I think I know why I've become such a freak at my current job. Most of the people here don't have anything else in their life other than this job. This job is their life and some of them went to school and put themselves into debt because they are passionate about healthcare.

I could care less about healthcare. I stumbled into it and I stay in it because I can make a decent income in a job that is relatively stress free work wise and easy for me. Yes, I'm a good at my job and have become something of a subject matter expert in the two years I've been here, I mean some people think I'm a nurse which is such a laugh for me, but it's not my life and it's just a way for me to make money. I have a pretty good work ethic, so of course I try to do well at my job, but healthcare isn't my life, isn't my "mission".

I want to write novels and screenplays for a living. I am passionate about writing books that commuters like me want to read, a book that makes transports them to a different world and makes them forget for a few minutes the horrible job that they are in. I love books that make me forget about my commute, forget where I am so much that I miss my stop. Books that make me forget the freaks on Muni I come into contact with every day are rare, but when I find them it's a joy. I never want the story to end, and when it does end I am bummed out, so bummed out that I end up reading all the books that the author has written just to recapture that feeling again.

I love movies that do the same thing to me, movie make me forget my horrible life for a couple of hours.

I admire people who are passionate about healthcare, or at the very least can pretend very well to be passionate about their job. A friend of mine says people who are that enthused about their job are just faking it, and that every0ne is feeling the same way I do only they're better at hiding it than I am. I wonder about that. I think if you go out and get hourself a masters in healthcare, that must mean you are passionate and want to work in the field.

I wish I could afford to work in a bookstore or some other dead-end job, anywhere but here in healthcare where I am a freak and not a happy freak at that.