I was thinking today as I was lying sick in my bed, that if I believed in fairy tales or if I lived a fairy tale life, I probably wouldn't write. But I lead a common and regular life and if I can't have my happy ending in real life, I intend to have them in my stories, never mind that I don't really believe in happy endings and haven't really written a story with a happy ending yet.

Somwhere out there, there's a happy ending for one of my stories.

You know the gushy girly kind, where the really cute hunky guy from class, the one you've had a secret crush on for weeks, magically shows up somewhere you are. You see each other, your eyes meet, you smile, you move closer, and you start talking. Next you know, you're sitting in a coffee shop talking together like you were old friends, maybe even soul mates, a more romantic part of you thinks. Days go by and you and he are talking on the phone daily, exchanging email, chatting via AIM, till that one magical night when you're out together and all of sudden you find yourself back at his place and one thing leads to another. Then wooohooo! It's wild monkey sex, but you knew it would be that way all along because somehow you can always tell and you wouldn't have been interested in you weren't going to get WMS.

Okay, that's about all the happy ending I want right now.

Still it's a nice dream isn't it? The reality is, that really cute guy you've had a secret crush on in class, turns out to be not so bright. It's not that he's not bright, he earns a damned good living after all, but you couldn't discuss the many meanings of La Dolce Vita with him, or the finer points of the GOP presidential victory in Florida, or even The theory of the Force in Star Wars.

That my friend is real life. That my friend is reality. Which is why I think I write. I can create a reality where the really cute guy from class is a mini-Einstein, Bill Clinton, Warren Beatty, Mr D'Arcy, Neo from The Matrix guy all rolled into one 6 ft 2 in major hottie, melt in your mouth biscuit, with beautiful blue eyes.