Just when I feeling really good about my life, something happens to destroy that feeling. It's always that way isn't it? It's not that my life has gone completely to hell in a hand basket, but I get totally freaked out when I don't feel secure about my job.

And right now I'm stressed about my job, and I've been waking up at 5 am sometimes 4 in the morning, worrying about what will happen to me. I haven't felt that way in a long time.

Even when my company was moving location last year and the possibility of being unemployed was real, I wasn't as freaked out as I am now. Last year in my old apartment, I could have handled being unemployed. It would have been hard, but I could have survived on unemployment and savings for a long time.

With the new apartment, surviving on unemployment and saving is still possibilty but not for very long. The new scenario scares me, and makes me wonder if I should have listened to my friend when she said not to move until I knew for sure that working from home was going to work to work out mutually for me and company.

I've gotten used to working from home but with my new boss who is a control freak, my remoteness is irksome to him, very irksome.

He doesn't know me, he's relatively new to the company and he's trying to prove that he deserved his VP promotion. And I get to be the sacrificial goat for his trial by fire. It's not a pleasant feeling. He's toned down his initial "lordiness", but it's still there. And I don't think he's going to forgive me for complaining to my old boss who is also his boss, about him pressuring me to move. In fact, he's already started to torture me in little ways.

And it's not like I haven't faced this situation before because I have, and when it happened I was able to find another job fairly quickly, so quickly that the new boss was so shocked that I resigned.

But I have fears. The economy is bad right now out here. There are a ton of jobs in my field right now and for my particular skill set, but it's a employer's market out there and I'm competing with bunches and bunches of people who are looking for jobs. Employers can pick and choose.

I mean, I have good feelings about my job prospects. I've never had problems finding employment before, but I don't I've ever had to look for a job in this tight of an economy.

I've dug out all my positive thinking books, and am reading them nightly. Those books helped me get through all my other job crises, and their principles do work. Let's just hope they'll work even now.