I'm in Monterey at the 40th anniversary of the Monterey Pop Festival in 1967, which they are calling the "Monterey Summer of Love" festival. We saw a Doors tribute band and now we're listening to a San Jose production of the musical "Hair".

I'm having a groovy time. If you could prove you were over 50 today, you could get in for free. There are a ton of hippies here in costume, hippie wannabees, and real one who look like the last 40 years have not treated them very kindly.

So 40 years after the summer of love, there's a republican in the Whitehouse and we are again in a war that many find questionable. What happened to the supposed revolution of peace, love and music?
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I'm at the Shoreline Amphitheatre in Mountain View listening to the band Eisley. They are opening for the group The Fray, who will play later tonight. I am here with two friends, and it's so fun because I haven't been here for a concert in years.
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I am sitting in Union Square waiting for an appointment, and a high school band is playing latin jazz music. The weather is warm for San Francisco. I wish I had a camera on my blackberry so I could upload a pic for everyone to see.
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I was checking the email for this blog and found a fanmail from a casual reader. It's fun for me to know that random people are reading my blog and enjoying what they read, even if it is my bizarro personal life.

The fanmail referred to my relationship with M-Square, whom I haven't spoken to since February 2006 but whom I occassionaly spy on only because he has a profile on myspace. I'm quite pathetic huh! The more I read the comments he gets, the more I realize that us breaking up was probably the best thing that could have happened, and I totally am grateful to him that he decided to leave my life. I think he kind of wanted to beat me to the punc, because I think I probably would have broken up with him sooner rather than later.

For those of you who know the M-Square saga, the dialogue I wrote a couple of days was inspired by him and some of the issues we went through as a couple. 99% of it is totally made up but I tried to write the guy part like M-Square was talking to me, although I know that he would totally protest that I wasn't feeling him and got his way of talking totally wrong.

Memo to guys - if you've been any kind of schmuck to the girl you are dating, for god's sake, don't use that phrase "you're not feeling me" in the middle of an argument. When M-Square said it to me I just wanted to yell back. "No, I don't know what it's like to feel like a lying good-for-nothing freak and I don't ever want to experience those kinds of feelings." The "you're not feeling me" line only works if you're someone the person you're speaking to wants or cares to know what you're feeling, and most people do not want to know what it feels like to be a jerk. People have enough problems about feeling their own jerkiness, so they certainly don't need to feel any of yours.

I've spent the whole night listening to different ring tones, but couldn't decide which one to buy. The ones I really want would be really too loud for the office. I'm sure my cube mates would freak out if they heard a song by Disturbed coming out of my phone. But I love Disturbed songs and they are loud enough so I could hear them.

If I was going for my favorite band I guess I would have to pick The Cure, but then they have these funny ones like this guy saying "is this a booty call?" or some other guy saying don't answer the phone because it's a wrong number. There's also Darth Vader and Yoda telling you to answer your phone. How funny is that.

Actually, the ones that sounded pretty good were:
- intro to Sweet Child of Mine by Guns N Roses
- Synth intro to Baby O'Reilly by The Who
- All allong the Watchtower intro by Jimi Hendrix
- Wish you were here by Pink Floyd - such a funny ring for a phone

But then I keep thinking it would be kind of fun to have a classical music phone ring, but would I be able to hear the phone ring when it's in my bag? I don't think so.

I'm in a playwriting mood these days. I'm even thinking of resurrecting that play I wrote years ago and finishing it. I had some great ideas for the rest of the scenes yesterday.

This fictional conversation between a male and a female flowed out of me this afternoon. I think it will make for an interesting scene in a future play.

**********************************

Female: You know I used to really think you were something some back in the day. God, you were amazing … but l mean, look at you now.

Male: People change, priorities change, life makes you change.

Female: NO! Not like this, not like you.

Male: I’m still the same person underneath.

Female: No, you’re not. You were strong, you were invincible, you were like Russell Crowe in that gladiatior movie, you could unleash hell.

Male: I still can if I want to.

Female: Unleash what? you can barely pay your rent, you don’t even have health insurance. OH MY GOD, you’re like a, like a BUM.

Male: That’s harsh.

Female: But it’s truth isn’t it? Reality is harsh.

Male: I’ll make a comeback. I always do. I’m in school now at USC, getting a different degree, learning different things. Opportunities will open up for me, you’ll see.

Female: What I see is someone who has, god what is that odd little phrase my mother used to always use, “fallen from grace”. Only you didn’t just fall from grace, you devolved backwards into something very unrecognizable.

Male: Life is a learning experience. We are all here to learn different things, new things. Give me a chance. Look, you loved me once before. Okay, maybe that was a long time ago, but you did love me once. And it was real, very real.

Female: I know it was real, I was there remember. And our souls talked to each other again last night, and it was like coming home after a very long journey. But it’s different. I’ve changed, you’ve changed. I’ve gone forward by leaps and bounds, and you. I don’t know where you’ve gone, I don’t where you’ve been, and I definitely don’t want to be where you are now.

Male: But we can make it work, I know we can. You're not feeling me. You're not feeling me at all.

Female: You're right. I don't feel you and I don't want to feel you. How long before the demons come? How long before you’re hanging out at the bar more than you’re at home with me? How long before you find redemption and forgetfulness at the Temple of Glenlivet.

Male: I told you that part of my life is all over. I’m on the wagon now. For good.

Female: Every alcoholic falls off the wagon, now and again. They’ve done studies.

Male: Not me. I told you I’m committed to changing my life. Besides, I did my time at Harbor Justice. I went to AA meetings. I was even an AA meeting leader for chrissakes. Doesn’t that tell you I’ve changed?

Female: And when was the last time you had a forty?

Male: Last night as a matter of fact. I can drink beer. I just can’t drink the hard stuff.

Female: Did you announce that in your AA meeting? Hi! I’m an alcoholic and I can still chug a 40.

Male: I don’t need those meetings anymore. I told you I’m sober and I’m going to stay that way.
Female: You know what, you’re right. You haven’t changed. You’re still the same stupid jerk I fell in love with, what centuries ago, only this time I’ve changed and I’m not about to fall for your Mr. Genius BS logic. You know what your problem is. You were always just a little too smart for you own good. But if you were so smart, how the hell did you get a double DUI in the first place? You know what, forget it. I’m out of here. It was fun, it was real, and I still love you. You were definitely right about that. But I’m not going to do this anymore. I’m not going to listen to you and your messed up mind twist me and my life around again. You had your chance with me, and you know what, you blew it, yet again.

Male: You can’t just walk out on me.

Female: Oh yeah, watch me.

Male: You’ll be back. You’re like a boomerang, you always come back.

Female: Not this time, babe, not this time.

Male: Fine. Then leave. You know what, I’m going to do you one better. I don’t want you to ever call me again. I’m going to break up with you first.

Female: Whatever.

(Female picks up bag and leaves the room slamming the door behind her. Male sits there with a stunned expression on his face. Male gets up walks to the kitchen, opens the refrigerator door, pops open a 40 oz of beer and starting chugging.)

I'm very torn between wanting to buy the final installment of the Harry Potter series when it comes out or waiting till it comes out in paperback because all the books I have are in paperback. All my Harry Potter books are the UK paperback children's version of the novels. One of these days, I'd like to read the American version of the novels to see if there's a huge difference.

If I buy the hardback version, then the book will really out of place sitting on the book shelf next to its paperback brethren. But, darn, darn, I am dying to read what happens at the end. I am one of those readers who always reads the ending of the book before I've finished reading. I absolutely hate the suspense of not knowing what's going to happen at the end. It doesn't bother me the slightest bit that I know the ending, I mean who cares. What's fun for me is seeing how the author achieved the ending and whether the ending makes sense given everything that's come before.

I still hate the ending of "Cold Mountain". I don't say that about very many stories. The ending makes perfect sense and the story couldn't have ended any other way, but I hate that the characters don't get together.

Speaking of sad endings, Philip Pullman's books starting with The Golden Compass is being made into a movie. Talka about another novel series where the ending made me cry so much. It was very, very poignant and I was surprised that it stirred that much emotion in me. I'm not sure I'd want to see that ending on the big screen. It would be too painful.

Okay, back to Harry Potter. Here's who I think will die in the final novel.
Valdemort, Snape, Hermoine, Ron, Sirius Black and his brother again because they will come back to life somehow but will be killed defending Harry. I also think Lucius and his son Draco Malfoy will die, but it will be sad for Draco because he was more of a coward than an evil person.

They had a Harry Potter movie marathon over the weekend and I got really interested in the books again after watching the movies, so I read The Order of the Phoenix and The Half-Blood Prince last night. JK Rowling is a brilliant plot writer. I love all the story lines are being tied up.

I watched an interview she did on some BBC program where she said she cried after she wrote one chapter, and I think she cried about Snapes dying. I think it's obvious that Snapes has to die. I think RAB has to be Sirius Black's brother. I mean why bother to mention the man twice and not have him show up somewhere. I'm speculating that Sirius comes back from the dead with his brother and they both help Harry to defeat Valdemort, but then they both go back to where ever they came from. They could even come back with Dumbledore, who went out without much of a fight, like Obewon Kanobi in Star Wars.

JK Rowling said that the colour of Harry's eyes and the fact that he has his mother's eyes is an important plot point. My speculation is that Voldemort will either make Harry look like him or make himself look like Harry, and that the only way to tell them apart and kill one of them would be by the eye colour.

I don't like to think of Harry dying, but after The Order of the Phoenix I was getting the feeling that he might. There's too much talk about dying nobly for one cause and going into a fight with your eyes open. But he might not, I just got a feeling that he might have to die to make his character arc make sense.

I'm also thinking that Hermoine and Ron might die to protect Harry, which would be just like his parents. There are paralells between Hermoine and Ron's relationship and his parents. Ron is a pure blood just like Harry's father, and Hermoine is muggle born like Harry's mother. Harry's mother hated Harry's father when they first met, but got together their last year at school. I think before Hermoine and Ron die that they will get together and realize they love each other.

Poor Harry Potter. I hope this Ron/Hermoine scenario doesn't true but Harry seems to have a lot of anger and revenge feelings about this parents' murder right now, which is making him very dark. I can't help but think of Luke Skywalker who had to give up his anger and hatred before he became a full Jedi. One way for a person to give up their anger is to reexperience the tragedy which caused the anger, only under different circumstances. Maybe Harry has to live through his family, because Ron and Hermoine are his chosen family, dying again to realize the futility of revenge and anger.

I can see Harry becoming Headmaster at Hogwarts, and him marrying Ginny, who would be like Minerva McGonagall. There are some nice parallels there. I read somewhere that Dumbledore was too isolated. Dumbledore told Harry that witches and wizards do not understand the mystery of the human heart, which explains their seeming cruelty. Even Harry's own father was quite cruel when he was a teenager. But love changed him, and for the change to be complete in the witch and wizard worlds, there has to be a leader who has both the wizard/witch gifts and the gift of a human heart which can love and make unexplainable sacrifices.

Wizards and witches really hates muggles, but what if witches and wizards helped muggles with their issues. It's odd that muggles and witches and wizards live in such parallel existence with each other, when it would be much better for the world if they could somehow work together.

It's what people are saying the "revolution" is all about; that there is a spiritual awakening going on with the countdown to 2012. People are realizing their true potential, their true powers which they have learn to use because things are supposedly going to come completely apart at 2012.

I'm at the Alameda County Fair watching Peter Noonan and Herman's Hermits with my friend K. I'm sure my real mom loved this band.
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There's a line in the movie "Queen of the Damned", where Lestat says something like - in LA which feeds on the beauty of youth I didn't eve cause a ripple.

I'm at a seminar at the Beverly Garland hotel in North Hollywood, and I think I finally get the differences between LA and San Francisco. Nothing causes a ripple in LA. It's too big, there are too many people, and everyone who lines here is too jaded and too cynical to care.

San Francisco is for all its big city talk is still a small town. I don't think in Los Angeles it would make the front page of the LA Times if the mayor was accused of doing cocaine.

Los Angeles' jadedness is calling me, just like NYC's anonymity called to me in high school. I like that LA is warm and I love that if I lived here I could disappear and do my own thing and not draw too much attention to myself. I can't really disappear in SF; I've lived there for too long and I'm always running into people I know.
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I'm sitting in the sun on the sand at Santa Monica state beach. It's warm and my brother and I are watching my neice frolicking in the ocean. I love southern Cali! It's nice and warm here.
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I just saw the movie "DOA - Dead on Arrival", and it was actually quite good. Good if you like pretty girls who can fight like boys, which I absolutely love. But boys will love it too as all the girls were pretty much half naked while they where fighting. The plot was shaky, but I've been subject to much worse. And in a kung fu action movie, who cares about plot because it's all about the fighting and the fighting was excellent.
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A view from my balcony at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel - a rainbow over Waikiki beach one rainy morning. This was the only rainbow I saw on my trip. I saw three rainbows on the first day when I was on Kauai last January

Another view from my balcony at the Royal Hawaiian hotel - Waikiki beach in the morning with Diamond Head in the background. Notice how they are already people in the water and surfers already surfing.

Speaking of Van Morrison, I saw Van Morrison at a Bob Dylan concert I went to years ago. Dylan asked him to join him on stage for a couple of numbers. Van Morrison's daughter joined the stage as well.

I would love to see Bob Dylan and his son Jakob Dylan (The Wallflowers) play on stage together. Bob Dylan is cool and such an icon! Bob Dylan's music has been playing in my house since I was a baby, so when I saw him I flashed back to my early years like to about age 5. I think I was cognizant of his music at age 5. That was weird. My mother taught me how to sing "Blowing in the wind" when I was little.

I was going to do some yoga tonight, so I'll guess I'll put on my Police cds and listen to them in honour of their concert. Wikipedia is so bad! We looked up The Police Reunion tour and got the set list and checked out the stage. My friend K is upset that Sting's son's band is the warm up band. When she saw the Rolling Stones in concert (another free ticket), Van Morrison was the warm-up band.

I think it's rock and roll nepotism at its best. Why not be the warm-up band for your dad's band? When a dad owns a business, the offspring take over when dad retires. Who says the same thing can't happen in a pop band?

My friend K is going to the Police Reunion concert tonight. I am so jealous! A friend called saying her other friend cancelled and asked my friend K if she wanted to go. It's all last minute, as my friend K only heard about the free ticket today. She's always going to concerts at the last minute. That kind of stuff never happens to me.

We both have the Police boxed cd set, and my friend K is a HUGE Sting fan. She has seen Sting in concert by himself before, but not when he was with The Police. My Police connection is that they played at my college before I attended, so I thought the school would get a ton of good bands coming through and playing. NOT! Nobody famous or on the way to being famous played during my four years there. Heck, I saw more famous bands playing for free at Justin Herman Plaza (like Live, Radiohead, Kansas) than I ever did at my school. What a rip!

She said the tickets are in the nose bleed seats, like probably Mt. Davis, which swings and shakes when it's really windy. But who cares! It's The Police! I want to hear "Roxanne", "Don't stand so close to me","Tea in the Sahara", "King of Pain", and "Every little thing she does is magic" live.

It's a beautiful day in San Francisco, although still a little breezy downtown.

I went for a walk in Golden Gate after work yesterday and most of the roses were in full bloom. I love roses so much. I'm sure people think I'm a nut case because I go around and smell all the different roses to find out which ones have smells. Not all roses have a smell, but when you find one that does it is so heavenly. Whenever I sniff a scented rose, it feelsl like I am stealing the rose's soul somehow. Of course the analogy would work better if after I sniffed a rose, it instantly died and all the petals fell off. Fortunately that hasn't happened yet, and even a scented rose that's half dead still gives out a great scent.

There's also this giant purple sculpture of half a head in the park, past the museums and the rose garden. The title of the sculpture is called "The Dreamer" and it was supposedly installed in May and is supposed to stay up till November. Good luck I say, as the poor artist left a sign saying that if there is graffiti on the statue he has to paint it over and doesn't get reimbursed. The next time I go to the park, I'll take a picture. And no, my blackberry does not have a camera. It's a big deal to me having to deal with the keyboard and a camera would kill me.

Did I mention I loved having my Henry, The Earl of Blackbery with me in Hawaii? I loved being able to check my personal email accounts and to be able to send emails without my laptop. I was so bad, and didn't once go near a computer. If I had to look something up, I used my blackberry. I didn't even check work email which is a first for me, although I'm not sure I could have done it from a public computer.

I finally had the chance the download the pictures from the camera, and I saw that I accidentally erased some of the photos. I was starting to suspect that instead of copying pictures to the memory card, I was actually deleting them. And sure enought that's what I did. When I put the card in the new card reader I bought, there were no images. The pictures I was taking were already being stored in the memory card, and I didn't have to copy the pics to the card. I had no idea I would be taking over 170 pictures. This is what happens I have a device that I hardly ever use, and then decide to use for a critical event. It's a big screw-up and I'm the stupid one to blame. I'm so mad at myself right now.

What I really should have done was put the 1 gig memory card in the camera. Had I done that, I wouln't have had to erase any pictures. Oh well, live and learn. I had such good pictures of Mount Haleakala, and now they're gone. Most of pics I took of my relatives at my cousin's wedding are gone. Damn! That was so dumb! I should have listened to my intuition and put the 1 gig memory card in. There were other people taking pictures at my cousin's wedding so hopefully they will send their pictures to me.

I'm really upset about erasing the Mount Haleakala pictures. I had so many photos of the silversword plant, which is a plant that only grows in volcanic ash. It was so other-worldly looking.

I'm sitting on my balcony which overlooks Waikiki beach at the Royal Hawaiian hotel. It's the pink hotel on Waikiki strip that's been here forever. It's amazingly beautiful! I would love to honeymoon here. The bathroom towels are pink, including the bathrobe.
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On a break from touring in the car, and eating rice and shoyu ahi poke in the parking lot of Star Market in the Honokawai Marketplace. Oh yeah, I'm washing it down with passion orange guava (pog) juice and chocolate covered macadamia nuts.
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