S. Brenda Elfgirl - I was told I am an elf in a parallel life, and I live in the Arizona desert exploring what this means. I've had this blog for a while and I write about the things that interest me. My spiritual teacher told me that my journey in life is about balancing "the perfect oneness of a sweetness heart and the effulgent soul". My inner and outer lives are like parallel lines that will one day meet, but only when there is a new way of thinking. Read on as I try to find the balance.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Saturday, March 26, 2016
I teach this class to children who are at least 8 years old, to mystery school students who are tagged as advanced by other teachers. This is a beginning exercise that the student can explore further as they grow older. It’s a simple exercise really, at least it is to me. No one taught it to me. I just know how to do it, and when my mystery school teachers found out I could do it, they persuaded me to stay at the school and teach it other students. In my 10 years of teaching, I have not found another student who just knew how to do this. I find this fact oddly disturbing at some level, but it does give me a sense of job security if there is such a thing.
My class is filled with children of varying ages, and they are 10 children in all. They all look rather smug if you asked me, but then I suppose they have every right to be. You don’t get to be in my class unless some teacher has singled you out as being advanced.
I smile and ask them to sit in a circle a foot apart. Having them sit in a circle allows me to walk around to make sure each child is getting the exercise. I tell them to close their eyes, and then to imagine taking a spark of light from their own soul. And once they have the light, to create a large circle of light spinning to the right. After a few minutes when I can feel that each child has that spinning circle in their mind, I tell them to take another spark of light from their soul and to make that spark into another large circle of light, but this time spinning to the left. And when I can see the student have both circles of light spinning in their mind, I tell them to join the circles of light to create the eye of Horus, our beloved God. Once I see all the beautiful eyes of Horus in their mind, I tell them to lower the eye of Horus over them making sure that they are in the iris part of the eye.
I tell them you might feel sensations coming over their body, a sense of weightlessness, a tingling maybe. Whatever physical sensation they are feeling is okay and is part of the process. I tell them to lower their eye of Horus until the eye has touched the ground.
Then I tell them to imagine seeing themselves in the eye of Horus and to open their eyes. I tell the students that I will walk around the circle, and touch each student on their heads one by one, and when they feel the touch they are going to describe to the class what they see in their mind’s eye.
I start, and one by one each student says out loud what they see. The first student asks if he is sitting in a portal. I smile because some person in the class always asks this question. I tell the student yes, this is a portal, but it a special portal, because it doesn’t go the same place for each person. Since each student created the portal with the light of their soul, the portal becomes a vortex gateway to one of their past lives, a past life that is important for that person to see right now.
This is the fun part because each student talks about what they see, hear, sometimes smell as well, and I am always amazed at the type of lives that each student talks about in the circle.
When all the students are done speaking, I tell them to imagine the circles of light becoming one and forming a single spark of light, and to imagine that light going back into their soul.
When the exercise is done, I tell the students to opent their eyes, and I give them a 15 minute break. Then I tell the class that they will meet with me for 7 more sessions, which is 8 sessions in all. I tell them that I have found through past experience, that it takes about 8 sessions for each student to become proficient at this exercise. I tell them some of them will master this exercise in less time, and a few of them may need more time, but that they will all master this exercise. I tell them that this exercise will have many uses for them in whatever they decide to do with their lives. I let them know that one hour has passed, but that each session will get progressively longer as they practice stepping out of the portal and entering the world of their past life.
We are all standing in line in front of a large glass box. There are armed guards everywhere. Everyone is terrified. The person who looks to be in charge is surveying the crowd. He looks like your typical movie villain evil professor with glasses, a shiny slightly bald head, and a clipboard.
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Emotions come over me. I feel sad, heartbroken, but I have no memories of why these emotions are with me. In my vision, I see myself having a memory of standing exactly where I am standing now and wondering if I should fling myself off the castle wall. There is no moat around the castle, so any fall would mean instant death. In my past life memory, I have more past life memories of being this age and not growing any older. I think this means I have never had long past lives. The lives I have memories of were short, meaning I never see myself being older than 20 years old.
Monday, June 29, 2015
What else? I went to see the J W Turner exhibit at the de Young museum on Sunday. I knew Turner was considered a master in art, but I never quite got why until I saw the art in person. There is something about his work that is absolutely breathtaking. His depiction of light is amazing. His light has texture and depth. Who knew light had such substance to it. And it is different from Monet.
Monet depicted light as well, but his light was dappled and transparent. Turner's light is different. His light is so substantial. There are no words to describe his art. And seeing Turner's art in a printed book does not do the art justice. You have to see the work in person.
Art can be such a relevation. I am thinking of the time I saw Van Gogh's Sunflowers at the Tate Museum in London. The sunflowers leapt out of the canvas, and all Van Gogh did was layer the paints in the piece so it had depth. All previous art until then was flat. And then when you see the art of Jay DeFeo, you see paint layering in its extreme with her piece "The Rose".
So if you are in San Francisco, go and see the Turner exhibit at the de Young. I am now dying to see the movie about Turner's life that came out last year, and then going back to see the exhibit. That will be fun.
Friday, June 26, 2015
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Saturday, June 13, 2015
But for a reason I have yet to discover, I have not been writing anything down anywhere. Not even in my journals. I do keep notes of when odd things happen to me, but I would not call that writing, not really.
But I do really want to get back into writing, so I am thinking of blogging again. Maybe make it like morning pages recommended by Julia Cameron.
Maybe the months of NOT-writing have to come out so the creative stuff can come out. This technique has worked for me before, so I am going to give it a try again.
So expect more posts ....
Monday, July 28, 2014
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
New Short Story - Tentatively Titled "A Short History of the Sirius Crystal People"
Da'el went to his wife and kissed her on her head, and stepped back. Bishka sat up with a start, and stood up and found herself gazing into the eyes of her husband. She smiled and walked over him and hugged him.
Monday, November 12, 2012
I've never even heard of this word, but it defines what I thought of the presidential election.
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/news/world/article/Oxford-chooses-omnishambles-as-word-of-the-year-4029991.php#ixzz2C4ZmSJUM
Monday, October 29, 2012
Bob Ross is the new Google doodle. I had no idea the man had died. I love his show "The Joy of Painting". He makes painting look so easy and it is not easy at all.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
I saw the movie "The Time Traveler's Wife" a few months and liked it so much I decided to read the book. The movie was very much like the book, although a much abbreviated version.
The book had several quotes from the book "Possession" by A.S. Byatt, which I read years ago and now want to reread. Perhaps I will like "Possession" more the second time around, since I wasn't hat impressed by it when I first read it.
I'm not sure I liked "The Time Traveler's Wife" novel, which is strange because the book itself was quite riveting. How shall I say it, the novel did not touch me as much as I thought it would. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but whatever it was I didn't get it from the novel.
The novel had no big revelations about love or free will, even though the theme of love and free will is rampant throughout the book. Maybe the science fiction part sort of confused things for me, I don't know.
Okay, this is bad but I was more moved by "The Mummy" by Anne Rice than by this novel. I don't think anyone would call "The Mummy" a classic, I mean I even know that this book is nothing more than decent trash. But Anne Rice's trash novel moved me more than this new novel. Too bad because I felt so sure "The Time Traveler's Wife" novel would be so much better than the movie, but it wasn't. The movie was very moving and novel, not so much. Usually the book is better than the movie, but not this time.
Another story that is not making the local news here in San Francisco. I guess the mainstream media news doesn't want us to know that people in the UK are protesting by the thousands on the planning cuts to Britian's generous welfare system. It makes me wondering what important news stories are not being reported.
This story is so true at least for me. My favorite gift is a gift card so I can pick out what I want and need. I hate when people buy me actual presents because honestly, mostly of it has been pretty awful. It's not that my gift givers have bad taste, okay some of them do have horrid taste but not all. It's just that most people buy presents that they would want and never what I want or would like. I am very hard to shop for and most people who really get me, of which there are few few, figure this out early on. I was a picky eater as a child, and that pickinesss applies to almost every aspect of my life.
Almost every aspect because my friends tells me I'm not picky about who I date and shack up with, but that's dating. I am very picky about the person I want to be in a long term relationship with, but for the short-term, honestly, who the hell cares. It's short and sweet and almost everyone works for the short-term. It's the long-term that guys fail at, and miserably I might add.
But like my dating life, I hardly ever get gift cards so I'm always getting stuff and guys I don't want.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
When I read about this event happening, I felt sadness. Not that I really follow celebrity gossip, but it was distressing to hear that a 30-year marriage was ending. I was bummed when Al Gore split up with his wife Tipper as well, only because they had been together since high school. Is there no future for a long term marriage in today's society?
I believe remote viewed Ed Dames predicted a long time ago that something would happen with the milk supply and that mothers would be crying because they couldn't find milk for their children. I am wondering if this event is part of this prediction.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Congratulation to the San Francisco Giants! We are off again to another series!
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
When I read this article at SFGate.com and saw how beautiful this woman was, it was so shocking to find out that some people are commenting that she is a size 12. The average American woman is a size 12 and for once the public is seeing an average woman in an ad, which should be applauded and not be freaked out about.
Don't take the media brainwashing that only women who are size 6 and under should be in print advertising, and kudos to Ralph Lauren for putting this model in an ad. Makes me want to go out and buy Ralph Lauren clothes so I can support him and his ads.
Monday, October 08, 2012
This quote made me so sad because it made me realize again that nothing is permanent and in the true Buddhist way, it teaches that one shouldn't be attached to anything because desire leads to attachment. I have given birth so many times to the Heart of Sadness, I'm not sure I want to pray for it.
If you haven't seen the movie 2003 South Korean movie called Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring, you need to watch it. It illustrates so beautifully the Buddhist philosophy. I attended a screenwriting conference in Los Angeles and screenwriting guru Robert McKee recommended this movie. The movie may break your heart but you will begin to understand the "Heart of Sadness" if you don't understand it now.
What is happening in Spain with the rioting crowds is amazing. This youtube video was posted on of my favorite websites. The crowds are pushing the police back. None of this is being covered by the San Francisco Mainstream Media (MSM), but it should be because it is so powerful.
Sunday, October 07, 2012
When I read this NY Times article, I saw myself in it. I was raised by immigrants who barely spoke english but spoke english to their children so they could do well in school and hopefully get better jobs and a more affluent life. I spoke english but my vocabulary was sadly lacking. How do you describe things to your child in a language that is not your own?
But in 4th grade, I was tested as having the vocabulary of high school senior. And what is the secret of my 4th grade success? My parents and I watched lots of TV. The television was my babysitter and by the age of 7, I had my own room with a small TV and probably never turned the thing off until I went to bed. I graduated third in my class in high school, did really well on my SATs, and attended and graduated from a top 10 private liberal arts college.
I will admit that my speaking vocabulary is not great. I don't use what a friend of mine calls $5 words. My parents never used them and so I don't normally. And the few times I've injected $5 words by mistake into conversation with my family, they ask me to explain what I just said and look hurt that I've talked down to them.
I work in corporate America where people admire and at the same time resent their coworkers who use words that they cannot understand. In my current job, I write website copy sometimes and I've been told that you have to write like a person has a junior high education. So all those $5 words I learnt in school have no place in my job. And I can't imagine texting $5 words or using them in an email.
So do words matter? Yes. They matter for tests and schools, and if you are planning a career in academia. I think they also matter a great deal for books and reading because it's a pain to read something and to find a word that you don't understand and have to stop and look up. And yes, I do stop and look words up.
But do words matter in real life? Not exactly. You don't need a large vocabulary for work, for emailing and texting and for general conversation.
What really matters is getting your point read and heard clearly, and you don't need a large vocabulary to do that although words are tools to help you get the nuances right and be more precise.
Gas prices are high in California and on Sunday they went up even more. I picked up gas on Friday night at $4.549 at Costco for premium because I knew the prices would climb higher, and sure enough they did. How crazy is that? If gas goes to $6 a gallon, things in the Cali republic will break down. We're not used the high gas prices that is charged in other countries.
Saturday, October 06, 2012
From SFGate.com - the must-see movies post 1960. I was amazed at the number of movies on this list that I've seen. Of course now I have to see the movies on this list that I've never seen.
Does it feel like you are a child again and your parents are telling you everything is all right when you know that it's not? The MSM are telling us everything is okay and you know deep down they are so not. But the MSM are not my parents; they are supposed to be reporting on the news and they are not.
I am saving all my blog posts so I can have a record of my life. When I read my blog posts, it's like I'm reading the diary of someone else which is a strange feeling. That person who wrote those posts does not seem like m and yet I have memories of that person.
I used to be so political back in the day. Now I don't see any differences between the parties. You need so much money to get elected and corporations give money to both parties so their agenda gets in no matter who is in office. Does it really matter who we vote for since the Supreme Court decided who should run the country. The people that think they see the future expect that will happen again next month, so does my vote really matter when a court can decide who wins any election?
And honestly, has anything changed really for working people since we put the other party in office. The US still has too many troops deployed abroad. I just paid $4.50 for gas which the news reminded me this morning is the same price I paid in 2008. Food prices have not come down and for whatever reason, I cannot find Sumatran coffee at Costco anymore.
As you can tell, I am in a very melancholy mood this morning. Have been for the last two weeks, and I'm not sure why. Maybe blogging will help me tease out my indian summer of discontent. But it's not like I am unhappy because I'm not, but I do feel like we are all on the edge of something and that something is not very good.
Saturday, February 05, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
My uncle always said that one must always choose between the light and darkness. There is no middle ground. The darkness will always choose to extinguish the light, and the light will always try to light the darkness. So one must choose and choose wisely at every moment." From the Elf Chronicles