Since I've been sick, I feel like I lost a whole day. I had no idea that today was Cinco de Mayo, until I got home in the afternoon. I've been craving nachos for days so I bought some on the way home, so now at least I feel like I've celebrated the day a little bit.

I've been lazing around all weekend, briefly leaving the house to go to see my chiro/holistic healer in Berkeley on Saturday and then to church today. I have an appointment in three weeks with my chiro/healer's partner, who specializes in japanese healing techniques. His whole approach to healing sounded interesting and since I've never tried it, I decided to try one appointment.

John, the japanese healer guy, said something interesting though. We were talking about fighting techniques, since I took a class in juijitsu, and he said the key to staying strong is to relax. This rang a bell with me. I'd heard the concept before in a G&D course and they called it being an automatic yes to life. Or, stop resisting everything in your life and just say yes.

I know that most of the time, I'm an automatic NO to life. I'm spontaneous if I'm in a good mood and will do just about anything, but that's rare for me. But John was demonstrating to me if you stay relaxed and not fight, the opponent can't throw you off balance. When you resist, all your energy goes into resisting and you're weaked somehow. But if you relax, then you stay strong. I wonder if you can apply these concepts to life. I'm going to try it anyway, try to not resist whatever is coming up in my life.

Like I know right now, I'm so resisting finishing my screenplay. It was my promise to finish by tomorrow to have the class read and review it. I have only 12 scenes to go and they're very fast scenes too, but I'm so not into finishing it. I've been stalling all weekend, even though I know that it's due tomorrow. I'm even stalling right now by writing in my bloggie instead of writing my screenplay.

It's so weird that I'm resisting finishing my screenplay, because I've been so looking forward to moving on to my other pieces of writing. It's like the one thing I've been longing for, the end of my screenplay writing, I'm resisting now. It's weird, very weird. But I know I'll finish it. I have too much J in me from the myers briggs test. When there's a deadline, I finish things. I rarely flake out and when I have flaked in the past, it's always been a most humiliating experience for me. Like I've created some big crime or something. I've learnt to purposely flake out just to prove I didn't always have to keep my word, but it's never been a good experience.

What am I saying. I know I'll finish it. And when it's over, I'll be happy because it means I can go back to writing my short stories and my novel. Maybe I need to put on an inspirational CD. I bought one of those grammy award winning gospel cds by Yolanda Adams. It's great. It's full of songs about going on with your life no matter what and never giving up and stuff like that. It's very inspirational only because you get 60 minutes of the stuff and after awhile, you do sort of get inspired to do something with your life. It's a cheap trick I know, but sometimes it works. I just put it on.

"If I can see it, then I can do it, if I just believe it, then there's nothing to it, I believe I can fly". I mean, how can you not write after hearing mush like that. Most of the time I think it inspires me to write, because I get so sick of it, I start writing just to block out the songs. Whatever works right?