Day 152 Bible Readings - John 20: 24-25 (ESV)

2 Samuel 1, 2 Samuel 2: 1-7, John 20, Psalm 84: 1-7

John 20: 24-25 (ESV)

“Now Thomas, one of the twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.”

Verses 24 and 25 from John 25 describes Doubting Thomas’ reaction upon hearing of the resurrection of Christ. Doubting Thomas has always been the disciple I most related to in the Bible. I related to him as a kid and an adult, I still find myself relating to him so much. Thomas loved Christ and followed him, but the shock of his death was too much for him. He was going to believe it until he had physical proof himself.

I believe in Christ, but there is a part of me that constantly questions this belief and demands the physical proof of constant miracles in my life. It is no doubt my sinful nature that keeps whispering in my ear that Christ may not be real. That belief in Christ may be a delusion. That I am crazy to believe in God after everything bad that has happened in my life. The voice is small but persistent. But I constantly have to tell that voice that God is real because I have a lifetime of proof in my life of all the ways God has done miracles in my life. That if I am delusional, I am happy to be part of the billion other delusional people in the world who think Jesus Christ is real. That God loves me so much even though I doubt him so, so much. Will I ever silence the voice? Probably not unless I can figure out how to get rid of my sinful nature. But that voice may be the best thing that I have going in my life because it constantly reminds me to think of all the ways God is real in life. To think of all the miracles I see daily in my life. And last but not least to remember how much God loves me every day of my life.

Day 151 Bible Readings - John 19: 28-30 (ESV)

1 Samuel 29-31, John 19: 28-42, Psalm 83

John 19: 28-30 (ESV)

“After this, Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), “I thirst.” A jar full of sour wine stood there, so they put a sponge full of the sour wine on a hyssop branch and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

Verses 28 through 30 describe the final minutes of Jesus’ life on the cross. I love that even though Christ must have been in obvious physical pain from his crucifixion, he said “I thirst” to fulfill what was written in the scripture. He was so conscious of his role in God’s plan and of all the predictions made about in earlier scripture. Bible commentaries have said that Christ could have asked for pain-numbing drink before his crucifixion, but he did not. He instead was asking for sour wine so he could say one final thing before he died.

The final words of Jesus before he died were “It is finished.” He knew his job was over, and that everything he and his father wanted was accomplished. Bible commentaries I read said that these final words of Jesus were the words of a conqueror, of a victor. He was not defeated, he was not in despair. He said these words because he knew the job he came to do on earth was done and it was successful. Christ bowed his head peacefully and he gave up his spirit. No one took Christ’s life from him. He willed himself to die in surrender to the will of his father. I think Jesus provides a great model for how to accept death, especially if you have spent your life in service to God to best of your ability. I pray that when my time comes, I can mirror how Jesus died and that I will leave this life knowing that I tried my best to do God’s will on earth.

Day 150 Bible Readings - 1 Samuel 27: 1 (ESV)

1 Samuel 26-28, John 19: 1-27, Psalm 81: 1-8

1 Samuel 27: 1 (ESV)

“Then David said in his heart, “Now I shall perish one day by the hand of Saul. There is nothing better for me than that I should escape to the land of the Philistines. Then Saul will despair of seeking me any longer within the borders of Israel, and I shall escape out of his hand.”

Verse 1 from 1 Samuel 27 made me feel for David. This verse tells us David was in despair. Saul kept wanting to kill him and in his heart, the heart that God knew, was tired of trusting God. I can totally relate to how David was feeling. When I’ve been very depressed in despair, I often wondered if God had forgotten about me or if I did something wrong. Or worse, maybe God didn’t even exist and I had been wrong and fooled all these years. Like David, I had forgotten how God had always rescued me when I was in dire straits.

Many Christians calls this backsliding, where we doubt God and our faith in him. If we remember that David, who was anointed and so favored by God, also suffered from backsliding then we can also know that sometimes this event happens even to everyone. But if you know the Bible, you know David turned himself around and became King. David’s redemption gives us hope that we will be able to turn ourselves around as well, and recover our faith and once again serve God.

Day 149 Bible Readings - 1 Samuel 24: 5-7 (ESV)

1 Samuel 24 & 25, John 18: 25-40, Psalm 81: 8-16

1 Samuel 24: 5-7 (ESV)

“And afterward David's heart struck him, because he had cut off a corner of Saul's robe. He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do this thing to my lord, the Lord's anointed, to put out my hand against him, seeing he is the Lord's anointed.” So David persuaded his men with these words and did not permit them to attack Saul. And Saul rose up and left the cave and went on his way.”

Verses 5 through 7 from 1 Samuel 24 resonated with me today. Samuel said that God had chosen David because he knew his heart, and these verses prove it. David had the opportunity to kill Saul, but he did not. He didn’t have the heart to kill someone whom God had anointed, even though Saul wanted him dead.

I don’t know if I could have stopped myself from killing someone who wanted to kill me, if I knew that God had favored them. I’ve never been in that situation. I have a hard time right now forgiving friends and family who aren’t awake and don’t vote the same way I do. My life is not threatened in anyway, but I’m having a hard time forgiving people who don’t think the same way politically that I do. I pray to God every day to help me have forgiveness in my heart for people who don’t vote the same way I do. But God knows I’m a work in progress on this issue, so when I read what David was able to do I was in awe. David truly deserved to be chosen by God as king for the goodness of his heart.