I decided that I hate my job. I probably would have tried to leave last year if it wasn’t for that whole business with the red-haired guy. The people are nice, but the organization itself sucks since it’s so disorganized. I can see them heading into some rocky, rocky times this year now that the CEO is sending out emails about how we need to cut expenses.

I didn’t like my other job either, but I was so lucky to have a job when everyone else I knew was unemployed, that I managed to file away from discontent for four years. I have to figure out a way to file away my dissatisfaction with this new job like I did with my previous job. I know this is a good job for me financially, and my boss is great although sometimes just plain irritating. But the company is very dysfunctional and their disorganization is just too much for me to handle sometimes. I know my boss feels the same way because she told me last week that she didn’t know what we were doing.

My intuition is telling me to at least hold one through the summer because the company will going through some rough times, and that the rough times will initiate several changes culturally within the company. Until then, I’m going to have to figure out a way to feel content with my job. My discontent is at a zenith today, and I know this is a bad sign for me. I know it’s affecting my attitude at work and that’s not good.

I'm hoping this is just post too long holiday job satisfaction stuff, but I have a feeling it's not. I think this stuff has been building for a long time, and fortunately or unfortuntately, my roller coaster personal life has distracted me from facing how much I'm really not happy at work. Part of me wants to initiate another personal crisis just so I can stay at my job, but that would only delay things and not really solve them.