I was watching the movie, Hardball starring Keanu Reeves about a gambler forced to coach an inner city cabrini project chicago little league baseball team.

The movie was a little long, and a little predictable but it was so heart wrenching nonetheless. It made me feel spoiled because those kids lead such violent horrific lives. My family didn't have that much money growing up, but at least I grew up in a house with a big yard where my mother raised orchids. There was no city violence to worry about, no gangs, no guns and drive-by shootings.

That movie made me think about my "charmed life", and how I think I am now what I hated as a teen - "middle class". We weren't really poor, we weren't really rich, we were in the middle. By the time I came along I was the only kid in the house, and the family wasn't so financially strapped.

I grew up thinking there would always be money somehow and compared to those kids, I've become cavalier in my attitudes toward money. I just spent $83 to get my hair cut. I only get my hair trimmed three or four times a year, but still $83 is a lot for a shampoo, trim, style, and blowdry.

I remember when I used to go to Supercuts and beauty schools to get hair trimmed, and now I pay top dollar. I don't pay it without blinking an eye because I'm way too Jack Benny for that, but I still pay it.

I heard Suze Orman say on her television show that it's foolish to take spending money for granted because every little expense adds up. She's right. A couple of months ago I bought myself some new eating utensils. I could have bought cheaper ones, but nooooo, I had to have the ones with the pineapple tipped handles that were originally $200 for four place settings but which I bought on sale for $100.

I could have bought cheaper silverware, because in the long run does it really matter what your silverware is like. But nooooo, I had to have pineapple tipped ones because I want to have the tropics inspired things in my apartment.

Like what is is up with me wanting "tropic inspired" crap? Where did that come from? Or the time I wanted to decorate my kitchen in french country, and the time I wanted to decorate my bathroom so it had a caribbean/ocean flavour, and that other time I wanted to decorate my living room so it felt like I was living in a country cottage. Not to mention that I have obsession for owning brittish made dinnerware, and not just any old brit brand but Spode only.

Like where did I pick up all this silly decorator nonsense from? I'm like totally spoiled, living and acting spoiled, and there are kids living in the squalor of inner city housing projects. I'm experiecing a case of "middle class wealth guilt", and it's horrible!