Okay, seriously, why can't I find a spiritual new-agey, chubby, happy go lucky, totally charming frat boy to love? I know this type exists, I've met them and they were all taken. DAMN!!! All the good ones are truly taken.

But I know my very spiritual new-agey, very happy go lucky, chubby frat boy is out there somewhere, looking for me like I am looking for him.

He's clean cut, he's not a dirty hippy boy, he's a guy-guy who loves football and is not wimpy and not too thin. He is sweet, totally smart, and is way smarter than me, and he is most importantly, spiritual, he's aware, he's open to everything and anything, is intuitive and is knowledgable about all the new-agey stuff and if not knowledgable open to exploring it all.

Onto to another interesting topic. One of the speakers on that panel was really, really cute. My friends and I think he was kind of staring at us, but we don't know which one of us he was looking at. Not sure if I was me because my two San Diego friends are both blonde, blue eyed and busty as all get out. They are like typical SoCal girls and so much fun to hang with.

Or maybe he wasn't looking at us at all really. I mean after all, we were sitting in the front row. The guy has been lecturing for 10 years so I am sure he just checks out his audiences just for the heck of it.

Still, there is something to him that is so fascinating. One of my San Diego's friend's son came to the Expo and was telling my friend his mom how to get a relationship she really wants. He told her to write down everything she liked in all her past relationships in red ink on a piece of paper and keep it closer to her and read it every day. This process will help to manifest a guy exactly like on the piece of paper.

So anyway, here's what going on. I never really got to meet the cutie panel guy because his lecture was sold out and he didn't really talk to very many people. The more I research the cutie panel guy the more he seems to have all the qualities I liked about all my ex's. And I don't know what to think about that. Is this someone I need to get to know better? Part of me says yes and another part of me says no.

The NO part says that, okay, he's got all the things you like in all your old loves but do you want to go down that road again, haven't you already been there, done that and it's never worked out, what makes you think it will work out this time, isn't that the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.

The YES part says, it doesn't matter what you think he might or not be, the guy is interesting, you could learn something from him, like how to combine the practical and spiritual, and he does have interesting things to say, and you never know, he's not quite what you want, not in a million years ever, but you never know.

So I think I am like having such a school girl crush on her very intersting professor. Haven't had one of those in years and it's kind of sweet, kind of stupid, kind of fun, kind of weird, and hopefully harmless. It's just a crush right?

Check out the video from the Conscious Life Expo - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJl41hUgymM.

I felt like blogging today only because I am supposed to be working on my screenplay so I can submit it to this website, and blogging feels like a lovely distraction right now.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is on right now, and they just had the scene with the spiders which always gives me the shivers. I hate spiders, real or imagined.

I had what I think could be termed a life-changing experience last month, although the jury is still out on how much a life change it will be.

On February 2 I received an email about the Conscious Life Expo in Los Angeles which was happening on Valentine's Day weekend. On a whim, I decided to fly down to attend because one of the tour guides from my Peru/Easter Island trip, Sean David Morton, was lecturing on Sunday. I was also thinking that the people who were on my Peru/Easter Island trip would also be there, and it would so much fun to see them again.

I am such a whim follower that I bought my plane ticket, booked a hotel room at the Hilton LAX where the Expo was being held shortly thereafter. It is so exciting and fun for me to fly somewhere to check something out that I am interested in, even if just for a couple of days. I hope I never lose the thrill of exploring new things.

We have the same version here in San Francisco called the New Living Expo and I've been attending this event for years, but I've never been to a similar event outside of the SF Bay Area.

Sure enough, there were two women from San Diego who had driven up to see Sean, and it was so great to connect with them again. We became very good friends on our tou, and even though I exchanged information with everyone, I never got around to connecting with anyone. Now we are all emailing each other, which is so cool because we will at least stay connected that way.

And it was fun to see Sean and Melissa his wife again, even though I saw them several times last year since Sean is up here quite a lot to lecture.

So anyway, my two San Diego friends and I were sitting in the front row for Sean's lecture and then we decided to stick around for the next event which was a panel hosted by George Noory of Coast to Coast AM. The panel was on Prophecy and featured Sean as well as others talking about what will will happen in 2012.

The end of the Mayan calendar is not that far away, so everyone is talking about it and theorizing about what will happen if anything. It's all so interesting if you're into these kind of inquiries.

Anyway there was this guy there, David Wilcock, who really impressed me as someone who is trying to combine both the science of what is going on along with the spirituality. There are a ton of so called spiritual people out there talking about 2012, but no one has really combined the science like David.

That combination of the science and the practical with the spiritual seems so life changingto me, because I do just like the spiritual aspect of things and kind of leave the practical stuff alone. You know the practical stuff is all the things I do to live like have a job, pay my rent, work out, etc. It would be just so amazing to combine the two worlds together. I think the people who combine the spiritual and practical together are the ones who have jobs and careers they love, jobs and careers that they feel they were born to do.

So that's my life changing moment thing - how do I combine my spiritual life with my practical life. This is what I get when I named 2009 my year of alignment. I have to align my spiritual and practical lives, which will never be an easy task and will I feel be like walking on a tightrope over a vast chasm where you can fall into the abyss either way.

Someone told me that it's a good custom to name your year, so using my intuition I am naming 2009 the year of Alignment. I think this means I need to align my life with what I want, like being in a relationship again.

M-Square passed on in May. The man was interesting but like any stressed out executive, he didn't take care of himself and had the worst nutritional habits. I'm sorry but pizza and way too many drinks does not make for a healthy life.

I was very saddened to hear about him going, but I know he has moved to a more a peaceful and happy existence.

So it's time as well for me to move on to find another love.