I changed the colours again. I'm trying to replicate the colours of this print I have of a japanese fall scene, "Autumn at Oirase, Towada, June 1933" by Kawase Hasui (1883-1957) from the series "Collection o Scenic Views of Japan, Eastern Provinces".

We never get a proper fall here the SF Bay Area, with the falling beautiful red, gold and brown leaves. Fall is the one thing I miss about not living in a four season climate. I think it's my favorite season. But we get an Indian Summer here in San Francisco, so the Fall does it have perks here. Like today. The weather was balmy and 80 something degrees all dayand night. Nights in Hawaii are like this; hot, sultry and delicious. I love walking around at night in shorts. If only there was a warm ocean bay beach to swim around here with no nasty undertow, then I would really feel like I was living in paradise again.

What I submitted to my screenwriting teacher as a second draft, and her comments.

Working Title - "Going Home Again"
Genre - Family Drama like "Field of Dreams" and "Frequency".
Proposed Length - 110 pages.

While at home for a baseball series, a 38 year old baseball player comes to term with his unspectacular career and his impending retirement. During the night of his birthday celebration and a family reunion, the journeyman baseball player confronts his strained relationship with his dying father, his trouble relationship with his wife and estranged 10 year old son, and the old sibling rivalry with his younger brother.

The Story
Shots of San Francisco.
Voice over by main character setting up strain of returning home and family reunion.
Alternating scenes with family talking about main character, his career, the family renunion and the upcoming birthday party and;
scenes in visiting baseball team locker room with main character and team mates talking about his batting slump, his birthday, family reunions and the poor performance of the team.
Scene outside baseball park where main character runs into his little league coach. They discuss his career, his father, etc. Little
league coach asks about retirement, and tells main character how great retirement is.
Plot Point 1 - main character runs into manager after little league coach. They talk about his batting slump, and being benched for a younger player coming up from the minors. Manager hints that maybe it's time to retire. Main character is reluctant. They talking about careers, fathers and family reunions.
Scenes with family, trip to the brother's school, confrontation with father, mother, brother, and son. Main character finally confronts father and makes up with dad.
Plot Point 2 - Father has a heart attack right after conversation with dad.
Family at hospital. Scenes of resolving issues with wife and brother. Dad dies. Main character decides to play in tomorrow's game and decides not tell anyone.
Scene in visiting team locker room. Main character hits well in game and gets congratulated by team members. Meets with manager and tells him dad died, would like time off, agrees to be benched for younger player, and announces his retirement.
Final scene - funeral reception for father at parent's home. Scene with main character and son talking about grandfather, looking at the old clippings, tells him afterwards they'll play catch in the backyard just like how grandpa played with him.

Notes from Julie O:
to have the ending I have, main story is really about the main character's strained relationship with his 10 year old son - it's the A story, everything else, story with dying father, brother and wife, is a B story. Son represensts hope for the future, so that he doesn't end up like his father, and make the grandfather's death be in vain.

Julie O suggested I craft four plots or spines:
main character and son
main character and dying father
main character and brother
main character and wife.

Then weave all four plots together into one story.

I wrote the following as a note to my writing group, but I'll post it here as well.

1. I met with my screenwriting teacher tonight to talk about writing the second draft of my screenplay. She suggested that I enter my screenplay into the American Screenwriters Association/Writers Digest International Screenplay Competition October 31, 2002 (late). Julie O said it would be a good date deadline to work towards. And OH MY GOD, I think I'm going to do it! It's $55 to enter ($50 plus $5 later fee). What the hell, right? It'll be done and off my desk, and I can get on with my other writing projects, since I don't consider myself a "real screenwriter". Julie O said I'd be ready to enter with the second draft of my screenplay, which is radically different from the first.

2. I entered the National Novel Writing month contest again, where you write 50K words in the month of November. I entered under my pen name, S Brenda S. I'm calling my novel "Wallowing in the Dark".

Oh my living lord!!! I'm going to be busy writing these next two months.

Anyone care to do NANOWRIMO with me? Check the site, National Novel Writing Month. It's a blast, and really good training on how to just get through that tough first draft. Last year's competition helped me finish my screenplay.

Now with the screenwriting contest thing I'm doing, I think I'm going to go through a crash course in rewriting and polishing, and scary thought, "the real art of writing as a craft". I never thought I'd be at this point so soon. Maybe I'm not even there yet, and it's another one to two years away, but I guess I'll find out with the process of writing second draft of my screnplay, which I've renamed to "Going Home Again".

Wish me luck!

Experimenting with colours ... wanted the page to evoke fall leaves against the sky ... not sure it's working though.