I received an email from my screenwriting seminar leader this morning saying it's going to be a small group. She said that each participatnt would have more time tomorrow so we could bring extra stuff for review.
I think I will bring the second screenplay I wrote, which I still want to rewrite. I'll bring ten pages of it just to see what the group has to say about it. I like how the people in the group review. They are very detailed and their feedback is very concrete and not personal.
One of the women in the group, whose screenplay is now being shopped around to all the studios, said she rewrote her screenplay 100 times. I don't know if this is an exagerration on her part, but I got the picture.
My new screeenplay is the first one I have started writing, where I haven't written 15 versions of the step outline before I started writing. I've written one four page story summary and one step outline, and it feels like I'm flyind blind in my writing process. YIKES!
Saturday, January 14, 2006
I went to Starfbombs and spent 3.5 hours writing 7 pages of my screenplay. Wow! The time just flew by. By the time I looked up from my laptop, it was dark and when I looked at the time it was 6:45 pm. I got so lost in writing my screenplay. I kind of love when I get that way, where I get so consumed I'm not aware of time or of anyone else around in the cafe. Except I did notice that I heard the same song by Al Green twice. Somebody forgot to change the cd.
I think I figured out how to fix my screenplay. I have to write out a 60-beat step outline to know if I really did find a way to fix my structural problems, but I have a good feeling about it.
I like my seven pages. They're not bad. I tried to not let it get it too talking heads, and kept my one long talking scene down to three pages, and I worked on showing and not telling.
Still seven minutes of screen time in 3.5 hours is not good production for me. At that rate, it will take me about three weeks to finish my screenplay. I think it will take me at least one week to iron out my step outline, and after that I can start writing in earnest.
Check it out.
FADE IN:
INT. SILICON VALLEY - DAY
A montage of scenes from Silicon Valley in late 1990’s, its successful companies, the high prices on NASDAQ, the houses, etc.
INT. ATHERTON - LATE AFTERNOON
WENDY JOHNSTON, a pert blonde with wavy perfectly styled long hair, is driving to her house in a brand new sky-blue Mercedes convertible. A very large diamond platinum engagement ring can be seen on her hand. She pulls into a gated driveway of a large two story mansion with columns and parks her car.
Wendy, who looks like she just leaped out of a fashion magazine ad, steps out of the car. She pulls various shopping bags from the car each bearing the name of a high-end store.
Wendy walks to the door of the house, opens it and we glimpse an interior that looks like a spread out of Architectural Digest.
INT. THE DINING ROOM WENDY’S HOUSE - EARLY EVENING
Wendy, attired n a designer 50’s retro cocktail dress and matching stiletto heels, arranges white french tulips in a crystal vase on the dining table. A paper bag from a gourmet grocery store sits amidst two place settings of special occasion very formal china, crystal and sterling silver with several matching serving dishes.
Wendy opens the bag and takes out containers of gourmet food and empties them into the serving dishes.
She then picks up the telephone on the side table.
WENDY (INTO THE PHONE)
Hi honey. Just calling to say hello. I’m just about through making dinner. Can’t wait to see you. Dinner is at seven. Love you.
INT. THE LIVING ROOM - MID EVENING
Wendy is sitting on the sofa with television on mute talking with her friend JULIE ROTH (JULES for short). Jules, who looks like her red-headed twin sister, is dressed in figure hugging jeans and a glittery T-shirt and thigh-high black suede boots. Two half-filled wine glasses are on a table in front of the sofa.
WENDY
What do you mean give him an ultimatum? I can’t do that.
JULES
How many times has he done this? You can’t sit around here every night waiting for him to come home.
WENDY
But if I don’t have dinner waiting on the table when he gets home, he gets angry.
JULES
And how many times has that happened?
WENDY
Once, but once was enough.
JULES
If you don’t try to confront him now, he’ll never change. Is this how you want him to treat you?
WENDY
Of course not. But what if it doesn’t work? What if he gets mad and breaks up with me?
JULES
Trust me, he won’t. Most guys just need a little yelling at to keep them in place every now and then. And you’ve left it go far too long. You should have cracked the whip a long time ago.
WENDY
You don’t know Karl. He’s not like other guys.
JULES
Sure he is. Now promise me you’ll do it. Don’t look so worried. I’m telling you, I’ve done it and it works. Promise me?
WENDY
I promise.
INT. THE DINING ROOM - LATE EVENING
The dinner on the table has been untouched. An empty wine bottle is on the table. KARL WARNER, a thin tall mousey blonde of a man with glasses an overbite and pock-marked skin, enters the room and puts his beat-up canvas briefcase which has initials on the table.
INT. THE LIVING ROOM
Karl enters the room and sees Wendy asleep on the sofa with her heels on. He glances at the late night comedy show on the television and smiles as hears a funny line. Two empty wine glasses and a bowl with a few pieces of popcorn sits on the table besides two bowls stacked on top of each other filled with two spoons and an empty pint-sized ice cream container. Karl walks to the far end of the sofa and sits down and watches the end of the skit.
Afterwards he turns to the sleeping form on the sofa and tries to wake Wendy up. Wendy opens her eyes, sees KARL and sits up.
WENDY
What time is it?
KARL
After eleven. You missed a good skit.
WENDY
Why didn’t you call?
KARL
I was busy.
WENDY
Have you eaten?
KARL
We had pizza at the office. You had your usual dinner with Jules. Did you pick up my shirts today?
WENDY
What shirts?
KARL
The ones I told you this morning to pick up. I left reminder notes all over the house. (silence) I ask you to do one thing and you can’t even do it.
WENDY
This is the what? Let’s see. Three times a week every month for twenty-one months is roughly about 250 times that you forgot to call me and tell me you’d be late.
KARL
Don’t exaggerate. Besides it’s the not the same thing. I’ve got a job.
WENDY
Then why promise you’ll call if you don’t mean it?
KARL
Because you nag at me until I promise, that’s why.
WENDY
I’ve had it Karl. I’m tired of slaving hard at making a good dinner every night, setting the table, dressing up, and waiting for you to come home, only to have you walk in hours later without a call. It’s not fair to me and I won’t be treated this way.
KARL
So what do you want me to do?
WENDY
I want you to promise me you’ll call me if you’re going to be late, and don’t just say it if you don’t mean it.
KARL
And if can’t make that promise, then what?
WENDY
Then, I’ll leave, you know, move out.
Karl and Wendy sit in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Karl is watching the television, and Wendy looks down at the diamond engagement ring on her finger and turns it from side to side staring at the glittering lights winking back at her.
KARL
Is this an ultimatum?
WENDY
Yes.
KARL
You really want to do this?
WENDY
Of course.
KARL
If you’re than unhappy with me, then I think you need to leave. I really like you, but this is my life. I’m running a start-up company and it’s going to be like this at least for another couple of years. I’m sorry.
Wendy sits there with her mouth half open. She slowly stands up and leaves the room.
EXT. SUNNYVALE - DAY
We see a modest run-down 70’s style apartment complex somewhere in Sunnyvale. The freeway can be seen and heard behind the complex. Wendy’s Mercedes convertible looks out of place parked between the motorcycles, trucks and older model cars. Large hedges and trees in need of some serious pruning are scattered around the complex. We hear in the background a couple fighting, televisions blaring, Latino folk music playing and children screaming. A door to an apartment in open and we see a man sitting in an apartment watching television. A laundry line full of very colorful shirts is strung across the living room.
INT. WENDY’S APARTMENT
Wendy, dressed in gray oversized sweats with dark brown streaks in her blonde hair which is an early dreadlocked state, sits on a dime store sofa crying holding a picture of Karl. Used tissues form a cloud around her that spill on to the floor. Jules, dressed in an expensive skirt and top and red boots, sits beside holding a box of tissues.
JULES
How long are you going to keep this up? It’s been six months.
WENDY
Forever. I told he was different.
JULES
So why do you want to be with somebody who is that weird anyway? You have to get over with him. Come to a party with me on Tuesday. Lots of single guys will be there.
WENDY
I don’t want anyone else. I want Karl.
JULES
You’re never going to get him back with your hair like that. You look like you have birds’ nests on your head.
WENDY
It doesn’t look that bad. I just haven’t brushed it in awhile.
JULES
You didn’t make out too badly did you? He let you keep the car, the clothes and the jewelry, and he gave you a job at his company. You’re coming to the meeting tomorrow night aren’t you?
WENDY
I don’t know. I don’t think it’s helping me.
JULES
Of course it is. You just haven’t given it enough time. And try not to be late again.
INT. WENDY’S PLACE OF WORK - NEXT DAY
Wendy, dressed in modest blue skirt, blue skirt and white blouse with her hair in a bun, sits at desk outside of an office typing a memo. Her desk is a jumble of papers and files. There is an empty coffee cup on one side of her computer, and a half empty water bottle on the other side. A postcard of woman with frazzled hair with the caption “Bad Hair Daze” is tacked to back wall.
On the other side of Wendy is another desk where GLORIA, an older woman with teased-out bleached blonde hair wearing a too-tight cheap purple suit sits filing her nails and talking on the phone.
JOHN, a young file clerk, stops at her desk and puts a stack of files on an empty space.
JOHN
These need filing today.
Wendy glances over at Gloria.
WENDY
I’ve got a stack of letters that need to go out by 4 p.m. (Wendy glances at the clock) Can’t someone else do this?
JOHN
Jay says he want you do it before you leave. He says you know where they go, and he wants to be able to find them again someday. He’s your boss not mine. See you later.
John looks at Gloria, then back at her, smiles and walks away. Wendy looks at the clock, the stack of files, the stack of letters and keeps typing.
I think I figured out how to fix my screenplay. I have to write out a 60-beat step outline to know if I really did find a way to fix my structural problems, but I have a good feeling about it.
I like my seven pages. They're not bad. I tried to not let it get it too talking heads, and kept my one long talking scene down to three pages, and I worked on showing and not telling.
Still seven minutes of screen time in 3.5 hours is not good production for me. At that rate, it will take me about three weeks to finish my screenplay. I think it will take me at least one week to iron out my step outline, and after that I can start writing in earnest.
Check it out.
FADE IN:
INT. SILICON VALLEY - DAY
A montage of scenes from Silicon Valley in late 1990’s, its successful companies, the high prices on NASDAQ, the houses, etc.
INT. ATHERTON - LATE AFTERNOON
WENDY JOHNSTON, a pert blonde with wavy perfectly styled long hair, is driving to her house in a brand new sky-blue Mercedes convertible. A very large diamond platinum engagement ring can be seen on her hand. She pulls into a gated driveway of a large two story mansion with columns and parks her car.
Wendy, who looks like she just leaped out of a fashion magazine ad, steps out of the car. She pulls various shopping bags from the car each bearing the name of a high-end store.
Wendy walks to the door of the house, opens it and we glimpse an interior that looks like a spread out of Architectural Digest.
INT. THE DINING ROOM WENDY’S HOUSE - EARLY EVENING
Wendy, attired n a designer 50’s retro cocktail dress and matching stiletto heels, arranges white french tulips in a crystal vase on the dining table. A paper bag from a gourmet grocery store sits amidst two place settings of special occasion very formal china, crystal and sterling silver with several matching serving dishes.
Wendy opens the bag and takes out containers of gourmet food and empties them into the serving dishes.
She then picks up the telephone on the side table.
WENDY (INTO THE PHONE)
Hi honey. Just calling to say hello. I’m just about through making dinner. Can’t wait to see you. Dinner is at seven. Love you.
INT. THE LIVING ROOM - MID EVENING
Wendy is sitting on the sofa with television on mute talking with her friend JULIE ROTH (JULES for short). Jules, who looks like her red-headed twin sister, is dressed in figure hugging jeans and a glittery T-shirt and thigh-high black suede boots. Two half-filled wine glasses are on a table in front of the sofa.
WENDY
What do you mean give him an ultimatum? I can’t do that.
JULES
How many times has he done this? You can’t sit around here every night waiting for him to come home.
WENDY
But if I don’t have dinner waiting on the table when he gets home, he gets angry.
JULES
And how many times has that happened?
WENDY
Once, but once was enough.
JULES
If you don’t try to confront him now, he’ll never change. Is this how you want him to treat you?
WENDY
Of course not. But what if it doesn’t work? What if he gets mad and breaks up with me?
JULES
Trust me, he won’t. Most guys just need a little yelling at to keep them in place every now and then. And you’ve left it go far too long. You should have cracked the whip a long time ago.
WENDY
You don’t know Karl. He’s not like other guys.
JULES
Sure he is. Now promise me you’ll do it. Don’t look so worried. I’m telling you, I’ve done it and it works. Promise me?
WENDY
I promise.
INT. THE DINING ROOM - LATE EVENING
The dinner on the table has been untouched. An empty wine bottle is on the table. KARL WARNER, a thin tall mousey blonde of a man with glasses an overbite and pock-marked skin, enters the room and puts his beat-up canvas briefcase which has initials on the table.
INT. THE LIVING ROOM
Karl enters the room and sees Wendy asleep on the sofa with her heels on. He glances at the late night comedy show on the television and smiles as hears a funny line. Two empty wine glasses and a bowl with a few pieces of popcorn sits on the table besides two bowls stacked on top of each other filled with two spoons and an empty pint-sized ice cream container. Karl walks to the far end of the sofa and sits down and watches the end of the skit.
Afterwards he turns to the sleeping form on the sofa and tries to wake Wendy up. Wendy opens her eyes, sees KARL and sits up.
WENDY
What time is it?
KARL
After eleven. You missed a good skit.
WENDY
Why didn’t you call?
KARL
I was busy.
WENDY
Have you eaten?
KARL
We had pizza at the office. You had your usual dinner with Jules. Did you pick up my shirts today?
WENDY
What shirts?
KARL
The ones I told you this morning to pick up. I left reminder notes all over the house. (silence) I ask you to do one thing and you can’t even do it.
WENDY
This is the what? Let’s see. Three times a week every month for twenty-one months is roughly about 250 times that you forgot to call me and tell me you’d be late.
KARL
Don’t exaggerate. Besides it’s the not the same thing. I’ve got a job.
WENDY
Then why promise you’ll call if you don’t mean it?
KARL
Because you nag at me until I promise, that’s why.
WENDY
I’ve had it Karl. I’m tired of slaving hard at making a good dinner every night, setting the table, dressing up, and waiting for you to come home, only to have you walk in hours later without a call. It’s not fair to me and I won’t be treated this way.
KARL
So what do you want me to do?
WENDY
I want you to promise me you’ll call me if you’re going to be late, and don’t just say it if you don’t mean it.
KARL
And if can’t make that promise, then what?
WENDY
Then, I’ll leave, you know, move out.
Karl and Wendy sit in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Karl is watching the television, and Wendy looks down at the diamond engagement ring on her finger and turns it from side to side staring at the glittering lights winking back at her.
KARL
Is this an ultimatum?
WENDY
Yes.
KARL
You really want to do this?
WENDY
Of course.
KARL
If you’re than unhappy with me, then I think you need to leave. I really like you, but this is my life. I’m running a start-up company and it’s going to be like this at least for another couple of years. I’m sorry.
Wendy sits there with her mouth half open. She slowly stands up and leaves the room.
EXT. SUNNYVALE - DAY
We see a modest run-down 70’s style apartment complex somewhere in Sunnyvale. The freeway can be seen and heard behind the complex. Wendy’s Mercedes convertible looks out of place parked between the motorcycles, trucks and older model cars. Large hedges and trees in need of some serious pruning are scattered around the complex. We hear in the background a couple fighting, televisions blaring, Latino folk music playing and children screaming. A door to an apartment in open and we see a man sitting in an apartment watching television. A laundry line full of very colorful shirts is strung across the living room.
INT. WENDY’S APARTMENT
Wendy, dressed in gray oversized sweats with dark brown streaks in her blonde hair which is an early dreadlocked state, sits on a dime store sofa crying holding a picture of Karl. Used tissues form a cloud around her that spill on to the floor. Jules, dressed in an expensive skirt and top and red boots, sits beside holding a box of tissues.
JULES
How long are you going to keep this up? It’s been six months.
WENDY
Forever. I told he was different.
JULES
So why do you want to be with somebody who is that weird anyway? You have to get over with him. Come to a party with me on Tuesday. Lots of single guys will be there.
WENDY
I don’t want anyone else. I want Karl.
JULES
You’re never going to get him back with your hair like that. You look like you have birds’ nests on your head.
WENDY
It doesn’t look that bad. I just haven’t brushed it in awhile.
JULES
You didn’t make out too badly did you? He let you keep the car, the clothes and the jewelry, and he gave you a job at his company. You’re coming to the meeting tomorrow night aren’t you?
WENDY
I don’t know. I don’t think it’s helping me.
JULES
Of course it is. You just haven’t given it enough time. And try not to be late again.
INT. WENDY’S PLACE OF WORK - NEXT DAY
Wendy, dressed in modest blue skirt, blue skirt and white blouse with her hair in a bun, sits at desk outside of an office typing a memo. Her desk is a jumble of papers and files. There is an empty coffee cup on one side of her computer, and a half empty water bottle on the other side. A postcard of woman with frazzled hair with the caption “Bad Hair Daze” is tacked to back wall.
On the other side of Wendy is another desk where GLORIA, an older woman with teased-out bleached blonde hair wearing a too-tight cheap purple suit sits filing her nails and talking on the phone.
JOHN, a young file clerk, stops at her desk and puts a stack of files on an empty space.
JOHN
These need filing today.
Wendy glances over at Gloria.
WENDY
I’ve got a stack of letters that need to go out by 4 p.m. (Wendy glances at the clock) Can’t someone else do this?
JOHN
Jay says he want you do it before you leave. He says you know where they go, and he wants to be able to find them again someday. He’s your boss not mine. See you later.
John looks at Gloria, then back at her, smiles and walks away. Wendy looks at the clock, the stack of files, the stack of letters and keeps typing.
Friday, January 13, 2006
So I'm at home right now because I'm exhausted and it's been busy week at work. I have screenwriting seminar on Sunday, and I have not written anything. I am so bad. I am paying about $100 per class for which I get about 1-1.5 hours of really good feedback, and I'm not writing.
I don't have my plot down and I don't like writing a screenplay until I am happy with my plot. The trouble is that it sometimes takes me four months to nail a plot down. Once I have my plot nailed down, I can write a screenplay in two weeks. This is my process. It might not be ideal, but it's worked so far.
I think what I might end up doing is handing in 10 pages just to get feedback. I definitely need to take my laptop with me on vacation and ruminate about my screenplay. I really thought I had a good plot, but the feedback I keep getting is I don't know my character yet and I need to decide who she is.
Honestly, since I now seem to spend 75% of my paying job doing business and tech writing, I have absolutely no energy for any creative writing. I thought I always wanted a writing job that paid, and that's what I have. But I meant a writing job where I write my own stories, not where I write newsletters and presentations.
I think I just have to make myself stick to a writing schedule, and even though my creative writing muse seems to have taken a vacation, the books say if you just show up and write, eventually you'll start writing. I hope so.
I don't have my plot down and I don't like writing a screenplay until I am happy with my plot. The trouble is that it sometimes takes me four months to nail a plot down. Once I have my plot nailed down, I can write a screenplay in two weeks. This is my process. It might not be ideal, but it's worked so far.
I think what I might end up doing is handing in 10 pages just to get feedback. I definitely need to take my laptop with me on vacation and ruminate about my screenplay. I really thought I had a good plot, but the feedback I keep getting is I don't know my character yet and I need to decide who she is.
Honestly, since I now seem to spend 75% of my paying job doing business and tech writing, I have absolutely no energy for any creative writing. I thought I always wanted a writing job that paid, and that's what I have. But I meant a writing job where I write my own stories, not where I write newsletters and presentations.
I think I just have to make myself stick to a writing schedule, and even though my creative writing muse seems to have taken a vacation, the books say if you just show up and write, eventually you'll start writing. I hope so.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
I don't think I'm going to see "Brokeback Mountain". Two friends of mine have seen the movie and said it wasn't very good. We were speculating as to why the movie is winning all these awards, and we agreed that it's just Hollywood voting politically. I really trust these two friends' opinions of movies, and when they say a movie is boring, then the movie is truly boring.
One of my friends said that her gay friend told her that "King Kong" was a better love story. That's sad huh? "Far from Heaven" deals with same kind of subject as"Brokeback Mountain" and that movie didn't get nearly the amount of press or praise from the critics. "Far from Heaven" is wonderfully written and the cinematography was so beautiful.
This same friend, who also writes screeplays, highly recommended "The Weatherman" with Nicholas Cage. She said it was a really fun flick. What happened to that movie? There were a few trailers, and then all of a sudden it left the theaters. My friends thinks that no one knew how to market the movie. Im going to have to rent it on Netflix.
Other movie recommendations from my two friends:
The new "Pride and Prejudice". There isn't a lovely Colin Firth shirtless underwater scene but apparently, the new Mr. d'Arcy has a delicious bare-chested walking through the forest scene.
"Capote" - Phillip Seymour Hoffman is fabulous and worth watching.
"Shopgirl" - Steve Martin is a terrific writer.
Both of my friends hated the new Harry Potter. They said it was too confusing if you hadn't read the book, unlike the other Potter movies. I didn't think so, but then again I did read the book.
They both heard "Syriana" was confusing to watch, but I didn't think so. I thought the writer did a very good job of weaving the different stories together, just like he did in "Traffic".
They both heard that "Memoirs of a Geisha" was a disappointment after reading the book. I thought the movie did a very good job of getting the essence of the story on screen, since the book was very long. The recreation of the gesiha world in old Japan was stunning. The kimonos were gorgeous and those shots of the beautiul cherry blossoms were amazing.
Alright, I must admit that when I saw the two chinese actresses I couldn't help but be reminded of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", but only because both women were also in that movie. But at least the Chairman was japanese. One thing that was interesting was that I always thought of the Chariman as older and not as good looking from reading the book. So I was pleasantly surprised to find the Chairman was quite the looker.
What I also noticed in the movie however, which somehow never came across as fully in the book, is that the Chairman is like so old compared to the geisha girl telling the story. Talk about literally robbing the cradle.
One of my friends said that her gay friend told her that "King Kong" was a better love story. That's sad huh? "Far from Heaven" deals with same kind of subject as"Brokeback Mountain" and that movie didn't get nearly the amount of press or praise from the critics. "Far from Heaven" is wonderfully written and the cinematography was so beautiful.
This same friend, who also writes screeplays, highly recommended "The Weatherman" with Nicholas Cage. She said it was a really fun flick. What happened to that movie? There were a few trailers, and then all of a sudden it left the theaters. My friends thinks that no one knew how to market the movie. Im going to have to rent it on Netflix.
Other movie recommendations from my two friends:
The new "Pride and Prejudice". There isn't a lovely Colin Firth shirtless underwater scene but apparently, the new Mr. d'Arcy has a delicious bare-chested walking through the forest scene.
"Capote" - Phillip Seymour Hoffman is fabulous and worth watching.
"Shopgirl" - Steve Martin is a terrific writer.
Both of my friends hated the new Harry Potter. They said it was too confusing if you hadn't read the book, unlike the other Potter movies. I didn't think so, but then again I did read the book.
They both heard "Syriana" was confusing to watch, but I didn't think so. I thought the writer did a very good job of weaving the different stories together, just like he did in "Traffic".
They both heard that "Memoirs of a Geisha" was a disappointment after reading the book. I thought the movie did a very good job of getting the essence of the story on screen, since the book was very long. The recreation of the gesiha world in old Japan was stunning. The kimonos were gorgeous and those shots of the beautiul cherry blossoms were amazing.
Alright, I must admit that when I saw the two chinese actresses I couldn't help but be reminded of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", but only because both women were also in that movie. But at least the Chairman was japanese. One thing that was interesting was that I always thought of the Chariman as older and not as good looking from reading the book. So I was pleasantly surprised to find the Chairman was quite the looker.
What I also noticed in the movie however, which somehow never came across as fully in the book, is that the Chairman is like so old compared to the geisha girl telling the story. Talk about literally robbing the cradle.
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