father Stedman", with a mass calendar from 1953 - 1959.

A book - another old prayer book in Latin and English, on the page for the "Prayers in great sorrow" my grandmother wrote "He is not happy with me.

A booklet - "The Way of the Cross by Saint Alphonsus Liquori". I remember this book being used for Stations of the Cross, which my family attended every Friday during the Lenten season.

I found a bible in my grandmother's dresser, which I think was hers. It's very, very old with brown pages and a bit termite eaten. The edition is the "The Holy Bible: Red Letter Edition". There isnt' a publication date, so I have no idea how old it is.

I found the following passage highlighted.

Isaiah 65: 21-23
And they shall build houses, and inhabit them; and they shall plant vineyards, and eat the fruit of them. They shall not build, and another inhabit; they shall not plant, and another eat: for as the days of a tree are the days of my people, and mine elect shall long enjoy the work of their hands. They shall not labour in vain, nor bring forth for trouble; for they are the seed of the blessed of the Lord, and their offspring with them.

I wonder if this was a favourite passage of hers.

On my bloggie stats, someone typed into Google "elfgirl in the city" to find my bloggie. Who is looking for my bloggie?

I saw three movies while on vacation.

Plane movies

Agent Cody Banks - a kid's movie, predictable and boring, but I suppose good for the young ones. The CIA is recruiting children in this one, watch out!

Down with Love - Ewan McGregor and Renee Zellwegger in the early 60's. Love the clothes, the story was tired and boring, the woman who played 7 of 9 in Voyager is in it, Ewan as a swinging early 60's bachelor (probably modelled a little on a young Hugh Hefner) is worth the price of the video rental because he does a great southern accent.

Theatre Movie

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
This movie is so worth seeing just to see close ups of Johnny Depp's face, but then again I'd see any movie starring Johnny Depp. Depp is just so darn good looking, and he's aging very, very well!

My star trek crazy cousin and I agreed that Orlando Bloom (the beautiful elf boy from LOTR) looked so much cuter as a blondie, so we weren't quite as enamored of him this time around. Geoffrey Rush was his excellent acting self.

Pirates was a great movie and lots of fun. Not sure why the critics panned it because everyone in the theatre in Lihue loved it, and clapped at the end. The special effect are great as well.

Didn't everyone grow up wanting to be a pirate, reading about pirates, or playing a game of pirates as a kid?

At Ala Moana Shopping Center in Honolulu, there are three great surf shops that I love; Island Snow, Hawaiian Island Creations and Town and Country Surf Hawaii.

HIC and T&C have been around since I was in high school, and Island Snow is relatively new. The stores carry the latest in surf, skateboarding and snow board fashions, as well as equipment and accessories for the various sports.

While in Honolulu, I saw so many people carrying "DaKine backpacks", I just had to have one. They looked so trendy there, and even my chiropractor today told me I had a really cool looking backpack. Check the site out, DaKine.

Da Kine is hawaiian pidgin english for the phrase, "the thing" or "that sort of thing". People say "you know the da kine", then they would go on to explian what "da kine" really means. It's like a catch all phrase, like "whatever".

Anyway, so I bought a "varial" pack, which can be found under Skate packs. Like supposedly, if I had a skateboard I could attach my skateboard to my backpack. Like whatever. It was the cutest, coolest looking and most reasonally priced backpack in the store.

Another idea for a new story from read a book on greek and roman mythology.

Apollo, roman and greek god of the Sun. Also manifested in Egypt as Amen-Ra, god of the sun. Although Apollo/Amen-Ra don't exist, their spirit lives on. Didn't Star Trek find some planet where Apollo lived? My cousin is a serious trekkie, who just had the logo of Star Trek tatooed on her leg and attends the convention in LA every year.

Apollo keeps track of all his followers in their various incarnations. The story takes place in modern day. A dark aspect of Apollo takes over the family of one of his priestesses, and causes havoc and health problems. Apollo uses human bodies to experience life, but the use of a human's body causes harm to the person health and their mind. Apollo can only be banished by an ancient greek exorcism ritual, and the young people in the family travel to Greece to learn how to exorcise Apollo from their family. But of course, he's a god and he's not going to leave without a fight.

Someone in the comments was asking if I had come up with new story ideas, and I did.

While on vacation, I was reading about "devas" or nature spirits. This the name for gods or goddesses who rule over things, usually nature type stuff.

Story idea # 1
Title - Living in the Glass

A story about a woman who is married to the deva (god) of glass and light transmission. The deva of glass and light transmission rules the world of light tranmission. The deva of glass and light transmission has the ability to steal souls of spirit who use light to transmit themselves. Think of the transporter from Star Trek. That's a form of light transmission.

Story Idea # 2
Title - Lady of the Tiger

A story about a woman married to the deva of the saber toothed tiger. Through marriage, she acquires the tiger's ability to sense danger and predators. But the deva of the saber tooth tiger is cruel, he lives in darkness and not in the light. The deva of the saber tooth tiger takes over an unsuspecting tiger and has the tiger kill people. The life of the lady of the tiger is spent avoiding curses put on them by the angry people and other natural tiger predators.

The first day back at work is always difficult.

I typed my password in and I couldn't log into the system. I was on on hold with the IT help desk before I remembered that windows xp is case sensitive and the first letter of my password is capitalized. DUH!!!

After reading a ton of email, I had two conference calls to attend and an analysis to put together. I know I shouldn't complain. At least I came home to a job and I'm busy at work and not looking over my shoulder wondering if I'll get canned.

Open enrollment happened while I was away on vacation, so I had to call HR to get some forms faxed to me. Luckily, I was only two days past the deadline. I wanted to change my health plan to a cheaper version. The company ended up changing insurance carriers, so new beneficiary forms had to be filled out by everyone.

I know about these things now since I've had to deal with they dying stuff at my grandmother's funeral.

Note to everyone. Put all your important papers in one place and mark it clearly. When you die, it will make things much easier for your family or whoever will be going through your stuff.

Cleaning out my grandmother's house made me realize very clearly that when you die, you don't take your stuff with you. Someone will have to throw it all out or sell your things. The less stuff the better. It's all going to end up at a charity, in someone else's house, or most of the time in the trash. Get rid of it now and save your family the pain of throwing your junk out after you die.

I got invited twice to go to Stern Grove for a picnic and to see the San Francisco Ballet perform. It would have been nice to sit in the sun and eat and watch the ballet, but I turned them down.

I went to the gym instead and started work on those 10 pounds I picked up on vacation. I definitely don't need to gain anymore weight by eating picnic food.

After working out, I shopped for food and things for the apartment. I bought a new mouse, because the Barbie mouse a friend gave me one christmas is driving me insane. I have no idea what I did with my old mouse. I bought a logitech mouse for $20.

Then I went on a hunt for this organic room freshener that I found. It comes in a can and the scent is called "desert jasmine". It's the best smelling and the only room freshener I've found that actually smells like a real flower.

I had to go three Targets to find it, but it's so worth it. It smells so good!

Then I came home and watched tv all night. I didn't watch tv while on vacation, so it was kind of fun to just sit and relax and flip channels all night.

I'm back at home tonight, checking email and getting caught up on my fave blogs and other news.

I meant to blog a bit more, but once the relatives started arriving on Wednesday things got very busy. Then I flew to Honolulu and spent time with one of my sisters who is the process of moving back to Hawaii.

I'm glad to be home. It's way too hot and humid in Hawaii for me now, and the fog in SF is so refreshing.

Spent way too much money as usual. Some of it was to buy presents for nieces and nephews and to help my sister get set up to live back home, but I did buy a bunch of stuff for myself.

I'm going to spend the next three months paying off my trip and trying to lose the 10 or so pounds I gained on vacation. I really went overboard with the eating and the no exercising thing.

I'm glad to be home, but sad to be leaving the islands. SF is my home now, but Hawaii will always be home too.

Greetings from Kauai. I'm blogging from the Hanapepe Public Library. For $10, I signed up for a 3 month visitor card, good for 50 minutes once a day of internet usage. It's probably cheaper than logging in at the internet cafe, which I still haven't found but which I'll probably look for anyway. Why not? I'll be here for 9 days.

I tried to log in with my baby laptop from home, but my connection kept dropping. I'm going to try to research the problem today.

There's a rosary every night at my grandma's house at 6:30 pm. People come and say the rosary and then everyone brings a dish to share and we all eat.

I'd forgotten how hot and humid Kauai is, especially on my side of the island. It's about 80-85 degrees, but there is a slight breeze. Still, it's way too hot for me.

Most tourists are in hotels on the north shore at Hanalei or Poipu. I live on the exact opposite end of the island, where there are no hotels, at least I haven't seen any so far.

The only people who live on this side of the island are the ones who actually live here, or are visiting friends and family. My West Virginia friend who visited with me in 1998, loved that my side of the island was tourist free.

I've been cleaning up my grandma's house, and threw out six bags of old clothes. I saw a shirt she had of mine from grade school. There is so much old stuff in the house. I need to clear out as much junk as possible before the other relatives arrive.

One of the few things I miss about Hawaii is the food. The fish here is so fresh, caught in the early morning in the ocean and sold at the supermarket later a few hours later. YUMMY!

My goal as always when I visit home is to eat a pound of raw fish a day, they call it sashimi here. Or, eat it prepared hawaiian style which they call poke. In fancy restaurants in San Francisco, they call it tuna tartare. It's just raw tuna fish, tossed with fresh seaweed, onions, and sesame seed and oil. It's totally heavenly.

They also have a similar poke dish made out of salmon and baby octopus. I just can't get food like this in San Francisco, so I have to take advantage.

If I figure out my internet problems from home, I may blog later tonight.

I've been busy all weekend trying to get ready for my trip home. I bought a new travel sleep pillow, not sure where my old one went. I bought some waterproof thing to keep my stuff in when I go to the beach.

Urinetown was great by the way. It was such a funny musical, very irreverent, riffing off a ton of old broad musicals. It was kind of like Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction. Every thing in the play referenced some familiar broadway musical. My friend from New York who's seen them all got all of it, I hardly got any.

An opportunity for me to possibly buy a place in San Francisco came up on Sunday in an informational meeting. I'd be living downtown at South Beach underneath the Bay Bridge. It's not the neighbourhood I would have liked to live in, but you can't be choosy when it comes to buying a place in the city and county of San Francisco. It's two blocks from Pac Bell Park and two blocks from the Bay if that helps you think of the neighbourhood.

The opportunity for housing is coming through an affordable housing project, something I thought I could never apply for because my income was too high. But they've raised the limits so now I qualify. Yeah for me!

It's a lottery system, and who knows if I'd get it in, let alone qualify for a home loan. I wanted to buy a place, but not till after 2004, and not until after my car and other debts are paid off.

A friend bought her place through an affordable housing project, and waited 5 years before she could get into a place and buy it. She told me it was good to start now, just to get my name out there and into the pool of people looking to buy property.

The meeting was valuable just as an informational tool for what it takes for me to even qualify for a home loan. This home buying thing is so far ahead of the schedule I set for myself, but my friend convinced me that opportunity is knocking and I need to answer the call.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to blog from Kauai. I found an internet cafe 5 minutes from house, and I'm my taking my baby laptop as well, so it's not like I won't have the opportunity.

I just know if I'll be in any kind of mood to blog much. I'm going to play the blogging thing by ear. Kauai is so out of it technologically wise, I think. It might be kind of nice to unplug from the world for a couple of weeks, and enjoy my birthplace.

My brother called and said my grandmother's funeral is scheduled for Saturday July 19 at 1 pm. He's going to have an orchid flower arrangement made for our branch of the family with all of our names. My brother is so very good at taking care of the things like this, and I am very grateful.

I'm going to the play "Urinetown" tonight, which has been on my schedule all year since I'm an ACT subscriber. "Urinetown" got a great review, and its run has been extended, so the show should be good.

I'm meeting a friend at California Pizza Kitchen before the show, since she also bought a ticket for tonight. The friend I'm meeting tonight was planning to go to Kauai with me later in the year to meet my grandma. She wanted to meet the woman who partially raised me. As they say, the best laid plans often fail.

The postal service delivered some natural healing remedies that I ordered last week to take to Hawaii for my grandma's recovery. I guess I'll just take them myself now. I don't think it will hurt me to take all the heart remedies I bought, since heart disease runs in the family.

It was weird to open the box and to see what I had bought. I was really looking forward to sharing my natural healing knowledge with my grandma.

Things I remember about my grandma

She was beautiful
She was smart
She wore ball gowns
She liked wearing spikey three inch heels
She loved to dance and was a great dancer
She made me watch wrestling and Lawrence Welk with her
She always wore pearls, and was a jewelry freak
She taught me how to tell good diamonds from bad diamonds
She loved Elvis Presley, Tom Jones, Engelbert Humperdink, Jack Jones, Don Ho, The Commodores especially Lionel Richie, The Police especially Sting, ABBA, The Temptations, and Barry Manilow
She was very emotional
She love Hong Kong kung fu action movies and has an awesome video collection
She loved Bruce Lee but thought Jean Claude Van Dame was a dud
She was a typical suburban housewife who popped valium, diet pills, drank sherry or vermouth, and for a time became a darvon (painkiller) addict
She was painfully catholic and we had giant crucifixes in every room, plus statues of Jesus, Mary, and a shrine to the Infant of Prague
She loved me

Things I remember about my biological mom:

She was beautiful
She was tall
She was smart
She was always laughing
She was always melancholy
She loved Jim Morrison and the Doors, and was freaked out when Morrison died
She adored Cat Stevens, Brenda Lee, Al Green, Bette Midler, and Maria Muldaur
She smoked hippie lettuce or tripped on acid while listening to the Doors
She had a thing for pretty boys (this must where I get this trait from)
She loved me

I've heard it said that you have "other worldly" experiences when a loved one dies. So here's mine.

I'm lying in bed crying thinking, "why didn't grandma wait for me, she knew I was coming to take care of her in a week?" I felt like moans were coming from deep inside of me somewhere and I hurt all over.

I opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling and I saw this really bright light. First I thought it was the sun making a reflection through my window, so I closed my eyes again and went back to crying.

Then it occured to me that maybe I had seen some kind of vision, some kind of ghost. So I opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling, but the light was gone. So much for ghostly visitations.

But then the light appeared again, and it was so strong it hurt my eyes. I kept looking at the light, and it was like a door had opened, and someone was peeking in at me.

People who have near death experiences say that when you die, you see this really bright light and the end of a tunnel.

Then the light and shadow faded like a door had closed. So I'm thinking maybe grandma died because she couldn't resist the light, she couldn't resist the heavenly light of god's love.

I'm sure she was thinking, "why come back to this world and my frail old body and few more months of life, and the loneliness I've felt these last 10 years after my husband's death. God's light and love is so irresistable, how can I not go?

I know I have loved ones who want to see me, but God's light and love seem so comforting. I can't resist, I have to go, it's too strong, and the only thing keeping me here is seeing my family.

But they'll understand, they'll know I couldn't resist the light, it's too strong, too inviting, too peaceful. I am tired, I am tried of fighting my body, I am tired of living, I want to go home, home to where I came from, home to God."

I know my grandma is happy where she is, wrapped in God's love and surrounded by angels and other loved ones who have also passed. I know she probably couldn't resist the light.

From a fave astrology site - forecast for Wednesday July 9:

"Mars is about to come closer to the earth than at any point in the past 73,000 years. Between now and September, it will be brighter in the sky than it has ever been before. Traditionally of course, Mars is the war planet."

Is this why the world is going on a helter skelter ride right now?

When it rains, it pours. Like we're talking monsoon here.

Just when I have to deal with my family thing, my work life goes bonkers (bonkie)!

I have back to back conference calls tomorrow morning starting at 9 am, and if I end up flying home on Thursday, I have a conference call an hour before my airport shuttle arrives.

I hate this! My life is stressing me on all sides. As an old boss used to day, "it's just another nail in my coffin."

My grandmother died a couple of hours ago. I am in shock. When we last spoke, she was very happy that I was coming home to take care of her and that we would be able to spend some time alone together.

The doctors put a stint in her heart today, and a few hours later she died.

So much for best laid plans and plans for a short future.

My only consolation is that my grandmother and I made our peace together many years ago. There was nothing I needed to say to her, nothing hidden, nothing unsaid that I needed to tell her before she died. Except "I love you, thanks for taking care of me, and goodbye." Things I'd already told her over the years many times.

At least I got to talk to her. Perhaps her last thoughts of me were that I was coming home to take care of her, and how happy this made her. I'm hoping for this at least. It makes the pain more bearable.

From the LA Times, a fun article on Trader Joe's; In the aisles of Trader Joe's, a culture all its own.

I love Trader Joe's. I've been shopping at this store for years! I remember telling my friend in Portland, Oregon about Trader Joe's years ago, and her husband didn't want her to shop there because it was "low-rent".

Now Trader Joe's is so trendy. What a laugh!

This is how the ex-catholic brother in my Sunday christian education class talked about the liberal christian scholar Marcus Borg.

"Borg theorizes that Jesus was just an ordinary man who was crucified by the romans. The early christian church used Jesus' death to create the metaphor of resurrection to break away from the absolute rule of the jewish temple. Borg says that he can't imagine resurrection being real because 1) he can't imagine Jesus as an ordinary human being could give himself up to death that way and 2) a man rising from the dead, come on."

I spoke to the ex-catholic brother about his Borg theory afterwards, and I told him that Borg made Jesus sound like an dupe, a doofus, an accidental saviour, a pawn of the early christian church established by Paul.

Borg is also an apologist for the christian religion, and the guy has obviously never read the journals of soldiers, who go into battle knowing they are facing death, but go anyway for a higher purpose.

What underlies Borg's whole theory of Jesus is back to what Jesus asks his disciples in the gospel; "who the people say that I am, and who do you say that I am?".

Borg doesn't seem to have much of an opinion of Jesus as a person, if he can't see Jesus in the model of a soldier dying for a higher purpose. And what really pisses me off about Borg is he must essentially reject the notion that "Jesus is fully human and fully divine."

The ex-catholic brother agreed with me, and said Borg angers him as well, but he does have good things to say for newcomers to the Christian faith (if you want a watered down politically correct jesus I suppose) and if you were like many people, abused by religion as a child by overzealous adults.

And I'm like whatever. Marcus Borg is a freak, with no imagination. An apologist I suppose, but a prime example of how the age of enlightenment and rationalism, and my personal favorite evil - political correctness, has harmed religion and the idea and practice of faith.

Faith cannot be proved scientifically. Faith cannot be researched historically. Faith is the Kierkegaardian leap of faith into the unknown.

Faith in the context of the christian religion goes back to Jesus' question: "Who do you say that I am?" The answer to this question is the lens (to borrow from Borg) through which you will view your faith, your religion, and your spiritual journey.

I just checked the US Census Bureau on Income; Money Income in the United States 2001.

The median income in 2001 for the US was $42,873. Alaska, Maryland, Connecticut, Minnesota and New Jersey had the highest median incomes. Alaska had the highest at $55,246.

Maybe we're in for a longer recession than I thought; Finance: the Downscaling of America.

Can't wait to see what other economic watchers have to say.

An unbelievable quote from the article:

"Middle income households, which in 2001 earned between $33,315 and $53,000, earn 14.6 percent of American income every year."

I can't believe middle income household salary range is that low, because that's not a lot of money. In San Francisco, the median income is $60,250.

I didn't end up going to the bullfights for the Fourth. I cleaned house, and then a friend called and he came over with food and we watched the fireworks on TV.

He'd just broken up with a longtime girlfriend, so he was as emotionally messed as I was. We sat around discussed each other's mutual woes. My friend's dad recently died so he understood.

It was nice to spend time with my friend and just be all weepy and emotional, because he was feeling the same way too. Plus, he brought over some great store bought fried chicken and potato salad, and he remembered that I liked diet pepsi. Got a love a guy that brings over good tasting food and remembers what kind of soda you drink.

Good thing too, I stocked up up on beer and wine because the boy can sure drink a ton.

I saw the opera "La damnation de Faust" by Berlioz on Thursday. I read the review afterwards, 'Faust' triumphs with or without orgy, and agreed with the reviewer that I couldn't hear the singing of the lead playing Faust.

I was up in the cheap seats, in the balcony and thinking, isn't this guy miked up? I've never had that experience before, and it was very annoying. I could hear the choir fine, and the other singers, but not Faust.

Then I felt bad because the last opera I'd seen was Laz Buhrmann's "La Boheme", and a big deal was made about the singers being miked in that production.

Oh well. When I saw "Turandot", I could hear the the prince perfectly, so it was definitely the fault of the opera singer playing Faust.

And yes, there was an S&M San Francisco style orgy going on, and one point a woman in the choir took off her her blouse revealing her black bra. Some guy in the choir also took off his tux shirt, but the choir chick in the black bra got the most attention, especially when she started kissing the woman next to her.

Now there's a way to pack people in to see the opera, especially the men of both persuasions not to mention the young ones, lesbian sex scenes, S&M threesomes, lots of black leather S&M get ups, and men in black leather jock straps with their hairy butts hanging out.

Plus there was that one scene in that men only tavern where two nuns and two priests come out, and then strip their clothes off to reveal themselves as men wearing fake breasts and jock straps (and yes more hairy butts) who then are groped by the men in the tavern.

But the singing was divine, except for that darned lead tenor! And the opera was short; two hours with no break.

There were many references to easter, and at the end children came out with the girls dressed like they were at their first communion and the boys were carrying crosses. It added a nice counter balance to all the sex scenes, I think.

Oh, and did I mention that the girl singer had short hair, which kind of made her look like a young boy, if you know what I mean. Or maybe she was supposed to have that Julie Andrews nun look from "The Sound of Music".

It was all very questionable, I think. But then this is San Francisco and you're going to have to play to all types of desires I think. A young boy, a young girl, what does it matter, because in the end Faust goes to hell and the young boy/girl, led astray by desire, is redeemed.

Subject: Fw: [SRL] quick before they take it down..

Go to http://www.google.co.uk

then type: weapons of mass destruction

Don't press Search!!

Next click the "I'm feeling lucky" button - read the

error message and read the page error page . .

This is probably really old and I know I've seen it before, but I found it on a site about Kauai and I still think it's very funny.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other
system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this program.

Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks, Joe
=================================
Dear Joe:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that life 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0,
so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.

Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause.

The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 4.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.6. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck.

Tech Support.

One of the things I do miss about home is the hourly "Surf Report". How can you live without knowing what the waves are doing?

Here's a fun surfing site I check out when I feel homesick and need to see some wave action; Surfline.

I love the cam shots of waves all over the world! Note to self: check out all the surfing stores to buy 1) surfing dvds and videos and 2) long sleeve surfing brand t-shirts with writing on the sleeves. I love long sleeve t-shirts with designs and/or writing on the sleeves.

Anti-americanism may be popular in Europe and the rest of the world, but it's not stopping fashion designers for men's clothes in Paris from using american-style clothes in their current collections; Macho America Storms Europe's Runways.

This article sounds like it comes right out out of a science fiction story, and will probably have ramifications for the future of genetic research, Scientists Produce Human Embryos of Mixed Gender.

From the LA Times, a very interesting article on a play; The comedy "US and Them" probes the special but fraying relationship between Britons and Americans.

Two interesting points which I find very true.

"I talked with Tamsin about what it must be like to grow up thinking that you live in the greatest nation on Earth," Darnell says, "For the American character to say, 'Every day I thank God for my country' — in certain parts of America, it would be seen as, 'Of course you do,' whereas from an English perspective, it's seen as something to laugh at. "

I think I do wake up and think I lived in the greatest country in the world.

" "I can't pretend it hasn't been difficult," she says with a sigh. "Anti-Americanism has become the only acceptable prejudice in the world, but I'm not in favor of anti-anythingism. We criticize American policies, but we all buy American things and watch American films and drool over American celebrities. We have to examine what it is about America that we don't like and how much of it is actually reflecting us.

The playwright concludes: "At the same time as we criticize America, we're all becoming more American. If we are victims of American cultural imperialism, then we have to look at what part we play in going along with it." "

The ex-catholic brother and I were talking last Sunday about being catholic. I told him that the priests serving at my childhood church were from the Marist order. He said "that explains everything".

I asked him what he meant, and he said that the Marists were originally from the Benedictine order, or something like that, and that the Marists were the liberal catholics.

He told me that most of the catholics churches in San Francisco were conservative, which he said was so strange since San Francisco has the reputation for being a liberal city.

I've been researching the Marists, the Benedictine order, and the history of catholicism in France. The Marists priesthood was born in the aftermath of the French Revolution.

There was an article on the Net about liberal catholicism coming out of France, after the French revolution. There's just too much to take in and to synthesize for me to make sense of it tonight. But I kind of the gist of what he's saying.

The ex-catholic brother also said that he thought the presbyterian church was a strain from the Benedicitine order. I have no idea what he meant when he said this, but I'm dying to find out.

Here's a site with some great touristy type pictures of Kauai: Kauai Image Galleries.

There's even a picture of Salt Pond, which is one of my favorite beaches near where I grew up. It's an enclosed pond, so you dont' have to worry about riptides when you swim. It was a favorite party beach when I was high school. One night my friends and I had a drunken moonlight swim, and then afterwards we laid on the beach in hopes of getting a "moon tan".

What To Expect On Kauai (from some internet site)

Location
Kauai is an island, part of the State of Hawaii and the United States. It is about 100 miles (160 kilometers) northwest of Honolulu, which is on the island of Oahu.

Air Transportation
Unless you have your own boat, or are on a cruise, the only way to reach Kauai is by air. United Airlines, American Airlines, Hawaiian Airlines and Aloha Airlines fly to the airport in Lihue on Kauai from Honolulu and various airports on the Mainland USA. There is also a small commuter plane that flies once a day from Honolulu to Princeville on the North Shore of Kauai. Flights from California directly to Honolulu or Lihue take about five hours. Please note that the Lihue Airport does not have any currency exchange services.

The Social Environment
Kauai is rural. The population is about 55,000 scattered mostly around the coast and concentrated in a few small towns. Overall, sidewalks and wheelchair ramps are very limited. It is the custom of most residents to remove their footgear when they enter a home, but not a store. There is not a great deal of evening entertainment. (no kidding! you are in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the pacific ocean and you can't drive off.)

The Physical Environment
Kauai is a tropical island, with all its implications.

Weather - at its best, a balmy 77F (25C), with blue skies, puffy white clouds, soft breezes and gentle waves. At its worst, either stormy and rainy with high waves, or very hot and humid with waves doing whatever they feel like. The weather is very changeable, and there is no guarantee of any kind for any season.
Swimming - you must always use caution, because the waves and currents are unpredictable, even on a calm day. The rules are "If in doubt, don't go out" and "If you do go out, look about." People are lost every year, either by large waves they weren't looking at or by riptides. If you should get caught in a riptide (a strong current that pulls you out to sea for up to a hundred yards or so) just go with it until it weakens and swim along the shore until you can get back in.
Wildlife - no snakes and nothing larger than wild boar, which you are unlikely to see unless you go hunting for it in the mountains. Lots of birds, and lots of insects. You are most likely to encounter mosquitoes, geckos (small lizards that often live indoors), cockroaches, spiders of various sizes, and, possibly, a centipede or two.

Information about my home island.

The tropical paradise of Kaua'i basks amidst the sparkling blue waters of the Pacific Ocean, about 20 minutes by air from Honolulu. Formed some six million years ago, the island encompasses roughly 550 miles and is the oldest and northernmost of the main Hawaiian Islands.

Here's one of the official sites: Discover Kaua'i.

Comments from the anti-semitic professor at Oxford on the Oxford University site; Comments by Professor Andrew Wilkie.

Is this anti-semitic? Outrage as Oxford bans student for being Israeli.

I spoke to my eldest aunt, who lives on Kauai, and she said my grandma will be home by the time I get to Hawaii. I think my aunt was happy to know I was coming, because she's the one who's going to be taking care of grandma since she lives nearby.

The rest of the family will see grandma at the hospital, but it's my aunt who will be the major caretaker until my uncle arrives in August to move in and take care of her. My aunt said it will be nice for her to have help and relief.

My grandma will probably freak out though because that means I'll be making her meals. She's an excellent cook, and she knows I'm not up to her skill in the kitchen. Oh well. My aunt can't really cook either, so I don't feel that bad.

I went through a Jack Benny fit trying to decide how to get home. I decided in the end to fly on Aloha, because they're partnered with United Airlines. With my airline mileage flying to Hawaii and back, I'll have enough for a free trip on United.

It would have been cheaper to go with Suntrips, and I've booked with them before and they're not that bad. But for an extra $200, I'll earn a free trip on United within the continental United Staes. Got to use up my United Airlines miles before anything else happens with them.

I'm spending 8 days on Kauai, then I'll fly to Honolulu to visit with my brother, shop and be a tourist. I have a hankering to see the Honolulu Zoo. I haven't been there since I was a kid.

This is the first time I won't be staying in a hotel on some part of my trip home. My brother told me I could stay at his house, and I said yes. He doesn't live that far from downtown Waikiki, the bus system in Honolulu is decent for a city its size, and it's only for a few nights.

I love staying in hotels, and I think I'm going to miss that part of the trip the most.

My screenwriting teacher is spending the summer surfing on the North Shore of Oahu, and I may send her an email to see if she wants to get together.

I'm relieved to have the logistics part of my trip taken care of. I bought a ticket, reserved my rental car, and even made airport shuttle reservations.

Now I have to get ready for the emotional part of my trip. I have a feeling grandma won't live past September, and this will probably be the last time I'll see her.

It makes me happy to think that I may be returning the physical love and care that she gave me growing up.

I wasn't planning to do anything on July 4th, because I'm really too emotionally raw to be with people, but a friend just called and I may end up going with her to a bull fight.

Bull fights in California? What a trip! I'm sure the PETA people are up in the arms. Here's the schedule, California Bull Fights.

There's a bull fight on July 4th somewhere in the Central Valley. My friend has been to real ones in Spain, but I've never seen one.

This is the friend I went to West Virginia with last summer, and we were reminiscing about spending last July 4th on the golf course at The Greenbrier Resort in West Virginia, and watching the guards trying the keep the riff raff trash like us from getting close to the clubhouse.

I don't know though. I don't know if I'll be good company even for my friend, and we're playing it by ear since her boyfriend may want to go instead.

Part of me just wants to spend the holiday lying in bed and being by myself. Depression makes me tired and sleepy, and not very good company for anyone but myself.

I'm depressed. No doubt about it. I feel like I'm living in the land of limbo.

I can't make my flight reservations to fly home because I don't know if grandma is going to be in Honolulu or on Kauai. My family just doesn't know. And I feel bad for betting on my corporate and financial instincts, which says her healthplan will boot her out as soon as possible to save money.

I work in the business, that's how it goes. I even designed a report for my healthcare organization which listed which of our patients were in the hospitals. Every morning the nurses used the report to make sure that patients didn't stay in the hospitals any longer than they had to. The financial model was always shorter hospital stays, because hospital stays are the number one expense driver.

Still I can't be sure, so I have to wait and waiting is depressing. So I watch TV, and lie on my bed thinking about life. Or I iron clothes just to keep busy.

I can't write. Writing feels stupid in a life and death situation. Who the hell cares if I have anything to say or any stories to tell. Life is ending for god's sake.

Or I think how my biggest fear was I would lead an ordinary boring life, and maybe I'm living my greatest fear. A friend from Santa Barbara had a word for this kind of life, but I can't think about it right now because thinking takes too much effort.

I wonder where my Santa Barbara friend is now. I'm sure she's living in New York City somewhere with her PR business, living the kind of life I thought I wanted but gave up. But if I was living like my Santa Barbara friend, I would have been living in NYC when 9/11 happened, and that wouldn't have been fun either.

But TV is fun, and watching old taped TV shows are fun.

I watched Witchblade last night. The creators of that show did such an incredible job of tying everything in the show together. They have to, it's part of the plot. Now that's a cool writing trick, making tying everything together part of the story.

The story of the Witchblade is it's an object of power which endows the wearer with special powers. When someone wears the witchblade everything in their life becomes connected, there are no accidents, everything in life becomes a lesson for the witchblade wearer to learn.

I wish I had something in my life that connected everything together. Maybe then I would understand what is going on in my life right now.

My thoughts are rambling like my life. All over the place, all at once, randomly going from one incident to the next, with no purpose. Sorry about that.